Recovering Out Loud

ROL Productions
  • 4.6 (5)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Sobriety you can actually use — from someone who lived it twice. I'm Anthony. I got sober in 2015, relapsed after 7.5 years, and rebuilt from zero. Now I'm an addiction counsellor-in-training sharing what actually works in recovery — not theory, real tools. Every episode covers the real struggles of staying sober: emotional sobriety, relapse prevention, identity, people-pleasing, shame, trauma, mental health, and the messy middle nobody talks about. If you're newly sober, years in, or supporting someone you love — this is your space. New episodes every week. Follow so you never miss one.

  1. Relapsing After 11 Months, Sober Motherhood & 14 Years in Recovery — Co-Founder of Generation Women

    1d ago

    Relapsing After 11 Months, Sober Motherhood & 14 Years in Recovery — Co-Founder of Generation Women

    She had 11 months sober — then relapsed over an argument she'd only ever had in her own head. Jen returns to the show to walk through what came next: eight months of counting drinks, sneaking drinks, and trying to "manage it" — a stretch she says felt crazier than when she was strung out. From there it's the recovery that finally stuck: getting sober for good, becoming a sober mom (which she says was harder than getting sober the first time), and finding the four things she believes every recovery path has in common. This is two people in recovery talking honestly — lived experience, peer to peer, no experts and no scripts. We get into alcohol and drug recovery, what actually drives a relapse, emotional sobriety, spirituality without the "Sky Daddy," and why “ 12 step recovery helped me — and it's not the only way." ▶️ New here? This one's a good place to start if you've ever wondered whether you could just cut back instead of quit. If it lands, follow the show and send it to one person who needs it today. ⏱️ Chapters below. Generation Women Canada: https://www.generationwomen.ca/

    1h 3m
  2. The Masks We Wear in Recovery | Borrowed Wisdom Pt. 2 : Earl H, The Path to Freedom

    6d ago

    The Masks We Wear in Recovery | Borrowed Wisdom Pt. 2 : Earl H, The Path to Freedom

    This is Part 2 of Borrowed Wisdom: Earl, "The Path to Freedom." Earl is one of my all-time favourites in recovery. I pulled the quotes that hit hardest and reflected on each one from my own experience — a guy who relapsed after 7.5 years sober and had to find his way back. What we get into: - The mask we wear — in addiction, in sobriety, and how the tough guy performance set up my relapse - Fear as the real engine behind addiction (we're not bad people — we're frightened ones) - Self-worth that doesn't depend on other people's reception - Kindness vs. people-pleasing — a real difference most people miss - Forgiveness as a selfish act, done for yourself - 5–10 minutes of meditation and what it actually does to your impulse control - Service as the greatest high in recovery - The dying man story — and the gratitude reset it delivers every time Want the full Earl tape? DM me on Instagram: @RecoveringOutLoudPod Recovery is simple, not easy. I love you. 00:00 Showing up when you don't feel like it 01:53 Welcome & Anthony's story 03:01 The mask and the false self 06:12 Who you actually meet in recovery 07:22 Fear is the engine behind addiction 08:20 Commitment not contingent on others 09:09 Not everyone gets this chance 11:41 Kindness vs. being a nice guy 12:51 The samurai — being ease and comfort 14:39 The greatest buzz in recovery 14:56 Being strong enough to be gentle 17:21 Forgiveness releases the prisoner 18:54 Fairness is a one-way street 19:07 Progress, not perfection 20:31 When self-centred fear takes over 21:47 Meditation: 5–10 minutes changes everything 24:13 I don't understand God — but I see evidence 25:59 Service: stepping out of your own head 27:01 Don't look at the sports car 28:58 Authenticity is what people actually connect with 29:06 The weight of the beauty of recovery 30:22 The moment in the car 31:04 The dying man story 33:11 From "I have to" to "I get to" 34:17 Closing: I love you

    34 min
  3. Loving an Alcoholic: Both Sides of the Same Story From Addiction to Recovery

