Foster Parent Well

Nicole T Barlow
  • 5.0 (22)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

Foster Parent Well is the go-to podcast for foster and adoptive parents who are navigating the complexities of parenting children with trauma while trying to stay sane in the process. Hosted by Nicole T Barlow, a foster and adoptive mom of six, and parent trainer, this podcast is where faith, resilience, and practical strategies come together.  If you're feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, or just plain exhausted from the daily realities of foster care and adoption- you're not alone. Here, we have real conversations about the hard stuff: attachment struggles, secondary trauma, parenting beyond behaviors, and the deep emotional weight of loving kids from hard places. But we also talk about you- your health, your nervous system, leaning into Jesus, and the small, sustainable ways you can care for yourself so you can keep showing up for your kids.  Expect practical tips, faith-based encouragement, expert insights, and zero sugarcoating- just real, honest talk about what it takes to foster well, adopt well, and most importantly, stay well in the process.  Because parenting kids with trauma is a marathon, not a sprint, and you were never meant to run it alone.  🎧 Subscribe now and let’s do this together! 

  1. 21h ago

    How Foster And Adoptive Parents Can Advocate in the School with Jennifer Jolly

    We talk through what it really takes to advocate for foster and adoptive kids at school without turning every meeting into a battle. We share a trauma-informed lens for reading behavior, partnering with teachers, and building plans that support nervous systems instead of rewarding or punishing survival responses.  • why back-to-school transitions hit trauma-impacted kids harder  • Jennifer’s adoption story and how TBRI reshaped her parenting and school work  • the Four Rs of trauma-informed care and what “trauma-told” looks like  • why systems protect systems and how teacher constraints affect support  • fight flight freeze fawn fib as stress signals, not character flaws  • why home and school can see different behaviors from the same child  • co-regulation ideas to share with school staff and what to ask for  • scaffolding safe alternatives for unsafe behaviors without being permissive  • how progress often shows up as proximity frequency duration before intensity  • compassion fatigue in both parents and educators and how gratitude helps  Before we go, make sure you check the show notes for all the links that Jennifer mentioned today.  And hey, if you missed last week's episode on transition, go back and give it a listen. TBRI:  https://child.tcu.edu/tbri/  TBRI Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-tbri-podcast/id1566206875  Empowered to Connect: https://empoweredtoconnect.org/  Empowered to Connect Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/empowered-to-connect-podcast/id1522355545  Robyn Gobbel: https://robyngobbel.com/  The Baffling Behavior Show: https://robyngobbel.com/podcast/  Dr Lori Desautels: https://revelationsineducation.com/  Connect with me on Instagram:      @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165  Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

  2. Aug 12

    Smoother Transitions For Foster and Adoptive Kids with Dr. Brandy-Lea McCombs

    The fastest way to turn a peaceful day into chaos is a simple transition: shoes on, screens off, cleanup time, bedtime. For foster parents and adoptive families, those small pivots can hit like a tidal wave, and it’s easy to wonder why a child who seems “fine” suddenly spirals. We’re opening season four with a practical, hope-filled conversation on transitions and why trauma makes change feel so hard.  Dr. Brandy-Lea McCombs joins us with deep experience in education and trauma strategies, plus her own perspective as an adoptive mom. Together, we unpack what’s happening in the brain during transitions, including executive function demands and the role of the prefrontal cortex when kids have lived through stress, chaos, and loss of control. We also talk honestly about holidays, moves, school routines, and the long arc of growing up when a child’s developmental age doesn’t match the number on their birthday.  You’ll walk away with concrete, trauma-informed parenting tools you can use right away: pre-talk that doesn’t overwhelm, side-by-side “walk and talk” conversations, visual supports like calendars and checklists, countdowns and timers that build trust, predictable routines, color coding, and night-before prep to make mornings calmer. We also explore how to slowly scaffold independence without stripping away the supports that help kids succeed, and how faith can live alongside science when we’re setting expectations for obedience and regulation.  If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a foster or adoptive parent who needs steadier days, and leave a review so more families can find this support. Ways to connect with Brandy: Email: mccombsb@nsuok.edu  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stl234/ Connect with me on Instagram:      @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165  Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

