The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations

DeborahKat
  • 5.0 (7)
  • Sexuality
  • Updated Semimonthly

Sit down with Tantra teacher and professional Dominatrix Deborah Kat as she interviews experts in sex, intimacy and relationship. These rich and dynamic conversations share each guest's wisdom, caution and encouragement to support you to have the Better Sex you crave!

  1. 21h ago

    When Your Mind Wants Sex but Your Body Doesn't with Dr. Kyle Hulsebus

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with health and human potential specialist, author, educator, and third-generation chiropractor Dr. Kyle Hulsebus about what happens when your mind wants sex but your body doesn't quite follow along. We talk about the connection between physical health, the nervous system, intimacy, and our capacity for pleasure. Throughout the conversation, Dr. Kyle shares how his understanding of health as a state of wholeness shapes the way he works with the body. We talk about stress, pain, nervous system patterns, touch, aging, and some of the ways physical tension and communication between the brain and body can affect sexual response, arousal, and connection. Along the way, we get into erections, orgasm, sexuality after 40, and why intimacy doesn't have an expiration date. Dr. Kyle also shares his 40 Over 40 approach to health and longevity, including why "make love" is one of his 40 practices and how connection, communication, and intimacy fit into a bigger picture of health and well-being. This episode is an invitation to think about better sex as part of your whole health, and to get curious about what your body may be communicating when desire is there but your physical response isn't quite matching it. Connect with Dr Kyle Gift 40 over 40 https://www.instagram.com/the40over40/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the40over40/ Website: https://drkylehulsebus.com Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a Relationship Roadmap Session with Deborah Relationship Roadmap Session

    When Your Mind Wants Sex but Your Body Doesn't with Dr. Kyle Hulsebus

  2. Oct 10

    Men, Fantasy & Shame: What They Don't Say Out Loud with PepperKat

    Book a Relationship Roadmap Session with Deborah Kat In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with adult industry creator, former television news producer, and host of The Spicy Spectrum, PepperKat, about what men really say about sex, desire, fantasy, and relationships when they feel safe enough to tell the truth. Through years of private conversations with men, PepperKat has had a unique window into the desires, fears, secrets, and questions many men don't feel comfortable sharing anywhere else. We talk about shame, fantasy, porn, bisexuality, kink, performance pressure, sexual compatibility, and why men's sexuality is often far more complex than we assume. We also explore what it means to listen without judgment, replace assumptions with curiosity, and create conversations where people can be more honest about what they want. This episode is an invitation to get more curious about desire, less attached to what sexuality is "supposed" to look like, and more willing to have the honest conversations that make deeper intimacy possible. Connect with Pepper Kat  Pepper's Perspective: https://www.pepperkat.com/heartfelt-perspectives Instagram: @peppertheblackkat YouTube: @spicyspectrumpodcast  Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a Relationship Roadmap Session with Deborah Relationship Roadmap Session

    Men, Fantasy & Shame: What They Don't Say Out Loud with PepperKat

  3. Sep 17

    How to Date Without Abandoning Yourself with Shana James

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with relationship coach and author Shana James, creator of Honest Dating and author of Honest Sex: A Passionate Path to Deeper Connection and Keeping Relationships Alive. Together we explore how honesty can change the way we date, create chemistry, and build relationships where we can be fully ourselves.   Throughout the conversation, Shana shares what she discovered when she started dating again after divorce and why her experience felt so different from the exhausting, disappointing process so many people describe. We talk about the pressure to perform on dates, the belief that chemistry either magically exists or it doesn't, and what becomes possible when we approach another person with curiosity instead of trying to prove that we're desirable or worthy of being chosen.   Shana offers powerful insights from her Honest Dating work, including the shift from proving to choosing, from fantasy to reality, and from anxious attraction to conscious attraction. She explains how "mature honesty" helps us speak more clearly about what we want without blaming or making the other person wrong, and how being willing to communicate can actually create more intimacy, chemistry, and pleasure rather than taking the mystery away.   This episode is an invitation to stop abandoning yourself in the search for love and discover what can happen when dating becomes less about being chosen and more about honestly creating connection. Connect with Shana James Website  https://shanajamescoaching.com/ Podcast: Practicing Love: Have the Best Love and Sex of Your Life After 40 Challenged by love? Take a Quiz:  What Keeps You From Having the Best Love and Sex of Your Life After 40? What Blocks You From Finding Love? Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    How to Date Without Abandoning Yourself with Shana James

  4. Aug 15

    Reclaiming Pleasure After Sexual Trauma with Annette Benedetti

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with sex educator, intimacy coach, podcaster, and sexual assault survivor Annette Benedetti about something we don't talk about nearly enough: what pleasure and sexuality can look like after sexual trauma. Together, we explore the stories we're told about how survivors are "supposed" to feel about sex, and what becomes possible when we stop putting people's sexuality into those boxes. Throughout the conversation, Annette shares pieces of her own story, including what it was like to still deeply want sex and pleasure after assault, and how she began to understand the ways trauma was still showing up in her body years later. We talk about numbness, pain, dissociation, shame, trust, kink, consent, different kinds of orgasm, and why curiosity about what your body actually wants can change so much. Annette shares how she uses pleasure to rebuild trust with the body so that you can reconnect with sensation, desire, and your own sexual self on your terms. This episode is a rich, honest conversation about healing, pleasure, and letting go of the idea that what happened to you gets to decide what your sexuality looks like now. Connect with Annette  Website  talksexwithannette.com  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/annettebenedetti/ Free Gift  365 Days of Orgasms Journey https://talksexwithannette.com/365-days-of-orgasms/ Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    Reclaiming Pleasure After Sexual Trauma with Annette Benedetti

