Sex For Couples with Heather Shannon

Heather Shannon

Sex For Couples is a podcast for committed couples who feel stressed, guilty, or frustrated about their sex life—and want to feel excited, close, and playful again. New episodes are released every Monday. Hosted by Heather Shannon, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist with 19 years of experience as a counselor and coach, the show breaks down the emotional and psychological reasons intimacy fades and what actually helps couples reconnect. Heather has been featured on BloomTV and quoted in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, SELF, Glamour, and more. She is a Gottman-trained couples counselor, an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist and has spent 13 years as a practicing Buddhist. Through both solo and guest episodes, Sex For Couples offers approachable advice, open conversations, and helpful tools so couples can communicate better about sex, reduce shame and stigma, and enjoy rediscovering each other. This podcast isn’t about performance or perfection—it’s about helping couples stop overthinking sex and start having fun with it again. For more on Heather's work, visit HeatherShannnon.co. NOTE: This show was formerly called "Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon" and was renamed on Valentine's Day, 2026. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

  1. May 31 ·  Video

    Crossdressing Kink: Married To A Women But Want to Wear Her Clothes?

    SUMMER SCHEDULE! I'll be publishing every other week during June, July & August so we can all enjoy our family time and travels. I'll resume weekly publishing September 7th, 2026. If you’re secretly wondering what your cross-dressing means about you — or terrified what would happen if your partner fully knew — this episode is for you. Many men who cross-dress struggle with shame, confusion, secrecy, and questions about identity. And hiding it for too long can create much bigger relationship problems than the dressing itself. In this episode of Sex for Couples, certified sex therapist and intimacy coach Heather Shannon breaks down the psychology of cross-dressing, why it can feel emotionally and sexually powerful, and how couples can navigate it honestly inside a committed relationship. You’ll learn the difference between cross-dressing, kink, drag, and gender identity — plus why secrecy, shame, and emotional suppression often become part of the cycle. Heather also explores feminization, sissification, submissive dynamics, internal family systems (IFS), and the emotional relief many people experience when they’re finally allowed to express hidden parts of themselves. Whether you’re exploring this personally or trying to understand your partner better, this episode offers a compassionate, nuanced perspective without shame or judgment. In This Episode: The difference between cross-dressing and being transgenderWhy cross-dressing can feel emotionally relieving or sexually excitingThe psychology behind feminization and sissification kinksHow masculinity pressures contribute to secrecy and shameWhy many people use cross-dressing as emotional escape or self-expressionThe connection between cross-dressing and submissive dynamicsHow Internal Family Systems (IFS) explains different “parts” of ourselvesWhat healthy honesty and integration can look like in long-term relationshipsHow secrecy around kinks can damage trust and intimacyQuestions to ask yourself if you’re exploring gender identity If this episode helped you better understand yourself, your partner, or your relationship dynamic, follow Sex for Couples for honest conversations about intimacy, desire, emotional connection, and sexual psychology. Take My Free Relationship & Intimacy Quiz: https://TheBetterBedroom.com Interested in coaching with Heather? Request a consultation: https://HeatherShannon.co Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or mental health treatment. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    29 min
  2. May 25

