Children First Family Law - Transforming how families navigate the challenging landscape of divorce.

Children First Family Law
  • 3.5 (11)
  • Society & Culture
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to *Children First Family Law*, a podcast dedicated to transforming the way families navigate the challenging landscape of divorce. In an industry too often focused on litigation, financial battles, and a war-like approach, we advocate for a radical shift in priorities—putting the well-being of children at the forefront. Join us as we explore how to handle divorce in a way that protects children from the collateral damage of parental conflict and legal battles. We offer resources, insights, and expert advice to help parents understand how to manage divorce without destroying their children’s future. By highlighting the flaws in the current system and providing a roadmap for a more compassionate approach, we aim to become thought leaders in this space, calling for change within the professional landscape of family law. We’ll discuss crucial topics like collaborative and amicable divorce, parental alienation, and navigating the complexities of domestic violence and child abuse within the legal system. Through candid conversations and expert guidance, *Children First Family Law* equips families to emerge from the brokenness of divorce with their children’s well-being intact—just like a beautiful stained glass window crafted from shattered pieces. If you’re asking yourself, ”How can I ensure my children aren’t destroyed by my divorce?” or ”Why does my lawyer always push for litigation?” this podcast is for you. Tune in, and let us guide you toward a healthier, more hopeful future for your family.

  1. 4d ago

    092: Top Reasons Parents Lose Custody in Colorado — And How to Protect Your Parenting Time

    In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista breaks down the leading reasons parents lose custody or experience restrictions on parenting time in Colorado. Drawing on her work as a child advocate and family law attorney, Krista explains how judges evaluate safety, stability, mental health, and co-parenting behaviors when deciding on parental responsibilities. She also reminds listeners that “losing custody” in Colorado rarely means a permanent loss of parental rights. Instead, it typically reflects temporary limits tied to a child’s best interests. Krista walks through the three most common categories that lead courts to restrict parenting time—safety concerns, parental unfitness or instability, and damaging co-parenting behavior. She illustrates each category with case patterns she has seen repeatedly in child advocacy work, including emotional abuse, unmanaged mental health issues, and behavior that undermines the child’s relationship with the other parent. She emphasizes that Colorado courts prioritize the child’s emotional and physical safety above all else, and that parents who take proactive steps, such as treatment, stable routines, and appropriate communication, can protect or rebuild their parenting time. For parents, professionals, and supporters, this episode serves as a clear and practical guide to navigating Colorado custody cases while centering children’s well-being. In this episode, you will hear: Safety issues that lead judges to restrict parenting time Behaviors that courts view as instability or parental unfitness Patterns of harmful co-parenting that damage custody outcomes Practical steps parents can take to protect and rebuild time with their children Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    092: Top Reasons Parents Lose Custody in Colorado — And How to Protect Your Parenting Time

  2. Jul 20

    091: Coercive Control, Accountability & Custody — A Deep Dive with Nil Buckley

    In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista welcomes Nil Buckley, a licensed professional counselor, licensed addiction counselor, and domestic violence clinical supervisor whose expertise bridges trauma-informed mental health, forensic evaluation, and family law. Nil is the founder of Vivas Counseling and Care Forensic Solutions and creator of The CARE Method, an evidence-based program now used in multiple states to support both survivors and offenders. Her background includes extensive work with the Colorado Department of Corrections, court-ordered treatment programs, and expert testimony in criminal and domestic relations cases. Drawing from this deep professional experience, Nil joins Krista to explore how coercive control and its related forms, including legal abuse, financial manipulation, and psychological coercion, show up in custody cases and family court. She explains that there are now 24 recognized forms of abuse in the global research literature, yet many family law professionals still focus only on physical harm. Nil’s work seeks to change that by educating judges, attorneys, and mental health providers about the full spectrum of domestic violence and its impact on children. The discussion also examines Colorado’s evolving domestic violence laws, such as Kayden’s Law, which aim to protect families better but can be challenging to implement consistently in court. Nil and Krista address the tension between holding offenders accountable and ensuring survivors aren’t further harmed by systems meant to safeguard them. They share real-world examples of how trauma, reactive behaviors, and legal complexity intersect in divorce and custody disputes and what professionals can do to create safer, more balanced outcomes. This conversation launches a continuing series on domestic violence and coercive control, setting the stage for future episodes with Nil that will dive even deeper into the realities of abuse, accountability, and healing in family law. In this episode, you will hear: Expanding definitions of abuse beyond physical violence How coercive control and legal abuse appear in custody disputes Why trauma-informed evaluations matter in family law cases The complexities of applying Kayden’s Law and related legislation How professionals can balance accountability with survivor protection The importance of continued education across courts and legal systems Resources from this Episode safersociety.org/nil-buckley-ma-lpc-lac-dvcs-ncc-acs www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    091: Coercive Control, Accountability & Custody — A Deep Dive with Nil Buckley

