Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Cathy Chen
  • 4.5 (10)
  • PARENTING
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You brings you candid conversations with experts in psychology, education, and college admissions — so you can better understand your teen and help them thrive. Hosts Cathy Chen and Meredith Herrera have coached thousands of teens and families, and they’re here to make this whole “parenting a teenager” thing a little easier. (Or at least, less bewildering.) Because parenting is hard AF. 

  1. 1D AGO

    College Decisions Are In: What to Do After Acceptance, Rejection, or Waitlists

    Your kid has finally received their decision letters from colleges, but now what? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith unpack the steps that follow after your kid gets into college and the protocols that parents should take into consideration. They delve into the various outcomes of college admissions, including acceptance, denial, waitlisting, and alternative options like spring admission or a year abroad. They explore how trends in enrolment management impact admissions, the steps that follow after receiving admission offers, and what aspects to consider when comparing schools. Cathy and Meredith also break down what waitlists really mean, when an appeal is worth it, and how colleges shift into “courting mode” once a student is admitted. They discuss why students should prioritize finding a place that feels like home and aligns with their personal and academic goals, how parents can communicate their expectations effectively without imposing their opinions, and how to help your kid navigate rejection and celebrate wins. Tune in now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:00] Introduction and outline of today’s topic. [0:01:48] Learn about the various outcomes of a college application. [0:03:22] Hear why colleges offer spring admits and year-abroad programs. [0:05:05] Explore the concept of ‘summer melt’ and how college waitlists work. [0:08:50] Find out how likely it is to get your kid off the waitlist. [0:09:49] Whether to appeal a decision after a denial. [0:11:17] How to pick the right school and the actual deadline for making a decision. [0:15:28] What aspects to focus on when deciding between similar options. [0:20:19] Advice for parents on how to support your kids through wins and disappointments. [0:26:48] Understand why it is important to celebrate wins with discretion.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    28 min

  2. MAR 4

    Highly Selective College Admissions: How B’s and C’s Impact Your Chances

    In this episode, Cathy and Meredith deliver a polite but unmistakable reality check: in the realm of highly selective college admissions, a couple of B’s — and especially a few C’s — are not simply “character building.” At institutions with acceptance rates in the low single digits, those grades can subtly move an application out of serious contention. In this arena, near-perfect academic performance isn’t a gold star — it’s the price of entry. That said, a disappointing grade is not the end of the story — it may simply redirect it. Join the conversation as they explore what a “bad” grade really means, the importance of thoughtful course selection and realistic calibration, and why a child’s self-worth should never be tethered to a transcript. Thanks for listening in! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:45] The topic for today’s episode: can you come back from a bad grade? [0:02:50] What a bad grade means for a highly selective college admission. [0:05:30] Why you can’t pull your kid out and repeat the year somewhere else. [0:05:55] The asterisk: a transformational life event. [0:08:30] Calibration and course selection. [0:09:20] A positive note: there are a lot of non-selective, great schools in the US. [0:10:00] The comeback: Cathy unpacks how to come back from a bad grade. [0:12:00] Why we shouldn’t attach self-worth to the grade our children get. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    13 min

  3. FEB 25

    Executive Function Coaching for Parents: How to Stop Procrastination in Kids

    Helping kids build motivation and overcome procrastination is one of the hardest things we teach as executive function coaches, and that you need to teach as a parent! It’s a delicate balance of guidance, patience, and strategy. In this episode, we dive into the complexities of coaching executive function, exploring why teaching skills alone isn’t enough to inspire real change. From navigating resistance and introducing consequences effectively to knowing when stepping back is the most empowering move, we break down practical approaches that actually work. Whether your child struggles with habits, motivation, or following through, this conversation offers insights and actionable strategies to support their growth without frustration. Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:54] Why coaching executive function is about more than teaching skills. [0:04:55] The real challenge of convincing a kid to change their habits. [0:07:50] What to do when your child is unwilling to make a change.  [0:10:14] Why sometimes being ‘hands off’ with your child is the most empowering thing you can do for them. [0:13:22] Examples of what it might look like to introduce consequences. [0:16:57] Why endless threatening with no consequences is the worst thing you could do. [0:18:20] Adjusting your expectations of your child to adopt your systems.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    19 min

