The D. Tales with Allison Kahler

Allison Kahler
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The D. Tales with Allison Kahler blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight—helping you find clarity, feel connected, and courageously move forward on your own terms. For many people, divorce doesn’t start—or end—with a single decision. It unfolds through questions, doubts, and moments of reckoning: Should I stay or leave? Am I doing this “right”? What’s normal? What if I regret this? Whether you’re quietly wondering, deep in the thick of it, or trying to make sense of what just happened, The D. Tales creates space for the questions most people carry alone. Each episode features candid, deeply human stories from people who have faced these same decisions, alongside thoughtful conversations with experts who understand the emotional, legal, and financial realities of divorce. You won’t hear a single “right” answer here. Instead, you’ll hear diverse perspectives—so you can better understand your own. Divorce touches more than 40% of marriages, yet so many people experience it in silence, carrying unnecessary shame and isolation. The D. Tales brings these conversations out of the shadows—normalizing the uncertainty, the back-and-forth, the fear of getting it wrong, and the quiet hope that something better might be possible. Hosted by Allison Kahler—who once stood in that uncertain space herself and created the resource she wished existed—this podcast offers credible insight and real human connection. Not to rush you into a choice, and not to keep you stuck—but to help you make the right decisions for your marriage, navigate what comes next with clarity, and step into a future that may look very different than you imagined—and better than you thought possible. The D. Tales with Allison Kahler is produced by AK Venture Studio LLC.

  1. 6d ago

    Ep. 39: Reimagining Retirement After Gray Divorce

    Today's conversation with Andrew Hatherley takes us on his journey from seven years of separation and a plan to retire at 60 to launching "The Gray Divorce Podcast" at 59 instead. He shares what those seven years cost him, how he rebuilt his life and career — one small decision at a time — and why the question isn't when you can retire, but what you're retiring to. In this episode: Why Andrew’s separation stretched on for years — and how waiting grew both his alimony exposure and the marital estateHow small steps — working out, quitting smoking, joining Toastmasters — pulled him out of a post-divorce slumpThe holy trinity of legal, financial, and emotional support — and why the lawyer shouldn’t necessarily be your first call"Nobody comes out of divorce in better financial shape" — how to rebuild after 50, with less time to do itWhy a retirement plan should start with what makes you happy, not a target number in the bank About Andrew Hatherley: Andrew Hatherley is the founder of Transcend Retirement and Wiser Divorce Solutions, and the host of “The Gray Divorce Podcast.” After his own mid-life divorce, he reoriented a 20-year career in investment management and financial planning toward helping people over 50 avoid the financial and emotional stress so common to the process — earning his Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® designation, training in mediation and collaborative divorce, and serving as financial chair for the Amicable Divorce Network. He has written a 12-part gray divorce series for Kiplinger, contributed three chapters to Divorce Amicably: Your Roadmap to Resolution, and is co-writing Gray Divorce: Your Roadmap to Resolution, out in April 2027. He is also a longtime student of humanistic and positive psychology, and a believer in the role creativity can play in personal growth after trauma. Learn more at transcendretirement.net and wiserdivorcesolutions.com Listen to “The Gray Divorce Podcast” wherever you get your podcasts. Follow Andrew on Instagram @andrewrhatherley Connect with Andrew on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/andrewhatherley About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler": The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms. Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcast Learn more at https://thedtalespodcast.com This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

  2. Oct 20

    Ep. 38: The High-Achieving Woman's Divorce — Anger, Burnout, and the Way Through

    She out-earned, over-functioned, and held everyone together — and somewhere in there, the anger arrived with nowhere to go. Today's conversation with Certified Family Law Specialist Katie Padilla covers what that anger is actually telling you, how to wield it responsibly, and how collaborative divorce can keep it from boiling over into litigation. In this episode: How today’s high-achieving woman can be carrying both the income and the emotional labor for her family — and the burnout and isolation she feelsWhy women initiate the majority of divorces — and why their husbands often feel blindsided"Anger doesn't have a place in society for the polished woman" — how to read anger as a signal that a boundary’s been crossed and what to do with itHow collaborative divorce actually works — and how it differs from mediation and litigation"A life that you create on your terms and nobody else's" — the exercise Katie uses to help clients envision an exciting future on the other side of divorce About Katie Padilla: Katie Padilla is a Certified Family Law Specialist, founder of Bloom Family Law, and a collaboratively trained attorney, certified coach, and meditation teacher who has spent her career reimagining what it means to support families through divorce — not just legally, but as whole human beings. She believes that the path through dissolution can be a profound initiation into self-knowledge, and she has built Bloom around that conviction, offering clients legal expertise, emotional grounding, and a team of coaches and practitioners who meet them at every dimension of the experience. Learn more at https://www.bloomlegalcoach.com/ Follow on Instagram @bloomfamilylaw Connect with Katie on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/katie-padilla-bloom Episode-Specific Notes: Katie practices in California. Property division rules, waiting periods, and the availability of collaborative divorce vary by state. About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler": The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms. Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcast Learn more at https://thedtalespodcast.com This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

  3. Oct 13

    Ep. 37: Do You Really Need a Divorce Lawyer — Or Can You DIY It?

