Black Girl Burnout

Kelley Bonner

Black Girl Burnout is a podcast about burnout, ambition, care, and what it actually takes to build a life that feels good to live—not just impressive from the outside.  Hosted by Kelley Bonner, the show explores how burnout takes hold, why ambition doesn’t need to be abandoned but redesigned, and how joy, rest, and gentleness can coexist with meaningful work and forward movement. Through reflection, practical insight, and carefully chosen conversations, Black Girl Burnout offers both grounding and direction, helping listeners feel seen and take action toward lives that are sustainable, intentional, and their own.

  1. 4d ago

    You Don't Have to Go to War

    Kelley names three wars she believes so many Black women are fighting right now, wars we've been mislabeling as something else entirely. In this solo episode, she unpacks the war with ourselves (that we call self-improvement), the war with our community (that we call accountability), and the war with the world (that we call activism), and makes the case for stepping out of all three and choosing peace instead. Key TakeawaysThe war with yourself often gets mislabeled as self-improvement. Urgency, self-punishment, and arbitrary deadlines aren't growth, they're just a fight with yourself in disguise.The war with community often gets mislabeled as accountability. There's a real difference between holding someone accountable and piling on. Call people in before you cut them off, and hold boundaries with love, not cruelty.The war with the world often gets mislabeled as activism. Anger alone isn't activism. Real change comes from being steady and grounded, not embattled.You can't fight three wars at once and survive it. Noticing which battle you're actually in is the first step to choosing peace instead.Episode Highlights & Timestamps03:00 The first war: mistaking self-punishment for self-improvement 07:00 The second war: when accountability turns into pile-on culture and cruelty 14:00 Calling people in instead of cutting them off, and holding boundaries with love 16:00 The third war: confusing anger with activism 18:00 Three questions to ask yourself before you go to war Gentle InvitationThis week, notice which war you're in, with yourself, with your community, or with the world. Ask yourself: is this actually a battle I need to be in, or one I wandered into? You don't have to win it today. Just notice it's there. Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout. Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout. Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops. Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  2. Sep 2

    Before You "Lock In", Check In

    It's September, and Kelley wants you to pause before you "lock in." This solo episode challenges lock-in culture, the cultural pressure to suddenly get disciplined, finish the year strong, and fix your whole life in three months. Kelley shares her own cautionary tale of what years of pushing through cost her health, then walks through a gentler four-step framework for having real goals without declaring war on yourself. Key TakeawaysLock-in syndrome sounds motivating, but it usually runs on shame, the assumption that you're behind, undisciplined, or broken and need to be fixed by December 31st.September 1st isn't magic. There's nothing wrong with ambition, but arbitrary deadlines and 75-day challenges often create false urgency instead of real progress.Sometimes the most honest answer isn't to lock in harder, it's to ask whether you even need to optimize right now, or whether you just need to rest.The Gentle Lock-In Framework has four steps: check in, use discernment, choose, and gently commit.Episode Highlights & Timestamps02:00 What lock-in syndrome is, and the real cost of ignoring how you actually feel 05:00 Kelley's own cautionary tale: what years of "locking in" cost her health 12:00 Do you even need to optimize? Toxic self-care vs. toxic self-improvement 16:00 Redefining "locking in": the four-step gentle framework 19:00 What Kelley's own lock-in looks like this season (a "75 extra soft") Gentle InvitationBefore you set any goals this month, stop and ask yourself: how am I actually doing? Not what you should be doing, not what everyone else is doing, but what's actually true in your body, your mind, and your spirit right now. Choose one thing, a few things, or nothing at all. And whatever you choose, commit to it gently. Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout. Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout. Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops. Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  3. Aug 25

