Sex For Couples with Heather Shannon

Heather Shannon

Sex For Couples is a podcast for committed couples who feel stressed, guilty, or frustrated about their sex life—and want to feel excited, close, and playful again. New episodes are released every Monday. Hosted by Heather Shannon, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist with 19 years of experience as a counselor and coach, the show breaks down the emotional and psychological reasons intimacy fades and what actually helps couples reconnect. Heather has been featured on BloomTV and quoted in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, SELF, Glamour, and more. She is a Gottman-trained couples counselor, an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist and has spent 13 years as a practicing Buddhist. Through both solo and guest episodes, Sex For Couples offers approachable advice, open conversations, and helpful tools so couples can communicate better about sex, reduce shame and stigma, and enjoy rediscovering each other. This podcast isn’t about performance or perfection—it’s about helping couples stop overthinking sex and start having fun with it again. For more on Heather's work, visit HeatherShannnon.co. NOTE: This show was formerly called "Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon" and was renamed on Valentine's Day, 2026. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

  1. 4d ago ·  Video

    Listener Q & A: Too Busy For Sex, Hormones, Asexuality and Best Advice

    Stuck in a sex rut? Take my free quiz to discover what could be keeping you stuck—and where to start: https://TheBetterBedroom.com What do you do when your partner comes out as asexual and you have a high sex drive? How do you get in the mood when life feels like an endless to-do list? In this listener Q&A episode of Sex for Couples, I’m answering your questions as an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. We explore mismatched desire, different ways to experience intimacy, and how to stay curious about your options when your sex life takes an unexpected turn. I also discuss how hormonal changes throughout the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and perimenopause can influence libido—and why hormones aren’t the whole picture. Plus, I share my advice for building a satisfying relationship from the beginning, including talking openly about sex, maintaining your individuality, and bringing more playfulness into your connection. Whether you’re navigating a desire discrepancy or simply feeling too busy for intimacy, this episode offers starting points for less pressure and more connection. In this episode, we cover: Navigating a relationship with an asexual partner, including conversations about boundaries, sexual needs, and shared intimacy.Why persistent, painful arousal deserves medical attention—and exploring the emotional needs that can accompany a desire for sex.Making room for intimacy when you’re overwhelmed, with mental foreplay, responsive desire, and small moments of connection.How menstrual cycles and life stages such as breastfeeding and perimenopause can affect sexual desire.Talking about sexual preferences and giving feedback in a positive, playful way—including trying a “kissing lab.”Keeping curiosity and attraction alive through individuality, novelty, emotional honesty, and a shared willingness to grow. Want personalized support with your sex life or relationship? Reach out to explore coaching with me at https://HeatherShannon.co This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

  2. Sep 25 ·  Video

    How To Let Go In The Bedroom: Dominance vs. Surrender

    Want your partner to take charge in bed, but struggle to actually let go? Or curious about being dominant without feeling like you’re playing a character? In this episode of Sex For Couples, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon welcomes professional dominatrix and erotic leadership expert Kimi Inch to explore conscious kink, dominance and submission, and building sexual confidence through connection. Heather and Kimi unpack why trust, self-worth, and relationship patterns can get in the way of surrender—and how to explore BDSM with more curiosity and less pressure to perform. Through real examples from her work with couples, Kimi shares how to develop an authentic dominant style, communicate sexual fantasies and boundaries, and use a verbal rehearsal to discover what excites you both before trying it in the bedroom. Key takeaways: Why being in charge all day doesn’t automatically make surrender easy in bed.How trust, self-worth, and unresolved relationship dynamics can affect dominance and submission.What subspace and Dom space can feel like—and why both partners need to let go in different ways.How erotic leadership uses presence, responsiveness, and creativity to build connection.How to use a kink checklist to discuss desires, boundaries, and sexual compatibility.Why talking through a fantasy before acting it out can build anticipation and clarify what feels good.How short play sessions, check-ins, and permission to make mistakes can take the pressure off exploring kink. Connect with Heather: Take the free “Why You’re Stuck in a Sex Rut” quizVisit Heather’s website and explore intimacy coaching Connect with Kimi: Visit &More for Kimi’s coaching, classes, and eventsDownload the free Conscious Kink Checklist This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

