The Recovering Radical

Allison Rose
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The Recovering Radical Podcast is for people like you, who left high-control churches… but still feel the guilt, fear, or pressure echoing inside. Hosted by coach and recovering charismatic Allison Rose, this show helps you: unwind internalized rules and shamerebuild deep, steady self-trustreconnect with your intuitionexplore a spirituality rooted in freedom, love, and presenceregulate your nervous system and feel safe in your own bodystep into a life where you get to choose what’s true for you No doctrines. No agendas. No pressure to “believe the right thing.” Just honest conversations, lived experience, and grounded tools to help you come home to yourself again. If you’ve ever thought: “I left the church, but the church didn’t leave me,” this is your space — your exhale — your next chapter. New episodes regularly.

Episodes

  1. 2d ago ·  Bonus

    What Purity Culture Did to Men: LIVE with Kate Johnson and Jacob Goodin

    What happens when purity culture doesn't just shame women—but also teaches men they're inherently dangerous? In this live episode recording, we explore the hidden ways purity culture wounds everyone. Joined by Jacob Goodin of The Ex-Homeschoolers Club and Kate Johnson of Quips and Confessionals, we unpack the messages many of us grew up hearing: men can't control themselves, women are responsible for men's thoughts, and sexuality is something to fear rather than understand. Together, we discuss the emotional consequences of growing up in evangelical culture—from shame, secrecy, and "accountability groups" to the impossible switch from "sex is sinful" to "sex is holy" after marriage. We examine how these teachings distort masculinity, create unhealthy relationship dynamics, fuel entitlement and shame, and leave many people disconnected from themselves and their partners. Rather than comparing who suffered more, this conversation asks a different question: What if purity culture dehumanized all of us in different ways? If you're untangling religious conditioning, recovering from sexual shame, redefining masculinity or femininity, or simply trying to build healthier relationships after faith, this episode offers an honest, compassionate conversation about what healing can actually look like. How purity culture uniquely impacts menThe "apple pie" analogy and other damaging purity lessonsWhy shame is mistaken for sexual addictionThe emotional cost of accountability cultureDeconstructing harmful ideas about masculinityHow purity culture dehumanizes both men and womenThe impossible transition from "sex is bad" to "sex is good" after marriageSexual shame, pornography, and secrecyWhy curiosity and sexual development are normalThe connection between purity culture and unhealthy marriagesEmotional vulnerability as a healthier model of masculinityBreaking the shame cycle through connectionHealthy sexuality versus entitlementReclaiming identity beyond sexualityResources that helped deconstruct purity culture If you've asked yourself, Why do so many men experience shame around sexuality?Why is it so difficult to enjoy sex after growing up in purity culture?How does purity culture enable entitlement and abuse?How can men develop a healthier understanding of masculinity?What does healthy sexuality actually look like after deconstruction? ...this episode might just be for you Follow more of Allison! Instagram- @real_allison_rose TikTok- @real_allison_rose YouTube- @real_allison_rose Follow Kate and Jacob! Instagram @katejohnsonwrites @thejacobgooden

  2. Jul 13

    Feminist Scum- finding your intuition and creativity after trauma deconstruction (with Kate Johnson)

    “Women can be the most competent person in the room and still get told they’re not good enough to speak.” Church trauma is real. The wounds left from abuse stay with us in our bodies, minds, and spirits. From purity culture to patriarchy, from burnout to backlash, there are endless reasons why so many of us take a step back from those environments.  But the abuse doesn’t have to define our story.  Kate Johnson is a writer, advocate, and survivor who is using her voice and creativity to bring light to the deconstruction community. She knows what it was like to experience trauma and come out on the other side. She knows what it means for the body to hold on to pain, and to learn how to find her voice again.  In this episode, we dive deep into the struggles, triumphs, and messiness of deconstructing and finding yourself again. We talk about the systems that harmed us, the moments of quiet transformation, and how to find your own inner intuition and creativity. If you’re a survivor looking for support, if you love God but hate the corruption of the church, or if you’re simply in for a good story, this episode is for you.  Content warning timestamps: Corporal punishment: 16:05-17:43 Child SA and sex offender registry discussion: 20:43-34:36  Topics covered-  Misogynistic hate on social mediaCommunal societies vs individualist onesWhy women’s voices matterTrusting your intuitionShame from corporal punishment Finding God in the moments of peaceLiving in an isolated and ostracized familyThe flaws of the current sex offender registry The importance of social safety nets for victimsHow the body holds on to grief and shamePractices to reconnect to yourself Using creativity to move through shame Follow Kate and her work! Everywhere- @katejohnsonwrites  Substack- katejohnsonwrites.substack.com Follow more of Allison! Instagram- @real_allison_rose TikTok- @real_allison_rose YouTube- @real_allison_rose #ReligiousTrauma #Deconstruction #PurityCulture #ChurchTrauma #SomaticHealing #Exvangelical #FeministTheology #SpiritualAbuse #TraumaHealing #RecoveringRadical #Embodiment #HealingJourney #ReligiousDeconstruction #WomenHealing #TraumaRecovery