  3. May 13

    An Honest Guide To Foster Parenting with Dr. John DeGarmo and Jen Lilley

    Foster care is one of those topics people say they care about until the details feel too heavy. That’s exactly why I wanted this conversation with Dr. John DeGarmo and Jen Lilley to be unfiltered, practical, and full of hope, because foster parenting is hard, kids in care are real, and vague inspiration is not enough when a placement call comes at 10:30 at night. John brings decades of foster care advocacy and training, and Jen brings the raw, lived experience of fostering and adoption while raising kids and using her public platform to shine a light on child welfare. We talk about their book, Call to Foster: An Honest Guide to Getting Started, and who it’s for: the person quietly wondering “Could I do this?”, the foster parent on the edge of burnout, and the social worker who needs a resource that tells the truth without scaring good people away. We name the myths that hurt families, especially the “you must be a superhero” narrative, and why it can pile on shame when you’re already stretched thin. We also dig into why awareness equals advocacy, how trauma impacts kids for years, and why this work deserves urgency in every community. Faith is woven through the conversation in a way that stays honest about suffering and big emotions. We share what foster care has taught us about control, surrender, resilience, and finding support that actually helps. If you’re considering fostering, already in the trenches, or looking for a concrete way to support foster families, you’ll walk away with language, perspective, and next steps you can use today. Subscribe for more real foster care conversations, share this with a friend, and leave a review telling us what stood out to you. Called to Foster: https://a.co/d/00WC1p2e Visit The Foster Care Institute:  https://www.drjohndegarmofostercare.com/index.html Dr. John’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100078889265859  Jen Lilley Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen_lilley?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==  Jen Lilley’s Website: https://www.jenlilley.com/  Halo Project: https://haloprojectokc.com/  Connect with me on Instagram:      @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165  Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

  4. May 6

    Honest Foster Care Advocacy

    The hardest seasons are the ones we want to hide, and they are often the ones other foster parents most need to hear about. We are coming to you from the messy middle, where trauma meets puberty, where kitchens are loud, and where you can love the people under your roof with your whole life and still feel like you have nothing left to give. If you have ever thought, “I cannot encourage anyone right now because I am barely surviving,” this conversation is for you. May is National Foster Care Awareness Month, and we wrestle with a real question: how do we recruit, advocate, and invite others in without selling a highlight reel? Polished foster care advocacy can isolate families who are struggling and can give future foster parents unrealistic expectations. We talk about a faith-filled “both and” framework: foster care is hard and holy, grief and gift, exhausting and sacred. We also name the reality underneath adoption and reunification, and why telling the truth can actually build trust and reduce shame. You will leave with practical, trauma-informed ways to advocate without oversharing: tell one true thing, reframe the ask so people can support through respite care, meal trains, rides, tutoring, mentoring, court advocacy, and donations, and invite questions instead of applause. We also get honest about sustainability, because rest is advocacy, and a burned-out foster parent is not a recruiter. If you are considering fostering, we share the clearest counsel we know: expect cost, expect Jesus, and do not do it alone. Subscribe to the Foster Parent Well Podcast, share this with one person who needs it, and if it helped, leave a review so more foster, kinship, and adoptive families can find steady support. Connect with me on Instagram:      @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165  Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

  5. Mar 18

    Five Common Parenting Messages That Do Not Fit Foster And Adoptive Homes

    Five parenting “truths” get repeated so often they start to sound like gospel: let them be bored, they should sit through church, eat what I make, obey right away, and don’t worry because kids are resilient. But when you are fostering, adopting, or parenting children impacted by trauma, those messages can pile on pressure and leave you wondering why your home feels harder than everyone else’s. I share why that disconnect is not proof you are doing it wrong. It is often proof the advice was not made for your child’s nervous system, history, or needs. We talk about why boredom can feel like a lack of safety, how structure and predictability can reduce chaos, and what scaffolding unstructured play can look like in real life. We also dig into faith spaces, including the unspoken expectation that kids should “perform” in big church. I explain why church should be a place of connection, how movement breaks and gradual exposure can be wise, and how spiritual formation happens far beyond the sanctuary. You will also hear a personal story that reframes what growth and sanctification can look like over time. Then we move into two everyday battlegrounds for many foster and adoptive parents: food and obedience. We explore why food is often about trust, control, and sensory needs, plus practical ways to offer safe foods without turning dinner into a war. Finally, we challenge the idea that resilience is automatic and replace it with a trauma informed view: resilience is built through consistent care, safe relationships, and support. If you are craving permission to parent differently and still feel confident you are doing good work, press play, then subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more foster and adoptive parents can find this space. Connect with me on Instagram:      @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165  Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

  6. Feb 25

    Encouragement for Foster and Adoptive Parents with Pastor James Griffin

    Quiet, unseen moments often carry the greatest weight in foster care: packing lunches, sitting in courtrooms, driving to visits, and praying in the dark when no one’s clapping. We open with a moving reunification story—a true sending where a mom and baby are wrapped in prayer, gifts, and a promise of ongoing community—and use it to reframe what impact actually looks like over the long haul. Pastor James Griffin of Cross Point City Church joins us to share why their church mobilized around foster care and adoption through a biblical, personal, and local lens. We talk about the call to care for the vulnerable, the role of grandparents and spiritual family in breaking cycles, and the practical reality that hundreds of kids nearby need trauma-aware, loving homes. James lays out a path for anyone discerning their role: start with prayer, seek wise counsel, and consider joining a care community to support a foster family before taking the licensing plunge. Along the way, he returns to a simple but freeing reset—our job is faithfulness; God’s job is fruitfulness. We also get honest about the grind. Why do so many families burn out? Isolation. Together we unpack habits that protect endurance: prayer as a daily confession of weakness, leaning on a church community that refuses to let families carry the weight alone, and embracing the long game of Galatians 6:9—do not grow weary in doing good, because a harvest will come. From baptisms across foster, adoptive, and biological families to ministries reshaped by trauma-informed care, we trace how quiet yeses ripple into visible change and generational restoration. If you’re on the fence, this conversation offers tangible first steps and a vision big enough to overcome fear. If you’re exhausted, it’s a reminder that you are seen, supplied with daily grace, and never meant to do this alone. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs courage today, and leave a review to help more families find hope and practical support. Crosspoint's Website Instagram: @pastorjamesgriffin and @crosspointcity Facebook: Crosspoint City Church Connect with me on Instagram:      @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165  Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

