The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations

DeborahKat
  • 5.0 (7)
  • Sexuality
  • Updated Semimonthly

Sit down with Tantra teacher and professional Dominatrix Deborah Kat as she interviews experts in sex, intimacy and relationship. These rich and dynamic conversations share each guest's wisdom, caution and encouragement to support you to have the Better Sex you crave!

  1. New Episode: What Men Should Know About Women: Insights From A Male Escort with George Goulburn

    1d ago

    New Episode: What Men Should Know About Women: Insights From A Male Escort with George Goulburn

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with George Goulburn, a professional companion for women, about what he has learned from moving out of the boardroom and into the bedroom. George brings a thoughtful and grounded perspective on intimacy, attention, consent, safety, and what many women are longing for, so that you can better understand how slowing down, listening, and receiving a no with grace can create more trust, connection, and pleasure. George shares how years of dating, relating, and listening to women eventually led him into this work, and why so many of his clients are not necessarily looking for sex first. Often, they are craving affection, presence, confidence, touch, and the rare experience of being fully seen. We talk about why women over 50 can feel invisible in dating and desire, why attention is an erotic skill that can be practiced, and why foreplay begins long before bodies touch. Along the way, we explore consent, people-pleasing, boundaries, and the importance of being able to trust someone's no as much as their yes. George offers a clear and generous perspective on what men often miss, including the need to slow down, stay curious, ask better questions, and understand that pleasure is not a performance. This episode is an invitation to treat sex as something natural, beautiful, relational, and worth learning how to do well. Better sex isn't a trick. It's a practice.

    57 min
  2. How to Stop Losing Yourself in Love and Sex with Lorina Manzanita

    Jun 12

    How to Stop Losing Yourself in Love and Sex with Lorina Manzanita

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with somatic intimacy coach and trauma resolution practitioner Lorina Manzanita. We talk about the hidden cost of always attuning to someone else, and how learning to receive nourishment can open the door to more pleasurable, connected sex and relationships. Lorina shares how her work grew out of her own experience of growing up highly attuned to everyone else's emotions, needs, and boundaries while losing track of her own. Throughout the conversation, we talk about overgiving, self abandonment, nervous system regulation, erotic nourishment, and how expanding what we think of as sex can help us create more satisfying and connected intimacy. In this conversation, Lorina shares practical ways to begin receiving more pleasure and nourishment, including somatic resourcing, paying attention to what feels pleasurable, and noticing the places where your body starts to shut down or contract when things feel too good. We also talk about desire gaps in relationships, the fear of saying yes when it might lead to more than you want, and how both partners can practice creating more safety, spaciousness, and honest connection. This episode is an invitation to widen your sense of what nourishes you, build more capacity for pleasure, and learn how to stay connected to yourself while opening to another person. Website: https://integratingeros.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lorinamanzanita/ A free mini course https://integratingeros.com/nourished-mini-course/nourished-welcome Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    33 min
  3. Beyond Technique: The Art of Loving Dominance with Master Hines

    May 29

    Beyond Technique: The Art of Loving Dominance with Master Hines

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with longtime BDSM educator, mentor, and professional dominant Master Hines. We explore what power exchange can teach us about desire, trust, presence, and the kind of connection that makes sex and relationships feel more alive.   Master Hines shares how he first found his way into BDSM through a desire to become a better lover, and how mentorship, community, and decades of experience shaped his approach to dominance. Throughout the conversation, we talk about the changes in the BDSM community over time, the difference between topping and dominance, what makes a powerful scene, and why good BDSM is not about the toy, the technique, or the performance, but the quality of connection between the people involved.   In this conversation, Master Hines shares his perspective on loving dominance, rough body play, primal play, authority exchange, and the deep responsibility that comes with holding power in an intimate space. We also explore how BDSM can create catharsis, healing, and a kind of spiritual presence when people feel safe enough to be fully in their bodies and fully with each other. This episode is an invitation to look beyond the surface of kink and understand BDSM as a practice of love, attention, trust, and deeply embodied connection Connect with Hines Website: https://lovingdominance.com/ Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    51 min
  4. Where Your Desire Went and How to Get It Back with Julie Merriman

    May 14

    Where Your Desire Went and How to Get It Back with Julie Merriman

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with sex counselor, educator, and author Julie Merriman. We explore what happens to desire when you have spent years taking care of everyone else while your own body, pleasure, and sense of aliveness slowly fade into the background. Julie shares how her work grew out of decades of supporting women through burnout, along with her own experience of hitting that wall in midlife and finding her way back to feeling again. Throughout the conversation, we talk about the shame so many people carry around sex, how a dysregulated nervous system shuts down desire, and why so many women end up in performance instead of actually experiencing pleasure. In this conversation, Julie shares simple ways to begin reconnecting with your body, including awareness practices and what she calls pleasure mapping as a way to rediscover sensation without pressure. We also talk about fake orgasms, honesty in relationships, and how intimacy deepens when you start telling the truth about what you actually feel and want. This episode is an invitation back into your body, where desire, connection, and pleasure can come back online in a way that feels honest and alive. Connect with Julie Website: https://www.juliemerrimanphd.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dr.juliemerriman/  A free Gift The desire Fire Reset https://rebrand.ly/yuhuhuq Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    46 min
  5. What It Means To Be A Man Right Now with Geoff Laughton

