What if your desire isn’t something to suppress… but something to understand? In this episode of Hey Tabi, I’m joined by therapist, researcher, and author Jay Stringer to explore what he calls the “civil war of desire.” Many trauma survivors experience deep internal conflict around sexuality, pleasure, food, intimacy, and even their relationship with God. We want connection — and fear it. We long for pleasure — and feel shame when we experience it. Why does trauma create this inner war? How do attachment wounds shape our sexual desire? What happens when purity culture, repression, or spiritual messaging distort our relationship with our bodies? Together, we unpack: How trauma shapes sexual arousal and desireWhy survivors often feel shame around pleasureThe impact of abuse and coercive control on embodimentThe difference between suppressing desire and forming itReclaiming healthy sexuality within Christian faithHow curiosity and compassion can replace secrecy and shameIf you’ve ever felt at odds with your own body or confused by your desires, this conversation will help you approach your story with clarity, courage, and hope. Desire is not the enemy. When understood, it can become a pathway to healing. Grab Desire: https://amzn.to/4scbzVf Find Jay: https://jay-stringer.com/ Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/ This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V 👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information! 📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi 📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process: 💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com 📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor 🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com 💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there 🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional. Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.