Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Cathy Chen
  • 4.5 (11)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You brings you candid conversations with experts in psychology, education, and college admissions — so you can better understand your teen and help them thrive. Hosts Cathy Chen and Meredith Herrera have coached thousands of teens and families, and they’re here to make this whole “parenting a teenager” thing a little easier. (Or at least, less bewildering.) Because parenting is hard AF. 

  1. 3d ago

    How to Help Teens Thrive This Summer: Independence, Purpose, and Healthy Boundaries

    In this season finale, Cathy and Meredith wrap up season five by reflecting on what they're looking forward to this summer and sharing their hopes for families navigating the months ahead with teens. Drawing on stories from their own childhoods, they discuss the value of boredom, unstructured time, and opportunities for kids to build independence, creativity, and responsibility. They explore why meaningful work, manual labor, and experiences that broaden a teen's perspective can be so formative during adolescence. The conversation also offers practical ideas for parents, from doing things alongside their children to bringing them into the rhythms and responsibilities of everyday adult life. Cathy and Meredith also stress the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries on screen time and social media and remind parents to make room for rest, reconnection, and the kind of growth that happens when kids are given both purpose and space to thrive. Thanks for tuning in!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] The last episode of season five! [0:02:40] What Cathy and Meredith are looking forward to this summer. [0:05:07] Their hope for how summer shapes up for families with kids. [0:06:45] What they used to do when we were bored as kids. [0:09:50] A reminder to do something alongside your children during summer. [0:11:45] Why they are big believers in adolescents doing manual labor and serving a purpose outside of themselves. [0:15:45] The importance for kids to get proximate to difference. [0:17:20] The value of working on independence over summer. [0:18:30] Pressing into unstructured time to boost imagination, creativity, and reset the body. [0:19:00] Let them (the teenagers) rest. [0:20:40] Why parents shouldn’t relax restrictions around screen time and social media. [0:23:55] Bringing your kids to work with you. [0:25:00] Final thoughts from Cathy and Meredith on summer and season five. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Brian Stevenson Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    26 min

  2. May 27

    Teen Mental Health, AI, and College Admissions: Trends Parents Should Watch

    What changed for teenagers this year, and what should parents be paying closer attention to? In this episode, Cathy and Meredith take a look at the trends they have been noticing across teens, schools, technology, and college admissions. Cathy and Meredith discuss how AI is affecting the way students learn, where students still need support, and why parents need to educate themselves on AI. They unpack the effects of social media and screen time on attention, critical thinking, and maturity, while also highlighting the entrepreneurial spirit and confidence they see in many teens today. They also delve into the uncertain future of liberal arts education, growing concerns about career preparedness, the cost of college, and the ways changing admissions practices are creating new stress for students and families. To find out what today’s teens are navigating and how parents can better understand the pressures impacting their teens, tune in now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:00] Why Cathy and Meredith are talking about the biggest teen trends of the year. [0:02:12] Learn how teens are using AI as a unique and effective study tool. [0:03:12] Discover the risks of giving teens access to AI without boundaries. [0:06:20] Find out how handwriting, note-taking, and study skills are changing. [0:08:36] Examine why today’s teens may have a lower ability for critical thinking. [0:10:09] Understand how social media is reshaping attention, reading, and free time. [0:12:19] Unpack the confidence and entrepreneurial energy many teens display. [0:13:17] Explore why liberal arts education is facing an uncertain future. [0:15:25] Hear why students are more focused on jobs, money, and practical majors. [0:18:30] Overview of the admissions issues affecting deadlines and waitlists. [0:20:00] What the future looks like for colleges and admission processes.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Dr. Devorah Heitner Growing Up in Public The New York Times Episode 142: The Kids Are Alright: Good News About Today's Teens Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    22 min

