Car Ride Conversations For Sports Families

Valerie Alston
  • 4.8 (13)
  • Sports
  • Updated Weekly

The ultimate podcast for parents, coaches, and youth sport athletes who want to unlock the secrets to mental toughness, confidence, and resilience. Whether you're on your way to practice, a big game, or just tackling the daily grind, these bite-sized episodes are designed to spark meaningful conversations to equip young athletes with actionable tools to thrive in school, sports and life while building strong relationships with their parents, one car ride at a time. Hosted by Valerie Alston, former D1 athlete, sport psychology expert, and resilience coach, each episode dives into key topics like building effective self-talk, staying calm under pressure, and bouncing back from setbacks. With real-life stories, practical tips, and relatable insights, you'll discover how to support your youth sport athlete's journey while strengthening your connection along the way. Buckle up and join us for a ride full of inspiration, growth, and the skills needed to become Confident, Calm, and Clutch! Questions? Comments? Ideas? ✉️ Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me On: 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 ✨ For exclusive tips, tools, and updates, join my newsletter: 📬 https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

  1. 1d ago

    How to Take Feedback Without Losing Confidence

    How Athletes Can Take Tough Feedback Without Losing Confidence (Growth Mindset + Parent Tips) Valerie Alston discusses why fast-improving athletes learn to use coaching feedback without turning it into an identity statement, explaining that feedback can build confidence when viewed as information rather than a measure of worth. She introduces a growth mindset and attribution theory (internal vs. external, controllable vs. uncontrollable, stable vs. unstable) to help athletes interpret mistakes in ways that support learning, ownership, and future improvement, while noting some errors truly are out of one’s control. The episode encourages responding to feedback with curiosity instead of defensiveness, emphasizing that real confidence comes from competence and how athletes bounce back after tough moments. Parents are coached to normalize correction, show empathy, and ask reflective questions that help athletes process feedback productively, followed by four conversation prompts for families. 00:00 Feedback Builds Confidence 01:23 Why Athletes Resist Coaching 03:08 Growth Mindset Reframe 04:38 Attribution Theory Explained 07:47 Better Self Talk After Mistakes 10:47 Curiosity Over Defensiveness 12:22 Real Confidence Comes From Skill 14:18 Parents Guide The Process 15:42 Car Ride Discussion Questions 17:52 Final Takeaways And Next Steps Discussion questions: Think about the last piece of feedback you received from a coach. What was your first reaction? After thinking about it, was there something valuable you could learn from it?When something doesn't go well in your sport, what's the story you usually tell yourself? Is that explanation helping you grow, or is it holding you back?What's the difference between hearing "I made a mistake" and "I am a mistake"? Why do those two thoughts lead to very different levels of confidence?Parents: What's one way I can help you process tough feedback without immediately trying to fix the situation? Athletes: What kind of support helps you most after receiving difficult coaching? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    How to Take Feedback Without Losing Confidence

  2. Aug 10

    How Young Athletes Can Stop Overthinking and Start Playing Freely

    Stop Chasing Perfection: Compete With Purpose, Trust Your Prep (Ricky Scruggs) | Car Ride Conversations Host Valerie Alston continues her conversation with Ricky Scruggs on why many talented athletes struggle in games: they focus on doing things perfectly and on looking like a good player instead of remembering the objective—winning by accomplishing the goal of the sport. Scruggs shares lessons from baseball and motor learning about goal-oriented performance, trusting preparation, and avoiding mechanical overthinking during competition, emphasizing that perfectionism undermines progress and that highlight culture and social media distort expectations. He encourages parents to avoid extremes of overprotection or harsh pressure and instead use sports as a character-building vehicle that also fuels peak performance through purpose, relationships, and resilience. The episode ends with family discussion questions about goals vs. appearance, in-game thoughts, lessons sport teaches beyond mechanics, and how parents can best support healthy development. 00:00 Why Athletes Choke 01:16 Rule Book Reality Check 03:40 Goal Focus Beats Mechanics 06:35 Perfectionism and Social Media 08:37 Parenting for Character 11:34 Ricky Resources and Book 13:36 Family Discussion Questions 17:13 Wrap Up and Next Steps http://www.centerfieldcoaching.com/ Thanks for joining me on Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a youth sports coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    How Young Athletes Can Stop Overthinking and Start Playing Freely

