No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery

Jake Kastleman
  • 4.5 (35)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED DAILY

What have you tried so far to quit porn? Accountability buddies, talk therapy, internet filters, church or religious programs, or mindfulness techniques to 'get rid of cravings'… Many of these have merit, but they're often missing key elements for long-lasting sobriety. It isn’t enough to just “stop watching porn”. Porn addiction is a symptom of deeper, underlying challenges that I address using evidence-based psychological and behavioral practices.My mission isn't just to help people overcome porn addiction, but to give them each step to establish a recovery mindset and lifestyle. This is done using hands-on, daily exercises that retrain the brain and forge new habits that last a lifetime. Once this mindset and lifestyle are established, the desire for porn naturally fades. To discover how to stop porn addiction, join my Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program at nomoredesire.com/program

  1. 9H AGO

    133: You Don’t “Need” Release | Sexual Energy, Nervous System Regulation, and the Hidden Psychology Behind Male Compulsion

    Most men believe a dangerous lie: “If I feel aroused, I need release.” In this episode, I challenge that belief head-on. If you’ve ever struggled with porn addiction, compulsive masturbation, or overwhelming sexual urges that feel impossible to control, this conversation will change the way you understand your body and your mind. You don’t “need” release. What you’re experiencing is nervous system activation — not biological necessity. In this episode, I break down the neuroscience of porn addiction, how dopamine and porn rewire the brain, and why stress, loneliness, anxiety, and emotional overload can feel like sexual cravings. I’ll explain how the nervous system regulation you’ve never been taught is the real key to sexual self-control. You’ll learn: Why sexual urges feel uncontrollable (and why they aren’t)The difference between sexual energy and sexual compulsionHow dopamine drives compulsive sexual behaviorWhy willpower fails in porn addiction recoveryHow to control sexual urges naturally without suppressionThe connection between stress and sexual cravingsPractical emotional regulation techniques to retrain your brainHow to stop masturbating as a coping mechanismWhat healthy masculinity and masculine leadership actually look likeI also share my personal story of overcoming pornography addiction and how learning to regulate my nervous system changed everything — my focus, my relationships, my emotional maturity, and even my spiritual connection. This isn’t about shame. It’s not about suppressing sexuality. It’s about containment. It’s about learning to channel sexual energy instead of discharging it compulsively. When you understand the difference between energy and compulsion, you stop trying to eliminate desire and start building capacity. And that shift — from urgency to self-leadership — is where real freedom begins. If you’re serious about overcoming porn addiction, rewiring your brain from porn, and building long-term sexual self-control, this episode will give you both the mindset and the practical tools to begin. You don’t need release. You need regulation. Let’s build it. Link to Blog Article for this Episode If you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, join the No More Desire free online community and connect with men who are committed to real recovery. When you sign up, you'll gain access to The 4 Pillars of Recovery Online Course FREE. You can also check out my Free Workshop and Free Ebook, designed to help you overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life. Join the free No More Desire Brotherhood and access the February Challenge inside the community. You’ll get a free PDF with daily body-gratitude meditations, the Story Over Skin tool, and an optional 10% discount for the full Reclaim Sexual Joy course. Sign up for the February Challenge here! Support the show No More Desire

    39 min

  2. FEB 11

    132: Why Objectification Isn’t About Lust: Porn, Power, Pain, and the Fear of Vulnerability | The Deep Psychology Behind Men's Tendency to Objectify Women

