Divorce with Carolyn

Carolyn Tate

Divorce with Carolyn is real talk for women about the hard parts of divorce and the beautiful life waiting on the other side. I've been through two divorces, spent years coaching women inside Women's Divorce Academy, and I'm here to be the divorce bestie you didn't know you needed — straight with you, cheering you on, and always bringing you back to what matters.

  1. Is your ex tracking you? Surveillance, stalking and safety when leaving

    6d ago

    Is your ex tracking you? Surveillance, stalking and safety when leaving

    Trigger warning: This episode contains discussion of domestic and family violence, including coercive controlling behaviour. Support is available - links below. Ex-detective Anthony Macklin has seen it all – burner phones hidden behind lounge furniture, spy apps that disappear from your screen but keep recording, tracking devices in children's teddy bears. In this episode, he breaks down how surveillance and stalking happen during separation, the signs to watch for, what Australian law actually says, and the practical steps every woman should take to protect herself before and after leaving. This is a conversation every woman going through separation needs to hear – especially if you think it could never happen to you. Important: If you feel unsafe at any time, call 000 in Australia; 911 in the US, and 999 in the UK. (Call your local emergency number if you're outside of those areas.) It's better to feel foolish than it is to be even slightly at risk. That's what emergency services are for. In this episode How common surveillance becomes during separation – and why it doesn't only happen in obviously controlling relationshipsThe technology being used: spy apps, dash cams, vehicle tracking, burner phones, hidden cameras, and moreThe signs you might be being tracked (including signs that have nothing to do with technology)The "Trojan horse" — what to check when your kids come back from your ex's placeWhat to do if you suspect your phone has been compromisedWhat the law says about surveillance (and what is okay and not okay if you're keeping tabs of your ex)How to build a credible evidence recordWhat to set up before you leave: safe devices, safe accounts, safe network Resources and support1800RESPECT (national, 24/7): 1800 737 732; https://1800respect.org.au/Emergency: 000Anthony Macklin / Rampart Consulting: https://rampart.com.au/Services Australia (family payments, child care subsidy): servicesaustralia.gov.auSend Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    38 min
  2. Alone Doesn't Have To Mean Lonely with Dr Marny Lishman

    May 25

    Alone Doesn't Have To Mean Lonely with Dr Marny Lishman

    Psychologist Dr Marny Lishman on why being alone is an unexpected gift – and why the messy middle of healing does the real work. Alone and lonely get treated as though they mean the same thing. They don't. In this episode, I sit down with psychologist Dr Marny Lishman to talk about her new book, Only You: The Unexpected Gift of Being Alone. We unpack why so many of us rush from one relationship straight into the next, what the messy middle of healing really asks of us, and how time alone reconnects you with the person you were before you started contorting yourself to fit someone else's life. It's a warm, honest conversation about grief, growth, fixing your own toilet seat, and learning that a partner should be a bonus in a full life – never a gap to fill. Key takeawaysAlone and lonely are not the same thing. You can feel deeply lonely inside a relationship, and content on your own.Grief often starts well before a relationship formally ends, which makes the ending slow and complicated.There's no set timeline for healing, but rushing into the next relationship tends to bury feelings that resurface later.The messy middle – unravelling who you were – is the part most people skip, and it's the part that does the real work.A good therapist holds space, challenges you, and hands you tools your friends can't.Once the stress settles, your brain starts telling you what you actually need – which might be your career, a hobby or an unlived life, not dating.Doing hard, practical things, from fixing the toilet seat to a trip to Bunnings, builds real capability and self-trust.Travelling alone, journaling and reading other people's real stories help you hear your own voice again.A partner should add to a full life, not fill a gap in an empty one. Complete yourself first.You're not alone in being alone. Plenty of people have come out the other side better off.LinksOnly You: The Unexpected Gift of Being Alone – https://www.marnylishman.com.au/booksDr Marny Lishman – https://www.marnylishman.com.au/Send Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    45 min
  3. May 18

    "I thank my younger self every day for having the guts to leave" - Carrie's story, 10 years on