  7. Feb 18

    How We Honor Birth Families While Telling The Whole Story

    What if the hardest conversation in your home could become one of the most healing? We sat down with licensed clinical social worker and adoptive mom Susan Paa to talk about how to speak with kids about their biological families in a way that is honest, compassionate, and hopeful. No scripts that erase pain. No platitudes that glamorize harm. Just grounded wisdom you can use tonight. We unpack the core lens that changes everything: compassion. When we learn the wider context behind addiction, domestic violence, mental health, poverty, and generational trauma, our language shifts from blame to dignity without excusing unsafe behavior. Susan shares why phrasing like recovery is possible matters, how to honor birth family humanity, and simple ways to affirm kids daily—You have your mom’s eyes; your dad’s creativity is in you—so trust is present before heavy truths arrive. Timing matters, too. Drawing on Erikson and Piaget, we explore why ages eight to ten can be the best window to share a child’s full story: before abstract thinking blooms and identity turbulence hits, facts land as facts and integrate with less shock. We cover how to address sexual trauma wisely by first teaching a healthy framework for bodies, consent, and God’s design, then layering detail with care. Along the way, we model both-and thinking: you can love your first family and name what wasn’t safe; you can miss them and feel secure here. You won’t get every word right. You can still create a home where every person in your child’s story is spoken of with truth and honor. Listen for concrete language, timing cues, and a faith-shaped posture that holds dignity and safety together. If this served you, subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a foster or adoptive parent who needs fresh courage today. Find Susan on IG: @paasusan1 Replanted Conference: https://replantedconference.org/ Connect with me on Instagram:      @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165  Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

  8. Feb 11

    Foster Care, Infertility, And Healing with Cristiana Amato

    A tender, necessary conversation about where infertility, foster care, and faith collide—and how to walk that road with honesty and hope. We welcome writer and foster/adoptive mom Cristiana Amato (The Feathered Nest Blog) to share what seven years and 39 placements have taught her about grief, reunification, adoption, and the kind of love that stays when outcomes aren’t ours to control. We start by naming the ache of infertility and why healing needs to come before fostering. Cristiana explains how an infertility diagnosis initially pointed her toward adoption, and how pre-service classes and prayer shifted her family toward fostering with open hands. Together we unpack why foster care isn’t a cure for infertility, how unprocessed grief can unintentionally sabotage reunification, and why comments like “Just adopt and you’ll get pregnant” miss the mark for families with complex medical realities. We close with practical guidance for those considering fostering after infertility: commit to prayer and therapy, clarify motives, prepare to champion reunification, and build support systems before saying yes. If you’ve ever wrestled with calling, grief, and what’s best for kids, this conversation offers candor, nuance, and hope. If the episode speaks to you, share it with a friend, leave a review, and join us as we keep learning to foster parent well. Blog thefeatherednestblog.com Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/1BbQWHjUkz/?mibextid=wwXIfr Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thefeatherednestblog TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@thefeatherednestblog Connect with me on Instagram:      @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165  Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

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About

Foster Parent Well is the go-to podcast for foster and adoptive parents who are navigating the complexities of parenting children with trauma while trying to stay sane in the process. Hosted by Nicole T Barlow, a foster and adoptive mom of six, and parent trainer, this podcast is where faith, resilience, and practical strategies come together.  If you're feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, or just plain exhausted from the daily realities of foster care and adoption- you're not alone. Here, we have real conversations about the hard stuff: attachment struggles, secondary trauma, parenting beyond behaviors, and the deep emotional weight of loving kids from hard places. But we also talk about you- your health, your nervous system, leaning into Jesus, and the small, sustainable ways you can care for yourself so you can keep showing up for your kids.  Expect practical tips, faith-based encouragement, expert insights, and zero sugarcoating- just real, honest talk about what it takes to foster well, adopt well, and most importantly, stay well in the process.  Because parenting kids with trauma is a marathon, not a sprint, and you were never meant to run it alone.  🎧 Subscribe now and let’s do this together! 

Information

  • Creator
    Nicole T Barlow
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    77
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Foster Parent Well
  • Show Website
    Foster Parent Well

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