we are NOT the SAME

Heather Gardner and Lacey Joseph
  • 4.0 (4)
  • COMEDY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

We Are Not the Same: Join our comedic journey as Bodybuilder Barbie flexes her muscles against Daria’s dry wit! Dive into the hilarity of life’s twists and turns through the eyes of two contrasting besties who prove that different perspectives lead to the best stories. Tune in for laughs, randomness, and a sprinkle of chaos! 

  1. 4D AGO

    Bring A Gallon Of Milk And Do The Dishes

    Send a text Foreplay isn’t a single move. It’s the whole build, and when two people define it differently, everything downstream gets tense fast. We start with our usual real-life chaos and a ridiculous milk-as-a-meal moment, then shift into something more vulnerable: a family cancer update, the long drag of court delays, and what it feels like to finally be far enough removed from a bad situation to breathe again.  From there, we get honest about sex, libido, and why desire can disappear when the environment is wrong. We unpack the core mismatch we see everywhere: many men treat foreplay as physical warm-up, while many women experience arousal as emotional intimacy first, physical touch second. We talk orgasm reality, clitoral stimulation, confidence, and why getting defensive when your partner gives feedback is a guaranteed turn-off. We also call out porn myths and how “camera angles” have nothing to do with actual pleasure, consent, comfort, or connection.  To make it practical, we play a quick round of “foreplay or fake play” with everyday examples like flirty texts, chores, back rubs that turn into pressure, and what a real date night signals. The big takeaway is simple relationship advice that works: communicate your needs, learn your own body, and actively listen to your partner so desire can grow instead of being demanded. If you like honest conversations about foreplay, sexual desire, emotional connection, and building a healthier sex life, hit subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave us a review. - Support the show

    1h 4m

  2. MAR 9

    Imaginary Friends, Real Boobs, Zero Filters

    Send a text What happens when two best friends ditch the outline and say the quiet parts out loud? We grab a stack of questions and tumble through childhood memories, pop-star crushes, and the bizarre charm of reality TV before landing on the real stuff: effort as love’s currency, the masks we wear around sensitivity, and why resilience is earned in the dark long before it’s praised in the light. We get personal about body image and breast implants, separating health questions from cultural noise and choosing comfort without apology. Music debates—shuffle chaos versus curated vibes—turn into a map of compatibility, showing how tiny preferences mirror big relational patterns. We also talk sobriety and the quiet revolution that made mocktails mainstream, celebrating how options create dignity and ease for anyone choosing a different path. Along the way we name the needs we usually hide. One of us admits attention matters more than she lets on; the other confesses effort is the deal-breaker she won’t negotiate. We unpack why some compliments never land—being “only” pretty in narrow windows, or feeling like a good mom without a blueprint—and we practice saying the praise we actually believe about each other. If you’ve ever felt misunderstood by your own face, matched someone’s low energy to protect your heart, or wondered whether fame could fit alongside privacy, you’ll hear your echo here. Come for the laughs, stay for the honesty, and leave with better questions to ask your favorite person. If this hit home, tap follow, share it with a friend who needs it, and drop us the question you want us to answer next. Your stories make this space work. - Support the show

    51 min

  3. MAR 2

    We Tried A DIY Mental Health Reset And Learned Why Protocols Exist

    Send a text A catch-up turns confessional as we try to fix frayed nerves with an at-home ketamine session—and get a crash course in why protocols exist. We talk through the exact missteps that derailed it (no blindfolds, worded audio, late-night timing, no anti-nausea plan) and break down the real differences between IV infusions and front-loaded at-home doses. If you’ve ever reached for a mental health reset and made things worse, this is the compassionate post-game you need, complete with the fixes we’ll use next time: morning sessions, lyric-free music, proper fasting, Zofran support, and a fully controlled environment. Underneath the chaos sits the real reason we reached for a reset: finally opening the long-avoided “mother” file in therapy and feeling the nervous system spike—lost appetite, mental fog, and relentless rumination. We share how pairing ketamine-assisted work with therapy in a tight window can create safe distance from triggers, helping you process without drowning in fight-or-flight. It’s not magic; it’s a method that turns white-knuckle coping into clear-eyed integration. Then the ground shifts again with an urgent family crisis: a mother hospitalized with hemoglobin at 4.1 and a massive colon tumor discovered and removed with robotic surgery. We walk through the red flags, the surgery, the relief, and the lesson stamped in bold: preventive care matters. Colonoscopies save lives. Symptoms aren’t personality quirks; they’re data. Between hospital corridors and home routines, we also tackle body image during bodybuilding prep, movement as medicine for anger and anxiety, and the small habits—sleep, schedules, honest boundaries—that make big storms survivable. If you’ve been carrying too much and winging the rest, press play. You’ll find hard-won takeaways on mental health protocols, trauma processing, and the kind of preventive care that changes outcomes. And you’ll hear a lot of laughing, because joy is still our favorite coping tool. If this resonated, share it with a friend, subscribe for new episodes, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find us. - Support the show

