WTF is on my Mind?!

Mark Vicente

Author, Speaker, Whistleblower and award-winning Director Mark Vicente was behind the sleeper hit “What The Bleep Do We Know?!” Several books have been written about the film’s remarkable grassroots marketing campaign, which led to its unprecedented success.Mark was born in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1965. Taking his first photograph at age four, he quickly discovered his passion for being behind the camera. After attending film and drama school in South Africa, he began working his way up the ranks of the camera department, from Assistant to Operator to Cinematographer. His first big break came as Director of Photography on the musical “SARAFINA,” starring Whoopi Goldberg. In 1992, he set his sights on Hollywood and relocated to Los Angeles to shoot his first studio picture for Disney;  “FATHERHOOD,” starring Patrick Swayze and Halle Berry. At the age of 26, he became one of the youngest cinematographers to shoot a big-budget studio picture. Over the next few decades, he went on to shoot an additional 14 feature films and numerous documentaries, music videos and commercials. Mark soon found there were in him, untold stories he desperately wanted to express as a Director. He was driven by the conviction that tales of greatness, nobility and introspection could be exciting and financially successful. Perhaps because of the very obvious race and class iniquities in South Africa, he found himself propelled to question certain fundamental assumptions at a very young age. Beliefs about human behavior, cosmology, religion, existentialism and mysticism. Along the way, he stumbled into a few situations where leaders with malignant pathologies (masquerading as saintly philosophers) spoke the talk of self-improvement but did untold damage to their followers... and him. Looking back, he can now say he has been in at least two cults. His last foray into personal growth and his defection from NXIVM was chronicled in the HBO series “The Vow”. Mark and a few plucky whistleblowers exposed the criminal activities of the organization, resulting in multiple arrests and indictments. He doesn’t consider himself a cult expert, but by his own admission, “I’m an expert in being screwed over, waking up, and knowing how to spot them.” He’s got a pretty salty approach to most things and is fascinated by the myriad patterns in the human psychodynamic that create the best and the worst in civilization. Join Mark as he unpacks a whole range of topics to do with: Psychology, Consciousness, Morality, Narcissistic Abuse, Spirituality, Cults, Propaganda, Science, Filmmaking, and Philosophy.You never quite know what you’re going to get, as it really does depend on… WTF is on his mind?!

  1. Oct 25 ·  Video

    Narcissists, Sociopaths & Family Court | Dr. Catherine Barrett

    Forensic psychologist Dr. Catherine Barrett has spent her career on both sides of abuse. Early on, she assessed sex offenders, sexually violent predators, and people found not guilty by reason of insanity. Today she consults for attorneys in family court, mostly for parents at risk of losing custody of their kids, and teaches future therapists at USC to recognize coercive control. Catherine was already working with offenders when she found herself in a narcissistic relationship of her own. We talk about why the signs are so hard to reconcile, even for an expert, and what that experience taught her. We also get into: Why therapists make good targets for abusers Why she believes so many sociopaths hide in philanthropy Covert narcissism, and why exhaustion is a warning sign Self-abandonment, and why too much empathy can be a trauma symptom What’s broken about family court, and why she thinks it should be abolished Why survivors get punished for speaking up Why charm can feel so right even when your gut says something’s off Find Dr. Catherine Barrett: http://www.cbpsychological.com Instagram: @cbpsychological Books mentioned: The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker The Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff Fawning by Ingrid Clayton Watch Narcissist’s Playbook: http://www.NarcissistsPlaybook.com Support the show The views and opinions expressed by guests on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  2. Oct 18 ·  Video