  4. FEB 19

    Boomerang Kids: How to Set Boundaries When Your Adult Child Moves Back Home

    In today’s episode of Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy Chen and Meredith Herrera tackle the growing reality of “boomerang kids”—young adults who return home after college and struggle to relaunch into independence. Cathy and Meredith unpack the emotional tug-of-war parents face as they try to be supportive without enabling, especially in today’s challenging economic and digital job landscape. From setting clear financial expectations and timelines to redefining household responsibilities, they explore how parents can encourage growth without making home life too comfortable. This episode offers candid insight into drawing the line between support and stagnation, and how honest communication and smart boundaries can help a temporary return home stay just that: temporary. Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] Today’s topic of conversation: The Boomerang Effect. [0:01:50] A High School Cheer by Cathy Chen. [0:02:30] Why this is happening now, more than ever before. [0:04:10] The proverbial “rock and a hard place” for parents. [0:05:50] Turning the dial up on the home discomfort. [0:07:40] How the economy and job market are affecting our post-college kids. [0:09:30] The parent strategy: reset conversations, an established timeline, and boundaries. [0:13:00] The “real life” Wrinkle and how to navigate gaining professional skills in this market. [0:18:30 Parents fearing the complacency. [0:20:00] The lever for parents: financial control. [0:21:25] Meredith shares her thoughts on the difference between support and enabling. [0:22:55] What the bottom line looks like. [0:23:20] The difference between a launched kid at home and a boomerang kid. [0:25:30] Get those boomerangs out there! Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    26 min

  5. FEB 11

    Teen Anxiety and Academic Pressure: When “Maximizing Potential” Backfires

    Is pushing your child to maximize their potential 24/7 doing more harm than good? On Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith dig into the tension between kids who feel content and parents who keep pushing for more. They challenge the idea that success equals constant achievement, unpacking how that mindset fuels anxiety and fragility. Real growth, they argue, comes from balancing ambition with knowing when “enough” is enough. Tune in to hear why contentment isn’t a lack of drive, what life actually looks like for students who are always “maximizing their potential,” and how parents can model a healthier, more realistic version of “good enough.” Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:10] Listeners are introduced to today’s topic: contentment vs. potential. [0:02:50] Unwittingly training never-satisfied adults. [0:04:10] What is enough for our kids? [0:05:05] Conflating contentment with lack of ambition: check the facts. [0:06:50] The pressure to help kids discover what’s out there. [0:08:00] What we see with students who “Maximize their potential”. [0:08:50] When parents should pay attention. [0:10:45] Coaching versus controlling your kids. [0:12:30] The danger of narrowly defining potential. [0:15:40] Understanding what value is driving our high standards. [0:17:20] Why you can have it all, just not all at once. [0:17:55] Where parents can demonstrate “good enough” contentment. [0:18:25] Areas where Meredith and Cathy are going to practice more contentment this week. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    24 min

  6. FEB 4

    Overparenting Teens: When Helping Too Much Hurts Your Teen’s Independence

    Are you helping your teen or quietly running their life for them? In this episode, Cathy and Meredith unpack the subtle but common ways parents overcompensate for their teenagers and how that can unintentionally hinder the development of important life skills. They walk through the various real-world examples of excessive support, why encouraging independence and problem-solving skills in teens is essential, what drives parents to overcompensate, and a practical way for parents to check if they are doing too much. They also explore how providing too much support can prevent teens from learning essential life skills, how to shift from being a fixer/manager to actually being supportive of your teenager, and how to know when it is the right time to step in. Join the conversation to learn how to spot overparenting in the moment, provide healthier support, and help your teen build confidence. Tune in now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:26] Outline of today’s topic and what listeners can expect from the episode. [0:02:49] Hear why emailing/texting on a teen’s behalf is a clear sign of overparenting. [0:04:25] What do to when your teenager asks you to communicate on their behalf. [0:05:47] How to know the difference between managing your teen and supporting them. [0:08:31] Explore how the need to manage often reflects the parent’s own anxiety. [0:09:45] A pattern where teens constantly seek approval and how parents reinforce it. [0:11:37] Discover why it is vital that teens overcome challenges on their own. [0:14:31] Uncover how to provide support while letting your teen learn important life skills. [0:15:14] Why repeated check-ins and reminders are clear signs of overparenting. [0:17:00] Find out how to know when it is the right time to step in and help your teen. [0:19:49] Unpack how a parent’s behavior toward staff can indirectly impact their teen. [0:21:50] Final takeaways and closing comments. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: ‘Why Nagging Your Teen Doesn’t Work (and What to Do Instead)' Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    22 min