  3. Jul 10 ·  Bonus

    Redefining Community After Deconstruction w/ Kate Johnson - IG LIVE 6/30/26

    What happens after you leave church? How do you rebuild community after deconstruction without falling into another unhealthy system? In this episode, I sit down with Kate Johnson for an honest conversation about deconstruction, religious trauma, church hurt, and rebuilding community after leaving high-control Christianity. For many exvangelicals, church wasn't just a place to worship—it was your friendships, your identity, your purpose, your support system, and your sense of belonging. So when you leave, you're not just grieving your faith. You're grieving an entire way of life. Together, we explore why loneliness is such a common part of deconstruction, how high-control churches become our "one-stop shop" for community, and what it actually looks like to build authentic, life-giving relationships rooted in freedom instead of obligation. Whether you're navigating religious trauma recovery, healing from church hurt, or simply trying to figure out who you are after leaving evangelicalism, this conversation offers validation, practical ideas, and hope for creating a life that feels genuinely aligned. In this episode, we discuss: Why leaving church can feel so lonelyThe connection between religious trauma and isolationHow high-control churches shape our understanding of communityWhy making friends after deconstruction can feel so difficultPractical ways to build authentic community after leaving churchCreating belonging without sacrificing your individualityHealing from people-pleasing and finding relationships built on mutual respect If you've ever searched for: How do I make friends after leaving church?How do I heal from religious trauma?Why do I feel lonely after deconstruction?How do I find community after leaving evangelicalism? …this episode is for you. Come say hi to Allison Rose on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook. And check out Kate Johnson's work at Instagram and Substack. Keywords: deconstruction, religious trauma, exvangelical, church hurt, leaving church, high-control religion, spiritual abuse, purity culture, healing after church, rebuilding community, self-trust, authenticity, former Christian, evangelical deconstruction, religious trauma recovery.

  4. Jul 10 ·  Bonus

    Reconnecting to the Body After Purity Culture w/ Kate Johnson - IG LIVE 5/11/26

    Join Kate Johnson and Allison Rose as we discuss what it looks like to reconnect to the body after purity culture. We talk about the messages we received as young women in church around sexuality and how those messages stayed with us long after deconstruction. We also explore ways that we personally have begun to reconnect to our bodies. If you survived purity culture and wondered why you've struggled to reconnect to your body and sexuality again after leaving high-demand Christianity, this live is for you! We also discuss: Religious TraumaSexual RepressionNervous System ResponsesPredatory Culture within ChurchesHow Purity Culture Disconnects You from Normal Biological FunctionsLingering Guilt and ShameIdentityDeconstruction and Purity Culture Find Allison on Instagram, TikTok, & Facebook Check out Kate's work at Instagram & Substack

  5. Jun 22

    Surviving the IHOP cult: how devotion was used for control (with survivor Brittany Hart)

