Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse

JBWS / MC Robinson
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There is a culture of silence around the issue of domestic abuse and this podcast is here to break that silence. Run by members of JBWS, a domestic violence agency, Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse doesn't shy away from having difficult conversations about abuse to help others recognize that they may be in unhealthy relationships or using unhealthy behaviors themselves.

  1. FEB 24

    Is Location Sharing a Red Flag? When Location Tracking Becomes Control

    Location sharing has become a normal part of relationships for many people but is it actually a red flag? Is it possible to share your location in a healthy way?  In this episode of Unsilenced, JBWS staff member Mary Jane McCarthy explores: When asking for someone’s location becomes controllingThe difference between safety-based sharing and coercive controlHow constant location tracking erodes trustWarning signs that location tracking is rooted in abuseHow location sharing can escalate into digital stalkingWhy refusing to share your location is not suspiciousFrom teens in new relationships to long-term couples navigating boundaries, we break down how location tracking impacts trust, autonomy, and privacy. You’ll learn how to identify red flags, set healthy boundaries around technology, and recognize when tracking becomes a tool of control rather than care. While location sharing can be used responsibly, it can also normalize monitoring, suspicion, and other forms of abuse.   CONTENT: (0:00) Introduction (1:32) Basics of Location Sharing (4:26) Is Location Sharing A Red Flag? (8:54) How Long Before You Check Location? (12:40) Expectation of Availability (19:06) Length of Relationship Matters (24:03) Signs Location Sharing is Rooted in Control (37:55) Not Sharing Location Is Not Suspicious (40:25) Constantly Checking Location Erodes Trust (42:08) Is Location Tracking Stalking? (47:19) Questions to Ask Before Location Sharing (51:20) About JBWS and Resources   About JBWS and Resources: JBWS's Services: jbws.org/services General Resources: jbws.org/resourcesIf you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv If you don't live or work in either Morris or Passaic County, NJ please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

    54 min

  2. FEB 10

    How to Tell When Someone is Gaslighting You, with Dr. Danielle Graddick, PsyD.

    You're not going crazy. Gaslighting is designed to make you doubt your own perception of reality. It is frequently used in abusive relationships to keep the victim under an abusive partner's control. Dr. Danielle Graddick, a licensed clinical psychologist, joins this episode of Unsilenced to get into gaslighting. We explore these questions: What is gaslighting? What are signs of gaslighting?Can you gaslight someone unintentionally?What are examples of gaslighting?How can you respond to gaslighting?Why do people gaslight others?How can you trust yourself after gaslighting?And so much more Video Content (0:00) Introduction (1:48) Defining Gaslighting (2:49) Examples of Gaslighting (5:44) Common Gaslighting Phrases (7:19) Disagreeing Without Gaslighting (12:04) Can Gaslighting be Unintentional? (15:21) Why Do People Gaslight Others? (17:51) Is It Possible to Stop Gaslighting? (21:58) Recovering from Gaslighting (28:13) About JBWS & Resources About JBWS & Resources: JBWS's Services: Jbws.org/services General Resources: ⁠https://jbws.org/helpful-domestic-violence-information/⁠ If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv ⁠ If you don't live or work in either Morris or Passaic County, NJ please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

    31 min

  3. JAN 27

    How to Safely Leave an Abusive or Unhealthy Relationship

    When a person decides to leave an abusive relationship, it marks a significant loss of control for their partner that can make the abuse escalate. Most domestic violence homicides and serious injuries occur when a person decides to leave an abusive relationship. That is why safety planning is crucial for all people experiencing abuse, even if you don’t plan on leaving immediately. In this episode, JBWS staff member Robin Hughes discusses: General tips to increase your safety How to deescalate an abusive situationInvolving children in safety planningStaying safe after you leave the relationshipAnd more  CONTENT:  (0:00) Introduction (2:08) What Is Safety Planning? (6:00) Preparing to Leave An Abusive Relationship (8:13) Signs You Need to Deescalate (10:08) How to Placate an Abusive Partner for Safety (14:20) Tips for Preparing to Leave An Abusive Relationship (18:32) "Where Do I Go Now?" (21:35) Staying Safe After Leaving (27:35) Document The Abuse (29:41) Ideas for Safety Planning (35:48) Safety Planning With A Restraining Order (39:35) Involving Children in Safety Planning (43:32) Weapons and Abuse (46:06) Recap on Tips for Staying Safe (51:44) Resources and About JBWS   *Every person’s circumstance is different. This podcast is intended to offer general tips for safety planning, not to offer advice. Not every suggestion will be right for you. Call a domestic violence agency and speak with an advocate to develop your own safety plan. Resources and About JBWS: JBWS's Services: Jbws.org/services Morris County, NJ 24-Hour Helpline:1.877.782.2873 Passaic County, NJ 24-Hour Helpline: 1.973.881.1450 General Resources: https://jbws.org/helpful-domestic-violence-information/ Ideas for Safety Planning:  https://jbws.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/Developing-a-Safety-Plan.pdf If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv If you don't live or work in either Morris or Passaic County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

    54 min

  4. JAN 13

    Can Choking Your Partner During Sex Ever Be Consensual?

