You Can Be Both

Lauren Lanzaretta
  • 4.9 (37)
  • Sexuality
  • Updated Weekly

You Can Be Both is hosted by singer/songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, who shares honest conversations about being both gay and Christian—two identities often seen as incompatible. The podcast creates space for LGBTQ+ people of faith to find healing, community, and a deeper connection with Christ while fully embracing who they are. As a first step to your healing journey, I recommend the “LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide” - go to www.youcanbeboth.com for this and other resources. Join the You Can Be Both Community App https://youcanbeboth.mn.co/plans/1984569?bundle_token=a02f1c1a95e905aa187210545

  1. 2d ago

    Lesbian Relationships: Sex, Exes & Everything We Don’t Talk About

    What makes a healthy lesbian relationship work? How do you navigate communication, conflict, intimacy, and keeping the spark alive? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Dr. Lorri Sulpizio, a leadership psychologist, relationship coach, and director of the Conscious Leadership Academy at the University of San Diego, for an honest conversation about lesbian relationships—the good, the bad, and the ugly.They discuss dating, attachment, boundaries, relationship trauma, navigating exes, codependency versus healthy interdependence, maintaining individuality, and becoming a healthier partner.And yes—we talk about sex, desire, body confidence, romance, and whether lesbian bed death is real. ❤️‍🔥For LGBTQ+ people of faith, they also explore how religious shame can impact our relationship with our bodies, sexuality, and self-worth—and how we can begin unlearning those messages. Whether you’re single, dating, or in a long-term relationship, this episode offers encouragement and practical insight for building love rooted in trust, communication, authenticity, and joy. 🌈 In this episode, we talk about: 🏳️‍🌈 Lesbian relationships 💗 Healthy relationships and dating 🚩 Red flags and green flags 🧠 Trauma and relationship patterns 💬 Communication and conflict 🤝 Codependency vs. healthy interdependence 👩‍❤️‍👩 Navigating exes 🌱 Maintaining individuality 🔥 Romance, intimacy, and desire 💋 Is lesbian bed death real? ❤️ Body confidence and sexuality ✝️ Religious shame and LGBTQ+ identity About Dr. Lorri Sulpizio Dr. Lorri Sulpizio is a leadership psychologist, executive and relationship coach, and director of the Conscious Leadership Academy at the University of San Diego. She works with individuals, couples, teams, and organizations to build stronger relationships, healthier cultures, and greater confidence.🎧 Subscribe to You Can Be Both for more conversations about faith, sexuality, relationships, healing, and authenticity. ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTH You Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and what it means to know that you can be both. 🌈 JOIN THE YOU CAN BE BOTH COMMUNITY: youcanbeboth.com/community 🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5Cnw4wOsCyYeVHzAif?si=UQLfKf5lTq6Zlx1BspX1lw ✨ LEARN MORE: youcanbeboth.com If this episode connected with you, subscribe, leave a comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear that they don't have to choose between who they are and their relationship with God. #GayChristian #LGBTQChristian #GayCouple #Christianity #LGBTQFaith #GayAndChristian #ReligiousTrauma #ConversionTherapy #AffirmingChurch #YouCanBeBoth #LesbianRelationships #LesbianDating #HealthyRelationships #LGBTQRelationships #LesbianLove #QueerRelationships #RelationshipAdvice #LesbianBedDeath #LGBTQWomen #RelationshipCoach #RelationshipTrauma #EmotionalIntimacy #LGBTQFaith #ReligiousTrauma #YouCanBeBoth