    Ten years ago, Carrie left a 16-year marriage. She had three young daughters, no certainty about what came next, and a question she couldn't shake: Am I allowed to do this? Ten years on, her daughters have told her they're glad she left. And she describes her post-divorce life as her best years. In this conversation, Carrie shares the moment she knew, the financial mistakes she wishes she'd avoided, the co-parenting reframe that changed everything, and what life after divorce actually looks like when you come out the other side. Key takeaways: The exhale moment is information. If life feels measurably easier when your partner isn't there, that feeling is worth paying attention to.Superannuation must be requested – it will not be offered automatically. If you took time out of the workforce to raise children, you are likely entitled to a share of your partner's super.One hour with a family law specialist before you agree to anything can change everything. Carrie paid around $200 and walked away knowing her position.Stop trying to be friends with someone who isn't capable of it. The reframe that works: polite business partner. Civil, boundaried, strictly about the kids.Your children are watching – and they notice when the tension lifts.Links mentioned: Before You Agree to Anything toolkit —https://stellarcontent.thrivecart.com/know-before-you-sign/Send Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    46 min
  4. Your divorce doesn't have to become trauma — Rage, healing, and what sets you free

    May 11

    Your divorce doesn't have to become trauma — Rage, healing, and what sets you free

    Your divorce doesn't have to become trauma. That's not a platitude – it's something somatic therapist Natalia Rachel can explain precisely, and it changes everything about how you approach recovery. Natalia draws a clear line between distress – what's happening to you right now – and trauma, which is what happens when a past experience of threat keeps living in you long after it's over. The difference comes down to one thing: whether you had safe, supportive people around you while you were going through it. In this episode, we cover: Why rage is not your enemy – and how expressing it safely transforms it into powerWhat somatic therapy actually is, and how to start gently without it feeling overwhelmingWhy your nervous system is wiser than you think about the timing of your own healingHow to date again after divorce without falling into the traps that keep women stuckNatalia speaks from both clinical expertise and lived experience – she went through her own divorce nearly nine years ago while living as an expat in Singapore with a company to run and two young children. She knows this territory from the inside. LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE About Natalia Rachel Website: nataliarachel.comInstagram: @natalia_rachel_changeBook — Why Am I Like This?: penguin.com.auThe Felt Sense — free somatic meditations on Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/12eafp2M1ldBk4qsSeKBaGResources mentioned Gottman Institute Feelings Wheel: gottman.comAPS Find a Psychologist: psychology.org.au If you need supportBeyond Blue: beyondblue.org.au — 1300 22 4636Relationships Australia: relationships.org.au — 1300 364 277Send Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    41 min
  5. How to build your divorce support network

    May 4

    How to build your divorce support network

    Building a support network during divorce isn't optional – it's infrastructure. In this conversation, Carolyn talks with her close friend Gillian about the real art of asking for help: why it feels so hard, how to do it practically, and who belongs in your support team – both personally and professionally. Gillian shares her own experience navigating an unexpected separation, building a network of friends, neighbours, and professionals, and why getting a lawyer and a psychologist on board early made all the difference. Honest, warm, and grounded in lived experience. Key takeaways: Asking for help feels harder than receiving it – but the people around you want to help. Give them something specific to do.Your executive functioning is genuinely impaired during the early stages of separation. A support network isn't self-indulgent; it's necessary.Start with what's close: neighbours, school parents, and anyone with proximity to your daily life can help with practical logistics.Your professional team matters too – a lawyer, a psychologist, and your GP each play a distinct role, and getting them in place early is worth it.Not all support is equal – some people will fuss unhelpfully, others will bring judgment. Know who your trusted people are, and redirect the rest.Even a small network can grow quickly in acute emotional times. Friendships formed during this period are often among the most enduring.Building your support network isn't a luxury. It's the infrastructure that carries you through.Helpful links: Mental Health Treatment Plans (Australia): https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/mental-health-care-and-medicare Coping with divorce (mental health tips): https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/coping-with-divorce-or-breakup Women's Legal Service (Qld - google for similar services in your area): https://wlsq.org.au/ Send Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    39 min
  6. From betrayal to her best life: How Alyssa turned heartbreak into happiness