    Bottling Up Rage: Why People Pleasing Ends Badly w/ Nick Pollard

    I found Nick Pollard, known online as 'The People Displeaser,' through his Instagram reels, and three days later we were recording this conversation. Nick is a coach and recovering people pleaser who survived a brutal childhood, three divorces, and an addiction that nearly killed him. He came out the other side with ideas that a lot of people find hard to hear. We talk about how people-pleasing quietly turns into resentment, why he calls it "little bottles of rage," and why the explosion almost always lands on someone you love. We get into why he doesn't buy the word "empath," what he saw after walking out of rehab and straight onto its staff, and why he thinks a lot of coaches need to stay in their lane. I also push him on the question I keep running into with my own audience: where does taking responsibility for your life end, and where does victim blaming begin? Nick also shares why Narcissist's Playbook hit him so hard, and what it showed him about his own past relationships. Nick's Instagram: @thepeopledispleaser Book: I Hope You Hate This, out January 26, 2027. Pre-order at www.ihopeyouhatethis.com Narcissist's Playbook Screenings Washington, D.C.: Free screening, Sunday, October 25, Sylvan Theater, National Mall Want to join the D.C. street team? Email outreach@narcissistsplaybook.com Cape Town, South Africa: Late November. Details coming soon. More U.S. screenings in December, with Europe and Australia planned for early 2027. Rent the film: www.NarcissistsPlaybook.com Patreon Behind-the-scenes footage from my trip back to Albany, New York, plus the conversations I don't have publicly: www.patreon.com/markvicente Support the show The views and opinions expressed by guests on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  3. Oct 4 ·  Video

    Failing the Test Is Passing the Test: The Moment I Chose My Wife Over NXIVM

    This one is personal. When I was waking up from NXIVM, Raniere and the people around him were turning on my wife Bonnie and trying to destroy our marriage. At one point she asked me where she stood in all of it. I checked in with myself, deeply, and I gave her my answer. The cult saw that answer as weakness. Last week in New York, someone asked me about that moment on a podcast, and it brought back something I had completely forgotten. In the 90s I read a book called "The Nine Faces of Christ" by Eugene Whitworth. It moved me so much that I wanted to make a film of it. Near the end, the main character faces a final test in an Egyptian mystery school: to move on, he has to give up the woman he loves. What he chooses, and what happens next, has stayed with me for decades. I just didn't realize how closely it mirrored my own choice until now. In this episode I talk about: - The moment Bonnie asked me where my loyalty was - How NXIVM turned my answer into a story about me having no backbone - The story of "The Nine Faces of Christ" and why it hit me so hard - Why sometimes the only way to pass the test is to fail it - Going back to Albany, and what I noticed about how I used to feel there - Choosing love, life and presence over ideology NARCISSIST'S PLAYBOOK IN WASHINGTON, D.C. We're screening the film on October 25th. Details and sign up: here: https://narcissistsplaybook.uscreen.io/pages/filmscreenings MY ALBANY VLOG I walked around the old stomping grounds and recorded my thoughts. It's up on Patreon: www.patreon.com/markvicente Stay curious. Support the show The views and opinions expressed by guests on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  4. Sep 20 ·  Video

    The Algorithm Wants us to Hate

    You're sure you know who the enemy is. You've seen the evidence. You've read the comments. But what if the fight itself is the product? In NXIVM, Raniere kept us busy fighting each other so none of us looked up at what he was doing. I'm watching the same pattern play out on a massive scale, and most people are too inflamed to notice. So I want to ask you a question I think very few people are asking right now: who benefits when you hate the other side? And if the answer makes you uncomfortable, what do you actually do about it? I have a thought on the antidote. I'd love to hear yours in the comments. 🎟 Nashville screening of Narcissist's Playbook with Evan Rachel Wood, Sept 22: https://www.belcourt.org/events/rental-screening-narcissists-playbook/ 🎬 Rent the film anytime: http://www.narcissistsplaybook.com 📩 Know a journalist or outlet who should cover the film? outreach@narcissistsplaybook.com 🎧 My earlier episode on narcissistic triangulation: https://youtu.be/jdlrfn7V22Q 🎧 My interview with A Little Bit Culty: Part 1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-little-bit-culty/id1553334816?i=1000789536099 Part 2: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-little-bit-culty/id1553334816?i=1000789541029 Stay curious. Support the show The views and opinions expressed by guests on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  5. Sep 13 ·  Video

    Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 14 - The Cult Assassin

    For thirteen episodes, you've heard from the people Bentinho Massaro did this to. This episode is different. Carol Merchasin isn't a survivor, she's a lawyer, and some people call her 'The Cult Assassin.' If this conversation resonates, watch my documentary on narcissistic abuse, 'Narcissist's Playbook: Empathy Not Included'  www.narcissistsplaybook.com Carol Merchasin is an attorney and advocate on coercive control and high-demand groups, and the founder of a litigation practice devoted to sexual abuse, trafficking, and coercive control cases against these organizations. She previously spent years as a partner at Morgan, Lewis, investigating sexual misconduct inside Fortune 50 companies. She's now president of the Board of the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA): www.internationalculticstudies.org In this conversation, Carol and I get into what coercion actually looks like when there's no physical force involved: the isolation, the indoctrination, the slow process of cutting someone off from every outside voice that could tell them something is wrong. We talk about why "why didn't you leave" is the wrong question, and why "it could never happen to me" is the most dangerous thing anyone can believe about themselves. Carol also walks through the legal side most people never hear: how a case like this actually gets built, what the Trafficking Act has to do with coercive control that never involves physical force, and why the NXIVM case set a precedent that keeps getting built on every time a new case reaches a courtroom. These organizations act like they're untouchable. They're not, and this episode is about exactly why. Support the show The views and opinions expressed by guests on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  6. Aug 30 ·  Video

    Narcissism: When the Ego Goes Insane

    This is a crossover episode between WTF Is on My Mind and Remember Your Greatness.  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/remember-your-greatness-with-mark-vicente/id1838356198 People have watched me go from What the Bleep Do We Know?! to Narcissism, Cults, and Dark Psychology, and some have asked what the two have to do with each other. This episode is my answer. Narcissism is, in essence, the ego gone completely out of control. Spiritual and philosophical traditions have talked about the true self versus the false self for centuries, and I think Narcissistic Personality Disorder shows us exactly what happens when that false self becomes so disconnected from reality that it takes over completely. In this episode I talk about: - The difference between the false self we construct and the true self that feels more constant and eternal - The "I AM" state, and what happens when people touch that place of pure presence - How our thoughts can become completely detached from reality when we mistake them for our identity - Why communal narcissism can look like altruism and care when it is actually feeding a false sense of self - Keith Raniere's use of the word "pride," and why disabling healthy ego makes people easier to control - Why trying to destroy the ego is just another ego trip, and why that approach backfires - What cult leaders reveal about this pattern taken to its extreme Narcissism is a warning signal for what happens when we become spiritually dysregulated. Understanding it is not just about spotting it in other people. It is about understanding the same mechanism in ourselves. If this resonates with you, check out Narcissist's Playbook, our documentary featuring Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Dr. Heather Berlin, Richard Grannon, Evan Rachel Wood and a host of self-confessed narcissists, available to rent at NarcissistsPlaybook.uscreen.io As always, stay curious. Support the show The views and opinions expressed by guests on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  7. Aug 23 ·  Video

    Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 13 - The Insane Text Messages Part 4

    Inst@Guru is an investigative series examining Bentinho Massaro, a Dutch-born spiritual influencer, and the high-control dynamics inside his organization. It's built around the accounts of three former members who spent years close to him: Jacqueline Graham, Keilan McNeil, and Jade Alectra. Each brings their own texts, memories, and evidence to build a full picture of what actually happened, and why it's so hard to see from the inside while you're living it. This is part four of the text message series. Jacqueline, Keilan, and Jade go through their private conversations with Cory, Bentinho's right hand, and with Bentinho himself, in the aftermath of leaving his organization. Jacqueline shares her full exit conversation with Cory, the one where every doubt she raises gets reframed as a "visit" from a negative entity. Jade walks through what happened during an isolated retreat with Bentinho, Cory, and Paola, and what she describes as being groomed into treating consent as something to overcome. You'll hear what happened to Paola in the years that followed. Keilan shows the "plug the holes" damage control that kicked in within thirty minutes of a single online post, along with a threatening text from Bentinho to a former employee, and an older group chat that shows Cory's devotion to him years before any of this. I'm Mark Vicente. I spent twelve years inside NXIVM, the group HBO covered in The Vow. This series exists because Jacqueline, Keilan, and Jade wanted people to see how this actually works from the inside, not just hear that it happened. This is episode 13. If you haven't watched episodes 1 through 12, start there, this one builds directly on everything before it. I also just released Narcissist's Playbook, a documentary highly relevant to this series. https://narcissistsplaybook.uscreen.io/ Support the show The views and opinions expressed by guests on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  8. Aug 9 ·  Video