    Today's conversation with family law attorney and Hello Divorce CEO Erin Levine unpacks the three things that make divorce so hard — cost, conflict, and confusion — and why handling parts of it yourself may protect you more than lawyering up. In this episode: The 3 problems Erin built Hello Divorce to solve — cost, conflict, and confusion — and why the legal forms themselves set up a fight before anyone's done anything wrongWhy the win-at-all-costs mentality fails the people it's meant to serve — $10,000 in legal fees to litigate an extra $100 a month, and an amicable relationship ruined to get itWhy fear is the dominant emotion in divorce — and the question Erin asks instead: what do I need, what would I like, and what can I let go?Why roughly 3/4 of divorce cases involve at least one spouse without a lawyer — and how the 3 universal steps (petition, financials, agreement) let you hire a lawyer in pieces instead of handing over the whole thing on retainerWhere AI falls short on divorce — those conversations aren't privileged, and a general-purpose tool can't keep up with rules that vary county by county and often change without being published"We're optimizing for the future, not this moment" — why the urge to grab control and speed things up is usually the thing that costs you control About Erin Levine: Erin Levine is a family law attorney turned legal tech founder. She spent 20+ years as an attorney, law firm owner, mediator, and private judge before founding Hello Divorce, the top-rated online platform that blends legal technology, financial guidance, and emotional support so people can divorce with clarity, confidence, and control. Erin's work has been featured in Fast Company, Forbes, Bloomberg, TechCrunch, The Washington Post, and How I Built This. She is an ABA Legal Rebel, a Fast Company Most Innovative Company honoree (#6, Social Impact), a Super Lawyer (2014 to 2026), and sits on the founding board of the Justice Technology Association. Connect with Erin on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinlevine/ About Hello Divorce: Hello Divorce is the only female lawyer-founded, fully automated divorce platform in its category. Through guided technology and on-demand experts (attorneys, mediators, financial advisors, divorce coaches, and real estate specialists), Hello Divorce serves the missing middle: families who don't qualify for legal aid but can't afford full-service attorneys. The company covers 250,000+ employee lives through direct-to-consumer and employer benefits channels. Learn more: https://hellodivorce.com/ Book a free 15-minute planning call: https://hellodivorce.com/schedule-call?hsCtaAttrib=205582133787 Follow Hello Divorce on Instagram and TikTok: @HelloDivorce Episode-Specific Notes: Erin Levine is a licensed attorney, but nothing in this episode is legal advice or creates an attorney-client relationship. Divorce rules vary significantly by state and county — confirm anything you plan to act on with a professional licensed in your jurisdiction. One caution worth repeating from the episode: conversations with ChatGPT and other general AI tools are not privileged. Unlike what you tell your attorney, they can potentially be discovered or subpoenaed in your case. Be thoughtful about what you share. About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler": The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms. Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcast Learn more at https://thedtalespodcast.com This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

  4. Oct 6

    Ep. 36: Let's Talk About Sex, Baby — Sexless Marriages and Mismatched Libido

    Most of us have never said out loud what we actually want in bed — not to a partner, not to a friend, not to ourselves. Relationship coach Anna Howerton returns to the show to talk about a topic that often remains unspoken — sex. We’re talking sexless marriages, mismatched libido, sex as grounds for divorce — and what changes when you get to pick again. In this episode: Why sex is the thing that makes a romantic relationship different from every other oneThe question most of us never asked before getting married: what kind of sex do I actually like?Mismatched libido, and how a marriage quietly gets to a year, 5 years, 10 years without sexWhat it feels like to be the one always initiating — and why that makes so many women (not just men) feel brokenTalking about sex like you'd talk about money: early, often, and not in the momentAnna's most controversial take — that sex can be a legitimate reason to leave a marriage About Anna Howerton: Anna is a relationship coach who splits her time between Raleigh, NC and Southern California. After navigating her own divorce and remarriage, Anna now works with individuals and couples who are seeking more authentic and aligned relationships — whether that means finding love, deepening connection, or thoughtfully ending a relationship that no longer fits. She's also a mother of two and wife to her second husband, Mark. This is Anna's second appearance on the show — she was my very first guest back on Ep. 02, thrilled to have her back on the show. Follow her on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook: @annahowerton_ Schedule a free strategy call: https://www.annahowerton.com/ Episode-Specific Notes: Listen / Watch Anna's first appearance on The D. Tales: Ep. 02: From Unseen to Deeply Chosen — Finding Love Again on Apple | Spotify | YouTube About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler": The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms. Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcast Learn more at https://thedtalespodcast.com This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