    Apr 17

    What It Means To Be A Man Right Now with Geoff Laughton

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Men's Coach and Co-Founder of The Undaunted Man, Geoff Laughton. We explore what's really happening for men right now when it comes to desire, identity, and connection, and why so many relationships can look fine on the outside while feeling disconnected underneath. Along the way, we spoke about how Geoff's own journey through burnout, long-term partnership, and decades of working with individuals and couples shaped his perspective. Throughout the conversation, we explore how relationships move through different phases over time, how parenting and life stress impact intimacy, and why many couples find themselves disconnected after years of putting everything else first. We also get into what he calls the "masculine dilemma," including how men navigate changing expectations, disconnection from purpose, and confusion about what it means to be a healthy man today. Geoff shares what he sees in his work with men around loneliness, people-pleasing, and lack of direction, and we talk about what actually helps—community, self-awareness, and reconnecting with both strength and emotional depth. If you've found your relationship shifting over time, or you've questioned desire, connection, or how to show up as a partner today, this conversation offers a clear way to understand what's happening and how to move forward. Connect with Geoff  Website: www.theundauntedman.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theundauntedman/ A free e-book called Solving The Masculine Dilemma www.theundauntedman.com/path Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    1h 4m
  6. Marriage, Motherhood, and the Myths We Inherit

    Apr 10

    Marriage, Motherhood, and the Myths We Inherit

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with intimacy and relationship coach Marga Bardinski. Together, we explore how relationships evolve over time, how identity shifts through major life transitions like marriage and parenthood, and what it really means to create intimacy on your own terms. Throughout the conversation, Marga shares her journey into motherhood and how it challenged her assumptions about identity, partnership, and autonomy. Along the way, Deborah reflects on her own experience of preparing for marriage after decades in partnership, unpacking the unexpected beliefs and conditioning that surfaced. Together, they examine how roles like "wife," "partner," and "mother" carry inherited meaning and how those meanings can be questioned, reshaped, or released. In this conversation, Marga speaks to the importance of slowing down, listening to the body, and developing the courage to express desire clearly. She also highlights the role of conscious choice, whether in relationships, parenting, or personal identity, and the power of creating frameworks that support connection, curiosity, and growth. Marga offers us a grounded approach using embodiment, communication, and the ongoing practice that is required to build intimacy that is honest and alive throughout a long-term relationship so that you can stay connected to yourself while building deeper, more authentic relationships. Connect with Marga  Website: https://www.turnonnl.com/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/turnon_the_netherlands/ Newsletter: https://turnonnl.activehosted.com/f/93 Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    1 hr

  7. Mar 18

    Why Receiving Pleasure Feels So Hard (And How to Change It) with Darshana Avila

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with trauma-informed somatic educator, practitioner, and speaker Darshana Avila. We explore why receiving pleasure can feel so hard—and what begins to shift when you learn how to come back into your body and your truth. Along the way, we spoke about how her early experiences in marriage, spirituality, and sexuality led her to question the disconnect so many of us feel. Through her journey into tantra, trauma work, and somatic practice, we explore how identity, conditioning, and lived experience shape our capacity to receive, not just give, in intimacy. We also get into how people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and a lack of felt safety in the body make it difficult to stay present with pleasure. Darshana shares what it actually takes to build that internal sense of safety, and we talk about how receiving is a skill you can learn—not something reserved for a lucky few. If you've ever found yourself over-giving, disconnecting during intimacy, or unsure how to let yourself fully receive, this conversation offers a grounded and practical way back—to your body, your pleasure, and your power. Connect with Darshana Website: https://darshanaavila.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@darshana-avila  Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935  
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox 
https://deborahkat.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=428b26a12a8810bb5012792c3&id=ff89fb0d94

    48 min

  8. Mar 10

    Sex After Menopause: Why Midlife Couples Struggle with Mark Platten

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with men's work leader and founder of the Integral Man Institute Mark Platten. Mark shares how his decades of work guiding men through rites of passage—and his lived experience walking alongside his wife through menopause—led him to focus on the often-overlooked transition midlife couples face when bodies, identities, and sexual dynamics begin to shift. Throughout the conversation, Mark and I explore how menopause and andropause reshape intimacy in long-term relationships, why so many couples feel blindsided by these changes, and how unspoken expectations about sex can quietly erode connection. Along the way, we talk about the archetypal transitions men move through in midlife, the emotional impact of hormonal changes for both partners, and why so many couples find themselves struggling to navigate this phase without guidance. Mark shares insights from his work with men about upgrading the "tools" we bring into relationship as we age—moving from youthful patterns of fixing, performing, or proving ourselves into deeper connection, communication, and vulnerability. We also discuss how honest conversations about desire, aging bodies, and shifting needs can open the door to a richer and more intimate phase of relationship after menopause. This conversation offers a grounded and compassionate look at a stage of life that many couples experience but rarely talk about—and how facing it together can deepen intimacy rather than end it. Connect with Mark Website:  https://integral-man-institute Gift: 5 Conversations All Midlife Couples Need to have -https://integral-man-institute.mykajabi.com/Conversations-for-Midlife-Couples  Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935  
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox 
https://deborahkat.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=428b26a12a8810bb5012792c3&id=ff89fb0d94

    51 min
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5
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

Sit down with Tantra teacher and professional Dominatrix Deborah Kat as she interviews experts in sex, intimacy and relationship. These rich and dynamic conversations share each guest's wisdom, caution and encouragement to support you to have the Better Sex you crave!

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