  3. Sep 14 ·  Video

    Stop Trying To Get Your Old Sex Life Back

    In this episode of Sex For Couples, Heather Shannon talks with relationship coach Ally Iseman about non-monogamy, consensual open relationships, and how to build a sex life and relationship that's designed on purpose instead of running on autopilot. They get into why exclusivity and commitment aren't the same thing, why jealousy shows up in monogamous relationships too, and how monogamous couples can borrow the same tools non-monogamous couples use to keep things exciting. Ally is the founder of Passport to Pleasure, offering relationship coaching and curated travel experiences for couples who want to have the conversations they don't get to have anywhere else. She and Heather talk about relationship scripts, the difference between fantasy and desire, why living together or splitting things a certain way isn't required for commitment, and why curiosity — not effort — is the real antidote to a stuck sex life. In this episode: Why exclusivity and commitment are not the same thingJealousy is an emotional experience, not a character trait — and it shows up in monogamous relationships tooThe difference between a fantasy and a desire, and why you can share one without acting on itHow "relationship scripts" (living together, marriage, monogamy by default) keep couples from designing what actually works for themWhy avoiding a hard conversation with your partner is still a choice, not neutralHow non-monogamous couples build novelty and variety — and how monogamous couples can borrow the same toolsWhy your sex life is supposed to change over time, and what that means for your relationship Connect with Ally Iseman: Website: https://www.passport2pleasure.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allyiseman Connect with Heather: Stuck In A Sex Rut? Take the free quiz: TheBetterBedroom.com Work with Heather As Your Coach: https://HeatherShannon.co This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

  4. Sep 7 ·  Video

    How To Stop Being Sexually Inhibited

    Stuck in a sex rut? Take the free quiz at https://TheBetterBedroom.com If you've ever wondered if you're sexually repressed or inhibited, this is the eipsode for you! Discover the signs that you're sexually inhibited, why so many people hold back sexually and what to do to become more sexually authentic and free to be yourself! Let your freak flag (or vanilla flag) fly. Host and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon goes over common patterns she sees with clients as well as her own past experiences feeling repressed and uncomfortable with sexuality. In this episode, Heather shares practical ways to notice when you are holding back, how to talk about desires with a partner, and how to work with the parts of yourself that feel protective or ashamed. Key topicsSexual inhibition can show up as keeping fantasies private, staying quiet during sex, or feeling like your desires are weird or inappropriate.A “low libido” may actually be hidden desire that has been buried by self-judgment, fear of being judged, or difficulty naming wants.Private sexual interests, like porn fantasies, romance novels, or kink scenarios, can be a sign that part of your sexuality is not being shared with a partner.Cultural conditioning plays a major role, including messages from family, friends, school, church, purity culture, and gender socialization.Safety matters first. Heather notes that sexual inhibition can be tied to real concerns about unwanted attention, objectification, and sexual aggression.Substance use during sex can be a clue that inhibition is getting in the way of pleasure and ease. Timestamps00:00 - What sexual inhibition is and what this episode will cover 00:31 - Signs you may be repressed or censoring yourself 05:36 - How socialization teaches people what sex is “allowed” to be 06:06 - Church, purity culture, and shame-based sexual messaging 07:03 - Sexual safety, unwanted attention, and guardedness 09:25 - Family modeling, mixed examples, and emotional risk around sex 13:36 - How civilization can lead us to exile our primal side 15:00 - Reconciling the proper self with the sexual self 16:25 - Integrating lust and emotional connection 17:24 - Using parts work to welcome the more wild parts 19:50 - How sharing desires can create intimacy and closeness 20:49 - Substance use as a sign that inhibition may be present 21:10 - Befriending the protective inner voice 21:40 - Freeing your sexuality without needing to be stereotypically wild 23:06 - How to ask for curiosity and safety from a partner Looking for coaching? Request a free consultation with Heather: Unlock Your Passion - Consultation Call This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

  5. Aug 24 ·  Video

    Sex With ADHD: Why Your Brain Checks Out

    Feeling stuck in your sex life? Take the free quiz to find your sexy spark again: https://thebetterbedroom.com SEX WITH ADHD You're in the middle of sex and somehow your brain wanders off to grocery lists, Hamilton the musical, or the ceiling fan clicking. Then the shame kicks in. If that's you, this episode is going to change how you think about it completely. Heather sits down with Cate Osborn, ADHD content creator, sex educator, and best-selling author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to break down what ADHD and neurodivergence actually have to do with sex and intimacy. Spoiler: everything. They cover why the ADHD brain treats sex like just another series of tasks (same as making a sandwich), why kink might be the most naturally ADHD-friendly toolbox there is, how executive dysfunction shows up in the bedroom, the surprising links between ADHD and erectile dysfunction, orgasm difficulty, and hormonal shifts, and, for partners of someone with ADHD, where explanation ends and excuse begins. In this episode: 00:00 Intro 01:35 Why so many of Heather's clients turn out to be neurodivergent 02:53 Executive functioning and how it touches every part of your sex life 04:15 The comorbidities nobody talks about (anxiety, OCD, disordered eating) 04:42 What "AuDHD" is and why it matters 06:45 The sexual assault statistics that stopped Heather in her tracks 08:04 Inside The ADHD Field Guide for Adults 14:11 Why kink might be the perfect tool for an ADHD brain 18:20 The real reason you get distracted during sex 23:50 "I'm thinking about Hamilton the musical", checking out mid-sex 25:10 Eye contact, communication, and knowing your own needs 36:12 The partner side: what's fair to ask, and where accountability comes in 44:34 Resentment, parentified relationships, and sex drive 45:43 Orgasm difficulty and erectile dysfunction, explained Curious about coaching with Heather? Book a free Pathway to Passion consult More from Cate Osborn: Instagram Buy The Book This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