    They Believe Their Own Lies: A Neuroscientist Explains Narcissism w/ Dr. Heather Berlin

    I've been sitting with a theory for a while now: that dissociation isn't just what happens to survivors; it might be the actual cornerstone of narcissism itself. Not just what a narcissist does to the people around them, but something disconnected inside of them too, from their own shame, their own actions, maybe their own humanity. Watch Narcissist's Playbook: https://narcissistsplaybook.uscreen.io Join the Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Dr. Heather Berlin: https://www.heatherberlin.com Dr. Heather Berlin was one of the experts featured in Narcissist's Playbook, and she joined us for our launch weekend, July 24th to 26th, for a live Q&A that left me with a lot of unfinished thoughts I couldn't stop turning over. So I brought her back to dig in a little deeper. We get into what dissociation actually is, why some narcissists can pass a polygraph while telling a bold lie because they've come to genuinely believe it, and why some seem to see other people less as people and more as objects, tools, even less than that. We also talk about the difference between refusing to look inward and being unable to, whether some of this is decided early in life or wired in from birth, and why the people who seek power the most are so often the ones who should have it the least. Dr. Heather Berlin is a neuroscientist and clinical psychologist, and Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Neuroscience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. Her research explores the neural basis of trauma and dissociation, with a particular focus on the insula, the brain region tied to body awareness, and on depersonalization, the clinical term for the numbness and disconnection so many survivors describe. She's also a well-known science communicator, hosting PBS NOVA's Your Brain and appearing regularly on StarTalk with Neil deGrasse Tyson. Her new book, The Fine Art of Losing Control, is available for pre-order now. Support the show The views and opinions expressed by guests on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

4.9
out of 5
759 Ratings

About

Author, Speaker, Whistleblower and award-winning Director Mark Vicente was behind the sleeper hit “What The Bleep Do We Know?!” Several books have been written about the film’s remarkable grassroots marketing campaign, which led to its unprecedented success.Mark was born in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1965. Taking his first photograph at age four, he quickly discovered his passion for being behind the camera. After attending film and drama school in South Africa, he began working his way up the ranks of the camera department, from Assistant to Operator to Cinematographer. His first big break came as Director of Photography on the musical “SARAFINA,” starring Whoopi Goldberg. In 1992, he set his sights on Hollywood and relocated to Los Angeles to shoot his first studio picture for Disney;  “FATHERHOOD,” starring Patrick Swayze and Halle Berry. At the age of 26, he became one of the youngest cinematographers to shoot a big-budget studio picture. Over the next few decades, he went on to shoot an additional 14 feature films and numerous documentaries, music videos and commercials. Mark soon found there were in him, untold stories he desperately wanted to express as a Director. He was driven by the conviction that tales of greatness, nobility and introspection could be exciting and financially successful. Perhaps because of the very obvious race and class iniquities in South Africa, he found himself propelled to question certain fundamental assumptions at a very young age. Beliefs about human behavior, cosmology, religion, existentialism and mysticism. Along the way, he stumbled into a few situations where leaders with malignant pathologies (masquerading as saintly philosophers) spoke the talk of self-improvement but did untold damage to their followers... and him. Looking back, he can now say he has been in at least two cults. His last foray into personal growth and his defection from NXIVM was chronicled in the HBO series “The Vow”. Mark and a few plucky whistleblowers exposed the criminal activities of the organization, resulting in multiple arrests and indictments. He doesn’t consider himself a cult expert, but by his own admission, “I’m an expert in being screwed over, waking up, and knowing how to spot them.” He’s got a pretty salty approach to most things and is fascinated by the myriad patterns in the human psychodynamic that create the best and the worst in civilization. Join Mark as he unpacks a whole range of topics to do with: Psychology, Consciousness, Morality, Narcissistic Abuse, Spirituality, Cults, Propaganda, Science, Filmmaking, and Philosophy.You never quite know what you’re going to get, as it really does depend on… WTF is on his mind?!

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