    “They made burnout feel like spirituality.” Most people would never know that some of the biggest and most influential cults are just as prevalent as your local church.  Brittany Hart is a survivor of one of the most infamous groups of the 2000s Christian culture. Poverty, unpaid labor, spiritual manipulation, cultic practices, and all-night prayer rooms are what shaped her adolescence and young adulthood. After breaking free, she is now an author, advocate, and religious-trauma coach who is helping people recover from the pain and abuse that high-control religion gives so many people.  In this episode, we dive deep into just what made this group so toxic and how to find healing after leaving. If you experienced any kind of high-control charismatic church, if you’re learning to forgive yourself for ever being a part of it, or you simply want to hear the story of a fellow survivor, this episode is for you.  Follow more of Allison! Instagram- @real_allison_rose TikTok- @real_allison_rose YouTube- @real_allison_rose Follow Brittany! Instagram- @brittanyhartwrites End-times healing course Surviving Wonderland book Topics covered: Converting from Catholicism to evangelicalism How cults give you a framework for your whole lifeHow IHOP operated as a cultWorking in the prayer room all night longHow cults give you acceptance and love like nowhere elseDefending the place that’s traumatizing youGuilt associated with non-spiritual activitiesHow the body and mind try to protect usLack of pastoral care around fasting practicesFinancial struggles and povertyHow end times theology leaves communities self-centeredMike Bickle’s SA chargesResources for people coming out of high-control religion Signs of cultic behaviour: Love bombing and elevating your purpose, meaning, or callingCreating an “us versus them” mentalityIsolation from family members, friends, or the outside worldInability to disagree with leadership without consequences  #ReligiousTrauma #CultRecovery #IHOPKC #SpiritualAbuse #Deconstruction #FaithHealing #ReligiousTraumaRecovery #ChurchAbuseAwareness #Exvangelical #TraumaHealing

  6. Jun 1

    I’m Sorry for What I Said as an Evangelical Teenager (with Layne Watkins of the Sinful Sticker Shop)

    “Tell me that’s not a cult.” Altar calls. Hell House. Covenant ceremonies. After years of growing up within ultra-evangelical churches, exclusive theology, and sexy Jesus, Layne Watkins has made a full 180 and left all the charismatic BS behind her. Now she runs the Sinful Sticker Shop, her way of atoning for the embarrassing stories from her past, something that many of us in the exvangelical space can relate to.  In this episode we dive deep into the traumas, the brainwashing, the grief, and yes, even the laguhter that comes after deconstructing and leaving it all behind. We discuss how the church jacked up our bodies, from our drives to our nervous system, and how to find healing on the journey out.  If you were apart of a system and feel embarrassed about your past self, if you still feel the consequences that high-control religion had on you, or if you simply need a laugh, this episode is for you. Join us in a conversation that is both rich and cathartic.  Content warning timestamps: 9:04- 12:33 Domestic violence Suicide Hell/afterlife torture Abortion/teen pregnancy 43:19 Miscarriage Topics in this episode: Starting a business in the deconstruction niche spaceAssemblies of God church community Hell houses for ChristExvangelical community and healingEgo and pride in evangelicalismLoyd Ziegler and Master’s Commission USA cultThe culture of financial issues as a young adultRealizing the exclusivity of the churchHaving relationships and perspective outside of your bubbleCaptivating by Lisa Bevere and “Jesus is my boyfriend” relationshipsSexual suppresion from the churchWhat healthy conversations about sex with your kids actually looks likeTrauma gained within high control religionRegulating the nervous system Follow more of Allison! Instagram- @real_allison_rose TikTok- @real_allison_rose YouTube- @real_allison_rose Connect with Layne! Shop the Sinful Sticker collection Instagram and TikTok- @sinfulstickershop #TheRecoveringRadical #Exvangelical #ReligiousTrauma #PurityCultureRecovery #DeconstructionJourney #NervousSystemHealing #ChurchTrauma #RecoveringEvangelical #SpiritualAbuseRecovery