    Most men believe porn addiction and objectification come from having too much sexual desire. That explanation feels convenient—but it’s incomplete. And for many men, it keeps them stuck. In this episode of No More Desire, I break down the real psychology of objectification and explain how porn trains men to avoid vulnerability—not because they’re weak or immoral, but because their nervous system learned that distance feels safer than connection. Porn addiction is not about lust. It’s about emotional regulation. It’s about power, safety, shame, and unmet relational needs. And until we understand the emotional and neurological systems underneath porn addiction, we’ll keep fighting the symptom instead of healing the cause. In this episode, I walk you through why objectification intensifies when you’re lonely, stressed, anxious, or ashamed—and why white-knuckling, willpower, and self-judgment only fuel the cycle. Using psychology, neuroscience, and grounded spiritual insight, I explain how compulsive sexual behavior functions as a coping strategy, not a character flaw. We’ll explore how fantasy becomes a substitute for intimacy, how porn addiction hijacks emotional needs like importance and power, and why shame does not kill lust—it strengthens the system that creates it. I also share practical tools that help men retrain their nervous system, reduce sexual objectification, and recover from porn addiction without repression or shame. This episode is not about eliminating attraction. It’s about elevating perception, restoring presence, and building a healthier relationship with your inner world. If you’ve ever wondered: Why you objectify women even when you don’t want toWhy porn addiction gets worse during loneliness or stressWhy shame keeps pulling you back instead of setting you freeHow to heal porn addiction at the nervous-system levelHow to stop objectifying women without suppressing desireThis conversation will change the way you see porn addiction—and yourself. You don’t need more willpower. You need leadership over your inner world. If this episode resonates, that’s probably not an accident. You’re not broken—but parts of you may be carrying pain that deserves leadership, not punishment. Stay present. Stay curious. And keep choosing leadership over reaction. Link to Blog Article for this Episode If you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, join the No More Desire free online community and connect with men who are committed to real recovery. When you sign up, you'll gain access to The 4 Pillars of Recovery Online Course FREE. You can also check out my Free Workshop and Free Ebook, designed to help you overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life. Join the free No More Desire Brotherhood and access the February Challenge inside the community. You’ll get a free PDF with daily body-gratitude meditations, the Story Over Skin tool, and an optional 10% discount for the full Reclaim Sexual Joy course. Sign up for the February Challenge here! Support the show No More Desire

    29 min

  3. FEB 5

    131: The Neuroscience of Porn Addiction: Bringing the Nervous System Into Calm With The "3 Brains" Approach - How the Brain, Heart, and Gut All Help You Recover

    Why do so many men keep relapsing into porn—even when they genuinely want recovery? Why does willpower work for a while… and then completely fall apart under stress, loneliness, or exhaustion? In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the most important truths men need to understand if they want to overcome porn addiction for good: Porn addiction is not a willpower problem. It’s a nervous system problem. Most recovery approaches focus almost entirely on the thinking brain—your thoughts, beliefs, and self-control. But neuroscience tells a much deeper story. You are not driven by one brain. You are driven by three: the brain, the heart, and the gut. And when those three brains are out of sync, porn cravings feel overwhelming and impossible to resist. In this episode, I walk you through the real neuroscience of porn addiction, including how stress shuts down the prefrontal cortex, why willpower fails under pressure, and how cravings are often driven by emotional dysregulation and gut-level safety signals, not sexual desire. You’ll learn why porn becomes wired in as a fast regulator for stress, loneliness, and emotional pain—and how to replace that cycle by restoring brain–heart–gut coherence. This conversation is grounded in psychology, neurobiology, and nervous system research, but it’s taught in a practical, human way—so you can actually apply it in your daily life. If you’ve ever wondered why you “know better” but still relapse…  If porn cravings seem to come out of nowhere when you’re tired, stressed, or overwhelmed…  If you’re tired of white-knuckling and want real stability instead of constant internal battles… This episode will change how you understand yourself and your recovery. It comes from learning how to regulate your system, lead your inner world, and restore coherence between your mind, body, and emotions. That’s the work we do here. If this episode helps you, make sure to follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with another man who’s struggling with porn addiction and looking for a better way forward. You’re not weak. You’re not broken. And you’re not meant to fight this alone. Link to Blog Article for this Episode If you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, join the No More Desire free online community and connect with men who are committed to real recovery. When you sign up, you'll gain access to The 4 Pillars of Recovery Online Course FREE. You can also check out my Free Workshop and Free Ebook, designed to help you overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life. Join the free No More Desire Brotherhood and access the February Challenge inside the community. You’ll get a free PDF with daily body-gratitude meditations, the Story Over Skin tool, and an optional 10% discount for the full Reclaim Sexual Joy course. Sign up for the February Challenge here! Support the show No More Desire

    32 min

  4. JAN 28

    130: Porn Addiction Recovery Without Shame: Stop Hating Yourself and Start Healing