    Jun 23

    Loving an Alcoholic: Both Sides of the Same Story From Addiction to Recovery

    Some recovery stories are told from one side. This one isn't. Chloe lived the alcoholism. Andrew loved her through it — and watched both the addiction and the recovery up close. In this episode they sit down together and rebuild the same years from two different chairs: how they fell for each other fast, how the drinking took over, the hospital trips, the relapses, and the night it finally turned. Along the way they get into the stuff nobody warns you about — the "morning me vs. nighttime me" split that runs through active addiction, what it actually does to the person who loves you, why staying can sometimes prevent the rock bottom someone needs to hit, and the hardest truth either of them learned: when you step away from this disease for three months or thirty years, you come back exactly where you left off. If you love someone in active addiction, or you've been the one being loved while you were using, this is your conversation. Chapters 0:00 – "I already know how I'd relapse" 1:37 – Love at first sight 13:43 – Withdrawal & the first 911 call 22:09 – Morning Chloe vs. Nighttime Chloe 33:20 – Walking on eggshells: loving an addict 40:56 – The last day & a psychotic break 44:52 – "Losing things is what gets people better" 47:34 – Where they are today 🎧 Best place to start if you're new here. It's the full arc — using, loving, losing, and coming back — in one sitting. ▶️ Host recommendation: if this one lands, go to the solo episodes on euphoric recall and the emotional sobriety plateau next. If you're carrying this for someone you love, or for yourself: you're not the only one. Follow the show so the next episode finds you, and if it helped, leave a rating — it's the single biggest thing that gets these stories to the next person who needs them. Recovering Out Loud is peer-led and built on lived experience, not clinical advice.

    51 min
  4. Why Sobriety Stopped Feeling Like a Win: The Emotional Sobriety Plateau Nobody Warns You About

    Jun 18

    Why Sobriety Stopped Feeling Like a Win: The Emotional Sobriety Plateau Nobody Warns You About

    Nobody warns you that sobriety can stop feeling like a win. They warn you about the cravings, the first 30 days, the holidays. Nobody tells you about the Tuesday — a couple of years in — when the chips slow down, the applause stops, and being sober just becomes your life. And somewhere in that quiet, the old voice gets an opening. I know it because I lived it. I relapsed after seven and a half years sober — not on a bad day, but in the flat part, the stretch where recovery stopped feeling like an achievement and started feeling like nothing at all. This is a raw, lived-experience episode about the emotional sobriety plateau: why the "win" feeling was always going to fade (hello, hedonic adaptation), how "flat" gets mistranslated into "something's wrong," the difference between being dry and being emotionally sober, and what actually helped me build a life I don't want to escape from. If you've ever thought is this it? — this one's for you. 🎙 Recovering Out Loud — peer-led recovery media built on lived experience. Real stories. 📲 recoveringoutloud.ca · @recoveringoutloudpod Follow / subscribe so the next one finds you. This podcast shares one person's lived experience and is not medical or clinical advice.

    20 min
  5. The One Cause of Every Resentment, Every Lie, and Every Defect | Borrowed Wisdom #1 Bob D

    Jun 16

    The One Cause of Every Resentment, Every Lie, and Every Defect | Borrowed Wisdom #1 Bob D

