The Unapologetic Man Podcast: Gay Man's Coaching & Personal Development

Keegan Hirst, Gay Men's Coach & Former Rugby Player
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Authentic gay conversations on personal development, life coaching, and mental health. Join Keegan Hirst (founder of The Unapologetic Man and Gay Man's Coaching) a former professional rugby player, for weekly real talk about gay lifestyle, coming out, relationships, business, and authentic living. Deep, honest conversations that help gay men build confidence, find community, and create vibrant, unapologetic lives.

  1. Aug 12

    What It Means to Be an Unapologetic Man

    Keegan Hirst opens the podcast by defining the thing it's named after. Being unapologetic isn't about never saying sorry, and it isn't about being rude. It's about the man you are behind closed doors being the same man you present to the world. In this first episode Keegan walks through the five arenas where men apologise for themselves: the body, the voice, the want, the no, and the mask. Then he lays out the path out of it, starting with an honest audit of where you actually are and ending with visibility. He also makes the case that none of this gets solved by thinking harder. Most of the men Keegan works with are business owners, C-suite leaders, people with real intelligence and a real work ethic. Being smart has never once fixed a doing problem. Identity shifts through action, not analysis. Your action step this week: subscribe, and block out the time you're going to listen. Car journey, dog walk, wherever it fits. Find and connect with Keegan:  Instagram GMC Instagram Email: keegan@gmanscoaching.com  Click here to subscribe to Keegan's weekly newsletter For more behind the scenes content about Keegan and GMC, watch him on YouTube

  2. Jul 27

    Anthony Dunford: The Best I'd Been Isn't the Best I Could Be

    Anthony Dunford has been with Keegan for six years, since before GMC was called GMC and back when the weekly call sometimes had two people on it. He's one of three clients still standing from that first cohort. In 2019 Anthony was 47, a teacher who had been in the same school for over twenty years, still closeted, with a career that had stalled and a mum who had just started with dementia. Then he paid off his mortgage. He talks here about opening the letter on a grey October afternoon and feeling nothing at all, no glitter, nobody in the house, just a line from Death of a Salesman going round his head about spending twenty five years paying for a place with nobody left to live in it. That was the moment he thought the rest of his life was going to be spent on the sofa. He's 53 now. New job after three decades in the same building, a promotion to senior teacher at a sixth form college, a Pride badge on his lapel and a beach holiday booked for August. The thing he wouldn't have booked before. Keegan and Anthony go back through how that actually happened, and Anthony is honest that most of it came down to two things: deciding to be deliberate rather than passive, and eventually working out that a room full of GMC members is not a room he needs to escape from. He describes scanning the first London event for a seat by the window so he could flip the chair and be out through it before anyone noticed. What's covered: The moment paying off a mortgage felt like an ending rather than an achievementWhy being deliberate matters more than being motivatedThe interview Anthony talked himself into by saying "you deserve this" in a bathroom mirrorWhy the ceiling you think you've hit is usually just the highest point you've reached so farWhat Anthony would say to guys who don't think they're a community personTaking what you need from GMC and leaving the rest, the room of requirements approachWhat he's still working on at 53The Cornwall retreat is coming up in August and there are still a small number of spots. Three nights, breathwork, yoga, training outdoors, a private chef and twenty other men doing similar work on themselves. If you've been sat on the fence about it, this episode is a decent argument for getting off it. Email support@gmanscoaching.com Find and connect with Keegan and the GMC Community:  Instagram GMC Instagram Email: keegan@gmanscoaching.com  Click here to subscribe to Keegan's weekly newsletter For more behind the scenes content about Keegan and GMC, watch him on YouTube

