Finding Mr. Height: The Podcast

Ali Jackson
  • 3.9 (677)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

On Finding Mr. Height: The Podcast, dating & relationship coach Ali Jackson (@findingmrheight) brings you her positive and practical approach built from personal experience in the dating trenches. No matter where you are in your relationship journey, you’ll learn how to identify your needs, embrace your feelings, and directly communicate both. Ready to feel more authentic and grounded in your relationships and more joyful in your life overall? Tune in as Ali brings you relatable conversations with both expert guests and listeners just like you, peppering in her own personal insights along the way. Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any major podcast network. Find even more content from Ali on her Patreon, (https://www.patreon.com/findingmrheight) Instagram: @findingmrheight (https:// www.instagram.com/findingmrheight) TikTok: @findingmrheight (https://www.tiktok.com/ @findingmrheight)

  1. 3d ago

    284. Decentering Men When You're Already Partnered ft. Sam Showalter

    Ali is joined by creator Sam Showalter, who went viral for a series about decentering her own husband. Eleven years into a relationship with her now-husband, she realized how much invisible mental load she was carrying that had nothing to do with him, from tracking whether he'd eaten lunch to rushing home from the gym by 6pm so she'd be available when he logged off… In January, she decided to stop cold turkey. She and Ali get into the concrete before-and-afters, the shame high-achieving women carry about doing this at all, the backlash she got from both men and women online, and what actually changed after six months: her anxiety plummeted, the resentment lifted. And as she backed off, her husband leaned in, leaving space for both of them to be full people. In Updates, it was a stressful week. Logan started peeing outside the litter box, which sent Ali & Skyline into a worried-cat-parent spiral and a round of vet tests. Good news, nothing medically wrong, just an angsty boy who takes after his mama. But it did bring up some memories of how her cats factored into past relationships and what she may be bringing forward from that. She also reflects on adult friendship after a dinner with two other couples, and the quiet pride of realizing she'd met every person at that table in the last two years. This week's Media Mention, alongside Sam's TikTok, is a Psychology Today piece by Dr. Michele Leno, "How to Decenter Men and Still Date," on dating from clarity instead of fear. Found here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-matters/202602/how-to-decenter-men-and-still-date Where to find Sam: On Instagram @sammyshowalter, and on TikTok @thesam_show. Timestamps: Sam joins us at around minute 24. Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . Thanks to this week’s partners: Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Our Sponsors: * Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  2. Jul 20

    283. Moving In Together, Part 2: The Emotional Side of Sharing a Home

    We're continuing the multi-part moving-in series inspired by listener questions. In part two, Ali gets into the stuff you can't put in a spreadsheet: sharing a space with another person, protecting alone time when you live together, merging two homes' worth of stuff, and picking your battles (except of course when it comes to toilet paper direction).  She reflects on what nine months of living with her partner actually taught her, why needing solo time is maintenance for a relationship rather than a rejection of it, and how two people can look at the same room and honestly not see the same mess. And if you want an even deeper dive, this week's AMA on the Patreon answers a listener whose partner pushed back on having the pre-move "ground rules" conversation, and the cohabitation bonus storytimes are up there too, at Patreon.com/findingmrheight. This week there are two Media Mentions: HuffPost's "Why Some Happy Couples Choose To Sleep In Separate Bedrooms" by Kelsey Borresen, on why protecting each person's space and sleep can protect the relationship, and Psychology Today's "When Partners Have Different Levels of Cleanliness" by Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, on why clashing standards of clean are two different thresholds, not a character flaw. Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . Thanks to this week’s partners: Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Our Sponsors: * Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  3. Jul 13

    282. Moving In Together, Part 1: Money, Chores, and the Mental Load

    We’re talking all about moving in with a partner in this multi-part series I inspired by listener questions. In part one, Ali breaks down the practical side of moving in with a partner: splitting expenses, navigating one partner moving into the other’s home, divvying up housework, and more. She reflects back on the episode recorded with Skyline before he moved in, and what’s changed (or hasn’t) since: how they landed on an expense split, the expense-tagging system they built instead of a joint account, and a framework for tackling chores and the mental load by sorting every household task as “required” versus “desired” and assigning clear ownership. In Updates, Ali shares that she’s documenting a new therapy journey on the Patreon, and reflects on being offline over the holiday weekend following a death in the family. Speaking of the Patreon, you can hear the cohabitation bonus episodes mentioned there at Patreon.com/findingmrheight! This week’s Media Mention is: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky, the book that gives language to the invisible, unequally split labor of running a home. Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . Thanks to this week’s partners: Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Our Sponsors: * Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  4. Jul 6

    281. Why Self-Sufficient Women Are Still Codependent ft. Esin Pinarli

    Esin Pinarli, a psychotherapist with 18 years of experience, joins Ali to talk about people-pleasing, attachment, and what she calls modern codependency. Esin breaks down the unspoken childhood contracts we sign without realizing it, and how codependency shows up today in high-achieving, self-sufficient women who would never picture themselves as the "lost yourself in a relationship" type. The conversation also includes a refresher on the four attachment styles and the wheel of attachment, the anxious-avoidant dance, deactivating strategies, and how you actually earn your security over time through small, repeated choices. In Updates, Ali survives a brutal New York heat wave and starts a new running list with Skyline: bars that have way better food than they deserve to have, kicking things off with Abe's Pagoda in Bushwick. This week's Media Mention is creator Sam Showalter (@thesam_show on TikTok), whose series on decentering her husband tied in perfectly to the conversation about modern codependency. Sam’s video Ali mentions Where to find Esin: On Instagram @esinpinarli_lcsw and at www.eternalwellnesscounseling.com. Timestamps: Esin joins us at around minute 17. Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . Thanks to this week’s partners: Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Our Sponsors: * Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  5. Jun 29