    51 min

  4. FEB 16

    Golden Retriever Brain Vs Goblin Mode, Sponsored By Forgotten Laundry

    Send a text What happens when two friends with wildly similar ADHD energy try to “settle” who has it worse? We turn our habits into a game, take a few fast quizzes, and end up with two hilariously accurate archetypes: golden retriever brain and hyperfocus goblin. From paper planners and Google Calendar loyalty to object permanence fails and deadline sprints, we unpack the ways ADHD actually feels in a normal week—and where we quietly excel. We get honest about procrastination, time blindness, and that vibe-dependent moment when a task finally clicks. One of us swears by sleep discipline for training; the other admits to revenge bedtime procrastination and wholesome late-night TV. We explore how chaotic upbringings can turn into crisis superpowers—reading a room fast, staying calm under pressure, and triaging like a pro—while still wrestling with decision fatigue, emotional intensity, and the doom pile of laundry. You’ll hear real talk about tabs, routines that die young, and why motivation follows interest more than importance. This conversation isn’t clinical; it’s practical and personal. We share ADHD hacks that actually stick: pair boring tasks with music or podcasts, keep visual to-do lists under three items, use external reminders without shame, and treat deadlines as gentle pressure rather than panic fuel. If your brain runs on curiosity and dopamine more than strict discipline, you’ll feel seen—and you’ll leave with small systems that respect how attention really moves. Hit play, then tell us your archetype and the one hack you actually use. If this made you laugh or helped you feel understood, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review so more ADHD brains can find us. - Support the show

    53 min

  5. FEB 10

    Once The Ick Lands, You Can’t Unsee It

    Send a text A single moment can flip chemistry into nope—and once the ick lands, it’s hard to unsee. We dive headfirst into the subtle and not-so-subtle red flags that shut attraction down: hygiene failures, bedroom misfires, manipulative “jokes,” and the social media habits that feel like betrayal in slow motion. Along the way, we unpack why certain icks hit so hard: they’re not about perfection, they’re about values—self-care, honesty, and respect for your partner’s experience. We trade stories that are hilarious, cringe, and painfully real, from too-tight pants and curling toenails to post-hookup antics that nuke the vibe. Then we go deeper. Can an ick ever be fixed, or does the mind keep replaying the moment? We explore where change is possible—remove the trigger, rebuild trust—and where it isn’t, like lying in any form, weaponized incompetence, or turning “just joking” into a shield for cruelty. If your intimacy playbook skips foreplay, ignores consent cues, or treats sex like a solo mission, the ick isn’t prudishness—it’s self-protection. We also navigate the modern minefield of posting, liking, and privacy. There’s a difference between staying low-key and keeping someone a secret; between a friendly double-tap and feeding a stranger’s thirst. Context matters, and consistency matters more—who you are at home should match who you are in public. Our non-negotiables round it out: clean habits, clear communication, no lies, no games, and for some of us, no smoking or active substance use. Progress over perfection becomes the quiet north star: when actions align with care, the ick radar calms and connection can grow. If you laughed, nodded, or silently edited your dating list, you’re our people. Follow the show, share this episode with a friend who loves a good red flag autopsy, and leave a review to tell us your instant ick and why it never left. - Support the show

    58 min

  6. FEB 2

    One Of Us Got Run Over, Did Karaoke, And Bought A Vibrator

    Send a text Ever feel that snap when your patience finally gives out? We call it “crashing out,” and we get honest about how it shows up: the public blowups, the quiet spirals you hide at home, the friend-only vents, and the moments you wish you could take back. We share the messy, human stories—getting run over by your own car during a fight, stealing the karaoke mic on a wave of adrenaline, shattering a car window in rage—and then break down what those moments taught us about triggers, boundaries, and repair. We also explore the subtler crash: social media spirals that escalate post by post. You’ll hear the red flags we watch for, the rules we use to avoid late-night posting regret, and the small rituals that help us cool off fast. Relationships sit at the center of many crashes—jealousy, disrespect, being ignored—so we talk about calling out bad behavior without lighting the room on fire, and owning it when anger crosses into harm. There’s humor too, because life at home is a minefield of empty boxes in the pantry, missing scissors, and milk crimes that can tip you over the edge. What keeps us grounded now is a mix of structure and self-awareness: labeled tools, duplicate essentials, weekly return bins, ten-minute rage room sessions, and simple de-escalation steps like breathing, a walk, or a “sleep on it” rule. Growth looks like shorter meltdowns, less fallout, faster repair—and the courage to say sorry. If you’ve ever wondered why small things trigger big reactions, or how to land the plane before it hits the ground, this one’s for you. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who gets it, and leave a review with your favorite crash-out reset so we can try it too. - Support the show