    What if porn addiction recovery feels painful not because you’re failing—but because the way you’ve been taught to understand addiction is fundamentally flawed? For many men, trying to quit porn doesn’t feel empowering.  It feels humiliating.  It feels like staring straight at everything you believe is broken, defective, or dangerous about you. I know this feeling personally—because I lived it for years. The harder I tried to overcome porn addiction, the worse I felt about myself. Recovery became a reminder of shame instead of a path toward healing. And eventually, it felt easier to numb out than to keep confronting the belief that I was fundamentally flawed. In this episode of No More Desire, I challenge one of the most destructive ideas in modern porn addiction recovery: that addiction means you are bad, weak, or unworthy. Because what if porn addiction isn’t proof that something is wrong with you—but evidence that good parts of you were forced into extreme roles? In this conversation, I break down why shame-based recovery backfires, how porn addiction is deeply tied to self-worth and the nervous system, and why self-judgment keeps men stuck in the very cycle they’re trying to escape. We explore the psychology and neuroscience behind porn addiction, including how shame dysregulates the nervous system and intensifies cravings, why dopamine-driven behaviors aren’t about pleasure but unmet emotional needs, and how addiction often functions as a misguided attempt at connection, comfort, and significance. Using a parts-work framework grounded in psychology, I explain how healthy inner parts—like the desire for comfort, adventure, rest, and meaning—can become distorted when they’re suppressed or ignored. Porn addiction, in this light, isn’t about moral failure. It’s about good parts in bad roles. You’ll also learn why simply getting sober doesn’t automatically heal shame, why many men remain unhappy even after quitting porn, and how waiting to feel “worthy” before living your life keeps addiction relevant. This episode offers a different path forward—one rooted in self-leadership rather than self-hatred. If you’re trying to quit porn but feel exhausted, ashamed, or stuck in an inner war, this episode will help you reframe your struggle and begin healing without hating yourself. Porn addiction recovery without shame isn’t about excusing behavior.  It’s about understanding it deeply enough that real, lasting change becomes possible. Link to Blog Article for this Episode If you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, join the No More Desire free online community and connect with men who are committed to real recovery. When you sign up, you'll gain access to The 4 Pillars of Recovery Online Course FREE. You can also check out my Free Workshop and Free Ebook, designed to help you overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life. Support the show No More Desire

    50 min

  5. JAN 21

    129: The “Peacemaker” Part of You Is Driving Porn Use—And It’s Not Your Enemy

    Most men believe porn addiction is driven by lust, temptation, or a lack of discipline. But what if that’s not the real problem? In this episode of No More Desire, I challenge one of the most common—and damaging—assumptions in porn addiction recovery: that the part of you that turns to porn is bad, broken, or sinful. What I’ve discovered through my own recovery, and through working with men across the world, is this: Porn addiction often isn’t about pleasure at all. It’s about emotional self-soothing. There is a part of your mind—what I call the Peacemaker—that is trying to calm your nervous system, reduce stress, and give you relief. When you don’t know how to truly rest, relax, or be present, this part looks for comfort wherever it can find it. For many men, porn becomes that coping mechanism. In this episode, I break down how porn cravings are often driven by stress, anxiety, emotional overload, and nervous system dysregulation, not sexual desire. I explain why willpower alone fails in porn addiction recovery—and what actually works instead. You’ll learn how chronic pressure from high achievement, perfectionism, or anxiety quietly fuels relapse… and how the inner war between different parts of your mind keeps the cycle going. Most importantly, I’ll teach you how to stop fighting yourself—and start leading yourself. This episode is for men who are tired of white-knuckling sobriety…   Men who keep relapsing despite trying harder… Men who want lasting porn addiction recovery rooted in mindset, lifestyle, and self-leadership. If you’ve ever wondered why you turn to porn when you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or exhausted—this conversation will change how you see yourself and your recovery. You’re not broken. You’re not weak. And the part of you driving porn use doesn’t need to be destroyed—it needs to be retrained. If you want to go deeper into this work, I invite you to join the No More Desire Brotherhood, where men support each other in real, practical recovery. You can also check out my free resources—including The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn and The 10 Tools to Conquer Cravings—at nomoredesire.com. If this episode helped you, take a moment to follow, rate, and review the podcast. It’s one of the best ways you can help other men find real help for porn addiction recovery. Let’s get into it. Link to Blog Article for this Episode If you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You’ll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart. Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life Support the show No More Desire