    280. Live a Longer Lonely Life: What Tech Is Actually Doing to Connection ft. Alex Wolf

    Alex Wolf, the founder behind the original Boss Babe movement turned tech philosopher, joins Ali to explore what the attention economy is quietly doing to our ability to connect with each other, including romantically. The conversation covers why "just delete the app" misses the point entirely, why the speed of technology adoption is the real problem, and how dating apps have the same design problem as social media: they weren't built to facilitate actual connection. The two also chat about dead internet theory, what cobras have to do with your match count, and why it seems increasingly impossible to go back to anything analogue. This week's Media Mention is "What Is the Dead Internet Theory?" from Built In, exploring how bots and AI-generated content now make up the majority of internet activity and what that means for the way we connect with each other online, including on dating apps. Dead Internet Theory link Where to find Alex: On Instagram @alexwolf, on TikTok @alexwolftiktok, and on Substack at www.alexwolf.substack.com . Timestamps: Alex joins us at around minute 15. Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . Thanks to this week’s partners: Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh Our Sponsors: * Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  6. Jun 22

    279. Hot Topics #23: First-Time Manager Nerves, Single Mom Dating Apps, Timeline Anxiety, Dating Burnout, and the Talking Stage

    Ali answers five listener questions that all share a common thread: the gap between wanting something and being able to follow through. A first-time manager grappling with imposter syndrome, a single mom navigating kid disclosure on the apps, someone processing timeline anxiety after leaving a relationship, a dater hitting a wall with the performance exhaustion of first dates, and someone three weeks deep in a texting situation who can't figure out how to suggest meeting up. Patreon episode on being a good manager In Updates, Ali shares a recent impromptu date night that encapsulated what she loves about NYC - and then got reinforced at a Jimmy Eat World with an epic city background. Plus, a girls weekend is in full effect and ring shopping has come to a close! This week's Media Mention is: "Survey Data Show We're Now in a Dating Recession" from Psychology Today, by Dr. Theresa DiDonato, which found that most young adults want relationships but aren't dating, citing low confidence, app disillusionment, and fear of rejection as the biggest barriers. Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . Thanks to this week’s partners: Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh Our Sponsors: * Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  7. Jun 15

    278. Listener Storytime: Rebuilding Intimacy After Desire Faded

    This week, Ali is joined by Sarah, a listener who reached out to share her journey with desire and intimacy. Sarah opens up about how her health anxiety quietly muted her desire for sex until she sought out a specialized sex therapist, and how that work helped her reframe arousal, communicate with her husband, and rebuild a sex life that works for both of them. They also touch on practical tools that helped Sarah in her work, including the book “Women on Top” by Nancy Friday and try the Unbound Intimacy Deck for cards like Sarah describes. This week's Media Mentions are two podcast episodes. The first is from The Sexology Lab, where Dr. Laurie Mintz and Dr. Suzette Johnson discuss how SSRIs and SNRIs can impact arousal, desire, and orgasm. The second is from Doing It Together, hosted by Janna Denton-Howes, where she and her husband talk through how anxiety shows up differently for each of them in their sex life. In Updates, Ali talks about a solo dinner out, the Knicks' playoff run, a 100-degree park-hopping day that ended at a concert aimed at her teenage heart, and a quiet weekend ahead with Skyline at Bonnaroo. Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . Thanks to this week’s partners: Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh Our Sponsors: * Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  8. Jun 8

    277. What If the Best Dating Profile Was Written by Your Best Friend? ft. Brooke Janousek

    TW: This episode contains a brief discussion of cancer and loss. If you want to skip it, the guest segment begins at approximately minute 13. Brooke Janousek, founder of Someone You Should Meet, joins Ali to make the case for letting the people who know you best do the talking. Brooke and Ali dig into why apps fail to capture who people actually are, the courage gap between professional and personal life, and what inspired Brooke to start hosting in-person dating events (hint: it was attending a lackluster one herself). The two also chat about what it’s like to finally walk away from a situationship that isn’t working, and how that comes back to the frustrations of dating overall. But first, Ali shares how a personal health scare had her reflecting on how losing her dad to cancer impacts her relationship with her health today (particularly as it was happening on his birthday). This week's Media Mention is: "The Terror of Survivorship" from Laura Behnke's Substack, which dives into that very theme. Where to find Brooke: On Instagram @someoneyoushouldmeet, on TikTok @sysmofficial, at www.someoneyoushouldmeet.com. Timestamps: Brooke joins us at around minute 13. Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . Thanks to this week’s partners: Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh Our Sponsors: * Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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3.9
out of 5
677 Ratings

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On Finding Mr. Height: The Podcast, dating & relationship coach Ali Jackson (@findingmrheight) brings you her positive and practical approach built from personal experience in the dating trenches. No matter where you are in your relationship journey, you’ll learn how to identify your needs, embrace your feelings, and directly communicate both. Ready to feel more authentic and grounded in your relationships and more joyful in your life overall? Tune in as Ali brings you relatable conversations with both expert guests and listeners just like you, peppering in her own personal insights along the way. Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any major podcast network. Find even more content from Ali on her Patreon, (https://www.patreon.com/findingmrheight) Instagram: @findingmrheight (https:// www.instagram.com/findingmrheight) TikTok: @findingmrheight (https://www.tiktok.com/ @findingmrheight)

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