    Why So Many Couples End Up in a Dead Bedroom

    If you still love each other but sex has become rare, tense, or complicated, this episode will help you understand what changed. In this episode of Sex for Couples, Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon talks with Author & Founder Ralph Brewer who wrote The Dead Bedroom Fix and founded of HelpForMen.com. The explore why sex can feel effortless early in a relationship — and then slowly start to feel like work. They discuss the emotional reality of dead bedrooms, sexless marriage, mismatched libido, attachment styles, long-term monogamy, parenting stress, and why many couples feel confused when love is still there but desire has faded. You’ll hear why this pattern is so common, why it can feel especially painful for men, and what couples can start paying attention to if they want to rebuild sexual connection without blame or pressure. 🔑 In This Episode• Why sex often changes after marriage, commitment, and kids • How dead bedrooms happen even in loving relationships • Why men often experience low sexual connection as rejection • How anxious and avoidant attachment patterns affect intimacy • What self-improvement has to do with rebuilding desire ⏱ Chapters00:00 – Introduction to Ralph Brewer and His Journey 02:43 – Coping with Infidelity and the Importance of Male Friendships 05:36 – The Impact of Sexual Dynamics in Long-Term Relationships 08:31 – Understanding the Dead Bedroom Phenomenon 11:27 – The Role of Hormones and Aging in Relationships 14:14 – Community Support and Its Importance in Parenting 17:13 – Adjusting Expectations in Long-Term Relationships 21:42 – Navigating Relationship Changes 23:50 – The Impact of Life Stressors on Relationships 25:31 – Reviving the Bedroom: A Focus on Self-Improvement 28:40 – The Importance of Secure Communication 30:32 – Understanding Attachment Styles 34:33 – The Balance of Masculinity and Femininity 40:07 – Exploring Monogamy and Novelty in Relationships 👤 Connect with Ralph Brewer🌐 Help For Men https://helpformen.com ❤️ Work with Heather🌐 Coaching & Resources https://HeatherShannon.co 🔥 Take the Free Quiz: Why You’re Stuck In A Sex Rut https://TheBetterBedroom.com This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    45 min
  3. May 18

    How to Feel Sexy Despite Aging and Body Changes

    Sometimes your body changes — weight gain, new wrinkles, giving birth, surgery, balding, etc. And when that happens, it can deeply affect the way you experience desire, sexual confidence, intimacy, and your whole identity as a sexual being. In this episode, Heather explores the grief of bodily change, the unrealistic expectations many people have about sexuality staying the same forever, and the ways self-monitoring and body image struggles can create barriers to intimacy and pleasure. You’ll also hear practical mindset shifts and emotional tools to help you reconnect with feeling sexy, desirable, embodied, and alive in the body you have now. Topics include: • Sexual identity and changing bodies • Aging, perimenopause, and body image • Erection changes and vaginal dryness • Chronic pain, surgery, and disability • Feeling disconnected from your body sexually • Why self-monitoring kills pleasure • Cultural beauty standards and desirability • Botox, cosmetic procedures, and body optimization culture • Reclaiming confidence and sexuality • How thoughts shape sexual confidence and desire Resources & Links: Heather’s Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/heathershannonlcpc Take The Why You’re Stuck In A Sex Rut Quiz: https://TheBetterBedroom.com Request an Unlock Your Passion Call with Heather: https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignite Prior Episode – Confidence From The Outside In with Kimmy Seltzer: https://pod.fo/e/16fa44 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review, share it with someone who may need it, and follow the show for more conversations about sex, intimacy, relationships, and emotional connection. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    34 min
  4. May 11

    Why Sex Starts Feeling Like Another Chore

    If sex has started feeling like one more thing you're supposed to do in your relationship . . . this episode is for you. Maybe you still love your partner… but sex feels heavy, pressured, awkward, or emotionally draining. You want to want it — but instead you find yourself avoiding initiation, feeling disconnected, or wondering why intimacy feels so different than it used to. In this episode, Heather talks with sex and intimacy coach Xanet Pailet about the emotional patterns that quietly turn passionate relationships into roommate dynamics — including resentment, emotional disconnection, unresolved conflict, and feeling emotionally unsafe with your partner. They also discuss: Why couples stop wanting sex over timeThe emotional roots of sexless marriagesWhy unresolved resentment kills intimacyHow emotional safety impacts desireWhy many couples feel lonely even when they “never fight”The hidden patterns underneath low desireWhy sex can start feeling like another choreHow couples rebuild emotional and sexual connection Xanet also shares her personal story of surviving a 26-year sexless marriage, healing sexual shame and vaginismus, and eventually becoming a sex and intimacy coach helping couples reconnect emotionally and physically. If you’ve been feeling emotionally disconnected, stuck in resentment, or struggling to understand why attraction has faded in your relationship, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening underneath the surface. 🎧 Listen now to understand why sex changes in long-term relationships — and what actually helps couples feel close again. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    45 min
  5. May 4