    38 min

  6. JAN 14

    128: The Beliefs You Must Let Go of Before You Can Quit Porn | Why Painful Emotions and Unconscious Beliefs Are the Real Trailheads to Sobriety

    Is it possible to quit porn by changing your beliefs? Can you overcome porn addiction—not through willpower or positive thinking—but by going deeper into the painful emotions and unconscious beliefs that actually drive the habit? In this episode, I challenge the popular idea that you can “just believe differently” or manifest your way out of porn addiction. While mindset does matter, most advice about belief change misses a crucial step—and that missing step is the reason so many men keep relapsing despite doing “everything right.” Porn addiction is not just a behavior problem.  It’s not even just a habit problem. At its core, porn addiction is driven by unconscious beliefs, emotional conditioning, and nervous system patterns that were formed long before porn ever entered the picture. In this episode, I walk you through a real-life case study of a client (we’ll call him Joseph) who struggled with porn addiction for nearly 20 years—and is now over three months sober for the first time since he was a child. What changed wasn’t his willpower. It wasn’t positive affirmations. It was the way he learned to work with painful emotions, triggers, and deeply rooted beliefs like shame, defectiveness, fear, and unworthiness. I also break down the step-by-step belief-release process Joseph used—drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS), parts work, emotional mindfulness, somatic psychology, and nervous system regulation—to release old beliefs and allow new, healthier beliefs to take root naturally. We’ll explore the psychology and neuroscience behind why this approach works, including: Implicit (unconscious) beliefs and emotional memoryWhy beliefs live in the body, not just the intellectMemory reconsolidation and why old beliefs must be activated before they can changePrediction error and how self-efficacy is built through lived experienceWhy acceptance—not force—is the key to lasting porn addiction recoveryThis episode is for you if: You’re trying to quit porn but keep relapsingYou feel trapped by shame, fear, or emotional overwhelmYou’ve done therapy, programs, or accountability—but something still feels missingYou want a deeper, more compassionate, neuroscience-backed approach to recoveryThis is not a quick fix. It’s not a magic wand.  But it is a grounded, psychological and neurological path toward real freedom—one that integrates emotional healing, nervous system regulation, and a healthier relationship with yourself. If you’re ready to stop fighting your mind and start healing it, this episode will change the way you understand recovery. Link to Blog Article for this episode If you’re looking for deeper support and real connection in recovery, I’m opening the No More Desire Brotherhood on January 15th. The pre-launch is open right now, and when you join you’ll get free lifetime access to my 4 Pillars of Recovery mini-course, plus exclusive pre-launch bonuses. You can learn more and join here: https://www.nomoredesire.com/prelaunch Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life. Support the show No More Desire

    49 min

  7. JAN 7

    127: Trauma, Porn, and Same-Sex Attraction in Men | Navigating Identity Confusion, Emotional Neglect, and Feeling Like "I Don't Belong"

    Most men think porn addiction is about lust, lack of discipline, or not wanting freedom badly enough. It’s not. In this episode of the No More Desire Podcast, I sit down with Jordan Castille, a coach who works with men navigating pornography addiction, shame, and same-sex attraction, to have a conversation most recovery spaces still avoid. We talk about how bullying, rejection, and emotional trauma can shape a man’s relationship with porn long before he ever understands what’s happening inside him. For many men, porn addiction isn’t driven by pleasure — it’s driven by pain, isolation, and the deep belief that “something about me is wrong.” Jordan shares his personal story of growing up in a conservative faith environment, experiencing same-sex attraction, enduring bullying, and using porn as a way to cope with shame and loneliness. Together, we unpack how trauma wires the nervous system, how sexual desire becomes symbolic, and why trying to “just stop” porn use often backfires. This episode goes beyond surface-level advice and into the root causes of porn addiction, including identity confusion, emotional neglect, and the unmet need for belonging. We also explore how healing happens not through suppression, but through understanding, self-leadership, and healthy connection with other men. If you’ve ever felt broken, abnormal, or alone in your struggle with pornography addiction — this conversation will change how you see yourself. In this episode, we explore: Why porn addiction is often a trauma response, not a moral failureHow bullying, shame, and rejection shape compulsive porn useThe connection between trauma and porn addiction in menSame-sex attraction, identity, and pornography addictionWhy sexual triggers are signals, not enemiesHow shame and isolation fuel porn addiction relapse cyclesUsing triggers as trailheads for healing instead of fighting themMasculinity, belonging, and emotional healing for menHow parts work and nervous system regulation support recoveryA healthier, shame-free framework for overcoming porn addictionThis episode is for men who are tired of white-knuckling, tired of feeling defective, and ready to understand why porn has had such a hold on their lives — and how real, lasting porn addiction recovery actually works. You’re not weak. You’re not broken. And you’re not alone. Explore more of Jordan's work at: https://www.castillecoaching.com/  Link to Blog Article for this Episode If you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You’ll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart. Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life Support the show No More Desire

