Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love

Pure Desire Network
Pure Desire Network
  • 4.8 (43)
  • Christianity
  • Weekly

Since 2016, Ashley Jameson and Heather Kolb have supported, educated, and equipped women to experience sexual health, healing from betrayal trauma, and success in relationships. We know what it’s like to be in crisis—searching for answers—and continually hearing the churchy answer. Each week, you’ll hear real talk about sex and relationships from a biblical and clinical perspective.

  1. 1d ago

    125 - Breaking Free From Gaslighting, Manipulation, and Secret Lives

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer the following questions: I’m healing from years of sexual betrayal, and now I’m also experiencing spiritual betrayal as my husband has left our shared faith and is pursuing a different religion. How do I process this loss and know whether there is still hope for our marriage?After 30 years of addiction and repeated deception, I’m struggling to believe my husband can truly recover and become honest. How realistic is lasting recovery, and are there resources that can help someone learn to recognize and practice genuine honesty?We’re six months into recovery, and because my husband’s betrayal involved fantasy and a lack of intimacy, extended periods without sex actually trigger my fears. How should we approach the recommendation to abstain from intimacy for 90 days?If you'd like your questions answered on Unfiltered, send them to us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. Resources: Jason Martinkus' Site Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  2. Oct 27

    124 - How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer the following questions: What are some resources or tips on how to talk to children about masturbation? As parents, we weren’t educated about it, and we don’t want it to be a shaming conversation, but it is awkward.I found something on my child’s phone that made me realize they may be experimenting with sexual content. I’m scared and don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to ignore it. How do I have that first conversation in a way that keeps the door open for honesty?I want to teach my kids about healthy sexuality, but I’m not sure how much to say or where to start. I don’t want to make the conversation awkward or overwhelming, but I also don’t want them learning about sex from the internet or their friends. Where do I begin?If you'd like your questions answered on Unfiltered, send them to us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. Resources: Parent Training Course How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex Book Youth Leader Library Girl Talk  Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  3. Oct 20

    123 - How to Know If He’s Truly Changing After Betrayal

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer the following questions: - I’m six months into my husband’s second attempt at recovery, and I’m afraid he may be sober without truly addressing the underlying issues. How can I know he’s genuinely pursuing lasting recovery? - I feel detached from my feelings and marriage after years of disclosures and broken trust. How can I honestly know whether I want to stay, especially when hope, fear, and wanting to do the right thing make me feel like I don’t have a choice? - After my husband’s disclosure, I confided in his parents and initially felt supported. Now they’re telling me to trust God, forgive, and stop being suspicious. How do I respond when I no longer feel safe confiding in them? If you'd like your questions answered on Unfiltered, send them to us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  4. Oct 13

    122 - Finding the Meaning Behind My Sexual Behaviors

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer the following questions: - As a woman who struggles, I carry so much shame about it. Sometimes I wonder if this behavior says something terrible about who I am. How do I separate my identity from my struggles and begin healing without being consumed by shame? - I've noticed that my sexual behaviors often increase when I feel lonely, rejected, stressed, or emotionally overwhelmed. I know the behavior isn’t really meeting the need underneath it, but I still keep going back to it. How do I learn to recognize and respond to those deeper needs differently? - I’ve realized that a lot of my sexual behavior is connected to wanting to feel attractive, desired, or validated by other people. Even when I know I’m crossing boundaries, that attention can feel incredibly powerful. Why do I crave that validation so much, and how do I begin changing that pattern? If you'd like your questions answered on Unfiltered, send them to us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  5. Oct 6

    121 - Realistic Expectations for Sex Addiction Recovery

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer the following questions: - Since in recovery, I see some changes in my husband, but I still experience defensiveness, blame-shifting, and a lack of empathy. I’m struggling to know if I’m expecting too much. Can true recovery happen without accountability, emotional safety, and genuine empathy? - I see my husband making meaningful recovery changes, but I’m concerned he still views sex—his “biological need”—as a solution to his addiction. How do we understand healthy sexuality, intimacy, and responsibility without placing his recovery on me? - Just as I was beginning to heal, I discovered my husband has had sexual fantasies involving my sisters and close friends. This level of betrayal feels deeper and seems different from masturbating to strangers. Is this common in addiction, and how do I recover from such a personal betrayal? If you'd like your questions answered on Unfiltered, send them to us at unfiltered@puredesire.org.   Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  6. Sep 29

    120 - The Painful Process of Rebuilding Trust

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I’m struggling to trust that my husband is being honest about relapses, especially when I don’t always know the truth. This is why we’re taking a break from sex. How can trust be rebuilt, and when is it healthy to reintroduce sexual intimacy into our marriage?Four months after discovery, I’m struggling to know what transparency should look like in recovery. How much should my husband share about his struggles, and how can trust grow if he says I’m not safe to tell?After our full disclosure, I was devastated. My husband is fully committed to recovery, and I see real change, yet I still want to leave. Can healing happen even when trust seems impossible to rebuild?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!   Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  7. Sep 22

    119 - How To Stop Sexually Acting Out

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I’ve been hiding my sexual behaviors for years, and I’m exhausted from living a double life. I love God and want freedom, but I keep falling back into the same patterns. How do I break the cycle of shame and believe lasting recovery is possible?I know my behaviors have hurt the people I love, and I want to be honest, but I’m terrified of the consequences. I don’t know how to balance taking responsibility with not overwhelming others. What does healthy honesty and disclosure look like in recovery?I’m beginning to realize my sexual behaviors have been a way of coping with loneliness, stress, and unresolved pain. If I take these behaviors away, I’m afraid of what I’ll be left to face. How do I heal the deeper wounds without returning to old coping mechanisms?If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  8. Sep 15

    118 - Finding Your Identity After Betrayal

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: After decades of sexual abuse and coercive control, I finally divorced. Even now, I struggle to believe I'm valued beyond sex and to feel safe. How can I heal from these deep wounds and reclaim my worth?My husband shows signs of change, but after years of him attacking my character and wanting physical connection, the emotional whiplash leaves me unable to trust. I’ve lost confidence in myself and feel like I’m barely surviving. How do I begin to heal?Is lasting sobriety from pornography actually realistic, or am I signing up for being retraumatized indefinitely with every relapse? I feel like every relapse cuts away at my soul and I’m losing myself in this battle. If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Resources: Register For The 2026 Summit Now! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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4.8
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43 Ratings

About

Since 2016, Ashley Jameson and Heather Kolb have supported, educated, and equipped women to experience sexual health, healing from betrayal trauma, and success in relationships. We know what it’s like to be in crisis—searching for answers—and continually hearing the churchy answer. Each week, you’ll hear real talk about sex and relationships from a biblical and clinical perspective.

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