    How to Fix Mismatched Libidos Without Pressure or Resentment

    Struggling with mismatched libidos in your relationship? You’re not alone—and the real problem isn’t what you think. In this episode, I’m joined by relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner to unpack the hidden dynamics behind desire discrepancy. We dive into why couples get stuck in cycles of pressure and rejection, how small disappointments turn into long-term resentment, and what both partners may be doing (without realizing it) to keep the pattern going. If you’ve ever felt like: Your partner “should” want sex moreYou’re constantly navigating pressure or rejectionEmotional connection isn’t translating into a better sex life …this episode will help you understand why—and what to do differently. What You’ll Learn: Why desire discrepancy is really a relationship dynamic (not just a libido issue)How “building a case” against your partner destroys intimacyThe hidden ways higher desire partners create pressureWhy emotional intimacy alone doesn’t fix sexHow to expand your definition of sex and reduce pressureThe role of childhood conditioning in your sex life Guest Resources Mentioned: Monica Tanner’s book: Bad Marriage AdviceMonica Tanner's website: https://www.monicatanner.com/ ❤️ Ready to improve your sex life? Take my free quiz to discover what’s really blocking intimacy in your relationship: 👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.com Or, if you’re ready for personalized support, book a free consultation: 👉 https://HeatherShannon.co This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    45 min
  6. Apr 27

    3 Ways Non-Monogamy Goes Wrong (And Why It Feels So Unsafe)

    Thinking about opening your relationship—but already feeling tension, anxiety, or uncertainty? You’re not alone. For many couples, conversations about non-monogamy or open relationships quickly become overwhelming. One partner may feel excited and ready to explore, while the other feels hesitant, worried, or emotionally unsafe. In this episode, I break down why that happens—and how to approach non-monogamy in a way that actually supports your relationship instead of destabilizing it. Because the truth is: 👉 Non-monogamy isn’t the problem. 👉 The issue is how couples navigate it—especially when emotional safety isn’t fully established. 🔑 What You’ll LearnWhy non-monogamy often feels unsafe early on (even when both people are open to it)The #1 mistake couples make: moving too fast—in conversations or actionsHow non-monogamy can quietly become one-sided (and lead to resentment)Why staying surface-level in communication creates more insecurityWhat it actually takes to build emotional safety in open relationshipsWhy even doing everything “right” won’t make the process perfect—and what to expect instead ❤️ Who This Episode Is ForThis episode is especially helpful if: You’re just starting to discuss non-monogamyOne of you is excited—and the other is unsureYou’ve tried opening things up and it didn’t go wellYou want to explore ethically without damaging trustYou’re navigating differences in sexual desire, curiosity, or identity 🧭 Free ResourceWant help figuring out what non-monogamy could actually look like for you? Download my Quick Start Guide to Non-Monogamy Options—a practical overview of different relationship structures and ways to explore safely: 👉 https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/offers/ELDCt5tG 💬 Work With MeIf you want support navigating this with your partner—especially if things feel tense, confusing, or emotionally loaded—I can help. I specialize in helping couples work through: navigating non-monogamy, kink differences, and mismatched libidos. 👉 Book a consultation here: https://HeatherShannon.co 🔗 Keywordsnon-monogamy, ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, how to open a relationship, non-monogamous relationship advice, relationship communication, emotional safety in relationships, polyamory, swinging, sexual compatibility, couples therapy, intimacy coaching This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    24 min
  7. Apr 20

    Why Non-Monogamy Can Save Your Relationship

    Non-monogamy is usually seen as something that destroys relationships. But what if, in some cases, it can actually save them? In this episode, I’m talking with a non-monogamy expert about a perspective that challenges everything most couples have been taught about love, sex, and commitment. We explore how Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) and Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) can sometimes be a more honest and sustainable way to navigate real relationship challenges—especially when it comes to mismatched libidos, unmet needs, and resentment. This isn’t about telling you to open your relationship. It’s about helping you think more clearly about: What you actually needWhat your partner can realistically provideAnd what options exist beyond the default model of monogamy We also get into: Why expecting one person to meet all your needs can create pressure and disconnectionHow resentment builds when sexual needs go unmetThe difference between choosing monogamy vs defaulting into itHow people navigate open relationships, polyamory, and other forms of non-monogamyThe role of honesty, communication, and emotional security in polyamorous relationshipsWhy some couples explore swinging, swingers communities, or other forms of shared sexual experiencesThe emotional realities (not just the fantasy) of ethical non-monogamy We also talk about the different roles partners can play—and why one person often can’t be everything for you over time. Whether you’re firmly monogamous, curious about ENM, or somewhere in between, this episode will give you a new lens on relationships, desire, and what it actually means to get your needs met. 🔗 Links & ResourcesTake the quiz: Discover what’s really causing your intimacy issues 👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.com Request a consultation for Heather's Pathway To Passion Coaching Program 👉 https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignite Learn more about our guest Cidney Green and buy her new book All 3 Of Me 👉 https://www.all3inme.com/ This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    53 min
  8. Apr 13

