Permission To Desire: Relationships, Sex, Love, and Liberation

Brian G. Murphy
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

What if wanting more wasn’t selfish, but sacred?Permission to Want is a podcast for the curious, the courageous, the quirky, and consciously nontraditional. Hosted by author and certified relationship coach Brian G. Murphy, this show explores what it means to build fuller, more alive relationships and erotic lives and paints a picture of what’s possible when you find the courage to tell the truth about what you really want and say goodbye to shame or “shoulds.”Grounded in the wisdom of polyamory and other forms of ethical nonmonogamy, you’ll hear real-life stories and actionable insights that can enrich every relationship type: monogamous, open, polyamorous, single, or solo. Whether you're hoping to rekindle passion in a long-term relationship, healing from sexual shame, considering opening up, or just craving more intention in how you live and love, this is your permission slip.

  1. 2d ago

    "I want to fix our relationship, my other half doesn't think anything needs to change"

    You cannot make your partner change. You can’t make him want to have sex more often. Or make him be more comfortable with non-monogamy. Or talk about his feelings more openly. That’s a good thing, actually. It means you don’t have to wait for things to change because you do have control over yourself and how you show up in the relationship.  In this casual conversation of an episode, I share with you what you CAN control and what you can do to make intimacy, honesty, vulnerability, and growth inevitable in your relationship.  If you feel trapped because you want to fix your relationship but your partner doesn’t even think anything needs fixing… this is the episode for you. Enrollment for Relationshift is now open: For people navigating open (or open-ish) relationships who want to talk about sex and outside connections more comfortably, expand their sex lives, reduce tension and confusion, and create shared agreements that actually work in real life. In Relationshift, you’ll go from feeling uncertain, scared, and frustrated to clear, comfortable, and connected.  Kicks off June 15, space is limited, learn more & enroll now: https://thisisbgm.com/group/ Registration closes June 10. Want to talk before joining to make sure the program will be right for you? Grab a time on my calendar here. Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

    21 min

  2. 5d ago

    Not having as much sex as you want?

    Are you in a long-term relationship and finding yourself longing for more intimacy? You're not alone! In this episode, I dive into the common struggles many couples face when it comes to their sex lives. I share experiences from working with couples in my relationship coaching practice, shedding light on the challenges they've encountered and how to navigate through them. Whether you're the partner craving more connection or feeling uncertain about your desires, I've got practical advice for both of you. This episode is for you if you've ever said or thought: "I want sex more often than my partner does" "My partner wants to have sex more than I do and I feel bad / weird / anxious / annoyed about it" "We aren't having sex like we used to" "I thought 'lesbian bed death' didn't happen to gay men?!" "All the other gay couples I know are having way more sex than we are" (spoiler alert: they aren't!) "Our sex life is great... but I'd still like more or something different" Enrollment for Relationshift is now open: For people navigating open (or open-ish) relationships who want to talk about sex and outside connections more comfortably, expand their sex lives, reduce tension and confusion, and create shared agreements that actually work in real life. In Relationshift, you’ll go from feeling uncertain, scared, and frustrated to clear, comfortable, and connected.  Kicks off June 15, space is limited, learn more & enroll now: https://thisisbgm.com/group/ Registration closes June 10. Want to talk before joining to make sure the program will be right for you? Grab a time on my calendar here. Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

    38 min

  3. May 29

    Fix your open relationship in 9 weeks

    Tired of feeling frustrated with your partner? Craving more sex? An easier time being open? The ability to freely kiss friends and strangers on the dance floor? If you've been "working on it" for awhile now, that doesn't mean you're stuck, it might mean you haven't tried the RIGHT things... which is a good thing, actually. It means the changes you want to see are yours for the taking, if you know what to talk about, what to try out, what to avoid, and where to put your energy to build a fuller, more exciting, more honest, more alive relationship and exotic. The challenges you're facing in your open / open-ish / monogam-ish / kinda-sorta-open relationship... they are figure-out-able. In this episode, I'm going to walk you through how. And then invite you to join me in Relationshift so you can get the support, simple actionable practices, and accountability to get you there faster and with less friction. Let's go! Enrollment for Relationshift is now open: For people navigating open (or open-ish) relationships who want to talk about sex and outside connections more comfortably, expand their sex lives, reduce tension and confusion, and create shared agreements that actually work in real life. In Relationshift, you’ll go from feeling uncertain, scared, and frustrated to clear, comfortable, and connected.  Kicks off June 15, space is limited, learn more & enroll now: https://thisisbgm.com/group/ Registration closes June 10. Want to talk before joining to make sure the program will be right for you? Grab a time on my calendar here. Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

