Pillow Talks Vanessa & Xander Marin

This episode is all about the most viral piece of content we’ve ever made - why we make out every single night before bed. Our two-minute video has amassed almost 20 million views on social, was talked about on daytime TV shows, and even landed us an interview with the New York Times. We had no idea that this topic would be so popular, but it clearly struck a nerve!
So we decided to break our nightly ritual down for you in more detail and answer the most common questions we get asked. We’re spilling the beans on:
Why we decided to do it in the first place If it’s awkward getting it started every night If we still do it even when we’re angry with each other If it makes intimacy feel like an obligation or a chore  
Links & Resources:
Book: Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life
Guide: Art Of Initiation
Instagram: @vanessaandxander

 
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“What? I was just being honest!”
This is one of the most common phrases that gets uttered during conflicts between couples. We’ve all been taught to believe that honesty is a virtue, but let's be real, some of us are crossing the line between honesty into cruelty.
In this episode, we asked you to tell us about the situations where your partner said something that felt cruel to you, or you said something to your partner that felt cruel to them. We’re giving you our hot takes on if it was honest or just plain mean.
We’re even sharing some of our very personal (and very embarrassing) moments when we were way too honest with each other!
Links & Resources:
Our email list: vmtherapy.com/subscribe
Instagram: @vanessaandxander
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
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Products we love from Je Joue: The Couples Collection Gift Set

In February, we released our book, Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. It was an instant New York Times bestseller!
Now that the book has been out for close to a year, we thought it was about time to sit down and share the feedback we’ve gotten from thousands of readers.
In this episode, we’re giving you the five biggest takeaways from the book, including the shocking assumptions that you don’t realize are impacting your sex life, the dynamics that are ruining emotional intimacy, and the topic that got us almost 20 million views on social media and an interview with the New York Times.
Links & Resources:
Book: Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life
Course: Art Of Initiation
Workbook: Mental Load Workbook
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.
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Today we’re talking about something we’ve never heard talked about openly… silent sex.
Did you know that more than 50% of people regularly have sex where at least one partner is completely silent? This might not initially seem like a huge deal, but there are actually a number of drawbacks to having totally quiet sex.
In today’s episode, we’re breaking down for you why you’re having silent sex, the benefits of making some noise in the bedroom, and some simple steps to help you get more comfortable with it! You’ll also learn the surprising truth about which gender in a male/female relationship is the quiet one…
Links & Resources:
Guide: Dirty Talk 101
Guide: Modern Man’s Guide
 
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Do you wish your partner was more invested in your relationship? Do you find yourself wishing they would plan more date nights, spend less time on their phone and more time with you, or show you that they’re actively working on being a better partner? If so, you’re not alone. 70% of people are longing for a more involved partnership.
We know — from personal experience — that getting your partner to be more active can feel challenging. Maybe you just don’t know how to start the conversation or how to phrase your request. Or maybe you asked, but your partner never followed through. Or maybe they even said “no”.
Whatever the case may be, we’ll give you some sneaky yet effective ways to get your partner more invested in your relationship.
Links & Resources:
Challenge: The Connection Challenge

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This week we’re bringing back one of your favorite series - Ask Us Anything. This time we’re doing the sex therapy business secrets edition!
Let’s be real… business can sometimes be boring. So we asked our community to send in their nosiest questions. The questions they didn’t think we’d have the nerve to answer.
We're pushing out of our comfort zone and answering questions like, do we ever get turned on while working? Have we ever regretted talking about something publicly? And do we ever have imposter syndrome? Tune in to hear us spill all our secrets!
Links & Resources:
Book: Sex Talks Guide: Next Level Intercourse
Subscribe to our email list at vmtherapy.com/subscribe
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