Outsmart Burnout: The Podcast for High-Achieving Women with Dr. Zarya Rubin

Dr. Zarya Rubin, MD - Physician & Burnout Expert
  • 5.0 (24)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

You're smart, driven, and accomplished — but you're exhausted. Not the kind of tired that a good night's sleep fixes. The kind that makes you wonder how much longer you can keep going at this pace, and whether the life you've built is actually the life you want. Welcome to Outsmart Burnout. I'm your host, Dr. Zarya Rubin — a Harvard-educated physician, TEDx speaker, burnout expert, and recovering overachiever — this show is for high-achieving women who are done white-knuckling their way through life and ready to reclaim their passion, purpose, and joy. As a physician who burned out in medicine and found my way back to personal and professional success, I don't just study burnout - I've lived it. Each week, I invite expert guests to dive into the real conversations high-achieving women need most: the science of burnout and nervous system regulation, the identity shifts that midlife brings, the systems and patterns keeping you stuck, and the practical strategies to help you feel like yourself again. Remember, burnout is not your destiny, it's your wake-up call. Listen to my TEDx talk about burnout: https://bit.ly/TEDxBurnout Learn more and work with me: www.drzarya.com Follow along on Instagram: www.instagram.com/drzaryarubin Download your FREE Outsmart Burnout Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/outsmartburnouttoolkit For 1:1 burnout support, check out The Burnout Blueprint! https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/ New episodes drop every Wednesday. Leave us a comment, like, subscribe, download, and share an episode with a friend.

  1. Aug 12

    Be a Facilitator, Not a Fixer - Laurie Maddalena on Sustainable Leadership

    Laurie Maddalena spent years as the "fixer" — the leader who carries her team's entire workload — before discovering the archetype shift that changed her career: becoming a facilitator instead. She and Dr. Zarya unpack why "open door policies" and multitasking quietly fuel burnout, the five-minute practice that ends workday chaos, and how Laurie holds a 40-hour workweek while running a company and raising three kids. They also share a candid conversation about parenting kids with chronic illness and the mantras that help them stay grounded when control isn't an option. KEY TAKEAWAYS - The fixer-to-facilitator shift is the most important transition in leadership — and most people are promoted into it with zero training. - Task-switching (multitasking) increases the time it takes to complete a task by over 500%. - The "open door policy," taken to the extreme, is one of the most burnout-inducing workplace practices — protected, undistracted time is essential. - A five-minute end-of-day practice — naming your top two priorities for tomorrow — reduces mental clutter and lowers stress. - Burnout is often a leadership and systems problem, not just a personal one — vague delegation ("drive-by delegation") sets people up to fail. - Boundaries, like disconnecting fully on vacation, model healthy leadership for the whole team rather than restricting others. - When facing what you can't control, the mantras "be with what is" and "invested yet detached" can help you stay engaged without burning out. TIMESTAMPS 01:53 Laurie's two pivotal leadership moments 09:48 What the "fixer" actually looks like at work 15:00 Banishing the open door policy and multitasking 20:56 The five-minute end-of-day recalibration practice 32:01 How Laurie caps her workweek at 40 hours 41:49 Instilling accountability instead of "drive-by delegation" 48:06 Parenting through chronic illness: "be with what is" 51:29 Rapid fire round 55:04 "Be a facilitator, not a fixer" GUEST CONTACT Website (free Fixer to Facilitator assessment): lauriemaddalena.com Connect on LinkedIn: Laurie Maddalena Connect with Dr. Zarya, The Burnout Doctor: Website: www.theburnoutdoctor.com IG: www.instagram.com/theburnoutMD Get your FREE Burnout to Balance Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttoolkit Book a FREE Consult with The Burnout Doctor: https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult Reach out with questions or to book The Burnout Doctor for your next event: hello@theburnoutdoctor.com

