The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

Dr Jordin Wiggins ND
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The Pleasure Principles Podcast is where sex, science and sensuality meet. Host, Dr. Jordin Wiggins, a Naturopathic Doctor, entrepreneur, women's sexual health disruptor and author of The Pink Canary, is on a mission to revolutionize the way we deliver, educate, and talk about sexual health, wellness, and pleasure for women.

  1. How Power Dynamics Shut Down Women's Desire and Vitality

    2D AGO

    How Power Dynamics Shut Down Women's Desire and Vitality

    Pleasure was never just about sex. It has always been about power. What is happening inside women's bodies, inside heterosexual relationships, and inside healthcare systems is not separate from what is happening culturally and globally. These dynamics mirror each other. The same power structures that silence women medically also shut down desire, libido, vitality, and connection in relationships. This conversation begins with a moment of violated personal space and opens into the deeper architecture beneath women's exhaustion and disconnection. When autonomy is restricted, and obedience is rewarded over truth and pleasure, pleasure cannot survive. Safety is not a feeling. It is a condition. Without it, the most sensitive systems shut down first. Women were never broken. The environment became unsafe. From medical gaslighting and delayed diagnoses to hormone fear-mongering and unequal care, women's bodies have been treated as exaggerated or secondary. These same patterns show up in relationships where emotional labor is expected, tolerance is praised, and desire is pathologized. When love becomes compliance, the nervous system learns that self-erasure is the price of belonging. Super traits like empathy, loyalty, responsibility, and resilience are not personality quirks. They are survival traits formed inside systems that rely on women overfunctioning. Over time, they cost women their health, joy, and sexual sovereignty. Pleasure requires choice. Choice requires autonomy. Autonomy only exists when power is shared or consciously given. Desire does not disappear randomly. The body speaks first. Libido loss, burnout, and numbness are not failures. They are information. For deeper clarity, you can also book a Super Trait Audit HERE. This is a private clarity session where we map how your super traits are eroding intimacy, identify shutdown patterns, and outline what would actually need to shift to move from high achiever to receiver. The Super Trait Audit is a one-hour diagnostic session designed to identify what is driving sexual shutdown, nervous system overload, and relational power imbalances. Grab a Super Trait Audit HERE:  If you want to understand your patterns first, take the Super Trait Quiz. -Ontario Residents can book a clinical appointment HERE. If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching. 1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]   CHAPTERS 00:00 When Men Invade Your Space 00:35 Misogyny at Home 01:04 Pleasure Is Political 04:04 Women's Health, Burnout & Medical Gaslighting 08:54 Libido Loss as a Warning Signal 12:11 Autonomy, Consent & Coercive Control 13:49 Reproductive Control  15:15 How Safety Shapes Desire 19:16 : "Good Girls" in Medicine, Marriage & Parenting 22:19 Coercive Relationships 26:02 Compliance vs Connection 27:25  The Bedroom Mirrors the World

    28 min
  2. Why Being Good at Relationships Leads to Emotional Burnout

    FEB 12

    Why Being Good at Relationships Leads to Emotional Burnout

    Many high-functioning women are successful in their careers and still struggle with intimacy, desire, and connection in their relationships. They feel distant, numb, over-responsible, and exhausted despite doing everything right. When you have super traits, responsibility, empathy, loyalty, and competence, you often become the over-functioner in relationships. You manage emotions. You do the invisible labor. You regulate connection. You perform intimacy instead of receiving it. Being good at sex or being good at relationships is not the same thing as being met. I explain why effort has never restored desire, why common sex therapy and relationship advice do not work for women with super traits, and how emotional labor and power dynamics quietly shut down libido, arousal, and presence even when hormones and labs look normal. These patterns show up as low desire, sexless marriages, feeling like roommates, replaying conversations, and struggling to stay present during sex. If you want to identify your super traits and understand how they are impacting your sex life, health, and relationships, take the Super Trait Quiz in the show notes. For deeper clarity, you can also book a Super Trait Audit HERE. This is a private clarity session where we map how your super traits are eroding intimacy, identify shutdown patterns, and outline what would actually need to shift to move from high achiever to receiver. The Super Trait Audit is a one-hour diagnostic session designed to identify what is driving sexual shutdown, nervous system overload, and relational power imbalances. Grab a Super Trait Audit HERE:  If you want to understand your patterns first, take the Super Trait Quiz. -Ontario Residents can book a clinical appointment HERE. If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching. 1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

