The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing with a Toxic or Narcissistic Ex

The High Conflict Blueprint
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The podcast for stepmums and stepmoms who are done with the drama and manipulation of their partner's high conflict ex.  Because you didn’t sign up for this much chaos. But yet here you are, trying to build a life with your partner while navigating kids and an ex who makes everything impossible. This podcast gives you practical strategies to help you deal with it all.  Hosted by a stepmum and certified coach who's lived it. 

  1. 2D AGO

    How to Deal With Her Toxic Messages – No Overthinking Required // 38

    Draft. Delete. Rewrite. Delete. An hour later, you're still there, trying to figure out how to answer the ex's latest awful message in a way that doesn't set her off again.  But no matter how carefully you word it, no matter how reasonable you are, it never lands the way you hope.  And tomorrow, or next week, there'll be another message, and you'll be right back here again. Hoping that this time, if you just get the wording right, she'll finally hear you. But she won’t. Because she's not waiting for your answer. She's waiting for your reaction. And every time you explain or defend or justify – she gets leverage. You're not in a conversation, you're in an endurance test. And you will lose because she will go as long as she needs to go to exhaust you. There is only one thing that lowers the conflict. And it's not better words – it's less words. Today I'm going to show you exactly how to do it – and I'm revealing two new tools that will help you stop agonising each time a message comes through. No overthinking required.  👉 The No Drama Script Pack – A quick way to respond to high conflict messages from the ex without escalating or overthinking: highconflictblueprint.com/no-drama-script-pack  👉 The No Drama Responder – A guided GPT that walks you step by step through handling every high conflict message calmly and strategically: highconflictblueprint.com/no-drama-responder  👉 FREE CLEAR Guide –  Don’t get stuck in conversations that always seem to escalate. Stay calm (no matter what she sends) with this 5-step communication plan. highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-free-guide 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/how-to-deal-with-toxic-ex-messages 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

    16 min

  2. FEB 10

    When You've Lost Yourself in All the Drama & Don't Know How to Get Out // 37

    When was the last time you did something that had nothing to do with her? Something that was just yours. Not about managing the kids. Not about your partner's stress. Not about the next court date or the latest text.  Maybe you can't even remember. Because right now, dealing with a high conflict ex takes up everything. Your time. Your energy. Your thoughts. Your conversations. And without even realising it, the things you used to care about have disappeared. Your goals. Your friendships. The parts of yourself that felt alive. You tell yourself "Once things calm down, then I'll have time." But things never calm down.  And meanwhile, you're stuck. Waiting.  Today, I want to show you how to make your life bigger than this problem – so she becomes what she actually is. A minor, irritating part of your life that doesn't get to take over everything else. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/lost-self-drama-toxic-ex 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

    10 min

  3. FEB 3

    When You’re Losing Hope That Things Will Get Better // 36

    You didn't know it was going to be like this. When you started this relationship, you thought the drama from the ex would settle down. That things would get easier. That eventually, you'd get to just enjoy your life together without it being sabotaged all the time.  But here you are – 1 year in, maybe 2 or 3, maybe even more – and you're still waiting for that future to arrive. And now the reality is starting to sink in. This might not change. It might always be like this.  And the thought of that can leave you feeling exhausted, numb, and maybe even questioning everything.  If that's where you are right now, I want to talk to you about what's really going on with you. And the way to get through this. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/losing-hope-high-conflict-ex 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

    10 min

  4. JAN 27

    4 Truths I Learned the Hard Way After 6 Years Dealing With a High Conflict Ex // 35

    Six years ago, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Because you don't know what this is like until you're in it, and then you don't know what to do to fix it. But here's what I've learned since then – four truths that completely changed how I handle this situation with the high conflict ex. If you're burnt out from trying everything and getting nowhere, and you're wondering if you'll ever figure this out – this episode will give you the answers you need. I learned the hard way – but you don’t have to.  👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/4-truths-high-conflict-ex 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

    14 min

  5. JAN 20

    When the Ex Withholds Information About the Kids // 34

    The ex didn't tell your partner about the doctor's appointment. Again. Or the school event. Or the medication change. Or the parent-teacher conference. And now he’s calling the doctor, the pharmacy, the school, trying to piece together what's happening with his own child. You've watched this play out so many times.  And here's what makes it so frustrating – he keeps trying to get her to communicate. But it never works. Because this isn't about poor communication. It's about control. Today I'll show you what's really happening when she withholds information, and what you and your partner can do to stop the cycle. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/ex-withholds-information-about-kids 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

    15 min

  6. JAN 13

    Why She Escalates When Nothing Happened // 33

    Things have been quiet lately. And now suddenly, there's chaos. A lawyer letter. A sudden accusation. A demand that makes absolutely no sense. And you're standing there thinking "What did we do? Where is this even coming from?" But there WAS a trigger. You just missed it.  The problem with that though, is if you don’t know where the escalation is coming from, you end up wasting energy on the wrong problem. In this episode, I'll show you how to find the trigger and reveal the pattern underneath – so you stop trying to solve the problem she's claiming exists, and start seeing the problem that actually exists. Because once you see what’s actually driving the escalation, you'll be able to see what actions are worth your energy – and what's not. 👉 Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/why-she-escalates-when-nothing-happened 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

    11 min

  7. JAN 6

    The Cost of Always Being the 'Bigger Person' While the Ex Does Whatever She Wants // 32

    You're doing all the work to keep things civil. You manage yourself. You think before you respond. You try to stay calm when you want to scream. And the ex? She gets to do whatever she wants. She sends nasty texts, creates chaos, manipulates the kids, and faces no consequences whatsoever. And it's unfair that you have to be the bigger person while she’s the one being awful. But that unfairness isn't the thing that's hurting you most.  It's the resentment you're carrying about it. And that resentment is costing you more than you think. In this episode, I'm going to show you why you're the one stuck doing all the emotional work when dealing with a high conflict ex, what that resentment is actually stealing from you, and how to stop paying that cost. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/stop-resentment-high-conflict-ex 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

    10 min

  8. 12/30/2025

    How to Stop Spiralling When the Ex Triggers You // 31

    Imagine having a system where you can stop spiralling within 30 minutes after you’ve been triggered by the ex.  Not three hours. Not three days. 30 minutes. You know you shouldn't engage when she sends those messages. You know you should have boundaries. You know you should stay calm. But here's the problem. You can't. You’re triggered, and you can’t stop the mental loop.  And even though you told yourself you wouldn't engage this time – you find yourself doing it anyway. You respond. You defend. You explain. And then you're angry with yourself on top of everything else. But what if you had a simple, step-by-step plan you could pull out the moment you're triggered to stop that mental loop. So you can decide how to respond instead of just reacting and regretting it later. In this episode, I'm showing you the system I use to stop the spiral fast. It's practical, it's doable, and it works. 👉 Get the 30 Minute Reset: highconflictblueprint.com/reset 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/how-to-stop-spiraling-when-high-conflict-ex-triggers-you 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

    11 min
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About

The podcast for stepmums and stepmoms who are done with the drama and manipulation of their partner's high conflict ex.  Because you didn’t sign up for this much chaos. But yet here you are, trying to build a life with your partner while navigating kids and an ex who makes everything impossible. This podcast gives you practical strategies to help you deal with it all.  Hosted by a stepmum and certified coach who's lived it. 

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