  2. Sep 6

    Gay, Christian & Married: Their Fight to Belong in the Church

    What happens when two gay Christian men fall in love—but one of them is a pastor?In this deeply personal episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Kade Rogers and Dr. Greg Neal, a married gay Christian couple whose journey brings together love, faith, coming out, church, and the struggle to live authentically.Greg is an ordained pastor and theologian who spent years wrestling with his sexuality, faith, and the fear of what coming out could mean for his ministry. Kade came from a very different background, but when the two met, a friendship unexpectedly grew into love.Their relationship challenged everything they thought they knew about faith, identity, and what it means to truly live openly. Together, they navigated the difficult realities of being a gay couple within the church while holding onto their love for God and each other.Their story is ultimately about love, courage, faith, and finding a way to belong without hiding who you are.In this conversation, we talk about:❤️ Their love story and how they met✝️ Being gay and Christian💍 Same-sex marriage and faith🏳️‍🌈 Coming out later in life⛪ Church hurt and religious trauma📖 What the Bible actually says about homosexuality💔 Conversion therapy and its lasting impact🔥 Facing hatred from other Christians🙏 Finding an affirming church🌈 What it really means for a church to be LGBTQ affirming❤️ Choosing love instead of fear🫂 Creating a church where LGBTQ people truly belongIf you've ever wondered whether you can be gay, Christian, and fully yourself, I hope this conversation reminds you:You don't have to choose between who you are and your relationship with God.You can be both.Subscribe to You Can Be Both for more honest conversations about LGBTQ identity, Christianity, healing, faith, and belonging.ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTHYou Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and what it means to know that you can be both.🌈 JOIN THE YOU CAN BE BOTH COMMUNITY:youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC:https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5Cnw4wOsCyYeVHzAif?si=Uq3s_dhUTXmZmTsHxneDTA✨ LEARN MORE:youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, follow, leave a comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear that they don't have to choose between who they are and their relationship with God.#GayChristian #LGBTQChristian #GayCouple #Christianity #LGBTQFaith #GayAndChristian #ReligiousTrauma #ConversionTherapy #AffirmingChurch #YouCanBeBoth

  3. Aug 30

    This Lesbian Christian MMA Fighter Refused To Give Up Being Gay -- Here's Why

    What happens when you're told you can't be gay AND have a relationship with God? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with professional MMA and bare-knuckle fighter Miranda Barber for an honest conversation about being lesbian, Christian, family rejection, relationships, faith, and finding your purpose. Miranda shares her story of coming out as a teenager, leaving home at 17, finding her identity in Christ, and learning not to let other people's opinions determine her relationship with God.She also talks about her career as a fighter, toxic relationships, resilience, and why she believes her fight is about so much more than what's happening inside the ring. This episode is for you if: • You struggle with being gay and Christian • You've been told your sexuality separates you from God • You've experienced rejection from your family or church • You're questioning whether you can be LGBTQ and still have faith • You're a gay Christian healing from religious trauma • You've struggled with toxic relationships or finding your worth • You want to hear an LGBTQ Christian perspective that is honest, hopeful, and unapologetic 🥊 MIRANDA'S NEXT FIGHT Miranda's next bare-knuckle fight is October 23, 2026 in Biloxi, Mississippi. Follow her on Instagram for updates and fight camp coverage. ABOUT MIRANDA BARBER Miranda Barber is a professional MMA and bare-knuckle fighter, coach, mentor, lesbian, and Christian. She has spent 15 years in boxing and has competed in the Professional Fighters League. ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTH You Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and what it means to know that you can be both.🌈 JOIN THE YOU CAN BE BOTH COMMUNITY: youcanbeboth.com/community 🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5Cnw4wOsCyYeVHzAif?si=0nGICoZsTFWvhUZ9jrb_Ww ✨ LEARN MORE: youcanbeboth.com If this episode connected with you, subscribe, leave a comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear that they don't have to choose between who they are and their relationship with God. #LGBTQ, #LGBTQFaith, #GayChristian, #LesbianChristian, #ChristianLesbian, #LGBTQChristians, #YouCanBeBoth, #ReligiousTrauma, #FaithAndSexuality, #ChristianPodcast, #LGBTQPodcast, #MMA, #MMAFighter, #LesbianAthlete, #BareKnuckleBoxing, #MirandaBarber, #LaurenLanzaretta

  4. Aug 24

    What Happens When You’re GAY in an Ultra-Orthodox Jewish Community?