    3 Mistakes Couples Make When Sharing Sexual Fantasies

    Thinking about sharing a sexual fantasy—but worried your partner will see you differently? This is where most couples unknowingly start creating distance instead of deeper intimacy. In this episode, we break down the 3 biggest mistakes couples make when sharing sexual fantasies—and why these patterns often lead to pressure, resentment, or emotional disconnection instead of closeness. If you’ve ever struggled with how to talk about sex, navigate kinks or fantasies, or handle differences in desire, this episode will give you a clear framework for doing it in a way that builds trust, emotional safety, and a more satisfying sex life What You’ll LearnHow shame around sexual fantasies creates distance in relationships Why avoiding conversations about sex limits intimacy and connection The hidden risk of pushing a fantasy too quickly after sharing it How pressure and urgency can lead to coercion (even unintentionally) Why your partner’s reaction is shaped by conditioning—not you The truth about being “sex-positive” without abandoning your boundaries How to handle mismatched sexual interests in a healthy way Ways to explore fantasies without being 100% sexually compatible Key TakeawaysOpen communication about sex is essential for long-term intimacyFantasies require consent, pacing, and emotional safetyShame, pressure, and people-pleasing are the biggest intimacy killersYou can accept your partner’s desires without participating in everythingGreat sex lives aren’t about perfect compatibility—they’re about how you navigate differences together Chapters 0:00 Introduction to the topic of sharing sexual fantasies and the common issues couples face.1:05 Introduction to the three biggest mistakes couples make.2:02 Mistake #13:23 Importance of openness and being sex-positive.4:19 Benefits of discussing sex more frequently.5:16 Normalizing conversations about sex.6:34 Importance of consent and communication in sexual relationships.7:31 Variety and novelty in long-term relationships.8:28 Understanding each other fully through sharing fantasies.9:27 Mistake #212:04 Mistake #316:03 Encouragement to maintain personal boundaries.21:32 Exploring fantasies in a healthy way.22:52 Conclusion and encouragement to seek help if needed.Resources & Next StepsIf you’re noticing patterns like holding back, pushing too fast, or going along with things that don’t feel right, that’s exactly what I help couples work through. 👉 Take the quiz to discover your relationship pattern and what’s really driving your sexual disconnect: https://TheBetterBedroom.com 👉 Want personalized support? Apply for a free consultation for my Pathway to Passion coaching program: https://HeatherShannon.co This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    25 min

Trailer

4.9
out of 5
165 Ratings

About

Sex For Couples is a podcast for committed couples who feel stressed, guilty, or frustrated about their sex life—and want to feel excited, close, and playful again. New episodes are released every Monday. Hosted by Heather Shannon, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist with 19 years of experience as a counselor and coach, the show breaks down the emotional and psychological reasons intimacy fades and what actually helps couples reconnect. Heather has been featured on BloomTV and quoted in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, SELF, Glamour, and more. She is a Gottman-trained couples counselor, an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist and has spent 13 years as a practicing Buddhist. Through both solo and guest episodes, Sex For Couples offers approachable advice, open conversations, and helpful tools so couples can communicate better about sex, reduce shame and stigma, and enjoy rediscovering each other. This podcast isn’t about performance or perfection—it’s about helping couples stop overthinking sex and start having fun with it again. For more on Heather's work, visit HeatherShannnon.co. NOTE: This show was formerly called "Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon" and was renamed on Valentine's Day, 2026. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

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