    24 min
  3. The Labs I Run When Desire, Arousal, and Libido Shut Down

    FEB 5

    The Labs I Run When Desire, Arousal, and Libido Shut Down

    Most women are not fully enjoying the sex they are having. Low desire, arousal issues, pain with sex, numbness, difficulty reaching orgasm, and mismatched libidos are common, yet women are taught to blame themselves for them. We are told it is a hormone failure, a personality flaw, a lack of effort, or something we should accept as we age. We try harder. And when effort fails, shame fills the gap. More often than not, women are tracking the wrong data. Desire does not respond to productivity or effort. It responds to safety, capacity, and the body's internal environment. When the body does not feel safe or resourced, it will always prioritize survival over reproduction. When someone feels numb, disconnected, dry, distracted during sex, or that sex no longer feels good, there is no single lab that explains it. Sexual shutdown shows up as a pattern involving hormones, cortisol rhythm, thyroid function, nutrient status, inflammation, sleep, and nervous system load. Normal labs do not mean optimal. This pattern is most evident in women with super traits. High responsibility, high empathy, and emotional over-functioning quietly create chronic hypervigilance. Over time, pleasure shuts down. Nothing is wrong with you. Your body adapted to a life that did not allow you to be a receiver. Low libido is not a failure. Loss of pleasure is information. When you learn to read the data correctly, your body stops being the enemy and becomes your guide. If intimacy keeps breaking down and you are being told everything looks normal, stop guessing. Low desire is not a failure. It is a pattern. The Super Trait Audit is a one-hour diagnostic session designed to identify what is driving sexual shutdown, nervous system overload, and relational power imbalances. Grab a Super Trait Audit HERE:  If you want to understand your patterns first, take the Super Trait Quiz . -Ontario Residents can book a clinical appointment HERE. If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching. 1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

    23 min
  4. What Actually Improves Your Sex Drive When You're a High-Achiever

    JAN 29

    What Actually Improves Your Sex Drive When You're a High-Achiever

    Women with super traits know how to get shit done. They are hardworking, loyal, independent, and high-achieving. Some want better sex and a deeper connection and cannot figure out why it feels so hard. Others say they don't care about sex anymore, but what they're really saying is I don't feel met. I don't feel safe enough to erotically open. Desire didn't disappear. Effort replaced it. Survival crowds out sensation. Performance crowds out receptivity. Women with super traits are good at everything else. Careers. Parenting. Emotional intelligence. What they are not great at is sex, intimacy, and vulnerability. Being good at giving, pleasing, and performing is one-sided. If the effort worked, they would already feel deeply connected. Sex is not a drive. It's a reward system. When pleasure centers are off and receiving muscles are off, even when someone is trying to give, the body cannot receive. Presence is not a mindset. It is a nervous system state. When sex becomes something you manage, desire shuts down automatically. If you feel called out in a good way, attend the live workshop on February 5th, where we cover the three most common ways women with super traits erode intimacy and the three shifts required to restore desire. JOIN THE MASTERCLASS HERE For those ready for personalized clarity, you can also apply to work with me privately HERE. We map your super traits, erotic shutdown style, and relationship dynamics so you stop guessing and start changing the patterns that repeat in and out of the bedroom. APPLY HERE If you do not know your super traits yet, take the Super Trait Quiz to understand exactly how this is showing up for you. Why Smart & Successful Women Lose Themselves In Relationships (And why over-functioning and fixing desire never works), on February 5th at 12 PM Eastern and 9 AM Pacific. Register for the free masterclass. If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching. 1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]   CHAPTERS 00:45  Desire and Relationships 01:25 Presence in Intimacy 01:45 The Struggles of High Achievers in Sexual Intimacy 02:32 Effort vs. Connection 03:38 Pleasure-Centered Sex 05:46 Common Misconceptions Around Sex 06:45 Presence in Sexual Intimacy 09:18 The Shift from Performance to Pleasure-Centered Sex 11:13 Presence in Intimacy and Pleasure 15:00 High Achievers in Receiving Intimacy 27:46 The 3 Shifts to Improve Intimacy and Connection