    What happens when you grow up believing there is only one path to God… and then realize that path requires you to deny who you are? In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Dr. Sara Glass, a psychotherapist, author, and lesbian who was raised in an ultra-Orthodox Hasidic Jewish community in Brooklyn. Sara shares what it was like growing up in a deeply religious community where girls were prepared for marriage from a young age, sexuality was heavily controlled, and questioning the rules could mean losing your family and community. She opens up about being married at 19, believing she was supposed to overcome her attraction to women, and eventually realizing that she was gay. Sara also answers one of Lauren’s biggest questions: Is Orthodox Judaism a cult? Her answer is nuanced and deeply personal. Sara explains why she believes the particular sect she was raised in met the criteria of a cult, while also emphasizing that Orthodox Jewish communities and families are not all the same. The conversation also explores religious trauma, LGBTQ identity, coming out, family rejection, deconstruction, purity culture, sexuality and religion, and whether it is possible to be both LGBTQ and Jewish. And perhaps most importantly, Sara talks about the places where LGBTQ Jews CAN find community, support, and a way to hold onto their faith without abandoning themselves. If you've ever been told you have to choose between your identity and your relationship with God, this conversation is for you. ABOUT DR. SARA GLASS Dr. Sara Glass is a psychotherapist in New York City, author of Kissing Girls on Shabbat, and a clinical expert who works with people navigating trauma, relationships, sexuality, and religious deconstruction. She also works with people leaving ultra-Orthodox communities. Sara's story offers a powerful look at what happens when religious belief, sexuality, family, and identity collide. ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTH You Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God. Lauren Lanzaretta created this space to remind LGBTQ people that your sexuality does not have to mean losing your faith, your spirituality, or your relationship with God. 🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC Lauren is a singer-songwriter who creates music specifically for LGBTQ people of faith. Find her music on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube, and wherever you listen to music. 🌈 JOIN THE YOU CAN BE BOTH COMMUNITY Connect with other LGBTQ people of faith, join community conversations, attend Wellness Wednesdays, participate in book club, hear from guest speakers, and build real friendships with people who understand what you've been through. youcanbeboth.com/community ✨ LEARN MORE ABOUT LAUREN + YOU CAN BE BOTH youcanbeboth.com If this episode connected with you, subscribe to You Can Be Both, leave a comment, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear that they don't have to choose between who they are and what they believe. #LGBTQ #ReligiousTrauma #OrthodoxJudaism #LGBTQFaith #JewishLGBTQ #GayChristian #Deconstruction #ReligiousDeconstruction #LGBTQPodcast