  2. Aug 5

    The Burden of Being "The Strong One" - with Dr. Nikia Smith

    Dr. Nikia Smith, board-certified anesthesiologist and founder of She Is Fire Forged, has burned out in medicine not once, but twice — and lived to build a framework for catching it earlier the second time. She and Dr. Zarya dig into the invisible "third shift" (the mental load of kinkeeping that goes beyond housework), the specific toll of being a Black woman in medicine, and why rest without guilt is a skill you have to relearn. It's a candid, funny, and sharply honest conversation for anyone who's been praised for being "the strong one" while quietly running on empty. KEY TAKEAWAYS - Burnout builds gradually ("the simmer") long before it boils over — insomnia, dread, and irritability are early warning signs that get normalized by hustle culture. - Changing jobs alone won't fix burnout if the underlying systems, boundaries, and values don't change too. - The "third shift" — kinkeeping (tracking birthdays, appointments, being the default emotional contact) — is invisible labor that drains women beyond housework and paid work combined. - Recovering from burnout is bigger than rest: it requires rebuilding boundaries, values, and support systems, not just a vacation. - Women physicians have better patient outcomes, work longer hours, chart more, and are paid less — and lose the cardiovascular protective advantage that being a woman typically confers. - For women of color in medicine, microaggressions and covert racism add a compounding layer of fatigue on top of standard burnout. - "Rest without guilt" is a skill: true rest means a quiet mind, not just a still body. TIMESTAMPS 01:58 Dr. Nikia's first burnout in 2021 06:08 The warning signs nobody names 17:05 Recognizing and short-circuiting the second burnout 24:30 The "third shift" and kinkeeping 37:45 Burnout compounded by race and gender in medicine 44:21 Rapid fire round 48:05 "Burnout told me I was broken, but actually I was..." 50:07 What to do in the next 24 hours Connect with Dr. Nikia https://sheisfireforged.com/ Connect with Dr. Zarya, The Burnout Doctor: Website: https://www.theburnoutdoctor.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/theburnoutMD Get your FREE Burnout to Balance Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttoolkit Book a FREE Consult with The Burnout Doctor: https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult Reach out with questions or to book The Burnout Doctor for your next event: hello@theburnoutdoctor.com

  3. Jul 29

    The Pattern That Kept You Safe Is The Pattern That's Keeping You Stuck - with Anik Malenfant

    What if burnout isn't about doing too much, but about invisible subconscious patterns running the show? Anik Malenfant — a former corporate finance branch manager turned inner work strategist — joins Dr. Zarya to unpack how the coping patterns that once kept us safe are often the very things keeping us stuck, exhausted, and stalled beneath an invisible ceiling. They dig into brainwave states, the biology of stress addiction, and why identity itself can become the thing high achievers protect at their own expense. It's a science-meets-soul conversation for anyone who's checked every box and still feels like something's missing. KEY TAKEAWAYS - Burnout is a symptom of disharmony — a signal that you're out of sync with who you are, not a personal failure. - The "achieve first, feel happy later" equation is backwards (the arrival fallacy); chasing external goalposts keeps happiness perpetually out of reach. - Coping patterns formed young (like staying quiet to avoid conflict) often resurface as adult burnout behaviors — "the pattern that kept you safe is the pattern that's keeping you stuck." - The subconscious mind operates on a theta brainwave, not the beta brainwave used for conscious affirmations — which is why willpower alone rarely rewires deep patterns. - It takes roughly twelve weeks of consistent practice to anchor a new pattern into your life. - High achievers often protect their identity/labels above all else — and that attachment is frequently what's driving the burnout. - The body can develop something like a stress addiction — extended calm (2-3 weeks) can trigger genuine withdrawal symptoms. - "Neuroneutral" — a state of open, receptive calm distinct from both fight-or-flight and rest-and-digest — may be the real antidote to chronic stress cycling. TIMESTAMPS 01:14 — Anik's origin story: from corporate finance to burnout awakening 04:54 — Burnout as a symptom of disharmony 06:27 — The guidance counselor story: the backwards happiness equation 09:16 — The arrival fallacy and conditional happiness 15:20 — Becoming an "energy sommelier" — reading subconscious patterns 21:14 — Brené Brown, Atlas of the Heart, and fight/flight/freeze/fawn 25:29 — The concept of "neuroneutral" 29:15 — Stress addiction and cortisol withdrawal 31:48 — Brainwave breakdown: beta, alpha, theta, delta 38:01 — Invisible patterns and visible ceilings 41:27 — "The pattern that kept you safe is the pattern that's keeping you stuck" 42:13 — Rapid fire round Connect with Anik ascensionacademy.life subscribe.io/breakthroughblueprint (free "Find My Pattern" quiz) Connect with Dr. Zarya, The Burnout Doctor: Website: www.theburnoutdoctor.com IG: www.instagram.com/theburnoutMD Get your FREE Burnout to Balance Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttoolkit Book a FREE Consult with The Burnout Doctor: https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult Reach out with questions or to book The Burnout Doctor for your next event: hello@theburnoutdoctor.com