    31 min
  5. Why Loss of Desire Has Nothing to Do With Libido

    JAN 22

    Why Loss of Desire Has Nothing to Do With Libido

    You do not lose desire. For women with super traits, desire does not disappear. It goes offline when you override yourself one too many times, and your body adapts because it knows it is not safe. We are taught that desire fades slowly. That it is stress, hormones, perimenopause, being busy, or having too much on your plate. In my clinical and coaching work, I see the opposite. Desire shuts down at very specific moments, but you are trained not to see them. If you are the fixer, the anchor, the emotional glue, the one people rely on when things fall apart, those are not flaws. Those are super traits. The same qualities that make you capable, reliable, and successful. In relationships, these traits often place you in inequitable dynamics where you are the over-functioner. Over time, your body learns that wanting more creates more work, not more connection. This is not a libido problem. It is not a hormone problem. It is a self-override problem. Desire shuts down when connection requires self-erasure. The body downregulates to conserve energy and stay safe. If you do not know your super traits yet, take the Super Trait Quiz to understand exactly how this is showing up for you. This work is being taught live and for FREE in a MASTERCLASS, Why Smart & Successful Women Lose Themselves In Relationships (And why over-functioning and fixing desire never works), on February 5th at 12 PM Eastern and 9 AM Pacific. Register for the free masterclass. If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching. 1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

    29 min
  6. Women With Super Traits Over Explain, People Please, and Lose Desire

    JAN 15

    Women With Super Traits Over Explain, People Please, and Lose Desire

    Over the Christmas break, I had several private clients reach out, and what I noticed was that the transformations had not been completed. The holidays brought up ruptures, disappointments, and old patterns at a time when most women were already running on fumes. The holidays come with extra expectations and very little capacity. Many women even get sick once their bodies finally feel safe enough to stop. That is not a coincidence. We hold an image of the holidays as cozy and connected. In reality, they often unearth everything we have been holding together all year. I found myself repeating the same thing to my clients. Stop over-explaining. Stop people pleasing. Get grounded before you act. If you are here, chances are you feel disconnected in your relationship. Some of you were disappointed by the holidays. Some of you went through separations. Some of you navigated the season alone. The common thread is being a woman with super traits who struggles to feel met, supported, and able to receive. This is a familiar loop. Still explaining. Still repairing. Still choosing words carefully. Still believing that if you say it the right way, it will finally land. That does not mean you are doing anything wrong. It means you have super traits. Women with super traits were never taught discernment. We were taught to fix, soften, reassure, and carry emotional labor. Not every accusation deserves a response. Not every misunderstanding needs a conversation. When we lose connection to ourselves, we start efforting in ways that do not work. Over time, desire shuts down. Health is affected. Intimacy becomes hollow. The traits that brought success elsewhere begin working against us in relationships. There is a LIVE Masterclass on February 5 that goes deeper into why women with super traits overfunction in relationships and what actually restores clarity, desire, and connection. Sign up for FREE HERE, and let's make this the year we stop overgiving and start recieving. PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure,  you don't have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you've built. [APPLY HERE] 1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins Take the free Super Trait Quiz to understand why these patterns show up so strongly during the holidays Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]   00:02:16 Understanding Super Traits and Relationship Dynamics 00:03:47 The Exhaustion of Over-Communicating 00:04:51 The Impact of Super Traits on Health and Desire 00:06:51 Navigating Emotional Labor and Intimacy 00:09:22 The Importance of Discernment in Relationships 00:12:02 Overexplaining in Relationships 00:16:37 Communication Problems