  5. Aug 16

    You Were Raised to FEAR God & Hell — But Here’s Why You Shouldn’t

    What happens when the voice you were taught to believe was God’s voice becomes the voice telling you that you’re going to hell?In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with licensed psychotherapist SC Nealy, an LGBTQ+ affirming therapist specializing in religious trauma, LGBTQ+ issues, and relationship counseling, to unpack what happens when faith, identity, shame, fear, and trauma become intertwined.SC shares their personal experience growing up in an ultra-conservative evangelical environment, being taught from a young age to fear LGBTQ+ identity, and eventually finding freedom in embracing who they are. SC also opens up about being kicked out of a church after coming out, navigating religious trauma, and how those experiences ultimately shaped their work as a therapist.In this conversation, we talk about:• How to recognize religious trauma• The difference between guilt and shame• How high-control religious environments can impact LGBTQ+ identity• Why LGBTQ+ people can struggle with identity exploration after religious trauma• Why the fear of hell can remain even after leaving or deconstructing from the church• How religious trauma can affect your nervous system• Why you can intellectually know something isn't true while your body still feels unsafe• Practical grounding techniques for moments of fear, shame and anxiety• The impact of being rejected by your church or family• Whether you can be LGBTQ+ AND Christian• How to separate God’s voice from the messages we’ve been taught by people• Why healing often means moving away from black-and-white thinking• How finding safe LGBTQ+ community can help with healing• What it means to stay in religion while actively challenging oppressive systems• Why SC believes we should lean into curiosity instead of certaintyOne of the most powerful moments in this conversation is when SC explains that religious trauma isn't always one huge traumatic event. For many people, it's “a thousand cuts over time” — layer upon layer of shame, fear, rejection, control and messages that teach your body it isn't safe.And if you've ever left the church, accepted your LGBTQ+ identity, or begun deconstructing your faith but still occasionally find yourself thinking:“What if they're right?”“What if I'm going to hell?”“What if I'm doing something wrong?”SC explains why those thoughts and feelings can continue long after you've intellectually rejected the beliefs that caused them — and why healing isn't always about convincing your mind. Sometimes, it's about teaching your body that you're safe.We also talk about how community can play a powerful role in healing from religious trauma, especially for LGBTQ+ people who have experienced rejection from their families or churches. As SC explains, what is broken in groups can sometimes be healed in groups.SC's book, Healing Sacred Wounds, explores religious trauma and invites readers to ask questions rather than simply accepting someone else's answers. SC's goal isn't to tell people what to believe — it's to help people examine what they've experienced and decide what they believe for themselves.If you've experienced religious trauma, church hurt, spiritual abuse, Christian deconstruction, LGBTQ+ rejection, fear of hell, shame surrounding your identity, or confusion about how your faith and sexuality can coexist, this episode is for you.You don't have to choose between who you are and your relationship with God.🌈 JOIN THE YOU CAN BE BOTH COMMUNITYA safe community for LGBTQ+ people of faith:YouCanBeBoth.com/community📖 SC Nealy's book — Healing Sacred WoundsLearn more at lgbtcounselingdmv.com/healing-sacred-wounds🎙️ Subscribe to You Can Be Both for conversations about LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, deconstruction, faith, healing, and learning that you really can be both.If this episode speaks to you, like, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs to hear this.#YouCanBeBoth

  6. Aug 9

    STOP Street Preaching: Why It’s Driving People Further From Jesus

    Is street preaching actually biblical — or is it pushing people further away from Jesus? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren Lanzaretta takes a deeper look at street preachers, aggressive evangelism, and the Christians who show up at Pride events with signs of condemnation. After several uncomfortable encounters with street evangelists herself, Lauren asks an important question: Is this really how Jesus taught Christians to reach people? We look at what the Bible actually says about evangelism, how Jesus treated people, religious hypocrisy, the psychology behind why forceful preaching can create resistance, and research suggesting people are far more receptive to conversations about faith through genuine relationships than strangers preaching at them on the street. Lauren also explores the culture surrounding aggressive street preaching, masculinity, authority, religious fundamentalism, and why confronting street preachers can sometimes reinforce their belief that they are being persecuted for telling “the truth.” For LGBTQ+ people who have already experienced rejection, discrimination, and religious trauma, being confronted with condemnation at Pride or in public spaces can be especially painful. So how should LGBTQ+ Christians respond? Maybe the most powerful form of evangelism isn’t yelling louder. Maybe it’s loving people. Serving people. Knowing people. Listening to people. And allowing our lives to demonstrate the love of Jesus before our words ever do. 🌈 **Join the You Can Be Both community for LGBTQ+ people of faith:** youcanbeboth.com/community 🎙️ Subscribe for weekly conversations about LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, faith, religious trauma, deconstruction, healing, and what it means to know that **you can be both.**