  3. Jul 6

    090: Who Keeps the Dog? Navigating Pet Custody in Divorce with International Expert Karis Nafte

    When families separate, deciding who keeps the dog can feel just as emotional as any other part of the breakup. In this episode, we explore why pet disputes become so charged and how to make decisions that truly prioritize both kids and animals. We walk through why it’s crucial not to treat pets like children in divorce, how their needs differ, and what happens when those lines get blurred. Karis explains how breed, personality, age, health, and history all factor into whether a dog can realistically move between homes, and why shared pet parenting often creates more stress than comfort for the animal. We also talk about cats, “roommate” animals, bonded pairs, and why territory matters so much. Parents, professionals, and pet lovers will learn practical ways to evaluate what’s actually best for the dog, how to structure trial arrangements, and how to balance children’s attachment with responsible, long-term planning for their four-legged family members. In this episode, you will hear: Emotional stakes of pet custody when families separate   Why pets should not be treated like children in divorce decisions   Warning signs that a pet is stressed by moving between homes   Structuring trial custody arrangements and contingency plans for pets   Balancing children’s attachment to pets with the animal’s best interests   Resources from this Episode https://www.whokeepsthedog.com/ Link to the book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Who-Keeps-Dog-Navigating-Custody/dp/1617812927/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1FZ5RBAJ965HI&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.LmWDiJYDbIW6rqEj5igpcg.QFgZQNsCn-YRAPD3Adzv_AT00lqniZlIsbCHr3IUy2s&dib_tag=se&keywords=book+who+keeps+the+dog+karis+nafte&qid=1728661858&sprefix=book+who+keeps+the+dog+karis+nafte%2Caps%2C370&sr=8-1 www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming, but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review,” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com. Let them know we sent you.

    090: Who Keeps the Dog? Navigating Pet Custody in Divorce with International Expert Karis Nafte

  4. Jun 29

    089: Balancing Evidence-Collection and Peacekeeping when Proving Child Safety Issues: An Interview with Author and Divorce Survivor Cheryl Palmar

    Join Krista on the Children First Family Law Podcast to explore the compelling story of Cheryl Palmar, a best-selling author in the United States and Australia who transformed her life despite the turmoil of a troubled marriage. In this episode, Cheryl shares her journey from heartache to empowerment, revealing the emotional and legal battles she encountered while navigating a marriage with a highly functioning alcoholic partner. Along the way, however, she found that with careful planning and evidence collection, she was able to accomplish and amicable divorce with a full settlement despite the potential that her case could have ended up as yet another story of toxic litigation. Cheryl's candid narrative offers insight into the complex process of securing a future for herself and her daughter. She discusses the importance of gathering evidence, seeking legal guidance, and the strategic steps she took to ensure their safety. Her experience highlights the necessity of having a strong support system and the courage required to initiate change. Beyond the legal aspects, Cheryl offers insights on healing and co-parenting. Her reflections on therapy and personal growth provide hope to others facing similar challenges. Cheryl’s book, "Erased: Exiting a Toxic Relationship," serves as a guiding light for those feeling trapped in toxic relationships, inspiring a path towards a healthier and more empowered future, and highlights ways to get the protections you need and want for your children even in ugly, risky situations through a careful approach to preparing for and executing your case. In this episode, you will hear: Cheryl Palmar's journey from a marriage with a functioning alcoholic to empowerment and healing. Emotional struggles and legal strategies in protecting her daughter and navigating divorce. Insights into gathering evidence, privacy concerns, and the importance of legal advice in substance abuse situations. Revelations about the balance of collecting evidence and the ability to approach a case peacefully and without extensive litigation – all through the power of incontrovertible facts, not allegations. The role of co-parenting, focusing on unity and the well-being of their child despite past conflicts. Discussion on the importance of therapy and personal growth after divorce. Cheryl's experience with sobriety testing agreements to ensure her daughter's safety during parenting time and decision making. Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com "Erased: Exiting a Toxic Relationship" by Cheryl Palmar available online on Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble Amazon: https://a.co/d/dnrbUMY Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/erased-cheryl-palmar/1144672044?ean=9781923123199 All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    089: Balancing Evidence-Collection and Peacekeeping when Proving Child Safety Issues: An Interview with Author and Divorce Survivor Cheryl Palmar