    1h 15m

  8. 12/29/2025

    126: Grieving Your Porn Addiction: The Unexpected Emotional Process You Must Go Through and the Step Most Porn Recovery Programs Miss

    If you’ve ever said to yourself, “Porn ruined my life” — but still find yourself going back to it — this episode is for you. For years, I believed quitting porn was about discipline, willpower, and avoiding temptation. But what I eventually discovered — both in my own recovery and in my work with men — is that porn addiction isn’t just about pleasure. It’s about attachment. And often, it’s an attachment not only to pleasure… but to pain. In this episode, I explore a side of porn addiction recovery that almost no one talks about: grieving your porn addiction. Whether you realize it or not, porn has likely been a relationship in your life — a companion you turned to for comfort, escape, connection, control, or relief from emotional pain. And when you try to quit porn without understanding what it’s been doing for you emotionally, your nervous system resists. That’s why porn cravings feel so powerful. That’s why relapse feels inevitable. And that’s why so many men stay stuck in shame-based cycles. We dive deep into the psychology and neuroscience of porn addiction, including: Why your brain can become attached to both pleasure and punishmentHow early emotional wounds and trauma shape porn useWhy your sexual fantasies aren’t random — and what they reveal about unmet emotional needsHow attachment to familiarity (even painful familiarity) keeps porn addiction aliveWhy willpower alone fails — and what actually leads to lasting recoveryI also walk you through a step-by-step emotional process for grieving porn — not shaming it, not white-knuckling it, but understanding it — so you can finally leave it behind without fear, self-hatred, or constant relapse. If you’re tired of fighting yourself…  If you feel disconnected from your body, your relationships, or your purpose…  If quitting porn feels harder than it “should”… You’re not broken. And you’re not weak. You may simply be trying to walk away from something your nervous system believes it still needs — without honoring the grief underneath it. This episode will help you understand: What porn has been symbolically trying to give youWhat you’re afraid of losing if you let it goAnd how to meet those needs in ways that actually align with who you areThis is porn addiction recovery rooted in psychology, emotional healing, and compassion — not fear or control. Listen in, and let’s talk about the real path to freedom. Link to Blog Article for this episode If you’re looking for deeper support and real connection in recovery, I’m opening the No More Desire Brotherhood on January 15th. The pre-launch is open right now, and when you join you’ll get free lifetime access to my 4 Pillars of Recovery mini-course, plus exclusive pre-launch bonuses. You can learn more and join here: https://www.nomoredesire.com/prelaunch Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life. Support the show No More Desire

    40 min
See All (133)

4.5
out of 5
35 Ratings

About

What have you tried so far to quit porn? Accountability buddies, talk therapy, internet filters, church or religious programs, or mindfulness techniques to 'get rid of cravings'… Many of these have merit, but they're often missing key elements for long-lasting sobriety. It isn’t enough to just “stop watching porn”. Porn addiction is a symptom of deeper, underlying challenges that I address using evidence-based psychological and behavioral practices.My mission isn't just to help people overcome porn addiction, but to give them each step to establish a recovery mindset and lifestyle. This is done using hands-on, daily exercises that retrain the brain and forge new habits that last a lifetime. Once this mindset and lifestyle are established, the desire for porn naturally fades. To discover how to stop porn addiction, join my Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program at nomoredesire.com/program

Information

You Might Also Like