  3. Aug 3

    The Secret to Loving Competition Without Letting It Define You

    Compete WITH, Not Against: Ricky Scruggs on Identity, Confidence & Loving Your Opponent Host Valerie Alston welcomes mental skills coach and former baseball player Ricky Scruggs to discuss a healthier approach to competition, identity, and team culture for young athletes and parents. Scruggs shares his path from record-setting hitter to JUCO World Series, Division I at UNLV, and independent ball, then into car sales and ultimately running a baseball academy for nearly 20 years, where he blended biomechanics with a mental skills model. He emphasizes that athletes often tie identity to results, creating pressure, and encourages separating self-worth from performance. Scruggs reframes competition as “seeking together,” aiming to bring out each other’s best, and highlights belonging, mission-focused mindset, collective responsibility, and strong teammates who challenge one another. Valerie closes with family discussion questions on competing with vs against, giving vs getting, healthy internal competition, and valuing relationships over results. 00:00 Rethinking Competition 00:54 Meet Ricky Scruggs 01:34 Ricky’s Athlete Journey 03:04 From Car Sales to Academy 04:29 Identity Beyond Results 05:47 James Bond Mission Mindset 07:48 Belonging Over Scholarships 10:20 True Meaning of Compete 12:23 Love Your Opponent 14:02 Teammates Push Teammates 17:59 Car Ride Discussion Questions 21:00 Final Takeaway and Wrap http://www.centerfieldcoaching.com/ Discussion questions: 1. Competition with vs. againstRicky talked about competing with your opponent instead of against them. What do you think he meant by that? How might that change the way you approach games? 2. What are you trying to give?When you step onto the field or court, what do you hope to give your teammates today? Encouragement? Energy? Leadership? Effort? How is that different from focusing only on what you hope to get? 3. Strong teammates challenge each otherHave you ever had a teammate who pushed you to become better? What did they do that helped you grow? How can healthy competition make an entire team stronger? 4. Relationships or results?At the end of your sports career, what do you think you'll remember more—the wins and losses, or the people you shared them with? What can we do now to make sure we're building both great memories and great relationships? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    The Secret to Loving Competition Without Letting It Define You

  4. Jul 27

    How to Stay Confident and Composed at Tryouts

    Tryout Confidence: Show (Don’t Prove) Yourself + Reset Fast After Mistakes Valerie Alston discusses how athletes and parents can approach upcoming school sport tryouts with a healthier mindset by shifting from “I have to prove myself” to “I get to show myself.” Drawing on conversations with coaches at the North Carolina Coaches Association, she emphasizes focusing on controllables—effort, coachability, communication, body language, hustle, decision-making, and how athletes respond to mistakes—rather than outcomes like roster spots or other players’ talent. She explains that coaches build teams and value character and dependability, offers strategies to reset after errors (breathe, use a cue, refocus), and warns against unhealthy comparison. She recommends defining success with three process goals and using a before/during/after mental plan, plus guidance for parents to reduce pressure and ask curiosity-based questions. 00:00 Tryout Confidence Reset 00:59 Why Tryouts Feel Heavy 02:44 Show Yourself Not Prove 04:32 What Coaches Really Pick 06:52 Control Your Evidence 08:12 Reset After Mistakes 10:29 Comparison Without Spiral 14:02 Define Success Process Goals 15:48 Three Part Mental Plan 19:01 Parent Pressure Off 20:29 Car Ride Questions 23:03 Wrap Up Next Steps Discussion questions: What part of tryouts usually creates the most pressure for you, and what thoughts tend to show up?What are three things you can control that would help coaches see the best version of you?What will your reset look or sound like after a mistake?How will you define a successful tryout even before you know the final decision? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    How to Stay Confident and Composed at Tryouts