    38 min

  4. May 27

    Is your open relationship ready for summer fun?

    Maybe you're looking forward to a hook-up-filled gay getaway or hoping a vacation will finally reignite a stalled sex life. If you're feeling feral and ready to mingle this summer, let's make sure the thing you're most looking forward to this summer doesn't turn into the thing that frustrates and disappoints you. To get your open relationship summer ready, in this episode I’m going to share a new framework with you today and it’s called… SUMMER. It's six steps to make sure you make the most of your open relationship this summer AND that you're able to do it with comfort, confidence, and ease. No more waiting and hoping... let's make the fantasy a reality. If you listened to this episode and you recognized yourself somewhere in it, you are not alone. This is exactly the work I do all day every day and exactly what we’ll tackle together inside Relationshift. To make sure you're able to start your summer with a bang, if you sign-up by end of May—by May 31—I will make sure that you have your first private coaching call before your first summer trip or Pride weekend, even if that means having it before the group officially starts. Go to thisisbgm.com/group to grab your spot. Enrollment for Relationshift is now open: For people navigating open (or open-ish) relationships who want to talk about sex and outside connections more comfortably, expand their sex lives, reduce tension and confusion, and create shared agreements that actually work in real life. In Relationshift, you’ll go from feeling uncertain, scared, and frustrated to clear, comfortable, and connected.  Kicks off June 15, space is limited, learn more & enroll now: https://thisisbgm.com/group/ Registration closes June 10. Want to talk before joining to make sure the program will be right for you? Grab a time on my calendar here. Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

    38 min

  5. May 21

    How to ask for an open relationship

    If you think you might want an open relationship—or to change how you structure your open relationship—you’re probably trying to figure out exactly when and how to talk to your partner about that.  I get it. That was me 16 years ago. And I was terrified. But if I hadn’t gathered the courage to have that first conversation, none of the past 16 years would be possible.  In this episode, I’m going to teach you how. You’ll learn the 4 Ws and an H of asking to opening up: Why, When, Where, How, and What. Yes, it’s a different order than the usual “5 Ws and an H” — you’ll see why in the episode ;) If you’re considering opening up or navigating an open (or open-ish) relationship and you want to talk about sex and outside connections more comfortably, expand your sex life, reduce tension and confusion, and create shared agreements that actually work in real life, then I want to invite you to enroll in Relationshift—we start June 15.  This 9-week program is designed to fast track your desires—getting you talking easier, fighting less, f*****g more, and overall having a fuller, more alive, more honest relationship and erotic life. You’ll have support every step of the way so that “someday” can become “today.”  Registration is now open and spots are limited. Grab yours at thisisbgm.com/group Enrollment for Relationshift is now open: For people navigating open (or open-ish) relationships who want to talk about sex and outside connections more comfortably, expand their sex lives, reduce tension and confusion, and create shared agreements that actually work in real life. In Relationshift, you’ll go from feeling uncertain, scared, and frustrated to clear, comfortable, and connected.  Kicks off June 15, space is limited, learn more & enroll now: https://thisisbgm.com/group/ Registration closes June 10. Want to talk before joining to make sure the program will be right for you? Grab a time on my calendar here. Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