  4. Jul 22

    The Bridge to Calm: How Movement Regulates the Nervous System - with Lisa Danahy

    Lisa Danahy spent years in corporate HR at a law firm, living in a state of hypervigilance she didn't have language for — until her body and her family life forced a reckoning. In this episode, she joins Dr. Zarya to trace her path from corporate burnout to 20 years running an early learning program to founding the nonprofit Create Calm, and to unpack the idea at the center of her book, Creating Calm in Your Classroom: the adult in the room has to regulate first. Lisa and Dr. Zarya go beyond theory — Lisa leads a live, guided movement sequence (grounding through the feet, breath, and bilateral movement) so listeners can feel, in real time, what shifting out of hypervigilance actually takes. They dig into why stillness alone can't bridge someone from a dysregulated state to calm — movement has to come first — and why "calm" doesn't mean sedated, submissive, or shut down. Lisa redefines it as steady, confident, and aligned. 00:47  Guest introduction — the disruptive idea at the center of the episode: the adult regulates first 02:36  Lisa's origin story — from corporate HR at a law firm to yoga therapist and founder of Create Calm 07:13  Naming the hypervigilance — what "attentiveness" actually felt like in her body 09:12  Why she resisted slowing down even as her body was signaling she needed to 10:09  Cortisol, stress addiction, and why the body craves the striving 12:02  "A reforming people pleaser" — and what happens when the people around you miss your old, over-functioning self 13:03  Live guided movement exercise — grounding, breath, and bilateral movement in real time 19:28  Why hypervigilance can't cross a bridge to calm without a partner of movement 20:47  Redefining calm: steady, confident, aligned — not sedated or shut down 24:17  Building your regulation toolkit before you're in crisis, not during it 27:34  Becoming the witness instead of the participant — and why that takes courage 30:04  Values-driven vs. externally driven living, and its direct link to burnout 33:01  Reframing the stress response as information, not a flaw 43:06  The "team at the table" metaphor for internal awareness and decision-making 44:36  Mirror neurons, co-regulation in a room of crying babies, and "bring the weather" Learn more about Lisa Danahy and Create Calm at createcalm.org. Connect with Dr. Zarya, The Burnout Doctor: Website: www.theburnoutdoctor.com IG: www.instagram.com/theburnoutMD Get your FREE Burnout to Balance Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttoolkit Book a FREE Consult with The Burnout Doctor: https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult Reach out with questions or to book The Burnout Doctor for your next event: hello@theburnoutdoctor.com

  5. Jul 15

    Your Nervous System Killed Your Libido (Here’s How to Get It Back) — with Dr. Julie Merriman