  5. Jul 20

    Play to Win, Not Just to Lose

    Play to Win: How to Compete with Courage (and Beat Fear of Failure) Valerie Alston uses the France–England World Cup third-place match to explore why athletes often play freer once pressure is gone, suggesting fear of failure can lead to playing not to lose, conservative choices, and reduced creativity. She explains how pressure can narrow decision-making and disrupt momentum, and encourages parents and coaches to create psychologically safe environments where mistakes are treated as learning rather than punished. The episode emphasizes staying aggressive, generating momentum through controllables like effort, communication, and celebrating small wins, and adopting a “next play” mindset. Alston provides car-ride conversation prompts for families: when you play your best, what changes under pressure, how momentum shifts, and how you’d play if you weren’t afraid to fail, reinforcing that love and support shouldn’t depend on results. 00:00 Pressure Off Peak Play 01:11 World Cup Case Study 02:44 Fear Of Failure Trap 04:24 Parents Reduce The Stakes 05:26 Play To Win Mindset 07:28 Momentum You Can Create 08:41 Pressure Hurts Decisions 10:21 Bring Freedom To Big Games 10:53 Support The Show 11:27 Conversation Rules 11:46 Prompt One Best Performances 12:44 Prompt Two Under Pressure 13:32 Prompt Three Build Momentum 14:34 Prompt Four Fearless Play 16:50 Closing And Next Steps Discussion questions: 1. When do you play your best? Think about one of your best games or performances. What made you feel free to play your game? What was different about your mindset compared to days when you feel tight or afraid to make mistakes? 2. What changes when the pressure gets high? When the game gets close or the stakes get bigger, what changes first for you? Do you get quieter, rush your decisions, hesitate, overthink, or become more focused? How can recognizing that help you next time? 3. How do you create momentum? Can you think of a time when your team changed the momentum of a game? What happened first? Was it a big play, great communication, extra effort, positive energy, or something else? What can you do to help create positive momentum even if you're not the one scoring? 4. What would you do if you weren't afraid to fail? Imagine you knew you couldn't be criticized for making a mistake. How would you play differently? Is there one thing you've been holding back from trying that might actually help your team? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    Play to Win, Not Just to Lose

  6. Jul 13

    How to Stay Composed When the Game Gets Chaotic

    Overwhelmed in the Game? Simplify: 3 Ways to Reduce Mental Load and Play Your Best Host Valerie Alston explains how chaos in sports can overwhelm athletes by maxing out limited cognitive capacity, leading to slower processing, hesitation, rushed decisions, missed cues, and errors. Instead of trying to think more, she teaches listeners to simplify by focusing on “What’s important now?” and “What is my job for the next five seconds?” She shares three practical tools to reduce mental load: narrowing to a single controllable cue (“the win”), grounding in the present with “feet and breath” or a physical anchor, and using a practiced reset routine—release, refocus, respond. She also advises parents and coaches to avoid adding to athletes’ cognitive load with too many instructions, especially for younger kids, and offers a weekly challenge to build a personalized chaos-to-composure plan plus family discussion questions. 00:00 Simplify the Chaos 00:41 Meet the Host 01:54 Why Overwhelm Happens 04:23 Cognitive Overload Signs 06:09 Whats Important Now 08:45 Grounding in the Moment 12:22 Reset Routine Steps 15:48 Parents and Coaches Cues 18:31 Weekly Challenge Plan 19:49 Car Ride Questions 23:03 Wrap Up and Next Steps Discussion questions: What does it feel like in your body or mind when a game starts becoming too chaotic?What is one situation in your sport where you tend to think about too many things at once?When that situation happens, what could your ‘What’s Important Now?’ answer be?”What role do your parents play in adding to the chaos? Are there things they do during games that add to the chaos? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    How to Stay Composed When the Game Gets Chaotic

