Marriage iQ

Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings
  • 5.0 (23)
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  • UPDATED SEMIWEEKLY

Most couples were never taught how to build a great marriage. They were just told to work at it. But what actually works? Marriage IQ is a relationship podcast hosted by marriage and sex researcher Dr. Heidi Hastings and physician Dr. Scott Hastings. Each episode blends relationship science, real stories, and practical tools to help couples improve communication in marriage, deepen intimacy, rebuild trust, and resolve conflict. If you want a stronger, more connected marriage, this podcast is for you. New episodes every Tuesday.

  1. Episode 123 - Why Saying "I'm Sorry" Too Much Hurts Marriage

    2D AGO

    Episode 123 - Why Saying "I'm Sorry" Too Much Hurts Marriage

    Why saying “I’m sorry” too much can hurt your marriage. In this episode of Marriage iQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings explore “apology inflation”—how unnecessary apologies can quietly erode respect, blur responsibility, and create emotional imbalance in relationships. Using research, personal stories, and cultural examples like Princess Diana, Meet the Parents, and the viral “All About the Nail” video, they reveal why many people apologize even when they’ve done nothing wrong. You’ll learn the difference between empathy and responsibility, healthier alternatives to filler apologies, and how the Marriage iQ cornerstones—identity, intentionality, insight, and intimacy—can strengthen communication in your relationship. 👉 Viral YouTube video “All About the Nail” : https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg?si=wQ7UaVroTqkS4nCh SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠

    26 min
  2. Episode 122 -The Surprising Benefits of Anger in Marriage

    MAR 10

    Episode 122 -The Surprising Benefits of Anger in Marriage

    Anger in Marriage might be the emotion you’ve been taught to avoid—but what if it’s actually a powerful tool for deeper connection? In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings sit down with anger expert Davina Hehn to explore the surprising benefits of anger in marriage and how to harness anger without aggression. You’ll learn why anger can act as a compass pointing to unmet needs, how couples get trapped in reactive conflict cycles, and the simple skills that transform anger into clarity, boundaries, and healthier communication. If anger has ever scared you, confused you, or damaged connection in your relationship, this conversation may completely change how you see it. 👉 Mentioned in this episode: Episode 12 :https://open.spotify.com/episode/0X4XnfkUQkwpRZ4u79Sr9d?si=jaP_O_woR4W90r5FaLx_Kw CONNECT WITH DAVINA HEHN :🔗 Website: www.asteadyspace.com SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠

    46 min
  3. Episode 121 - Grief Almost Broke Us

    MAR 3

    Episode 121 - Grief Almost Broke Us

    Grief Almost Broke Us - and we didn’t see it coming. After the deaths of Heidi’s parents just weeks apart, we found ourselves navigating overwhelming grief, secondary losses, emotional reactivity, reduced intimacy, and serious miscommunication in our marriage. In this episode, we unpack the stages of grief, the emotional and physical symptoms of loss, how partners grieve differently, and what research says about healing, prolonged grief, and recovery timelines. If you’re coping with loss, supporting a grieving spouse, or wondering why your marriage feels distant after a death in the family, this conversation offers practical tools, hope, and validation. Grief is natural - but without awareness and support, it can quietly strain even strong relationships. 👉 Mentioned in this episode: I Can Do This With Her: Jim and Cheryl Hastings' Story of Transcending Stress and Grief 🧠 Deep Dive Resources: 📖Conscious Grieving: https://a.co/d/07z3WLJm📖On Grief and Grieving: https://a.co/d/0iizC7vk📖On Death and Dying: https://a.co/d/0hwAqp4J SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠

    43 min
  4. Episode 120 - Proposal Pro Secrets for Spicing Up Your Marriage

    FEB 24

    Episode 120 - Proposal Pro Secrets for Spicing Up Your Marriage

    Proposal Pro Secrets for Spicing Up Your Marriage aren’t just about popping the question—they’re about learning how to romance your spouse again and reignite passion long after the wedding day. In this episode, proposal planner Ash Fox (3,000+ proposals and host of The Proposal Podcast) reveals how polarity, vulnerability, and intentional pursuit can transform an ordinary marriage into something electric. You’ll hear how “re-proposals” after decades together bring back spark, why being chosen still feels powerful, and how leading with courage makes romance sexy again. We break down practical marriage tips you can use this week—create surprise, plan meaningful moments, communicate expectations, and craft experiences your spouse will never forget. If your relationship feels predictable, these proposal pro secrets will help you spice up your marriage and fall in love all over again. Connect with Ash Fox : 🔗 Website: ⁠⁠⁠ashfoxphotography.com 🔗Here’s the book our guest highly recommended : "Your Blueprint for Pleasure" SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠

    45 min
  5. Episode 119 - Emotional Hypocrisy is Fueling Marital Inequality

    FEB 17

    Episode 119 - Emotional Hypocrisy is Fueling Marital Inequality

    Emotional Hypocrisy is Fueling Marital Inequality—and you might be contributing to it without realizing it. If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I the only one trying?” this episode may gently (or not so gently) challenge that assumption. In many marriages, double standards quietly shape emotional labor, communication patterns, and resentment. We want closeness, attention, and intentional love—but excuse our own defensiveness, contempt, or silent scorekeeping. In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings unpack how emotional hypocrisy distorts perception, how bias and mind-reading fuel inequality, and how to stop keeping score before resentment hardens into distance. (And to be clear: abuse is never condoned and requires a different response.) If this hits a nerve, don’t shut it down—lean in. Share this with your spouse, schedule a 20-minute check-in, and choose one behavior you will change this week. That’s how healthy marriages shift. That’s how intelligent spouses lead. SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    37 min
  6. Episode 118 - The Love Doctor's 3-Step Happiness Formula for Marriage

    FEB 10

    Episode 118 - The Love Doctor's 3-Step Happiness Formula for Marriage

    What if happiness in marriage—and in your family—isn’t about trying harder… but talking smarter? In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings sit down with Anil Gupta, aka The Love Doctor, to unpack his viral Happiness Formula and why most people think they’re doing it—while quietly missing the point. We dive into why loving families still struggle with hard conversations, how avoidance sneaks into marriages and parenting, and what actually makes crucial conversations work with your spouse, kids, and family. This isn’t therapy-speak. It’s practical, honest, and occasionally uncomfortable—in the best way. If you’ve ever thought, “Why does talking to the people I love most feel so complicated?”—this episode is for you. 🎧 Listen now and raise your Marriage IQ (and maybe your family’s too). Connect with Anil Gupta : 🔗 Website: ⁠⁠meetanil.com 📘 Get Anil's book : " Immediate Happiness" SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download Anil Gupta’s FREE Perfect Dinner Conversations Guide (PDF) here: https://www.marriageiq.com/s/Anil-Gupta-PDF.pdf FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠

    55 min
  7. Episode 117 - How to Reduce Anxiety and Become Comfortable With Uncertainty

    FEB 3

    Episode 117 - How to Reduce Anxiety and Become Comfortable With Uncertainty

    If you are feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty, discover how the simple word "maybe" can reduce your anxiety and open the door to new possibilities. In a world filled with unpredictability, it is easy to get stuck in rigid thinking that fuels stress. In this episode of Marriage iQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings are joined by attorney and author Allison Carmen to discuss the surprising power of uncertainty. Allison shares how embracing ambiguity - rather than fearing it - can offer the flexibility needed to navigate life’s complexities. We delve into practical strategies for coping with the unknown and explore how maintaining an open mindset can be a catalyst for personal growth. Connect with Allison Carmen : 🎙️ Podcast : ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/10-minutes-to-less-suffering/id1295280626⁠ 🔗 Website: ⁠allisoncarmen.com⁠⁠ SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠

    56 min
  8. Episode 116 - 3 Shocking Facts About Keeping Secrets From Your Partner

    JAN 27

    Episode 116 - 3 Shocking Facts About Keeping Secrets From Your Partner

    You might think hiding small things protects your spouse to "keep the peace," but science shows those unshared truths are actually corroding your relationship's foundation like a hidden leak. In this episode of Marriage IQ, Dr. Scott and Dr. Heidi Hastings utilize relationship research to uncover why quiet emotional distance is often fatal to a marriage, even more so than explosive fights. They dive into the psychology of cognitive dissonance, reveal the top three secrets married couples hide from each other, and explore the devastating impact of unintentional gaslighting on a partner's mental health. If your marriage feels distant, flat, or unsafe due to a lack of transparency, join us to learn the courageous, practical steps needed to move from defensiveness to ownership, repair broken trust, and rebuild true intimacy. RESEARCH:Slepian, M. L., & Moulton-Tetlock, E. (2018). Confiding Secrets and Well-Being. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 10(4), 472-484. National Marriage Project (multiple large-scale marital satisfaction studies) SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies

    42 min
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5
out of 5
23 Ratings

About

Most couples were never taught how to build a great marriage. They were just told to work at it. But what actually works? Marriage IQ is a relationship podcast hosted by marriage and sex researcher Dr. Heidi Hastings and physician Dr. Scott Hastings. Each episode blends relationship science, real stories, and practical tools to help couples improve communication in marriage, deepen intimacy, rebuild trust, and resolve conflict. If you want a stronger, more connected marriage, this podcast is for you. New episodes every Tuesday.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    127
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 495868
  • Show Website
    Marriage iQ

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