    Chloe Nwangwu, Brand Scientist: Curiosity, Curation, and Confidence

    Kelley sits down with N. Chloé Nwangwu, keynote speaker, principal investigator at Nobiworks, and known as The Brand Scientist, for a conversation about the real difference between going viral and being truly visible. Chloé breaks down two decades of research into the science of visibility, from her early career in international conflict mediation to the framework she now teaches leaders, brands, and Black women specifically on how recognition actually works, and why the usual advice to "just show up more" isn't enough. Key TakeawaysRecognition is the invisible currency of influence. Without it, you don't have access to shaping the beliefs, judgments, and decisions of the people around you.Being seen isn't the same as being remembered, and being remembered isn't the same as being recognized. Chloé's "Three Rs of Visibility", represented, remembered, recognized, explain why some ideas stick and others get filtered out.Visibility bias creates a real invisibility tax. The "reciprocity gap" means under-recognized people often have to give more and get less back for the same effort as their peers.Lasting visibility isn't luck, it's an ecosystem. Building a platform, a real "circle of recognition" (not just a follower count), and decision architecture is what actually moves people.Episode Highlights & Timestamps05:00 From conflict mediation to Brand Scientist: the through-line Chloé didn't see coming 14:00 Recognition as the invisible currency of influence: who gets the seat at the table, and why 18:00 The Three Rs of Visibility: represented, remembered, recognized 32:00 Under-recognition, visibility bias, and the invisibility tax 43:00 Building an ecosystem of influence: platform, circle of recognition, and decision architecture Gentle InvitationThis week, notice one input you let into your life on autopilot, a feed, a follow, an opinion you didn't choose. Ask yourself: who does this benefit? Do I want to play along? Choose one small act of curation. Unfollow one account, mute one feed, protect one hour. Not everything. Just one thing. Connect with Chloé NwangwuFind Chloé on LinkedIn, where she shares her nerdiest, most in-depth work She also offers a free recognition assessment that tells you where you stand and gives you your next best step Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout. Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout. Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops. Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  4. Aug 19

    Joy Economics: Shani Godwin on Ending Over-Functioning & Choosing Joy on Your Own Terms

    Joy Economics: Shani Godwin on Ending Over-Functioning & Choosing Joy on Your Own Terms Kelley sits down with Shani Godwin, writer, entrepreneur, and creator of the concept of Joy Economics, for a conversation that started with a line from her viral Oprah Magazine piece: "Black girl magic isn't magic, it's normalized over-functioning." Shani opens up about the mental health crisis that changed her life at 30, the 3 a.m. breakdown that made her rethink what success actually costs, and the practice she now teaches to help Black women build lives and businesses around joy instead of around proving they can carry it all. Key TakeawaysBlack girl magic isn't magic, it's normalized over-functioning. Making the hard things look effortless comes with an invisible tax, and the more we achieve, the heavier that tax gets.Being "strong" isn't always the answer. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for each other is stop saying "you got this" and instead just show up, sit in it, and let someone be broken for a moment.Joy Economics means building your life and business around what actually brings you joy, not around growth for growth's sake. Profit and freedom over vanity metrics; joy in the journey, not just the destination.Episode Highlights & Timestamps2:00 — Where "Black girl magic isn't magic, it's normalized over-functioning" came from 10:00 — Shani's mental health crisis at 30, and the 20-year journey that followed 27:00 — What Joy Economics actually is 37:00 — Practical first steps: radical honesty with yourself, and learning where joy lives in your body 53:00 — What brings Shani joy day to day, and how she protects it Gentle InvitationThis week, notice a moment when you feel genuinely good, when your shoulders drop, you laugh, or you feel peaceful. Don't rush past it. Ask yourself: what does joy actually feel like in my body? Not what should make you happy, or what looks successful, what does it actually feel like? Joy doesn't only belong after you've made it. It belongs in the life that's already happening now. Connect with Shani GodwinWebsite: shanigodwin.com Instagram: @iamshanigodwin Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout. Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout. Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review — your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops. Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  5. Aug 12

    The Body Is Not an Apology: Sonya Renee Taylor on Radical Self-Love & Letting Go of Shame (REPLAY)

    Kelley sits down with Sonya Renee Taylor, author of The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love, for a conversation Kelley calls essential reading for every Black woman. They trace the phrase's origin story, unpack what body shame really is beneath the physical, and walk through Sonya's roadmap for opting out of shame and into radical self-love: mapping your way out of shame, the four pillars of practice, and why community and self-compassion are what actually make the work sustainable. Key TakeawaysBody shame isn't only physical. It shows up as shame around our needs, our emotions, our voice, and how much space we let ourselves take up. The physical body is just where 90% of the conversation gets stuck. Opting out of shame starts with three peace treaties: making peace with not understanding, making peace with difference, and making peace with our bodies, in that order.Radical self-love isn't something you build, it's your default state. The four pillars (taking out the toxic, mind matters, unapologetic action, collective compassion) are about removing what's been layered on top, not adding something new.Episode Highlights & Timestamps02:00 - Where the phrase "the body is not an apology" came from 08:00 - What body shame really means, beyond the physical 13:00 - Mapping your way out of shame: the three-step framework 20:00 - Making peace with our bodies as "currency" 29:00 - The four pillars of a radical self-love practice 55:00 - Where to connect with Sonya Renee Taylor Gentle InvitationThis week, notice one place you apologize for taking up space, in your body, your voice, your needs, or your wants. You don't have to fix it. Just notice it, and see if you can meet it with the same grace Sonya describes: "It's okay. I love you, just as you are." Choose one small, unapologetic action. Not ten. Just one. Let that be enough for now. Connect with Sonya Renee TaylorInstagram: @SonyaReneeTaylor Patreon: Sonya Renee Taylor Website: sonyareneetaylor.com Book: The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout. Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout. Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review — your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops. Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  6. Aug 5