  3. May 13

    The Kids Are Alright: Good News About Today's Teens

    Are today’s teenagers really as disconnected, anxious, and screen-addicted as the headlines make them seem? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith take a more hopeful look at what is going well with this generation and why the kids really are alright. They discuss declining rates of risky behavior, the ways young people are becoming more open about mental health, and how today’s teens are often more comfortable talking about identity, inclusion, and social responsibility. They also explore how teenagers today are often more connected to their parents, more willing to have real conversations, and more interested in making a difference than simply chasing money or status. Tune in for an encouraging conversation about why parents, educators, and anyone working with teenagers should pause to notice what is working, and remember that there is still plenty of hope for the future. Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:25] The motivation behind today’s topic: what is going well with teens today. [0:03:03] How risky behaviors like drinking, drug use, sex, and teen pregnancy have declined. [0:06:01] Hear how teens are more open about mental health and learning differences. [0:06:43] Find out how teens are more aware of identity and inclusion. [0:08:13] Understand how young people see justice, equity, and accessibility. [0:09:24] Discover why teens see fewer barriers to investing and business. [0:10:34] Explore how the internet has helped teens find and create opportunities. [0:11:05] Learn why community engagement is common for many teens. [0:12:34] Unpack why teens today are closer to their parents. [0:14:58] Simple actions for parents to highlight their teen’s positive behaviour. [0:16:20] Uncover how college pressure can make parents overlook what is going well. [0:17:36] Why Cathy and Meredith feel hopeful about today’s teenagers. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    20 min

  4. May 6

    Behind the Scenes of the Summer College Essay Intensive

    One of the biggest parts of the college application process is the personal statement, and it has the potential to cause the most amount of stress for students! Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are giving you a behind-the-scenes look into our Summer College Essay Intensive. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about why the stakes are high for this assignment, why we have decided to do a workshop to support students with their essays, what the workshop entails, and so much more! We delve into why we get students to look at case studies before breaking down the different ways Meredith and Cathy approach college essays and how they make such a great team. We even touch on the importance of making this essay personal and how we help the students make it unique. Finally, we explain why we make our students revise their essays multiple times until they’re strong personal statements that will help them get into college. To hear all this and find out how to join the workshop, be sure to press play now!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:22] Today’s topic: Insight into the Summer College Essay Intensive. [0:03:40] Why we do a workshop for kids to help them with essay writing. [0:06:59] Breaking down the structure of this workshop from days one to four. [0:10:34] How we help the students come up with a topic and why it’s difficult. [0:16:00] Why Meredith and Cathy are the ‘Yin and Yang’ of college essay writing. [0:18:50] The importance of making this statement deeply personal. [0:23:36] Why the strength in essays comes out through repetition. [0:28:23] How to enroll your kids in the workshop.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Summer College Essay Intensive Email us: hello@wespeakteen.com  Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    29 min

  5. Apr 29

    How to Build Self-Worth in Teens: Parenting Beyond Self-Esteem, People-Pleasing & Perfectionism

    We’re told to pump up teens’ self-esteem—but that stuff is flimsy, more like a quick dopamine snack than a solid meal. One bad grade or missed hangout and poof, it’s gone. What actually sticks? Self-worth—the quiet, stubborn belief that they matter no matter what. Join Meredith and Cathy on today’s episode as they dig into managing a child who doesn’t seem to like themselves. They look at the difference between self-esteem and self-worth, unpack the signs of a child with an underdeveloped sense of self-worth, and share examples of how people-pleasing behaviors show up in adolescence. They also examine how well-meaning parenting can accidentally reinforce low self-worth and share thoughtful ways to help kids develop self-worth that holds steady through life’s ups and downs. Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] Introduction and welcome to another episode! [0:01:30] A thought exercise to kick off today’s topic. [0:02:40] Today’s focus: managing a child with low self-esteem. [0:03:45] The difference between self-esteem and self-worth. [0:06:50] Signs that a child has an underdeveloped sense of self-worth. [0:11:30] How people-pleasing behaviors can show up in adolescence. [0:13:45] Examples of parental participation that reinforce low self-worth. [0:19:25] Praising your child for who they are (not what they did/do). [0:20:00] What parents can do to build self-worth. [0:27:50] The importance of paying close attention to your child’s temperament. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Mental Health Red Flags (Episode with Cristina Perez) Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    29 min

  6. Apr 22

    What Makes a Good Student (Hint: It’s Not Just Grades)