  6. Aug 10 ·  Video

    Why More Frequent Sex Isn't the Fix You Need

    Feeling stuck in your sex life or wondering how to reignite intimacy with your partner? Take the free quiz at TheBetterBedroom.com to find out what's really going on. Why More Frequent Sex Isn't the Fix You Need Most couples who feel stuck in their sex life assume the answer is just having sex more often. Couples therapist Zach Brittle (host of Marriage Therapy Radio) joins host and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon to explain why chasing frequency backfires, and why sex is actually a skill you build, not something you either have or don't. They dig into what people get wrong when they try to "work harder" at sex, why outcome-focused sex (orgasm, erection, intercourse) narrows what counts as intimacy, and how one couple in Zach's practice eliminated the guesswork around initiation entirely with a simple negotiated system. Topics covered: Why "more sex" is the wrong goal for a low sex lifeReframing sex as a skill instead of a talent you either have or don'tWhat "what's it for?" and "what counts?" reveal about your sex lifeWhy rejection in the bedroom is rarely about attractionA real couple's negotiated system for ending initiation anxietyTreating sex like a hobby instead of a performance More from Zach Brittle: Marriage Therapy Radio — https://marriagetherapyradio.com/ More from Heather: AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, host of Sex For Couples. Want personalized support for your relationship? Book a coaching consultation at https://HeatherShannon.co. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

  7. Jul 27 ·  Video

    Is Your Cell Phone Accidentally Killing Your Sex Life?

    Take the Why You're Stuck In A Sex Rut Quiz now! https://TheBetterBedroom.com If you feel more like roommates, co-parents, or logistical planning partners than lovers, your phone might be a bigger part of the problem than you think. In this episode, Heather Shannon — certified sex therapist with 20 years of counseling experience — breaks down what constant phone use is actually doing to your sex drive and your relationship, and how getting present again brings your desire back with it. What You'll Learn00:02 — Why phone use might be quietly killing your sex life, and what a 2025 University of Connecticut/Columbia study found about phone use, conflict, and intimacy in relationships02:27 — The societal shift toward disconnection: distracted driving, ignored bids for attention, and the disappearing "hello" when you walk into a shop04:54 — Why being "in your head" instead of "in your body" is one of the biggest hidden causes of performance anxiety, difficulty orgasming, and disconnection from your partner07:16 — How to audit your own phone use: what you actually want vs. what your actions show, and why this matters even more for men who weren't encouraged to be in touch with their emotions09:38 — What you get back when you put the phone down: presence, laughter, working out as a body-awareness practice, and why boredom can actually be good for your sex life11:52 — The trade-off most people don't examine: what you're sacrificing for a quick dopamine hit (and a mention of the book Dopamine Nation)14:15 — Heather's own 48-hour phone experiment: turning off text, WhatsApp, social media, and email for a weekend — and what it did to her nervous system and her sex drive16:32 — Practical solutions: checking in with yourself before you scroll, using Screen Time/Downtime limits, and why limits alone aren't enough — you have to decide how you actually want to spend your time Join the 30-Day ChallengeHeather's considering building a 30-day cell-phone-reducing, relationship-presence-boosting challenge. If that's something you'd want in on, comment "CHALLENGE" on YouTube or Spotify, or email Hello@HeatherShannon.co directly. If there's enough interest, she'll build it. Resources & Links📋 Take the quiz: TheBetterBedroom.com📅 Book a consultation call for coaching: HeatherShannon.co📖 Mentioned in this episode: Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke🧘 Mentioned in this episode: Eckhart Tolle's perspective on digital society and presence This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

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About

Sex For Couples is a podcast for committed couples who feel stressed, guilty, or frustrated about their sex life—and want to feel excited, close, and playful again. New episodes are released every Monday. Hosted by Heather Shannon, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist with 19 years of experience as a counselor and coach, the show breaks down the emotional and psychological reasons intimacy fades and what actually helps couples reconnect. Heather has been featured on BloomTV and quoted in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, SELF, Glamour, and more. She is a Gottman-trained couples counselor, an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist and has spent 13 years as a practicing Buddhist. Through both solo and guest episodes, Sex For Couples offers approachable advice, open conversations, and helpful tools so couples can communicate better about sex, reduce shame and stigma, and enjoy rediscovering each other. This podcast isn’t about performance or perfection—it’s about helping couples stop overthinking sex and start having fun with it again. For more on Heather's work, visit HeatherShannnon.co. NOTE: This show was formerly called "Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon" and was renamed on Valentine's Day, 2026. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

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