    Stop Waiting for Your Life to Begin: Why Permission Is More Powerful Than Productivity

    We're on hiatus, but Kelley couldn't let August start without checking in. In this solo episode, she talks about why this month feels less about goal-crushing and more about giving herself permission, to have fun, to earn what she's worth, and to be brave, vulnerable, and visible. From booking concert tickets before she "earned" them to rehabbing the Substack membership, this is a conversation about scheduling joy instead of waiting for it, and about what's coming next for Black Girl Burnout. Key TakeawaysWaiting for permission is its own kind of emotional death sentence. So many of us live in an invisible waiting room, we've done the courses, read the books, listened to the podcasts, but still wait for the "right time" to actually live differently. Joy is scheduled, not earned. Kelley bought concert tickets to see Olivia Dean months in advance as a reminder that delight doesn't have to be a reward for finishing a task, it can be planned for.Worthiness shows up in money and visibility too. Giving yourself permission isn't just emotional, it's charging what you're worth, unlearning inherited scarcity stories, and being willing to be seen.Episode Highlights & Timestamps00:00:00 -Welcome back: why Kelley couldn't let August start without a hiatus check-in 02:00 - The invisible waiting room: why so many of us know what to do but haven't stepped through the door 05:19 - Permission #1: More fun: scheduling joy on purpose (hello, Olivia Dean tickets) instead of waiting for it to drop in your lap 08:04 - Permission #2: More money: worthiness, unlearning scarcity stories, and separating guilt from what you charge 11:04 - Permission #3: Bravery, vulnerability & visibility: showing up more on social, and what's coming with the Substack membership rehab and the first digital magazine 15:07 - The bigger invitation: what could August become if you stopped waiting and started participating in your own life? 17:30 - Outro: catalog picks to revisit on hiatus, including the Michelle Young, Sonia Renee Taylor, and Morgan Harper Nichols interviews Gentle InvitationThis week, notice where you're waiting for permission you could just give yourself. What are you telling yourself you'll do "when", when you lose the weight, when you have more money, when someone else validates the idea? What would it look like to do it now, in one small way? Choose one micro-permission. Not ten. Just one. Schedule the joy, send the pitch, post the thing. Let that be enough for now. Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout. Thank you for being part of this community. Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout. Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley, including a first look at the digital magazine and the rehabbed membership community. Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month, the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life. Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  7. Jul 29

    Strength & Softness: Michelle Goodloe on Burnout Recovery for Black Women (REPLAY)

    In this thoughtful conversation, Kelley sits down with licensed clinical social worker Michelle Goodloe to explore what burnout really is—and why so many Black women experience it differently. Michelle shares her personal journey through professional burnout, explains why self-care alone isn't enough to recover, and offers a compassionate framework for rebuilding a healthier relationship with yourself through boundaries, restorative self-care, and intentional slowing down. Together, they unpack the Strong Black Woman stereotype, capitalism fatigue, identity beyond work, and why healing begins with giving yourself permission to become more than what the world expects of you. The episode is both validating and practical, offering listeners tangible first steps toward burnout recovery and a more joyful, sustainable life. Key TakeawaysBurnout develops over time—and recovery does too. Healing begins by slowing down, identifying what's contributing to burnout, and taking small, sustainable steps toward rest.Boundaries are an act of self-respect. Healthy boundaries protect your time, energy, and joy while teaching others how to have healthy relationships with you.Black women deserve identities beyond "strong." You have permission to redefine strength to include rest, softness, vulnerability, and self-compassion.Episode Highlights & Timestamps00:02 – Michelle's personal burnout story Michelle shares how professional burnout transformed both her life and the work she does today. 09:00 – What burnout actually is A powerful conversation on how burnout develops over time, the role of capitalism fatigue, and recognizing the signs before your body forces you to stop. 16:30 – Beyond the Strong Black Woman stereotype Michelle and Kelley unpack how inherited expectations around strength contribute to burnout and how Black women can redefine what strength means for themselves. 29:00 – Boundaries protect your joy Michelle shares practical boundary-setting strategies—including her "Yes, No, Yes" framework—and explains why protecting your time is essential for burnout recovery. A Gentle InvitationThis week, ask yourself one simple question: "What would help me go from a 10 to a 9?" Instead of trying to overhaul your life, choose one small way to slow down—reschedule one task, say no to one request, or create one boundary that protects your time. Burnout recovery isn't about changing everything overnight; it's about consistently choosing yourself, one step at a time. Connect with MichelleG. Michelle Goodloe, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker, burnout recovery strategist, and founder of Gmichelle Wellness. Through her therapy-informed approach, Michelle helps exhausted professionals—especially Black women and helping professionals—recover from burnout, unlearn toxic productivity, and build sustainable self-care practices rooted in compassion and rest. Website: Gmichelle Wellness Instagram: @thegmichelle (https://www.instagram.com/thegmichelle) Books & Guided JournalsThe Self-Care Investment: Your Guide to Making Your Self-Care Non-Negotiable – A practical workbook filled with guided exercises, self-care trackers, and reflective activities to help you build a personalized, sustainable self-care practice.Purchase: The Self-Care InvestmentI Own My Magic: Self-Talk for Black Women – An affirmation and self-reflection journal designed to help Black women strengthen self-esteem, practice self-compassion, and embrace their softness.Purchase: I Own My MagicSelf Explore, Self Restore – A guided self-care journal with thoughtful prompts to help you reconnect with yourself, reduce stress, and make self-care a consistent part of everyday life.Purchase: Self Explore, Self RestoreSupport the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout. Thank you for being part of this community. Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout. Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review — your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops. Our SponsorsAdvertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  8. Jul 22