  3. Jul 13

    The Optimisation Trap: When Systems Start Running Your Life

    This week Keegan draws a line most people never think to draw: the difference between building a life and running from yourself. He's honest that this isn't an anti-optimisation episode. He tracks his macros, he trains, he loves a system, and he'll defend all of that. But there's a tipping point most high performers miss, the moment optimising your life quietly turns into optimising your worth. That's when a day off stops feeling like recovery and starts feeling like falling behind. Keegan connects this directly to gay men specifically: growing up needing to earn love, respect and acceptance builds an armour where achievement becomes currency and being exceptional feels like the only route to being acceptable. He unpacks why that drive so often gets mistaken for ambition, and why chasing it without rest just keeps you proving you're enough rather than actually living. What's covered: The difference between optimising your life and optimising your self-worthWhy standards matter, and why your quality of life is tied to the standards you actually live byWhy gay men in particular fall into the overachiever trap, and where that pattern usually startsWhy you get stronger in recovery, not in the sessionWhy achieving the thing rarely feels like enough, and what that cycle actually costs youPermission to rest without earning it firstOne spot left on the Cornwall retreat this August. Three nights, twenty other men on a similar journey, breathwork, good food, real conversation. If you've been thinking about it, now's the time. If you'd like to join us, email support@gmanscoaching.com Find and connect with Keegan and the GMC Community:  Instagram GMC Instagram Email: keegan@gmanscoaching.com  Click here to subscribe to Keegan's weekly newsletter For more behind the scenes content about Keegan and GMC, watch him on YouTube

  4. Jun 29

    Believe Before It's Real: The Three Lessons That Built GMC

    This week's episode is personal. Keegan paid tribute to John, a rugby league coach who shaped not just his career but who he became as a person. John passed away recently, and rather than let those lessons die with him, Keegan's sharing three principles that have fundamentally changed how he coaches, how he built GMC, and how you can approach your own transformation. The three lessons are simple. Delusional belief in where you're going. Boring, disciplined execution on the basics. And the understanding that there's always another game - so fear of failure doesn't have to paralyse you. Keegan walks through real stories from his rugby days that show exactly how these work in practice, and connects them back to what he's seeing with GMC members right now. The common thread: champion people aren't built from doing extraordinary things ordinarily well. They're built from doing ordinary things extraordinarily well. What's covered: Belief before evidence: why you need to feel delusional about your destinationThe power of showing up when nobody believes yet (including yourself)Playing the percentages: why the sexy plays lose to boring consistencyThere's always another game: how to stop fearing failureThe story of Sheffield beating Wigan, and why John stayed calmWhat "head in the fridge, heart in the oven" actually meansHow these lessons directly shaped GMC and who Keegan is todayFind and connect with Keegan and the GMC Community:  Instagram GMC Instagram Email: keegan@gmanscoaching.com  Click here to subscribe to Keegan's weekly newsletter For more behind the scenes content about Keegan and GMC, watch him on YouTube

  5. Jun 22

    When Life Gets Messy - Success Coach Peadar Hughes on Staying Consistent

    Peadar Hughes is one of our success coaches, and he's exceptional at something most people struggle with: staying consistent when life gets messy. Here's the thing: most people know what to do. Train, eat well, get steps in. The problem isn't knowledge. It's staying consistent when work gets mad, when perfectionism creeps in, when one bad day becomes a reason to give up entirely. Peadar specialises in helping clients navigate that gap. In this episode, he and Keegan dig into the patterns he's seeing with over 40 clients - the ones that keep people stuck, the ones that set them free, and the surprisingly small habits that create big ripples of change. What's covered: Why people won't celebrate their winsPerfection paralysis: the "100 club" trapHow 80% consistency over time beats 100% for a sprintIdentity shifts and becoming the person who gets it doneNice coaching vs. letting people off the hookSmall habits with massive impact (journaling, the 30-minute delay)Why your coach needs to live what they teachBuilding confidence through follow-throughThree rules to live by for the next seven daysFind and connect with Keegan and the GMC Community:  Instagram GMC Instagram Email: keegan@gmanscoaching.com  Click here to subscribe to Keegan's weekly newsletter For more behind the scenes content about Keegan and GMC, watch him on YouTube