  7. JAN 28

    College Admissions Reality Check: Why Saying “You’re Definitely Getting In” Can Hurt Teens

    In this episode, hosts Cathy and Meredith dive into a well-meaning phrase adults often say to high school seniors and why it can do more harm than good. Telling students they’re “definitely getting in” to selective colleges may sound encouraging, but it can actually create unnecessary pressure and lead to major disappointment if rejection letters arrive. Cathy and Meredith unpack how today’s college admissions process is far more competitive than many adults realize, making these kinds of assurances unrealistic. Instead of offering false certainty, they encourage parents, mentors, and educators to celebrate students’ effort, growth, and resilience, and to remind them that their success isn’t defined by any single admissions decision. Tune in for yet another short but power-packed episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] Welcome back: an update from Cathy and Meredith! [0:02:10] Today’s topic: adults saying things they don’t have the authority to say. [0:03:00] Why you shouldn’t say “you’ll get in [to college]” to a kid. [0:04:50] What we need to emphasize instead. [0:08:00] The well-intentioned alleviation of stress and what kids actually need. [0:11:30] Why preparing for rejection is more beneficial than false encouragement. [0:12:10] Alternative phrases you can say instead. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    13 min

  8. JAN 21

    The 3 Habits That Matter Most for Teen Wellbeing: Sleep, Screens, and Healthy Play

    Sometimes the simplest habits can have the biggest impact on teenagers’ wellbeing. Today, Cathy and Meredith kick off the new year by naming three foundational habits they believe matter most for teens: sleep, screen use, and healthy play and physical movement. Drawing on years of coaching experience, they explain why sleep is essential during adolescence, how screens interfere with focus and rest, and why play and exercise are critical for mood and development. The conversation also looks at how phones, laptops, and emerging technologies shape teens’ daily lives, and why relying on self-control alone to resist them is not realistic. Along the way, Cathy and Meredith share practical ways families can support healthier routines without overhauling everything. These habits may sound basic, but they support long-term growth in powerful ways. Tune in for a grounded conversation about helping teens thrive by getting the basics right!   Key Points From This Episode:   [0:02:02] Today’s topic: Three healthy habits we’d love for teenagers to adopt. [0:03:20] Why getting good sleep is such an important foundational habit for teen wellbeing. [0:04:56] Reminder: teens need more sleep than adults during this stage of development. [0:05:56] Building better screen habits: why screens are a major barrier to focus and rest. [0:06:47] The case for changing structures, not just asking kids to resist phones. [0:08:35] Concerns about kids and teens using chatbots to meet social and relational needs. [0:09:51] Creating screen-free time before bed as a family habit. [0:11:09] Why we’d love to see more teens engage in physical movement and healthy play. [0:15:05] How overscheduling crowds out sleep, movement, and downtime. [0:16:16] Playing the long game when supporting teen growth and development. [0:18:12] Why adolescents still need boundaries, not total independence. [0:24:08] Some of the habits that we are focusing on this year for ourselves. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: ‘As more teens use AI chatbots, parents and lawmakers sound the alarm about dangers’ ‘Teens are having disturbing interactions with chatbots. Here's how to lower the risks’ Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    28 min
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Ratings & Reviews

4.5
out of 5
10 Ratings

About

Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You brings you candid conversations with experts in psychology, education, and college admissions — so you can better understand your teen and help them thrive. Hosts Cathy Chen and Meredith Herrera have coached thousands of teens and families, and they’re here to make this whole “parenting a teenager” thing a little easier. (Or at least, less bewildering.) Because parenting is hard AF. 

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