    Choking your partner during sex is becoming increasingly common. People engage in breath play to enhance eroticism and sexual pleasure. But can sexual choking ever be a consensual act? Is it possible to consent to something that could kill you with the same force it takes to open a can of soda? CONTENT: Introduction (0:00)Choking vs. Strangulation (2:45) Can You Consent to Choking? (3:59) Dangers of Sexual Choking (5:34) Choking and Abusive Relationships (10:45) Defining Strangulation (16:21) Warning Signs of Medical Distress (22:35) Choking Puts Abuse Victims At Increased Risk of Death (25:34)Talking to Teens About Sexual Choking (28:46) BREATHE Protocol (34:24) Is Sexual Choking Abuse? (37:52) About JBWS & Resources (41:41) Resources and About JBWS: If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris or Passaic County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit jbws.org/services If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

    44 min

  5. 11/18/2025

    Democrats AND Republicans Should Care About Domestic Violence. Here’s Why, with Senator Anthony Bucco (R)

    It’s difficult to find common ground when you disagree with someone politically. Instead of taking the time to really listen to each other, we get caught up in arguments and proving our points. Too often, this leads us to focus on what divides us instead of what unities us. In this special episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse the New Jersey Senate Minority Leader, Anthony M. Bucco, spoke about the importance of bipartisanship as it relates to domestic violence. Since domestic violence is an issue that impacts all people, with no regard to their political affiliation, it requires a unified front to end abuse.   Content: (0:00) Introduction (2:17) Why Domestic Violence Should Matter to Republicansand Democrats (3:11) Conservative Values & Ending Domestic Violence (4:46) Polarization, Politics, & Abuse (7:08) Domestic Violence Legislation (11:02) A Message About Abuse (15:58) A Message from the New Jersey Coalition to EndDomestic Violence (19:55) About JBWS & Resources Resources: Find more resources about restraining orders: ⁠jbws.org/resources If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠ If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

    22 min

  6. 10/21/2025

    Am I Being Abused? Warning Signs of Domestic Violence

    The warnings signs of domestic violence aren't always easy to identify. There are subtle forms of abuse that you may not even notice. In this episode we answer your frequently asked questions about domestic violence including: What are the signs of domestic violence? Is it abuse if it’s only happened a few times? Did I cause my partner to abuse me? Can my partner be a good parent to our children but still be abusing me?Is it abuse even if they’ve never hit me? Can men experience domestic violence? And so much more CONTENT: (0:00) Introduction (1:40) Signs of Domestic Violence (2:32) "You're Just Crazy" (4:29) Love Bombing and Abuse (5:51) Financial Control and Domestic Violence (7:10) Isolation and Domestic Violence (11:17) "It's Only Happened A Few Times" (15:15) Did I Cause The Abuse? (17:31) Is It Abuse If I've Never Been Hit? (19:00) Can They Be a Good Parent and Abusive? (22:10) How to Get Help (23:57) A Fight vs. Domestic Violence (25:40) Can Men Experience Abuse? (30:10) About JBWS & Resources Resources: If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris or Passaic County, NJ JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

    33 min

  7. 10/07/2025

    Healthy Fighting - How to Disagree with Respect, with Mary Jane McCarthy, LAC

    We’re not used to thinking about fighting with our partner in a healthy way, but it is possible to have fights with your partner, rooted in respect, that bring you closer together.  This episode explores: How to fight in a healthier way Signs of unhealthy fighting How to effectively take a break from arguments Feeling emotions versus acting on those emotionsChanging patterns of fights and arguments Tips to regulate your emotions, body, and mindAnd so much more! CONTENT: (0:00) Introduction (1:36) The Benefit of Disagreements (4:29) What is Healthy Fighting? (6:35) Elements of a Healthy Fight (10:49) Example of a Healthy Argument (14:58) Don't Try To Make Your Partner Feel Bad (20:17) Signs an Argument Is Becoming Unhealthy (21:34) How to Effectively Take a Break From Arguing (24:17) Change Takes Time, Don't Rush It (29:15) How To Take A Break, Step by Step (35:29) Feeling Emotions Versus Acting on Emotions (38:32) Regulating Physical, Emotional, and Mental Energy (45:57) Accountability and Behavior Change (48:06) Signs of Abuse in Arguments (53:04) About JBWS & Resources Resources: If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris or Passaic County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

    55 min

  8. 07/01/2025

    Restraining Orders - Everything You Need to Know with Alexis Laufer, Esq., William Laufer, Esq. and Maria Lagattuta, LCSW

    What are restraining orders? What can you get a restraining order for? Who can apply for a restraining order? What does the restraining order process look like? In this episode, we explore all facets of restraining orders. We cover the difference between a temporary restraining order and a final restraining order, the difference between a civil restraint and a restraining order, answer frequently asked questions and much more. Please note, this information applies to New Jersey law. If you are in another state or country it may be different. CONTENT: (0:00) Introduction (2:38) What is a Restraining Order? (4:37) Temporary vs. Final Restraining Orders (8:22) What is a Predicate Act? (9:58) Burden of Proof (12:13) What is Involved in Obtaining a Restraining Order (15:22) How Do You Get A Restraining Order? (18:43) What Can You Get A Restraining Order For? (23:30) Civil Restraint vs. Restraining Order (27:09) Advice for Seeking a Restraining Order (34:31) Prior Acts of Domestic Violence (37:12) FAQs (41:11) Violating a Restraining Order (43:20) Will the Defendant Know I Filed? (45:23) About JBWS & Resources Resources: Find more resources about restraining orders: ⁠jbws.org/resources If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠ If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

    47 min
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There is a culture of silence around the issue of domestic abuse and this podcast is here to break that silence. Run by members of JBWS, a domestic violence agency, Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse doesn't shy away from having difficult conversations about abuse to help others recognize that they may be in unhealthy relationships or using unhealthy behaviors themselves.

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