  5. Jul 31

    Ask for What You Want: Assertiveness and Better Sex with Dr. Michael Pariser

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with mental health coach, psychologist, and psychoanalyst Dr. Michael Pariser about assertiveness, intimacy, and why asking for what you want can feel so vulnerable. During our conversation, Michael shares how his own experience with "nice guy syndrome" led him into the work of helping people get more honest about what they feel, what they like, and what they want. Along the way, we talk about the difference between being nice and being kind, why pleasing can turn into resentment, and what happens when we expect our partners to know what we want without ever actually saying it. Michael also breaks down what assertiveness is and what it is not. It is not aggression, and it is not passivity. It is the practice of standing in your own desire while also making room for the other person's truth. We explore how that shows up in everyday life, in long-term relationships, and especially in the bedroom, where the stakes can feel higher and the vulnerability can feel even more intense. By the end, we come back to one essential truth: better sex is not about mind reading. It is about honesty, intimacy, communication, and learning how to ask for what you want with more courage and care. Connect with Dr Micheal Website https://drpariser.com/ Assertiveness Course on Udemy https://www.udemy.com/course/the-assertiveness-formula/ Book: No More Mr. Nice Guy: The Hero's Journey, A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming an Integrated Male:   https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/no-more-mr-nice-guy-dr-michael-pariser/1137496205 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drmichaelpariser Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    Ask for What You Want: Assertiveness and Better Sex with Dr. Michael Pariser

  6. Jul 16

    From Good Girl to Pleasure-Lit Woman with PleasureLit Patricia

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with PleasureLit founder, bestselling author of The PleasureLit Way, host of PleasureLit with Patricia, and award-winning pleasure educator PleasureLit Patricia. Together we explore what happens when women stop performing, people-pleasing, and managing everyone else's needs and begin reconnecting with the pleasure that lives in their body. Patricia shares how leaving a DV marriage led her to reclaim her body, voice, boundaries, and pleasure. Along the way, we talk about body safety, nervous system regulation, breath, movement, sound, and the transition from being stuck in the mind to being able to actually receive sensation and pleasure. We also explore why so many women self-abandon, how the "good girl" learns to function instead of feel, and what changes when receiving becomes part of the pleasure loop. Patricia shares her perspective on full-body yes, full-body no, and the important middle ground of "let's try it," along with the ways kink, BDSM, and pleasure toys can support exploration, communication, and embodied choice. This episode is an invitation to come back home to your body, stop treating pleasure like something you have to earn, and remember that better sex is not about performance. It is about safety, communication, receiving, and practice. Connect with Patricia Book: https://www.amazon.com/Pleasurelit-Way-transformational-sensuality-mindfulness/dp/1764120876/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pleasurelit.patricia/ Free Workshop to reconnect with your body Join Substack:  https://pleasurelitwithpatricia.substack.com Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    From Good Girl to Pleasure-Lit Woman with PleasureLit Patricia

  7. Jul 3

    New Episode: What Men Should Know About Women: Insights From A Male Escort with George Goulburn

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with George Goulburn, a professional companion for women, about what he has learned from moving out of the boardroom and into the bedroom. George brings a thoughtful and grounded perspective on intimacy, attention, consent, safety, and what many women are longing for, so that you can better understand how slowing down, listening, and receiving a no with grace can create more trust, connection, and pleasure. George shares how years of dating, relating, and listening to women eventually led him into this work, and why so many of his clients are not necessarily looking for sex first. Often, they are craving affection, presence, confidence, touch, and the rare experience of being fully seen. We talk about why women over 50 can feel invisible in dating and desire, why attention is an erotic skill that can be practiced, and why foreplay begins long before bodies touch. Along the way, we explore consent, people-pleasing, boundaries, and the importance of being able to trust someone's no as much as their yes. George offers a clear and generous perspective on what men often miss, including the need to slow down, stay curious, ask better questions, and understand that pleasure is not a performance. This episode is an invitation to treat sex as something natural, beautiful, relational, and worth learning how to do well. Better sex isn't a trick. It's a practice.

    New Episode: What Men Should Know About Women: Insights From A Male Escort with George Goulburn

  8. Jun 12

    How to Stop Losing Yourself in Love and Sex with Lorina Manzanita

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with somatic intimacy coach and trauma resolution practitioner Lorina Manzanita. We talk about the hidden cost of always attuning to someone else, and how learning to receive nourishment can open the door to more pleasurable, connected sex and relationships. Lorina shares how her work grew out of her own experience of growing up highly attuned to everyone else's emotions, needs, and boundaries while losing track of her own. Throughout the conversation, we talk about overgiving, self abandonment, nervous system regulation, erotic nourishment, and how expanding what we think of as sex can help us create more satisfying and connected intimacy. In this conversation, Lorina shares practical ways to begin receiving more pleasure and nourishment, including somatic resourcing, paying attention to what feels pleasurable, and noticing the places where your body starts to shut down or contract when things feel too good. We also talk about desire gaps in relationships, the fear of saying yes when it might lead to more than you want, and how both partners can practice creating more safety, spaciousness, and honest connection. This episode is an invitation to widen your sense of what nourishes you, build more capacity for pleasure, and learn how to stay connected to yourself while opening to another person. Website: https://integratingeros.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lorinamanzanita/ A free mini course https://integratingeros.com/nourished-mini-course/nourished-welcome Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    How to Stop Losing Yourself in Love and Sex with Lorina Manzanita
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About

Sit down with Tantra teacher and professional Dominatrix Deborah Kat as she interviews experts in sex, intimacy and relationship. These rich and dynamic conversations share each guest's wisdom, caution and encouragement to support you to have the Better Sex you crave!

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