    What is the difference between a good student and a good learner? Or are they the same thing? Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith unpack an article from the Harvard Gazette titled ‘What makes a good student’ and share their take on it. They explain that it’s not just about grades—especially with grade inflation—but about things like curiosity, integrity, and being open to different ideas. They also explore how integrity can look different in high school versus college, the importance of engaging with all the different aspects of your college experience, and what schools are really looking for in a student. They emphasize that a good learner is someone who takes risks, asks the right questions (and keeps asking them), and is someone who truly wants to understand more. The main takeaway is that real learning isn’t about perfect notes or staying busy; it’s about being engaged, thinking deeply, and genuinely wanting to grow.  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:49] Today’s topic of conversation: what makes a good student. [0:01:12] Why it’s important we talk about this. [0:02:20] Our thoughts on why integrity matters (and the reality of it). [0:04:45] Entering college without understanding what a college professor counts as cheating. [0:05:04] The importance of minding all the different parts of your college experience. [0:06:10] A key distinction between a good student and a good learner. [0:10:15] Cathy and Meredith share practical tips to inspire intellectual curiosity. [0:13:00] Why students should ask the right questions (on repeat!) [0:14:30] A willingness to engage with perspectives that aren’t the same as yours. [0:18:10] Confusing busyness with learning. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: ‘What makes a good student’ Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    19 min

  7. Apr 15

    Why Teens Reject Colleges for the Wrong Reasons (College List Tips for Parents)

    Did one awkward tour guide just cancel four years of opportunity? Is “The vibe was off” a valid reason not to apply? If you need some tips on navigating reasons your kids are ruling out colleges, then today’s episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You is for you! Join Cathy and Meredith as they talk listeners through the reality of the college process, the teenage brain, and ultimately, a list of (for lack of a truly better word) dumba** reasons kids give for not wanting to apply to certain colleges! They share practical advice on how to combat these reasons and highlight truths every student needs to hear as they navigate the journey to college. Thanks for tuning in!   Key Points From This Episode:   [0:00:45] Today’s hot topic: Dumba** reasons kids give for not liking a college. [0:02:16] The reality of the college process. [0:02:40] Dumba** reasons NOT to cut a school from your list. [0:07:30] The teenage brain: the importance of fitting in. [0:07:50] More dumba** reason for not liking colleges. [0:10:18] Combatting the duma**ery: prove it. [0:14:15] Reminding your students that college is (actually) school. [0:15:15] Asking kids to be rigorous when they’re evaluating colleges. [0:17:20] A peek into the frustrations of the teenage mind. [0:17:30] The big one: high school sweethearts. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: College Visits 101: Essential Tips & Do's/Don'ts for Parents and Teens Are College Visits Necessary? The Real Impact of Campus Tours on College Choice Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    18 min

  8. Apr 8

    Extracurricular Activities for College: Simple Passion Projects That Help Teens Stand Out

    Teenagers often overcomplicate the activities they participate in to impress colleges when, in reality, they can find something simple and meaningful that could be just as impressive, and in the process, they may actually discover a true passion. In this conversation, you’ll hear some real-life examples of a few of the interesting and ‘out-of-the-box’ things our students have done that they are passionate about and are compelling to colleges. From selling drawings of people’s pets for charity to helping a former teacher’s sister navigate ALS using technology, these examples are fascinating and inspirational! We even touch on a few activities our students have tried and failed at. Finally, we talk about purposeful and engaging things Cathy and Meredith are doing in their personal lives at the moment. You don’t want to miss this one, so be sure to tune in now!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:19] Today’s topic: unique things teenagers are doing that are compelling to colleges.  [0:04:01] Some real-life examples of cool things teens we know are passionate about.  [0:14:06] A failed activity a student tried and how she overcame that obstacle. [0:16:17] Purposeful and engaging things we are doing in our own lives. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: College Visits 101: Essential Tips & Do’s/Don’ts for Parents and Teens Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    20 min
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Ratings & Reviews

4.5
out of 5
11 Ratings

About

Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You brings you candid conversations with experts in psychology, education, and college admissions — so you can better understand your teen and help them thrive. Hosts Cathy Chen and Meredith Herrera have coached thousands of teens and families, and they’re here to make this whole “parenting a teenager” thing a little easier. (Or at least, less bewildering.) Because parenting is hard AF. 

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