  7. Jul 6

    The Mental Game of the World Cup: Lessons Every Young Athlete Should Notice

    Watch the World Cup Differently: Mental Toughness Lessons for Young Athletes Valerie Alston challenges sports families to watch the World Cup by focusing on mindset rather than the ball, using knockout-round moments to teach mental toughness. She highlights how quickly momentum shifts in soccer and the importance of emotional flexibility—responding to the current reality and “playing the score on the scoreboard, not the one in your head.” She explains that pressure doesn’t require rushing, emphasizing deliberate routines and the cue “slow is smooth, smooth is fast.” She also discusses intentional body language after mistakes, composure late in games, and how top teams solve problems together through communication, encouragement, and solution-focused resilience. 00:00 Watch the Mindset 01:18 Momentum and Emotional Flexibility 03:26 Play the Scoreboard 04:37 Pressure Without Rushing 06:24 Slow Is Smooth 07:11 Body Language and Composure 09:33 Team Resilience Together 10:52 Watch for the Hidden Skills 11:53 Family Conversation Prompts 14:46 Wrap Up and Next Steps Discussion questions: When you watched the World Cup this week, who impressed you the most—not because they scored, but because of how they handled pressure?After you make a mistake in your sport, what does your body language usually communicate to your teammates?What's one situation in your sport where slowing down instead of speeding up would actually help you perform better?If someone watched only your attitude—not your statistics—what would they learn about you as a teammate? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    The Mental Game of the World Cup: Lessons Every Young Athlete Should Notice

  8. Jun 29

    How to Pay for College Without Losing Your Mind (or Your Money)

    How to Pay for College: Scholarships, FAFSA Timing, and Family Money Talks Valerie Alston and guest Shelly Howard discuss how sports families can fund college through early, honest conversations about what parents can contribute, whether loans are on the table, and the student’s role in earning merit scholarships. Howard explains four “buckets” of money, notes scholarships can be pursued as early as fourth grade, and emphasizes getting a clear estimate of what colleges expect you to pay using a Student Aid Index (SAI) calculator. She highlights that FAFSA considers not only income but where assets are held, and warns planning should start well before late junior year. The episode stresses that the biggest money can come from choosing the right, more generous college and from students building a strong “resume” of authentic leadership and activities. They offer conversation starters like the “millionaire” game to gauge values and financial literacy, and share resources including books and a 30-minute discovery call at collegereadyplan.info. 00:00 College Cost Wakeup 02:16 Funding Starts With Talk 04:46 Scholarship Buckets And FAFSA 08:07 Student Merit Mindset 13:19 Where To Find Scholarships 17:24 Family Money Talk Starters 18:20 Millionaire Game And Debt 23:03 Resources And Wrap Up www.collegereadyplan.info www.collegereadyplan.com Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    How to Pay for College Without Losing Your Mind (or Your Money)
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4.8
out of 5
13 Ratings

About

The ultimate podcast for parents, coaches, and youth sport athletes who want to unlock the secrets to mental toughness, confidence, and resilience. Whether you're on your way to practice, a big game, or just tackling the daily grind, these bite-sized episodes are designed to spark meaningful conversations to equip young athletes with actionable tools to thrive in school, sports and life while building strong relationships with their parents, one car ride at a time. Hosted by Valerie Alston, former D1 athlete, sport psychology expert, and resilience coach, each episode dives into key topics like building effective self-talk, staying calm under pressure, and bouncing back from setbacks. With real-life stories, practical tips, and relatable insights, you'll discover how to support your youth sport athlete's journey while strengthening your connection along the way. Buckle up and join us for a ride full of inspiration, growth, and the skills needed to become Confident, Calm, and Clutch! Questions? Comments? Ideas? ✉️ Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me On: 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 ✨ For exclusive tips, tools, and updates, join my newsletter: 📬 https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

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