    When Your Body Changes the Plan: Michelle Young on Chronic Illness, Rest & Redefining Success

    Michelle Young joins Kelley for an honest conversation about what happens when life changes in ways you never expected. From navigating sudden public attention after The Bachelor and The Bachelorette to living with POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), Michelle shares how she's learned to redefine strength, embrace rest, and let go of the belief that productivity determines worth. Together, they explore burnout, chronic illness, boundaries, activism, community, and the courage to build a gentler life. Michelle also reflects on finding new purpose through her foundation, supporting underserved students, and discovering that slowing down doesn't mean giving up—it creates space to live with greater intention, joy, and authenticity. Key TakeawaysRest is not something you earn—it's essential to healing. True strength isn't always pushing through; sometimes it's leaving a little energy in the tank.Your worth isn't measured by your productivity. Healing often requires redefining success and learning that who you are matters more than what you accomplish.A meaningful life is built through intentional choices. Whether it's protecting your energy, setting boundaries, or nurturing relationships, small daily decisions create lasting change.Episode Highlights & Timestamps 00:00 – When life changes overnight: Michelle reflects on staying grounded through sudden fame, remaining true to herself, and navigating life in the public eye. 17:45 – Living with POTS and redefining strength: Michelle explains POTS, shares how chronic illness transformed her relationship with rest, and why pushing through is no longer the goal. 33:20 – Finding purpose after burnout: Michelle discusses building her foundation, discovering a new way to make an impact, and embracing seasons where purpose evolves instead of disappears. 49:30 – Leaving a little energy in the tank: Michelle and Kelley explore what it means to measure success differently, embrace intentional living, and find joy in slowing down. See You SoonLeave a Little Energy in the Tank This week, notice where you're treating exhaustion as proof that you've done enough. Instead of giving every ounce of yourself away, experiment with ending one day with a little energy left. Rest before you're depleted, be fully present with someone you love, and remember that your value isn't determined by how much you produce—it's already yours. Connect with MichelleMichelle Young is a former elementary school teacher, television personality, and fan favorite from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Today, she continues her work as an educator, speaker, and advocate, using her platform to expand opportunities for young people and support communities through education-focused initiatives. Website: https://michelleyoungofficial.com Instagram: @michelleyoung TikTok: @michelleyoung The Michelle Young FoundationThe Michelle Young Foundation: https://www.themichelleyoungfoundation.org Through The Michelle Young Foundation, Michelle partners with educators and school districts to connect underserved students with scholarships, enrichment opportunities, and after-school programming like Homework and Hoops. The foundation is dedicated to helping students access experiences that foster growth while supporting the educators who champion them every day. Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout. Thank you for being part of this community. Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout. Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review — your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops. Our SponsorsAdvertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

4.7
out of 5
783 Ratings

About

Black Girl Burnout is a podcast about burnout, ambition, care, and what it actually takes to build a life that feels good to live—not just impressive from the outside.  Hosted by Kelley Bonner, the show explores how burnout takes hold, why ambition doesn’t need to be abandoned but redesigned, and how joy, rest, and gentleness can coexist with meaningful work and forward movement. Through reflection, practical insight, and carefully chosen conversations, Black Girl Burnout offers both grounding and direction, helping listeners feel seen and take action toward lives that are sustainable, intentional, and their own.

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