    Apr 27

    From betrayal to her best life: How Alyssa turned heartbreak into happiness

    Alyssa thought she'd married the love of her life. What she didn't know was that her husband had been deceiving her in almost every way imaginable - an affair, gambling debts, drug use, and lies that unravelled her entire sense of reality. When he told Alyssa he wanted a divorce, she was completely blindsided. What followed was one of the hardest seasons of her life. Severe anxiety and depression. Months of barely functioning. And the slow, painful work of rebuilding herself from the ground up. In this episode, Alyssa shares the real story of how she got through it - the therapy, the medication, the army of support, the comfort TV, and the one decision that changed everything. She talks about solo travel as a path to rediscovering herself, what she learned about trust and red flags when she started dating again, and how she went on to double her salary, remarry a genuinely kind man, and build a life she never could have imagined. This is the episode to share with a friend who has just been blindsided. It's honest, it's warm, and it's living proof that the other side exists - and it's even better than you might have hoped.  Links Mentioned - G Adventures (group travel for solo travellers): gadventures.com - Wi-Fi Tribe (remote work travel community): wifitribe.co If You Need Mental Health Support Through A Tough Time Don't Hesitate To Contact: - Beyond Blue - Anxiety and Depression Support (Australia): beyondblue.org.au - Lifeline Australia (24/7 crisis support): lifeline.org.au Send Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    47 min
  7. What Divorce Really Does To Kids: A Candid Conversation With My Son, Connor

    Apr 20

    What Divorce Really Does To Kids: A Candid Conversation With My Son, Connor

    In this special episode, Carolyn is joined by her 21-year-old son Connor for an honest, warm, and sometimes confronting conversation about what it's really like to grow up through parental separation. Connor experienced two of Carolyn's separations – at age two and age twelve – and shares what helped, what didn't, and what he wishes had been done differently. An important listen for any parent worried about what divorce is doing to their children. Key Takeaways Divorce is not inherently damaging – but children are far more perceptive than parents often realise. They can feel tension and unhappiness even without words for it.What children absorb from the relationship they witness matters. The dynamics they grow up around quietly shape their own relationship patterns.Consistency and communication – within your own home, and with your children – are the two most important factors in helping children through separation.Parallel parenting is a valid and supported option when co-parenting communication is difficult. Keeping an open channel with your children is what matters most.Listening to your children – even when it's uncomfortable – is more important than keeping up appearances of neutrality. They need to feel they aren't alone in their feelings. Links and Resources Mentioned Women's Divorce Academy membership: https://www.womensdivorceacademy.com/our-programKids Helpline: kidshelp.com.auRaising Children Network: raisingchildren.net.auAustralian Psychological Society — Find a Psychologist: psychology.org.au/find-a-psychologistRelationships Australia: relationships.org.auSend Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    30 min
  8. Follow the money: What a forensic accountant wants every divorcing woman to know

    Apr 13

    Follow the money: What a forensic accountant wants every divorcing woman to know

    Ever stared at a pile of financial documents and felt completely out of your depth? Me too – but Julie Garis is here to help. Julie is a forensic accountant who specialises in helping women navigate the financial side of separation and property settlement. Julie has been through divorce herself – and she brings both professional expertise and lived experience to everything she does. We cover what she actually does (and how it's different from what your lawyer does), the financial red flags to watch for, what to do if you suspect your ex isn't disclosing everything, and why 'fair' might not be the right thing to aim for – and what question to ask instead. Key takeaways The earlier you get organised, the better. Arriving at your lawyer's office prepared (with a relationship timeline, asset list, and key financial documents) can save you significant legal fees.Business structures, crypto, undisclosed accounts and gambling are among the most common financial issues she encounters - and she shares what to do in those circumstances.'Fair' is rarely how property settlement feels for either party. The better question is: can I live with this outcome?Financial clarity after settlement can be life-changing – many women discover their own competence with money for the first time. Resources mentioned Julies' free First Steps: Financial Settlement Preparation checklist – https://www.simplesplitfinancials.com.au/checklistNaomi Holmes – women's financial literacy – listen to our podcast with Naomi in episode 1Women's Divorce Academy membership – womensdivorceacademy.comSend Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    48 min

About

Divorce with Carolyn is real talk for women about the hard parts of divorce and the beautiful life waiting on the other side. I've been through two divorces, spent years coaching women inside Women's Divorce Academy, and I'm here to be the divorce bestie you didn't know you needed — straight with you, cheering you on, and always bringing you back to what matters.

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