  5. Jun 22

    088: Screens, Smartphones, and Divorce: What Every Co-Parent Needs to Know with Kris Perry

    Childhood is being reshaped by screens, and co-parents are often on the front lines of that change. In this episode, we sit down with Kris Perry, Executive Director of Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development, to unpack what the research really shows about kids, tech, and two-home families. We explore how smartphones, social media, gaming, and even emerging AI companions affect children’s brain development, mental health, and capacity for real-world connection. Kris explains how conflicting technology rules between households can heighten conflict, confuse kids, and undermine healthy boundaries — and how co-parents can realign around child-centered guidelines. Listeners learn why struggle, experimentation, and face-to-face interaction are irreplaceable for healthy development, and why relying on devices or chatbots as “easy” solutions can quietly erode those experiences. The conversation offers research-backed, practical takeaways to help parents, co-parents, and family law professionals create consistent tech expectations that truly prioritize children’s long-term well-being. In this episode, you will hear: Biggest misconceptions parents have about kids and technology   Age and stage differences in screen use and brain development   Screen time vs. “what’s happening online” and why both matter   AI chatbots, digital companions, and the risks of kids anthropomorphizing machines   Dopamine, addiction-like patterns, and the impact on attention, mood, and joy   Resources from this Episode https://mailchi.mp/7391d300e044/children-and-screens-names-cali-gov-senior-advisor-as-first-executive-director  www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com. Let them know we sent you.

    088: Screens, Smartphones, and Divorce: What Every Co-Parent Needs to Know with Kris Perry

  6. Jun 15

    087: What Every Divorcing Parent Needs to Know About Toxic Stress and Children with Mindy Mitnick, Recipient of AFCC's 2026 Distinguished Service Award

    What if the way adults handle conflict during divorce could actually reshape a child’s developing brain? In this conversation, we talk with renowned psychologist and AFCC Distinguished Service Award recipient, Mindy Mitnick, about what toxic stress really is — and why every divorcing parent needs to understand it. Drawing on nearly five decades working with family courts, parenting time and decision making disputes, high-conflict separations, and complex parent–child dynamics, Mindy explains the crucial differences between positive, negative, acute, chronic, and toxic stress. She breaks down how ongoing conflict, fear, and instability can interfere with the development of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for impulse control, judgment, and problem-solving. Krista and Mindy also look closely at everyday moments that quietly shape a child’s inner world: how (and whether) parents talk to kids about divorce, what happens when one parent is subtly undermined, and how children end up emotionally caring for a distressed parent. Most importantly, listeners learn valuable ways to buffer children from harm. By the end, we understand not only what toxic stress does to children, but also how intentional choices by adults can protect kids’ emotional and neurological health, even in very hard seasons of family restructuring. In this episode, you will hear: The difference between positive, negative, acute, chronic, and toxic stress in children How toxic stress can affect a child’s brain development and long-term behavior Why “we never fight” divorces can still be deeply confusing and painful for kids Practical ways parents and professionals can build resilience around children How to talk about the other parent without causing hidden harm Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com. Let them know we sent you.

    087: What Every Divorcing Parent Needs to Know About Toxic Stress and Children with Mindy Mitnick, Recipient of AFCC's 2026 Distinguished Service Award

  7. Jun 8

    086: What to Look for in Therapeutic Resources for Your Children with Psychologist Dr. Kathleen McNamara

    Join us for an insightful discussion with Dr. Kathleen McNamara, a seasoned psychologist with nearly 40 years of experience, as she shares her expertise at the intersection of family law and psychology. In this episode of Children First Family Law, we delve into the intricacies of child-parent relationships, emphasizing the need to separate relationship issues from parenting logistics. Dr. McNamara's extensive career, spanning academia, clinical practice, and policy-making, enriches our exploration of child-centered strategies that place children's needs at the forefront in legal contexts. We examine the impact of recent legislative changes and the complexities surrounding terms like alienation and gaslighting. Dr. McNamara advocates for moving beyond labels to focus on specific behaviors and their effects on family dynamics. The episode also highlights Kayden's Law and the evolving role of best-interests attorneys – called Child Legal Representatives in Colorado – discussing the balance between safeguarding children and honoring parental rights. Throughout the conversation, we address the challenges of high-conflict divorces, stressing the importance of a stable parenting schedule and the guidance of experienced therapists. By encouraging communication, conflict resolution, and emotional resilience, we aim to assist families in transitioning from disputes to effective co-parenting. Our discussion, filled with expert advice and personal experiences, aims to inspire listeners to adopt child-focused approaches in the complex realm of family law. In this episode, you will hear: Exploring the intersection of family law and psychology with Dr. Kathleen McNamara Child-centered strategies and their importance in family dynamics The impact of recent legislative changes, such as Kayden's Law, on family law Challenges and strategies for managing high-conflict divorces and parenting schedules The role of language and behavior-focused approaches in understanding family dynamics The importance of emotional resilience, communication, and conflict resolution in co-parenting Insights into child advocacy, family rights, and the evolving role of best-interests attorneys – called child legal representatives in Colorado Resources from this Episode Dr. Kathleen McNamara’s website: kathleenmcnamaraphd.com www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    086: What to Look for in Therapeutic Resources for Your Children with Psychologist Dr. Kathleen McNamara