    Dr. Julie Merriman has spent nearly 30 years studying compassion fatigue and her own “scorched earth” burnout. A PhD-educated counselor, educator, and former department chair, her latest book, Are We Gonna Have Sex or What?, takes on the question hiding underneath every burned-out woman’s silence: what happened to my desire? We unpack the difference between burnout, compassion fatigue, and moral injury; why a dysregulated nervous system reads a stressful email the same way it views a saber-toothed tiger; and why desire is the first thing to go offline when your body doesn’t feel safe. She reframes resentment as a “sacred emotion” worth listening to rather than suppressing, explains why novelty keeps desire in the room, and makes the case that sex is a skill — one you can keep learning at any age. In this episode: The real difference between burnout, compassion fatigue, and moral injuryWhy a dysregulated nervous system shuts down pleasure and desire firstSpontaneous vs. responsive desire — and why most women rely on the latterThe “schedule sex” catch-22, and the ritual Dr. Jules uses insteadResentment as a sacred emotion, and its hidden role in intimacyWhy novelty matters for desire — at any ageSex as a skill you can learn and improve throughout your life Connect with Dr. Julie Merriman: Website: JulieMerrimanPhD.comBook: Are We Gonna Have Sex or What?Free resources: the Desire Reset Guide and the Somatic Signatures quiz (linked on her website)Podcasts: The Compassion Fatigue Cure and Sexy After 50 Connect with Dr. Zarya, The Burnout Doctor: Website: www.theburnoutdoctor.com IG: www.instagram.com/theburnoutMD Get your FREE Burnout to Balance Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttoolkit Book a FREE Consult with The Burnout Doctor: https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult Reach out with questions or to book The Burnout Doctor for your next event: hello@theburnoutdoctor.com

  6. Jul 8

    Get Curious Before You Get Furious - With Eva Medilek

    Eva Medilek spent decades being the woman who did it all — full-time dental hygienist, side-hustling real estate investor, wife, mother of daughters, and self-described control freak — until burnout quietly almost cost her the thing she was working so hard to protect: her marriage. In this episode, Eva joins me to unpack what she calls “as soon as” disease, the belief that rest and joy are only available on the other side of the next milestone, and the wake-up call that made her rebuild her relationship, her health, and her business from the ground up. Eva is also the founder of Optimize You High-Performance Coaching and the #1 best-selling author of The Intimacy of Race. She walks through her Personal Performance Profile framework — five hidden operating patterns (the Pleaser, the Controller, the Yo-Yo, the Blame-Taker, and the Evader) that form in childhood and quietly run our adult reactions, relationships, and leadership styles.We trade real examples of these patterns showing up in marriage, parenting, and everyday friction (yes, including the dishwasher), and land on Eva's signature reframe: "get curious before you get furious." Takeaways Having it all doesn't mean doing it all.Outsmart burnout by clarifying priorities and setting boundaries.Curiosity before fury: ask questions to understand, not judge.Recognize and reframe childhood patterns that influence adult behavior.Boundaries are essential for mental health and success.Self-awareness is key to identifying what sabotages performance.Creating a supportive community helps in healing and growth.Leadership and societal issues deeply affect personal well-being.Humor and compassion are vital in navigating social issues.Taking responsibility for your patterns leads to empowerment.Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Eva Medilek's Journey 03:46 From Dentistry to High-Performance Coaching 11:10 The Wake-Up Call: Recognizing Burnout 15:19 Building a New Relationship 16:24 The CPR Formula for Performance 22:07 Setting Boundaries and Communicating Needs 24:33 The Dishwasher Dilemma: Learning to Let Go 26:31 Navigating Domestic Chaos: The Dishwasher Dilemma 26:53 Unpacking Personal Performance Profiles 27:33 Childhood Influences on Adult Behavior 29:01 Cultural Expectations and Perfectionism 31:15 Understanding Emotional Patterns and Responses 32:52 The Journey to Self-Acceptance 34:39 The Impact of Childhood on Adult Burnout 36:22 Curiosity Over Fury: A New Approach 37:11 The Intimacy of Race: A Personal Journey 38:53 Creating Safe Spaces for Dialogue 41:27 The Toll of Microaggressions and Societal Pressures 43:19 Leadership and the Divide in Society 45:22 Recognizing Privilege and Its Implications 45:34 Rapid Fire Insights: Quick Takeaways 47:58 Final Thoughts on Balance and Priorities Connect With Eva Medilek Website - https://evamedilek.com Personal Performance Profile Quiz - https://evamedilek.com/quiz Connect with Dr. Zarya Rubin: Learn more: https://drzarya.com Follow along on IG: https://instagram.com/drzaryarubin Download your FREE Outsmart Burnout Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/outsmartburnouttoolkit