  7. May 12

    5. Asherah: The Divine Feminine Hidden in the Bible (with Feminist Scholar Paige Hunt)

    “The divine feminine wasn’t destroyed, it was made invisible.”  Do you ever wonder why Christianity places such an emphasis on men? Do you ever look at the patriarchal church structures and wonder, where are women’s voices? The Bible has a lot to say about women, some uplifting, some suppressing, and everything in between. In this episode of the Recovering Radical, Paige Hunt takes us on a journey through biblical interpretation and archeological usurpations. With a context-dependent and pro-female approach, Paige shows us how Ancient Israel’s beliefs and practices didn’t put women down, but actually empowered them in every way.  Many of us grew up reading the Bible with a literalistic, anti-intuitive, and pro-patriarchy lens. If you’re tired of women’s voices being silenced, if you’re ready to shake the underlying power structures of church doctrine, then this episode is for you.  Topics covered: Asherah as Mother Goddess alongside YahwehApproaching the Bible as an ancient textLady Wisdom and ancient goddess figurinesHow modern scholars put their own prejudices on ancient practicesHow Israel was not “more moral” than the surrounding nationsProphecy as divination in practiceHow Yahweh evolved from the gods of the timeAsherah’s role in spiritual life and symbolism in the BibleWomen and their importance in the ancient communitiesHow Josiah banned Asherah worship, and how the divine feminine presence is still lingering even today Follow more of Allison! Instagram- @real_allison_rose TikTok- @real_allison_rose YouTube- @real_allison_rose #TheRecoveringRadical #Deconstruction #ReligiousTrauma #DivineFeminine #Asherah #Exvangelical #EmbodiedHealing #FaithDeconstruction #FeministTheology #NervousSystemHealing

  8. Mar 27

    4. Personal Pleasure as Embodied Healing After Deconstructing Purity Culture & High Control Church

    What if pleasure wasn’t something to feel guilty about… but something that could actually support your healing? In this episode of Recovering Radical, Allison Rose sits down with sexologist and intimacy coach Sarah Ward to explore how pleasure, especially personal pleasure, can become a powerful part of your healing journey after leaving high-control Christianity. Together, they unpack the impact of purity culture, shame, and performance-based sexuality, and offer a radically different perspective. One that centers curiosity, consent, and reconnecting with your body. You’ll hear about: • Why healing doesn’t have to feel heavy all the time • How pleasure can help regulate your nervous system • The difference between sensuality and sexuality (and where to start) • How goal-oriented sex creates pressure and disconnect • Rewiring beliefs in the body, not just the mind • Why shame has been used to control, and how to release it • Simple ways to reconnect with your body, even if it feels unsafe or unfamiliar This conversation is especially for those who have deconstructed mentally but still feel the residue of guilt, fear, or disconnection in their body. If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I even allowed to feel good?” this episode is your invitation to explore that question… gently. You don’t have to force anything. You don’t have to rush. You just get to begin noticing what feels safe, what feels good, and what feels like you. _______________ Sarah Ward is a Certified Sexologist and Somatic Intimacy Coach who grew up in the grip of purity culture and high-demand religion and has since reclaimed her pleasure. After decades of being systematically divorced from her own body, Sarah found solace in somatic work, which became the bedrock for her revolutionary reclamation of self and sensuality. She is the author of the weekly Substack Sex and Style and runs a private practice based in Albuquerque, NM, working with clients wherever they are. Website: https://sarahward.co/ Blog: http://sarahwardco.substack.com/

  9. Mar 13

    3. Mental Load, Consent, & Pleasure in Marriage (w/ S*xologist Sarah Ward) [Part 2]

    What happens when purity culture shapes how you think about s*x, marriage, and your own body? In this episode of The Recovering Radical, Allison sits down with s*xologist and intimacy coach Sarah Ward to unpack the lasting impact of harmful Christian teachings around sex and relationships. Together they explore how purity culture, “wifely duty,” and traditional Christian marriage advice often ignored consent, erased female pleasure, and placed the emotional and sexual burden of marriage on women. This conversation dives into the mental load many women carry in relationships, how obligation can quietly replace true consent, and why so many people raised in the church struggle to reconnect with their bodies and desires. They also talk about how these dynamics can contribute to r*pe culture inside religious environments and what it looks like to reclaim autonomy, pleasure, and healthy intimacy after leaving high-control religious systems. If you grew up with purity culture, evangelical marriage teachings, or religious messaging that made s*x feel confusing, shameful, or transactional, this conversation will help you start untangling those narratives. Topics they discuss: • purity culture and Christian marriage teachings • consent vs obligation in long-term relationships • the mental load many women carry in intimacy • female pleasure and body autonomy • how religious environments can reinforce rape culture • rebuilding healthy sexuality after religious harm _______________ Sarah Ward is a Certified Sexologist and Somatic Intimacy Coach who grew up in the grip of purity culture and high-demand religion and has since reclaimed her pleasure. After decades of being systematically divorced from her own body, Sarah found solace in somatic work, which became the bedrock for her revolutionary reclamation of self and sensuality. She is the author of the weekly Substack Sex and Style and runs a private practice based in Albuquerque, NM, working with clients wherever they are. Website: https://sarahward.co/ Blog: http://sarahwardco.substack.com The Problematic Concept of Modesty: https://sarahwardco.substack.com/p/the-problematic-concept-of-modesty