  8. Jun 1

    085: Colorado Child Relocation Laws: How Moving Affects Custody and Parental Rights

    In today’s episode of Children First Family Law™, Krista explores one of the most high-conflict areas in Colorado family law: relocation after divorce or custody orders. When one parent wants to relocate, whether within or outside the state, courts must decide what serves the child’s best interest, not the parent’s Krista walks through how Colorado handles relocation under C.R.S. §14-10-129, explains the difference between a parent's right to move and the right to move with a child, and addresses a common fear: Is it kidnapping to move without permission? She illustrates these issues with real-world case studies, one in which a parent left without notice, and another in which a parent followed every step legally. This solo episode covers the legal process, emotional impact, court standards, and how to keep children at the center of difficult relocation decisions. It’s a must-listen for any parent facing—or fearing—a move. In this episode, you will hear: Relocation means any move that significantly disrupts an existing parenting plan, not just moves across state lines Parents retain the right to relocate, but not the automatic right to move a child with them Colorado requires written notice, a proposed new parenting plan, and court approval under C.R.S. §14-10-129 Unauthorized relocation can result in contempt charges or emergency return orders, even without criminal charges Courts assess each relocation under the best interests of the child per C.R.S. §14-10-124 Long-distance parenting creates added costs and challenges—judges often assign travel costs to the relocating parent under C.R.S. §14-10-115(11) Emotional losses for children include missing friends, schools, and a parent’s daily presence Real case examples show why courts value transparency, cooperation, and early communication Key case law includes Spahmer v. Gullette, Ciesluk v. Ciesluk, In re Marriage of Martin, and DeZalia v. DeZalia   Resources from this Episode Relocation statute: C.R.S. 14-10-129: codes.findlaw.com/co/title-14-domestic-matters/co-rev-st-sect-14-10-129 Best interests of the child: C.R.S. 14-10-124: codes.findlaw.com/co/title-14-domestic-matters/co-rev-st-sect-14-10-124 Payment issues: C.R.S. 14-10-115(11), scroll way down to find (11): codes.findlaw.com/co/title-14-domestic-matters/co-rev-st-sect-14-10-115 Key Colorado caselaw around relocation: In re Marriage of Ciesluk: law.justia.com/cases/colorado/supreme-court/2005/04sc555-0.html Spahmer v. Gullette: law.justia.com/cases/colorado/supreme-court/2005/03sc751-0.html In re Marriage of Martin: callidusai.com/wp/ai/cases/2639358/in-re-the-marriage-of-martin In re Marriage of DeZalia: callidusai.com/wp/ai/cases/2638291/marriage-of-dezalia-v-dezalia www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    085: Colorado Child Relocation Laws: How Moving Affects Custody and Parental Rights
See All (93)

Trailer

3.5
out of 5
11 Ratings

About

Welcome to *Children First Family Law*, a podcast dedicated to transforming the way families navigate the challenging landscape of divorce. In an industry too often focused on litigation, financial battles, and a war-like approach, we advocate for a radical shift in priorities—putting the well-being of children at the forefront. Join us as we explore how to handle divorce in a way that protects children from the collateral damage of parental conflict and legal battles. We offer resources, insights, and expert advice to help parents understand how to manage divorce without destroying their children’s future. By highlighting the flaws in the current system and providing a roadmap for a more compassionate approach, we aim to become thought leaders in this space, calling for change within the professional landscape of family law. We’ll discuss crucial topics like collaborative and amicable divorce, parental alienation, and navigating the complexities of domestic violence and child abuse within the legal system. Through candid conversations and expert guidance, *Children First Family Law* equips families to emerge from the brokenness of divorce with their children’s well-being intact—just like a beautiful stained glass window crafted from shattered pieces. If you’re asking yourself, ”How can I ensure my children aren’t destroyed by my divorce?” or ”Why does my lawyer always push for litigation?” this podcast is for you. Tune in, and let us guide you toward a healthier, more hopeful future for your family.

Information