What happens when the voice you were taught to believe was God’s voice becomes the voice telling you that you’re going to hell?In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with licensed psychotherapist SC Nealy, an LGBTQ+ affirming therapist specializing in religious trauma, LGBTQ+ issues, and relationship counseling, to unpack what happens when faith, identity, shame, fear, and trauma become intertwined.SC shares their personal experience growing up in an ultra-conservative evangelical environment, being taught from a young age to fear LGBTQ+ identity, and eventually finding freedom in embracing who they are. SC also opens up about being kicked out of a church after coming out, navigating religious trauma, and how those experiences ultimately shaped their work as a therapist.In this conversation, we talk about:• How to recognize religious trauma• The difference between guilt and shame• How high-control religious environments can impact LGBTQ+ identity• Why LGBTQ+ people can struggle with identity exploration after religious trauma• Why the fear of hell can remain even after leaving or deconstructing from the church• How religious trauma can affect your nervous system• Why you can intellectually know something isn't true while your body still feels unsafe• Practical grounding techniques for moments of fear, shame and anxiety• The impact of being rejected by your church or family• Whether you can be LGBTQ+ AND Christian• How to separate God’s voice from the messages we’ve been taught by people• Why healing often means moving away from black-and-white thinking• How finding safe LGBTQ+ community can help with healing• What it means to stay in religion while actively challenging oppressive systems• Why SC believes we should lean into curiosity instead of certaintyOne of the most powerful moments in this conversation is when SC explains that religious trauma isn't always one huge traumatic event. For many people, it's “a thousand cuts over time” — layer upon layer of shame, fear, rejection, control and messages that teach your body it isn't safe.And if you've ever left the church, accepted your LGBTQ+ identity, or begun deconstructing your faith but still occasionally find yourself thinking:“What if they're right?”“What if I'm going to hell?”“What if I'm doing something wrong?”SC explains why those thoughts and feelings can continue long after you've intellectually rejected the beliefs that caused them — and why healing isn't always about convincing your mind. Sometimes, it's about teaching your body that you're safe.We also talk about how community can play a powerful role in healing from religious trauma, especially for LGBTQ+ people who have experienced rejection from their families or churches. As SC explains, what is broken in groups can sometimes be healed in groups.SC's book, Healing Sacred Wounds, explores religious trauma and invites readers to ask questions rather than simply accepting someone else's answers. SC's goal isn't to tell people what to believe — it's to help people examine what they've experienced and decide what they believe for themselves.If you've experienced religious trauma, church hurt, spiritual abuse, Christian deconstruction, LGBTQ+ rejection, fear of hell, shame surrounding your identity, or confusion about how your faith and sexuality can coexist, this episode is for you.You don't have to choose between who you are and your relationship with God.🌈 JOIN THE YOU CAN BE BOTH COMMUNITYA safe community for LGBTQ+ people of faith:YouCanBeBoth.com/community📖 SC Nealy's book — Healing Sacred WoundsLearn more at lgbtcounselingdmv.com/healing-sacred-wounds🎙️ Subscribe to You Can Be Both for conversations about LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, deconstruction, faith, healing, and learning that you really can be both.If this episode speaks to you, like, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs to hear this.#YouCanBeBoth