  10. Jan 29

    2. Evangelicalism, Libido, & Desire (w/ S*xologist Sarah Ward) [Part 1]

    Unlock the truth about how religious trauma secretly hijacks your desire, libido, and ability to enjoy intimacy. If you've deconstructed your faith but still feel your body resisting the new beliefs, this episode is your essential guide to healing from within. Join Allison Metcalfe, a fellow recovering charismatic and embodied faith coach, in conversation with Sarah Ward, a sexologist and intimacy coach who specializes in somatic healing and religious trauma. Sarah shares how early shame, purity culture, and patriarchal teachings embed themselves deep in your body, causing silent struggles like low libido, performance anxiety, and disconnection. Through candid stories and breakthrough strategies, Sarah reveals how the body holds the key to true liberation and joy. You'll discover: The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, and why understanding your body's signals can rewrite your sex life.How shame from religious upbringing creates safety fears that block intimacy, and practical somatic exercises to rebuild trust.The dangerous link between purity teachings, victim-blaming, and sex-related shame—and how to heal these deep wounds.How cultural scripts around modesty and gendered expectations keep women disconnected from their bodies, and how to break free into embodied pleasure. This episode is vital for women in deconstruction, healing from religious harm, and anyone feeling lost in their own desire. If shame, guilt, or fear of your body’s responses are holding you back, this is your invitation to reclaim your pleasure, trust your intuition, and embody your truth. ____________________ Sarah Ward is a Certified Sexologist and Somatic Intimacy Coach who grew up in the grip of purity culture and high-demand religion and has since reclaimed her pleasure. After decades of being systematically divorced from her own body, Sarah found solace in somatic work, which became the bedrock for her revolutionary reclamation of self and sensuality. She is the author of the weekly Substack Sex and Style and runs a private practice based in Albuquerque, NM, working with clients wherever they are. Website: https://sarahward.co/ Blog: http://sarahwardco.substack.com The Problematic Concept of Modesty: https://sarahwardco.substack.com/p/the-problematic-concept-of-modesty ____________________ Don’t let outdated beliefs wire your body for repression. Tune in to transform shame into curiosity and rediscover the joyful, embodied sexuality you deserve. _______________________ 🧘🏽‍♀️ Learn 5 easy nervous system tools for free ➡️ here 👉 Follow Allison on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, & Youtube. 💌 Email your topic suggestions to allison@allisonrose.co

  11. 11/17/2025

    1. Allison's Story: Religion, Chronic Illness, & the Body as the Key

    In the debut episode of "The Recovering Radical," host Allison Metcalfe shares her personal journey of deconstructing from a hyper-charismatic religious background. Allison opens up about the challenges of internalized guilt, anxiety, and chronic illness, and how she found healing through somatic practices and nervous system work. Join her as she explores the intersection of spirituality and embodiment, offering encouragement and insights for those on similar paths.  Tune in to discover how to embrace your true self and find accessible healing.  #RecoveringRadical #Deconstruction #Healing _______________________ 🧘🏽‍♀️ Learn 5 easy nervous system tools for free ➡️ here 👉 Follow Allison on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, & Youtube. 💌 Email your topic suggestions to allison@allisonrose.co

  • 11 Episodes

About

The Recovering Radical Podcast is for people like you, who left high-control churches… but still feel the guilt, fear, or pressure echoing inside. Hosted by coach and recovering charismatic Allison Rose, this show helps you: unwind internalized rules and shamerebuild deep, steady self-trustreconnect with your intuitionexplore a spirituality rooted in freedom, love, and presenceregulate your nervous system and feel safe in your own bodystep into a life where you get to choose what’s true for you No doctrines. No agendas. No pressure to “believe the right thing.” Just honest conversations, lived experience, and grounded tools to help you come home to yourself again. If you’ve ever thought: “I left the church, but the church didn’t leave me,” this is your space — your exhale — your next chapter. New episodes regularly.

Information

  • Creator
    Allison Rose
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    11
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Allison Rose

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