    53 min

  7. JAN 29

    Two Besties Walk Into A Podcast And Forget The Agenda

    Send a text What happens when you hit record with a plan and end up somewhere more honest? We tumble from sound-check chaos into a raw conversation about identity, memory, and the weird science of hating your own recorded voice. That small cringe opens a bigger door: how we think we sound versus how the world hears us, and how that gap mirrors the distance between who we were and who we’re becoming. Our phones turn into time machines as we scroll old videos—ice packs under club dresses, drunk bravery, and the friendships that kept us upright when sleep and sense didn’t. The nostalgia is funny until it isn’t, because adulthood has its own gravity: five jobs, kids’ competitions, chronic back updates, compression socks, and careful budgets. One of us treats herself like a business—tracking progress, protecting her credit score, building tiny systems to make the day work. It’s not glamorous, but it’s realistic, and sometimes realism is the most compassionate path forward. Then the episode swerves into a moral knot that won’t let go: a viral Brazilian story where a married couple learns they’re siblings after 20 years and a child. We wrestle with the ethics and the human part—stay or split, redefine intimacy, seek genetic counseling, shield the next generation from risk. From there, a DNA test mix-up sparks six weeks of panic about who’s Dad—until a simple account setting restores reality and our sense of humor. Along the way, we compare coping styles (catastrophize vs confront), roast bloated self-help books, and design a saner book club with flexible attendance, genre variety, and just enough deadlines to keep us honest. We even plot a ghost-hunting birthday and negotiate for homemade bread, because accountability tastes better warm. If you’ve ever cringed at your own voice, carried a past self like a souvenir, or needed permission to build life in practical, unsexy steps, this conversation is your mirror. Subscribe, share with a friend who loves messy honesty, and leave a review with the one memory you’d keep exactly as it is. - Support the show

    54 min

  8. JAN 20

    From Choppelgangers To Goblin Mode: Trends, Lookalikes, And Laughs

    Send a text A stranger says you have a twin—and then sends a photo that’s a little too close for comfort. That’s where we start: with the “choppelganger,” the chopped-up version of you that’s somehow familiar and somehow… not. From there we tumble into the uncanny world of lookalikes, the math behind resemblance, and the subtle ways Hollywood and algorithms nudge us into face clusters that all start to blur. We trade stories of accidental twins, from teens finding mirror images on Instagram to the Margot Robbie lookalike vortex that proves how casting types shape what we think beauty is. A study pegging the odds of a convincing double at about one in 135 kicks off questions about identity, bias, and why a banana photo can haunt your feed for years. Then the vibe flips into a rapid tour of modern slang and culture: quiet quitting as a survival strategy, goblin mode as a comfort manifesto, riz as charisma-with-vowels-missing, and de-influencing as the rare antidote to hype. We argue about Labubu collectibles, call clogs “potato shoes,” and unpack how Champion leapt from bargain bin to near-luxury through pure brand alchemy. We also get real about pain and care. A stubborn back injury, muscle relaxers that underwhelm, and a dental anxiety spiral turn into a candid look at how bodies metabolize meds differently and how policy shifts leave everyday patients managing discomfort with humor and grit. We round it out with a playful self-audit—sunshine hurricane vs. grumpy cat energy, food goblin joy, and the thrill of spending when it’s finally allowed—that doubles as a friendship map. If you love culture decoded with heart and side-eye, this one’s for you. Hit play, then tell us: have you met your doppelganger, and which trend would you retire tomorrow? Subscribe, share with a friend who swears they saw your twin, and leave a review to help more listeners find the show. - Support the show

    53 min
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Ratings & Reviews

4
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

We Are Not the Same: Join our comedic journey as Bodybuilder Barbie flexes her muscles against Daria’s dry wit! Dive into the hilarity of life’s twists and turns through the eyes of two contrasting besties who prove that different perspectives lead to the best stories. Tune in for laughs, randomness, and a sprinkle of chaos! 

Information

  • Creator
    Heather Gardner and Lacey Joseph
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    67
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 we are NOT the SAME
  • Show Website
    we are NOT the SAME