  5. Sep 29

    Ep. 35: "Trust Your Gut" Is Useless If You Can't Hear It (Solo)

    If someone has ever asked what your gut is telling you and you had absolutely no idea how to answer — this one's for you. In this solo episode, I share the coaching tool that helped me understand why that inner voice gets so hard to hear, and the voices that were running the show during my divorce. In this episode: Why the advice to just "trust your gut" can fall flat during divorce — the inner voice is always there, it's just that other voices can be so much louderMeeting the Stickler, the Controller, and the Avoider — three of my saboteurs that showed up recently, and what "productive procrastination" actually looks likeThe Pleaser, the Victim, and the Hyper-vigilant — the cast of characters present during my divorce process, and how I can admit in hindsight that I played the martyr card in couples therapyWhy these voices aren't the enemy — they're protection built from strengths we mis-use or overuse, which is exactly what makes them so hard to put down3 steps I use with coaching clients and on myself — name the voices, actually listen to what they're saying, then invite them to take a back seat"I just thought I was totally f***ed up" — what I know now that I didn't have language for then, and why naming these voices is the step that comes before trusting your gut Episode-Specific Notes: Resources mentioned: Take the Saboteur Assessment from Positive Intelligence: https://positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs/Read “The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership” by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley KlempEp. 10: Dear Diary — I Knew. I Just Didn't Trust That I Knew. on Apple | Spotify | YouTubeEp. 23: This Is Your Brain on Divorce — What Psychedelics Actually Do (with Dr. Nick Bruss) on Apple | Spotify | YouTube About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler": The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms. Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcast Learn more at https://thedtalespodcast.com This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

  6. Sep 22

    Ep. 34: Can Mediation Work If Your Divorce Isn't Amicable?

    Today's conversation with attorney and certified divorce mediator David Fein makes the case that mediation isn't reserved for couples who still get along — it's for anyone who'd rather shape their own agreement than let a judge take the simplest way out. And what you decide in mediation isn't permanent: it's a living document you can renegotiate as your family changes. In this episode: Why you don't have to like your ex — or even agree with them — for mediation to workWhy a mediator isn't a judge — he/she can't rule or force an outcome, and why that changes what's possible in the roomHow aligning on a goal more specific than "I want the kids to be okay" sets a custody mediation up for successWhat happens to the house — why mediation can get creative in a high interest rate environment, and why litigation tends to end in "sell it and split the proceeds"The parenting schedule his own kids asked him to change — and why he now tells clients their divorce agreement is "a living document" About David Fein: David Fein is an attorney, certified divorce mediator, and the founder of Fein Legal Solutions, LLC, where he specializes in child-centric family mediation for clients across Illinois. His path to family law wasn't a traditional one — he spent more than 30 years in corporate leadership, energy policy, and high-stakes regulatory advocacy before moving into mediation, and he brings that same structured approach to negotiation to families trying to avoid the adversarial court system. He holds a Juris Doctorate from DePaul University College of Law, a B.A. from the University of Wisconsin–Madison, and a Certificate in Divorce Mediation from Northwestern University. Having been through his own divorce and built a co-parenting relationship with the mother of his three kids, he helps families restructure their futures with dignity, clarity, and peace of mind. Learn more about Fein Legal Solutions: www.feinlegalsolutions.com Book a call with David: https://calendly.com/fein-legal/schedule-1-1-with-david Call David directly: (312) 446-2882 — he answers his own phone! Follow David on Instagram: @feindavid312 Connect with Fein Legal Solutions on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/fein-legal-solutions-llc-dba-the-law-office-of-david-fein/ Episode-Specific Notes: Mediation rules and divorce laws vary by state. This conversation references Illinois, where David practices, along with California as a point of contrast — including how a mediated agreement gets formalized and who is permitted to draft it. If you're considering mediation, confirm the requirements that apply where you live. About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler": The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms. Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcast Learn more at https://thedtalespodcast.com This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