  7. Aug 2

    What Every Christian Parent Should Do When Their Child Comes Out As LGBTQ+

    What should Christian parents do when their child comes out as gay, transgender, or nonbinary? In this deeply personal episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Shari Bruck—a mother of two LGBTQ+ children—to discuss faith deconstruction, religious fear, unconditional love, and what it truly means to support your child. Raised in a strict Catholic family, Shari grew up surrounded by religious shame, guilt, patriarchy, and the belief that there was only one acceptable path to God. As she began questioning those teachings, she developed a spirituality rooted not in fear or control, but in love, curiosity, acceptance, and our shared humanity. Years later, both of Shari’s children came out—Taylor as gay and Riley as LGBTQ+, gender-nonconforming, and using they/them pronouns. Shari shares honestly about what came naturally, what required learning, the mistakes she has made, and why parents do not need to understand everything about their child’s identity in order to love and respect them. This conversation explores: • How parents should respond when their child comes out • Why being LGBTQ+ is not a choice • Learning to use they/them pronouns • Supporting a nonbinary or gender-nonconforming child • Deconstructing harmful religious beliefs • The damage caused by shame, rejection, and religious fear • Why rejecting your LGBTQ child will not change who they are • Finding chosen family when your biological family does not accept you • Choosing love even when you do not fully understand As Shari powerfully explains, your child is still the same person you have always known and loved. Coming out does not change them—it allows you to know them more honestly and deeply. “You’re not going to pray the gay away. You’re not going to ostracize the gay away.” For every Christian parent struggling to understand their LGBTQ+ child, this episode offers a simple place to begin: pause, listen, ask questions, keep your heart open, and default to love. If your family has rejected you because of your sexuality or gender identity, please remember: you are worthy of love, you are not alone, and there are people who will accept you exactly as you are. Join the You Can Be Both Community: YouCanBeBoth.com Subscribe for honest conversations about LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, faith deconstruction, religious trauma, healing, inclusion, and discovering that you truly can be both. CHAPTERS: 00:00 Meet Shari Bruck 00:43 Growing up in strict Catholicism 02:38 Deconstructing religion and redefining spirituality 07:31 Creating a home where children feel safe 10:24 When Taylor came out as gay 15:16 Loving LGBTQ children without shame 23:50 Learning about nonbinary identity and they/them pronouns 31:19 Why parents should “default to love” 36:05 How to respond when your child comes out 40:37 Religious fear versus your child’s truth 45:08 Accepting yourself and finding chosen family 48:29 Let love be your guiding principle #LGBTQChristian #ChristianParents #YouCanBeBoth

  8. Jul 19

    Bible Scholar DESTROYS the "Being Gay Is a Sin" Argument

    If you've ever wondered whether you can be both LGBTQ+ and Christian, this conversation is for you. In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Mattie Mae Motl—a progressive Bible scholar, Master of Divinity graduate, and PhD candidate studying gender, sexuality, and the New Testament—to unpack some of Christianity's biggest questions. Together they discuss: ✨ Is being gay really a sin? ✨ What the Bible actually says about LGBTQ people ✨ The "clobber verses" explained ✨ Why Jesus never mentioned homosexuality ✨ How deconstruction can strengthen—not destroy—your faith ✨ Women, patriarchy, and the Bible ✨ Why love—not fear—is the lens Jesus taught us to read Scripture through ✨ How LGBTQ Christians can find peace with God Whether you're deconstructing your faith, healing from religious trauma, or simply searching for honest conversations about Scripture, this episode offers hope, compassion, and a fresh perspective rooted in biblical scholarship. If this conversation encouraged you, please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and share it with someone who needs to hear that you really can be both LGBTQ and a person of faith. ❤️ Join the You Can Be Both Community: youcanbeboth.com 🎙️ Follow Mattie Mae Motl: @mattiemaemotl 🎙️ Follow Lauren: @Lanzaretta 📖 Follow You Can Be Both: @youcanbeboth

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Ratings & Reviews

4.9
out of 5
37 Ratings

About

You Can Be Both is hosted by singer/songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, who shares honest conversations about being both gay and Christian—two identities often seen as incompatible. The podcast creates space for LGBTQ+ people of faith to find healing, community, and a deeper connection with Christ while fully embracing who they are. As a first step to your healing journey, I recommend the “LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide” - go to www.youcanbeboth.com for this and other resources. Join the You Can Be Both Community App https://youcanbeboth.mn.co/plans/1984569?bundle_token=a02f1c1a95e905aa187210545

Information

  • Creator
    Lauren Lanzaretta
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    45
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Lauren Lanzaretta
  • Show Website
    You Can Be Both

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