  6. Jun 15

    Stop Waiting to Be Healed

    A lot of gay coaching is built around healing shame. Keegan isn't here to say that's wrong. Shame is real. The stuff that gets wired into us growing up as gay men in a straight world, learning to hide, learning we're different, that's not invented. It matters. It needs acknowledging and working through. But there's a version of gay personal development that becomes a waiting room. You sit in it processing your childhood, doing the inner work, and you wait until you're fixed enough to actually live your life. This episode is about why that waiting room is a comfortable trap. The argument Keegan makes is a simple one: you don't heal your way into a good life. You build your way into one. Confidence isn't buried in your past waiting to be dug up. You earn it by doing hard things, building a body you're proud of, doing work that means something, being in relationships that actually challenge you. As you build those things, the old shame quietly loses its grip. Inner work has a place. But it earns that place when you pair it with specific action. Otherwise it's just rumination with a fancy word. What's covered: The difference between processing shame and hiding behind itWhy healing becomes an identity with no finish line for a lot of gay menConfidence as something you build, not something you unearthWhy you can't think your way out of a doing problemHow to out-build shame rather than just sit with itWhat this looks like inside GMCAlso in this episode: a look ahead to the Unapologetic Man Live event in London this Saturday (20th June), the Cornwall retreat, and the Montreal MAD deposit deadline at the end of June. Wnat to join us at one of our upcoming events? Email Keegan on keegan@gmanscoaching.com Find and connect with Keegan and the GMC Community:  Instagram GMC Instagram Email: keegan@gmanscoaching.com  Click here to subscribe to Keegan's weekly newsletter For more behind the scenes content about Keegan and GMC, watch him on YouTube

  7. Jun 8

    Why Success Felt Empty - Greg's Journey from Hidden to Unapologetic

    Greg is a senior tech leader who spent 30 years climbing the ladder. Good salary, senior position, stability - all the external markers of success. At 50, approaching what he thought would be his peak, he had one major problem: he didn't actually like his life. He joined GMC thinking he needed to sort his body out - get fit before it was too late. What he discovered was that the physical stuff was never the real problem. It was a symptom. The real issue ran deeper: limiting beliefs about who he was, what he deserved, and what was possible for him. A lifetime of staying small, masking, and convincing himself that this was just how things had to be. In this episode, Greg and Keegan dig into how one journey (fitness) unlocked another (career purpose and identity), why community is often what high-achieving men are actually missing, and what happens when you stop asking "what's expected of me?" and start asking "what do I actually want?" What's covered: Why success can feel hollow if it's built on shame and maskingHow limiting beliefs keep smart, accomplished people trapped for decadesThe connection between physical transformation and identity workWhat it takes to pivot your career after 30 yearsLegacy thinking and why giving back changes everythingBuilding confidence from 1/10 to 7/10 in 18 monthsFind and connect with Keegan and the GMC Community:  Instagram GMC Instagram Email: keegan@gmanscoaching.com  Click here to subscribe to Keegan's weekly newsletter For more behind the scenes content about Keegan and GMC, watch him on YouTube

  8. May 25

    Matt Print: Two Breakups, a Zumba Class, and Why Gay Men Need Gay Friends

    Matt Print has been coaching for 15 years. He came into fitness sideways, through a breakup and a Zumba class at the back of a studio, then a second breakup that got him lifting properly. He lost four stone and kept it off without obsessive tracking or rigid rules, which shaped everything about how he coaches now.  In this episode Matt and Keegan get into what actually draws gay men to coaching, what keeps them stuck, and why the fear of letting your coach down is one of the most destructive patterns in a coaching relationship. Matt is honest about his own journey, including the part where he used to wear "you don't look gay" as a badge of honour and now sees it for exactly what it was. What's covered: Why community, specifically gay community, matters more than most gay men will admitThe perfectionism trap: why clients go quiet exactly when they should be leaning inEngineering your environment so consistency isn't a willpower battleWhat's different about coaching gay men, and why having straight coaches in the mix matters tooThe old belief that no longer fits the evidence, and what to do when you notice the gapFind and connect with Keegan and the GMC Community:  Instagram GMC Instagram Email: keegan@gmanscoaching.com  Click here to subscribe to Keegan's weekly newsletter For more behind the scenes content about Keegan and GMC, watch him on YouTube

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Authentic gay conversations on personal development, life coaching, and mental health. Join Keegan Hirst (founder of The Unapologetic Man and Gay Man's Coaching) a former professional rugby player, for weekly real talk about gay lifestyle, coming out, relationships, business, and authentic living. Deep, honest conversations that help gay men build confidence, find community, and create vibrant, unapologetic lives.

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