  7. Jul 1

    Success Without Stress: The Even Achieving Framework — with Erika Coleman

    Summary What if the reason you keep burning out isn't that you're doing something wrong, but that you're doing too much right? Erika Coleman is a speaker, consultant, organizational psychologist, and self-described recovering overachiever who built a million-dollar training company, survived her mother's terminal cancer diagnosis, and then watched both collapse simultaneously. What she discovered in the aftermath — through grief, therapy, and a Harvard master's degree — became the "Even Achieving Framework": a research-backed approach to doing your best work without sacrificing your health, relationships, or sense of self. In this episode, Dr. Zarya and Erika dig into the science of why high achievers chronically overbid on success, what the Boston Celtics' sports psychologist taught her about performance and recovery, and why the virtues we're most proud of — grit, persistence, optimism — can become the very things that take us down. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Erica Coleman 02:36 The Journey of an Overachiever 05:26 Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation 08:23 Hitting Rock Bottom: A Turning Point 11:14 The Even Achieving Framework 14:14 Understanding Stress and Performance 16:55 The Balance of Achievement and Well-being 19:53 The Importance of Sustainable Effort 22:34 Navigating Stress and Self-Care 25:42 The Role of Resources in Performance 28:36 Daily Hassles and Micro-Breaks 31:39 Changing Mindsets Around Achievement 34:13 Rapid Fire Questions and Final Thoughts   Connect with Erika Coleman: Erika's TEDx Talk: "How to Reduce Stress Without Sacrificing Success" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y1ZTgBClVI Website: https://www.erikacolemanspecaks.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evenachieving LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erika-coleman-1591b435/ Please like, subscribe and share this podcast with someone you think might enjoy it. And if you enjoyed the episode? Please leave us a review! It really does help other women looking to outsmart burnout discover the show. And remember, burnout is not your destiny; it's your wake-up call! Connect with Dr. Zarya Rubin: Sign up for your 1:1 SOS Session and Step Out of Survival Mode! https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/ Listen to my TEDx talk about my burnout story: https://bit.ly/TEDxBurnout Learn more: https://drzarya.com Follow along on IG: https://instagram.com/drzaryarubin Download your FREE Outsmart Burnout Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/outsmartburnouttoolkit

  8. Jun 24

    Shedding the Armor: Burnout, Belonging and Being a Woman Surgeon with Dr. Erin Sheffield