    22 min
  7. Why Communication Advice Fails Women Who Overgive in Relationships

    JAN 8

    Why Communication Advice Fails Women Who Overgive in Relationships

    Most relationship advice says relationships are healthy when you communicate. Be open. Share your feelings. Explain your needs. Take responsibility for your emotions. And all of this is true. But it catastrophically fails women with Super Traits. Not because they are bad communicators. Women with Super Traits are great communicators. But they communicate at the cost of themselves. At the cost of their self-trust. Their clarity. Their desire. Their turn on. Their self-respect. They soften, explain, repair, and try again, and leave conversations feeling more confused than when they entered. Women with Super Traits believe in connection. They believe in repair. They believe in hard work. So when something feels off, they communicate more. They clarify. They watch their tone. They adjust their ask. And instead of curiosity or validation, they get minimization, defensiveness, or the script flipped back onto them. So at the beginning of healing, women with Super Traits actually need to say less. Communicating less is not withdrawal. It is discernment. We speak less because the information gets used against us. Our vulnerability is reframed. The clarity we thought we had leads to confusion. We feel worse after trying to connect than before. This is why communication advice falls short. It does not work for women with Super Traits who over-function with under-functioners. A receiving woman lets silence do the work. Not sharper words. From that steadiness, clarity returns. Desire returns. Turn on returns. Trust in self returns.   Why Smart & Successful Women Lose Themselves In Relationships (And why over-functioning and fixing desire never works)  FREE MASTERCLASS FEBUARY 5th, 2025 at 12PM ET / 9AM PT JOIN HERE Take the free Super Trait Quiz to understand why these patterns show up so strongly during the holidays. Book a Super Trait Audit for clarity on where overfunctioning is costing you energy, connection, and desire. Apply for the Pleasure Centered Society if you are ready to stop carrying the emotional load and start being met.           00:00:00 The Communication Issue 00:00:37 The Iceberg of Communication 00:01:11 The Cost of Over-Communication 00:02:14 The Shift to Less Communication 00:03:02 The Journey to Self-Respect 00:03:50 Understanding Super Traits 00:06:33 The Pattern of Ovegiving 00:09:38 The Importance of Saying Less 100:1:34 The Pleasure Centered Society 00:15:55 From High Achiever to Receiver

    18 min
  8. This is Your Year to Start Receiving Instead of People-Pleasing

    JAN 1

    This is Your Year to Start Receiving Instead of People-Pleasing

    Happy New Year. For women with super traits, there is often a quiet exhaustion underneath the hope and desire for more. You have done everything right, and something still is not working. If pleasure, desire, and connection disappear the moment stress enters your relationships, this explains why. This is not a personal failure or lack of effort. It is a body-level adaptation. Women with super traits were conditioned to maintain connection through over-giving, emotional labor, fixing, and absorbing discomfort so others did not have to. When tension appears, the nervous system shifts into management mode, and pleasure shuts down automatically. This is the second part of my work, which offers clarity around why reconnecting to desire is not enough and why trying harder only deepens the pattern. The issue is not communication, effort, or commitment. The belief is that love must be earned through contribution. It's time to introduce the RECEIVER IDENTITY. A receiver can say no without guilt, allow disappointment, and stay connected to her desire even under pressure. Receiving is not passive or selfish. It is a regulated authority. Transformation begins with deconditioning the reflex to overfunction. Identifying the patterns that tie connection to self-abandonment and learning how to stay present, grounded, and receptive when stress arises. This is the year of doing less with intention. This is the year of receiving.   Take the free Super Trait Quiz to understand why these patterns show up so strongly during the holidays. Book a Super Trait Audit for clarity on where overfunctioning is costing you energy, connection, and desire. Apply for the Pleasure Centered Society if you are ready to stop carrying the emotional load and start being met.     00:00:00 Introduction and New Year Reflections 00:00:47 Transformations and Challenges 00:04:56 Understanding Super Traits 00:08:13 The Pleasure Problem 00:13:35  Receiver Identity 00:18:02 The Path to True Pleasure and Connection 00:24:47  Restoring Pleasure

    16 min
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The Pleasure Principles Podcast is where sex, science and sensuality meet. Host, Dr. Jordin Wiggins, a Naturopathic Doctor, entrepreneur, women's sexual health disruptor and author of The Pink Canary, is on a mission to revolutionize the way we deliver, educate, and talk about sexual health, wellness, and pleasure for women.

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