    This is the first in a new series — Borrowed Wisdom — where I share the greatest recovery speaker tapes that saved my life. Every resentment I've ever had came from fear, and a speaker named Bob D broke that wide open for me. In this solo episode I pull the highlights from a speaker tape that's saved my ass more times than I can count, and I reflect on what each line means in my own recovery. We get into why we lie out of fear instead of malice, why the voice in your head projects the worst-case every time (and is almost always wrong), the difference between faith and trust — the wheelbarrow on the tightrope — and why every character defect comes with a "cookie" attached. We close on the paradox that the longer I stay sober, the more help I actually need. If you've ever stayed stuck in a resentment, talked yourself out of something before you even tried, or wondered why "letting go" feels impossible — this one's for you. If no one's told you today: I love you. Recovery is simple, not easy. ▶ Follow the show so you don't miss the next one. 📩 Want the full talks? DM me on Instagram @recoveringoutloudpod — I'll send them over. 0:00 Why these talks saved my life 2:08 Meet Bob: fear, faith, and "take what you like" 3:13 Every resentment is really fear 4:36 You're not a liar — you're afraid 7:40 Your brain projects the worst (thank God it's wrong) 9:21 Deathbed regret: the things you were afraid to try 10:26 Successful people are willing to look stupid 11:31 Everything you want is on the other side of fear 12:28 Faith vs. trust: get in the wheelbarrow 15:04 Why "not enough" is my greatest asset 16:10 Every defect has a cookie attached 18:08 Everything I let go of has claw marks on it 18:32 Amends enhance you — they don't diminish you 19:44 Turning my worst traits into assets 22:28 25 years sober and needing more help than ever 24:42 Run your best thinking past someone first 26:55 Recovery is simple, not easy

    28 min
  6. "Sorry" Stopped Working: How I Actually Made Amends in Recovery

    Jun 13

    "Sorry" Stopped Working: How I Actually Made Amends in Recovery

    I said "I'm sorry" so many times in my addiction that the word stopped meaning anything. All words, no action — guilt with a better vocabulary. In this solo episode I get into the difference between a verbal amends and a living amends: not the conversation, but the daily commitment to behave differently and become someone who doesn't repeat the harm. I talk about cleaning up my side of the street, moving from taker to giver, making amends to myself, and the trap of using "I'll just live differently" as an escape hatch to avoid the hard conversations. I also tell the story of running into my old drug dealer at the gym five years sober — and what I did next. This one's about rebuilding trust after addiction, forgiving yourself first, and why your family doesn't owe you forgiveness — but your actions, over time, speak louder than any apology. Recovery is simple, not easy. 🎧 New episodes twice a week. If this helped, follow the show — it genuinely helps it grow. 0:00 Guilt with a better vocabulary 0:34 What this episode is really about 1:11 "How do I pay my parents back?" 1:29 Welcome to Recovering Out Loud 2:12 What a living amends actually is 2:49 Verbal amends vs. living amends 3:19 Moving from taker to giver 4:02 My purpose is to be of service 4:19 When living amends is the right path 5:21 Amends is for you, not for them 5:46 The trap: amends as an escape hatch 6:32 Making amends to yourself 7:11 The long game — there's no finish line 7:47 What it feels like with family 8:28 You cannot heal anyone 9:18 Why your worst comes out at home 10:26 Nobody owes you forgiveness 11:16 Integrity when nobody's watching 12:03 The drug dealer at the gym 13:31 Don't put yourself in danger 13:46 If an amends pops into your head 15:06 Disturbed, discontent, disconnected 15:34 It's a process — progress not perfection 16:10 Don't use being high as an excuse 16:32 How to actually make the amends 17:22 Forgive yourself first 18:09 The nightly inventory 18:31 Outro

    19 min
  7. The Diary of a Recovering Drug Addict : Thoughts That Keep Me Sober

    Jun 11

    The Diary of a Recovering Drug Addict : Thoughts That Keep Me Sober

    10 unfiltered thoughts from my morning journal on staying sober, comparison, peace over happiness, and the war that's really with myself. At a year and a half sober again, I sat down with my morning journal and pulled out 10 thoughts that are keeping me in recovery right now — then talked them through, raw and unscripted. This one's about comparison and jealousy in the recovery and creator space ("why not me?"), getting through hard times one day at a time, building a morning routine when your old life had no structure, beating boredom by reconnecting with friends, and why I show up to meetings for what happens before and after the meeting. We get into believing in the sober version of yourself, chasing peace instead of happiness, the power of journaling, and the reframe that changed everything for me: moving from a war on drugs to a war on myself. If you're early in substance abuse recovery, navigating life after drug addiction, or just trying to stay sober through a rough patch — I hope one of these helps. Recovery is simple, not easy. Timestamps 00:00 — Morning Pages & why I journal 02:21 — #1 Competitors as hope, not jealousy 06:23 — #2 Staying sober through hard times 08:03 — #3 The morning routine 09:46 — #4 Boredom & reconnecting with friends 11:46 — #5 Meetings: the before & after 13:36 — #6 Believing in the sober you 15:13 — #7 Peace over happiness 16:32 — #8 Journaling 17:19 — #9 Everything isn't as it seems 21:35 — #10 War on drugs → war on me Mentioned • The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron — the Morning Pages practice • Past episode with Jessie (loss & staying sober through grief) • Past episode: Pleasure vs. Meaning • My recovery journal — https://linktr.ee/Recoveringoutloudpod