    What does it actually cost to survive in a system that wasn't built for you? Dr. Erin Sheffield is a board-certified oral and maxillofacial surgeon, founder of The Doctor Is ALL In retreat, and co-host of The Resting Stitch Face Podcast — and she's spent her career in one of the most male-dominated surgical specialties in medicine. In this conversation, she and Dr. Zarya go deep on the kind of burnout that doesn't come from working too hard. It comes from shrinking yourself to fit. From her origin story — marine biology student turned oral surgeon after a nudge from her twin sister — to fighting a wrongful termination lawsuit after taking maternity leave, Erin's path has been anything but linear. What she's built on the other side is a community, a retreat, and a mission to give women in surgery what she never had: a space to exhale. In this episode, you'll hear about: The microaggressions that add up — and how they quietly drain high-achieving womenWhat burnout actually feels like in the OR (compassion fatigue)Being illegally fired after taking maternity leave — and what happened nextThe HR complaint that got filed against her for 'hostile work environment' — and why it would never have happened to her husbandWhy women surgeons need permission to rest — and what it looks like when they finally give it to themselvesHow The Doctor Is ALL In was born from feeling completely alone at her first major conferenceThe armor metaphor: what happens when we carry our protective shields long past when we needed themThe pants incident. (You'll know it when you get there!!!!!)Dr. Sheffield's closing message is one that every high-achieving woman needs to hear: you're doing better than you think you are. You don't have to carry it all. And you don't have to do it alone. Trust me, this is one you don't want to miss! Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction to Dr. Erin Sheffield and her mission 02:13 - From marine biology to oral maxillofacial surgery: an unconventional journey 04:45 - Facing challenges as a woman in a male-dominated surgical field 07:09 - Microaggressions, systemic barriers, and the importance of mentorship 09:25 - Experiences of discrimination and hierarchy in residency 11:04 - The culture of perfectionism and proving commitment in medicine 12:52 - Societal expectations and the environment for women surgeons 16:11 - Infertility, motherhood, and the high costs of medical training 17:19 - Juggling motherhood, career, and personal life with supportive partnerships 19:04 - Building community through the Doctors All In retreat 33:04 - The importance of authenticity, vulnerability, and redefining professionalism 39:39 - The analogy of armor and the weight of carrying emotional defenses 40:34 - Rapid Fire: Last day off, mishaps, scuba or lacrosse, and twins 47:46 - Advice for high-achieving women in medicine: You're enough 48:39 - Connecting with Dr. Sheffield and her wellness initiatives Connect with Dr. Erin Sheffield: Instagram & TikTok & LinkedIn: @drerinsheffieldPodcast: The Resting Stitch Face Podcast (all major platforms + YouTube)Retreat + Monthly Membership: https://www.doctorisallin.com/Please like, subscribe and share this podcast with someone you think might enjoy it. And if you enjoyed the episode? Please leave us a review! It really does help other women looking to outsmart burnout discover the show. And remember, burnout is not your destiny; it's your wake-up call! Connect with Dr. Zarya Rubin: Sign up for your 1:1 SOS Session and Step Out of Survival Mode! https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/ Listen to my TEDx talk about my burnout story: https://bit.ly/TEDxBurnout Learn more: https://drzarya.com Follow along on IG: https://instagram.com/drzaryarubin Download your FREE Outsmart Burnout Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/outsmartburnouttoolkit

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About

You're smart, driven, and accomplished — but you're exhausted. Not the kind of tired that a good night's sleep fixes. The kind that makes you wonder how much longer you can keep going at this pace, and whether the life you've built is actually the life you want. Welcome to Outsmart Burnout. I'm your host, Dr. Zarya Rubin — a Harvard-educated physician, TEDx speaker, burnout expert, and recovering overachiever — this show is for high-achieving women who are done white-knuckling their way through life and ready to reclaim their passion, purpose, and joy. As a physician who burned out in medicine and found my way back to personal and professional success, I don't just study burnout - I've lived it. Each week, I invite expert guests to dive into the real conversations high-achieving women need most: the science of burnout and nervous system regulation, the identity shifts that midlife brings, the systems and patterns keeping you stuck, and the practical strategies to help you feel like yourself again. Remember, burnout is not your destiny, it's your wake-up call. Listen to my TEDx talk about burnout: https://bit.ly/TEDxBurnout Learn more and work with me: www.drzarya.com Follow along on Instagram: www.instagram.com/drzaryarubin Download your FREE Outsmart Burnout Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/outsmartburnouttoolkit For 1:1 burnout support, check out The Burnout Blueprint! https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/ New episodes drop every Wednesday. Leave us a comment, like, subscribe, download, and share an episode with a friend.

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