    23 min

  6. May 14

    Opening up a relationship after 8 years with Keller

    When John first brought up opening their relationship, Keller's response was fear. He didn't feel like enough. He didn't have a framework. And after 8 years together, the whole idea felt like it could unravel everything they'd built. Four years later, he and John are married and navigating non-monogamy with more confidence and intention than Keller ever thought possible. In this conversation, you'll hear how he moved from insecurity to clarity, what tools he's still using today, and how he went from cautiously open to fully embracing polyamory. Enrollment for Relationshift is now open: For people navigating open (or open-ish) relationships who want to talk about sex and outside connections more comfortably, expand their sex lives, reduce tension and confusion, and create shared agreements that actually work in real life. In Relationshift, you’ll go from feeling uncertain, scared, and frustrated to clear, comfortable, and connected.  Kicks off June 15, space is limited, learn more & enroll now: https://thisisbgm.com/group/ Registration closes June 10. Want to talk before joining to make sure the program will be right for you? Grab a time on my calendar here. Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

    43 min

  7. May 12

    Sexting, Snapchat, and Sending Nudes

    Y'all are thirsty—and I say that with full love and zero judgment. I've gotten a lot of questions lately about whether it's OK to send sexy pics when you're getting to know someone, and honestly, my default answer is always "you do you, boo." But there's more to it than that, so in this episode I'm diving into the when, why, and how of Snapchat, sexting, and sending nudes—whether you're single, dating, or already coupled up. In this episode: Why "who would buy the cow when the milk is free" is absolute BS—and what your sexuality actually is (and isn't)Questions to ask yourself before hitting sendHow to lead with the energy you're actually looking for (whether that's hot sex, a real connection, or both)A word of caution if you're in a relationshipHow to bring that off-the-charts erotic charge back with a long-term partner Resources mentioned: Commitment Clarity Checklist (free download): thisisbgm.com/clarityRelationshift group coaching program, starting June 15: thisisbgm.com/group Enrollment for Relationshift is now open: For people navigating open (or open-ish) relationships who want to talk about sex and outside connections more comfortably, expand their sex lives, reduce tension and confusion, and create shared agreements that actually work in real life. In Relationshift, you’ll go from feeling uncertain, scared, and frustrated to clear, comfortable, and connected.  Kicks off June 15, space is limited, learn more & enroll now: https://thisisbgm.com/group/ Registration closes June 10. Want to talk before joining to make sure the program will be right for you? Grab a time on my calendar here. Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

    17 min

  8. May 7

    How to fight better in a relationship

    Is fighting a sign of a failing relationship? Not necessarily! Conflict is a natural and normal part of every relationship, what matters is how you approach conflict and how you feel during it. If you find yourself battling with your partner--you know the feeling: butting heads, making arguments, poking holes, getting defensive, or if you find yourself making "compromises" that feel more like surrendering, then this episode is for you. In this episode, you'll how to spot if conflict is turning into an unproductive and unhealthy fight and then Brian will walk you through a powerful way to reframe your fighting. You are going to want different things than your partner, or have different opinions, or otherwise bump into each other, but after listening to this episode, you'll be able to do that in a way that brings you closer together rather than pushes your further apart. Enrollment for Relationshift is now open: For people navigating open (or open-ish) relationships who want to talk about sex and outside connections more comfortably, expand their sex lives, reduce tension and confusion, and create shared agreements that actually work in real life. In Relationshift, you’ll go from feeling uncertain, scared, and frustrated to clear, comfortable, and connected.  Kicks off June 15, space is limited, learn more & enroll now: https://thisisbgm.com/group/ Registration closes June 10. Want to talk before joining to make sure the program will be right for you? Grab a time on my calendar here. Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

    18 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

What if wanting more wasn’t selfish, but sacred?Permission to Want is a podcast for the curious, the courageous, the quirky, and consciously nontraditional. Hosted by author and certified relationship coach Brian G. Murphy, this show explores what it means to build fuller, more alive relationships and erotic lives and paints a picture of what’s possible when you find the courage to tell the truth about what you really want and say goodbye to shame or “shoulds.”Grounded in the wisdom of polyamory and other forms of ethical nonmonogamy, you’ll hear real-life stories and actionable insights that can enrich every relationship type: monogamous, open, polyamorous, single, or solo. Whether you're hoping to rekindle passion in a long-term relationship, healing from sexual shame, considering opening up, or just craving more intention in how you live and love, this is your permission slip.

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