    24 min
  8. It’s Okay to Miss Drinking Sometimes : The Part of Recovery Nobody Is Honest About

    Jun 9

    It’s Okay to Miss Drinking Sometimes : The Part of Recovery Nobody Is Honest About

    Is it okay to admit you miss drinking? Psychotherapist Eryl returns to Recovering Out Loud for an honest conversation about the grief almost nobody talks about in early sobriety — and why pretending "it was all bad" can leave you feeling more ashamed and isolated than the truth ever would. Anthony and Eryl get into the alcohol addiction recovery experience as it really is: substances as an "escape hatch," the abusive-relationship analogy that didn't start out abusive, and the "parts work" idea that you can be grateful to the part of you that helped you survive — without ever going back to it. They also dig into why we keep reaching outside ourselves for a fix (the car, the body, the next purchase), how attachment and self-regulation sit underneath addiction, the cross-addiction "whack-a-mole," and a hard look at the predatory wellness and peptide marketing showing up in recovery spaces right now. It closes on emotional regulation, money, and what it means to build a life you don't need to escape from. A peer + therapist conversation about substance abuse recovery, grief, and emotional sobriety — real stories, no guru energy. This episode discusses body image and eating-disorder recovery. Support resources are in the show notes. Find Eryl on instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/erylmccaffrey/ 00:00 Eryl's last 30 days — and the day she said "I need help" 03:07 Why your "failed attempts" weren't failures 05:09 Is it okay to miss drinking? The grief no one warns you about 07:05 The escape hatch: avoiding discomfort at all costs 09:42 Avoiding people, places & things (and why it's temporary) 11:52 What you were really chasing was connection 13:22 Grieving the old you — and being grateful to it (parts work) 14:50 When the craving hits: delay, distract, cope ahead 18:30 Self-regulation, co-regulation & where addiction starts 20:00 Attachment styles, gender & the substance you reach for 23:52 Whack-a-mole: trading one substance for another 24:48 Everything can become a drug — nicotine, scrolling, shopping 25:07 Peptides, Ozempic & predatory marketing in recovery spaces 31:00 Honesty about TRT and the rabbit hole 32:45 "Be curious, not judgmental" 34:01 The real question: WHY am I reaching for a fix? 35:01 Financial sobriety and your relationship with money 37:55 How alcohol gets marketed to keep women small 41:44 Selling escape: the beach, the Corona, the lie 44:25 Building a life you don't need to escape from 46:41 Waiting for the other shoe to drop 48:30 Emotional regulation, in one elevator pitch 49:56 You are not your thoughts — meditation & the observer

    51 min
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Ratings & Reviews

4.6
out of 5
5 Ratings

About

Sobriety you can actually use — from someone who lived it twice. I'm Anthony. I got sober in 2015, relapsed after 7.5 years, and rebuilt from zero. Now I'm an addiction counsellor-in-training sharing what actually works in recovery — not theory, real tools. Every episode covers the real struggles of staying sober: emotional sobriety, relapse prevention, identity, people-pleasing, shame, trauma, mental health, and the messy middle nobody talks about. If you're newly sober, years in, or supporting someone you love — this is your space. New episodes every week. Follow so you never miss one.

Information

  • Creator
    ROL Productions
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    119
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © ROL Productions
  • Show Website
    Recovering Out Loud

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