  7. Sep 15

    Ep. 33: Surviving a High-Conflict Divorce — and Thriving

    This is a story about navigating a high-conflict divorce — and rebuilding your life at the same time. Claire Adamou left her home and moved into her sister's converted garage with her two young children. The night she hit rock bottom became the turning point where she took her power back. Claire shares how she stopped handing that power to her ex, why she started dating before her divorce was final, and what it really looks like to blend two families after divorce. In this episode: How her rock bottom also became the turning point — from crying on the garage floor in front of her children to realizing no one would ever make her feel like that againWhy she started dating before the divorce was final — and what she said to the people, including her own father, who questioned “what kind of a man dates a married woman?”"The car of truth" — the school-run ritual where her kids can say anything, and mum is never allowed to get angryBlending two families, four kids, and four different parenting styles — and why being rock solid as a couple has to come firstWhy you don't have to wait until the divorce is over to start rebuilding — and what she'd tell you to do tomorrow About Claire Adamou: Claire Adamou is a transformational coach, speaker, and leadership facilitator who helps women navigate life's biggest transitions with confidence, resilience, and purpose. When her own marriage ended, her identity shattered — and she had to rebuild all of it from the ground up: her confidence, her sense of self, her vision for the future. She wrote "Life After Divorce: From Surviving to Thriving" as the guide she wishes she'd had in those early days, so no woman has to walk it alone. She lives in the UK with her husband and the blended family they built together — her two children and his two. Learn more at claireadamou.com Follow Claire on Instagram: @claireadamou Find her book: Life After Divorce: From Surviving to Thriving About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler": The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms. Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcast Learn more at https://thedtalespodcast.com This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

  8. Sep 8

    Ep. 32: Reinventing the Life You Were Supposed to Want

    Elise Madrick had the high school sweetheart, the Chicago suburb, the literal white picket fence — and had spent 14 years quietly abandoning herself to keep it. Today's conversation with the reinvention coach traces what it actually takes to leave the life you were supposed to want and to rebuild as someone new. In this episode: How one ordinary moment can make it clear a marriage is over — not because of one big thing, but the cumulation of “small nicks that become a gaping wound”“What part did you play in this?” — the question a coach asked mid-divorce that challenged Elise to put down the victim card and take 100% responsibilityDeciding whether to make amends — Elise’s advice to consider whether it would benefit you, the other person, or the relationship, and whether that relationship is worth itThe collateral damage of ending a marriage — why some friendships can’t come with you, and why learning to say “no” can be both challenging and necessary to move forwardThe “mushy middle” — why the hardest part of reinvention is the liminal space between where the old self is gone and the new one isn’t built yet About Elise Madrick: Elise Madrick is the founder and CEO of Cerené, where she works with people in the disorienting space between one chapter and the next — divorce, career change, retirement — to reinvent who they are and what they believe is possible. She began her career in clinical social work, and her background now spans behavioral science and ontological coaching alongside years leading and lecturing in executive education at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management, where she built some of the institution’s highest-rated programs. Her work operates at the level of identity: the stories people carry about who they are, what they deserve, and what they believe is actually available to them. Through 1:1 coaching and immersive Cerené Experiences — with upcoming cohorts in Chicago and Portugal — she guides people ready to step beyond what they already know. Learn more about Cerené: https://www.cerene.life/ Follow Cerené on Instagram: @cerene.life Follow Elise on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elisemadrick/ About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler": The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms. Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcast Learn more at https://thedtalespodcast.com This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

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The D. Tales with Allison Kahler blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight—helping you find clarity, feel connected, and courageously move forward on your own terms. For many people, divorce doesn’t start—or end—with a single decision. It unfolds through questions, doubts, and moments of reckoning: Should I stay or leave? Am I doing this “right”? What’s normal? What if I regret this? Whether you’re quietly wondering, deep in the thick of it, or trying to make sense of what just happened, The D. Tales creates space for the questions most people carry alone. Each episode features candid, deeply human stories from people who have faced these same decisions, alongside thoughtful conversations with experts who understand the emotional, legal, and financial realities of divorce. You won’t hear a single “right” answer here. Instead, you’ll hear diverse perspectives—so you can better understand your own. Divorce touches more than 40% of marriages, yet so many people experience it in silence, carrying unnecessary shame and isolation. The D. Tales brings these conversations out of the shadows—normalizing the uncertainty, the back-and-forth, the fear of getting it wrong, and the quiet hope that something better might be possible. Hosted by Allison Kahler—who once stood in that uncertain space herself and created the resource she wished existed—this podcast offers credible insight and real human connection. Not to rush you into a choice, and not to keep you stuck—but to help you make the right decisions for your marriage, navigate what comes next with clarity, and step into a future that may look very different than you imagined—and better than you thought possible. The D. Tales with Allison Kahler is produced by AK Venture Studio LLC.

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