Divorce with Carolyn

Carolyn Tate
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Divorce with Carolyn is real talk for women about the hard parts of divorce and the beautiful life waiting on the other side. I've been through two divorces, spent years coaching women inside Women's Divorce Academy, and I'm here to be the divorce bestie you didn't know you needed — straight with you, cheering you on, and always bringing you back to what matters.

  1. 2d ago

    The lesson Helene's first divorce taught her that made her second one easier

    Episode summary Helene has been through two separations so she's in a rare position: she can look back and see exactly what was different the second time round, and why it made all the difference to how she got through it. In this conversation, she talks about the work she did between the two relationships, the exercise she still uses with her own clients to work through hard emotions, and how she found her way out of a victim mentality and into real agency. It's a conversation full of practical, hard-won insight. Key takeaways Getting professional support early changes the trajectory of a separation.The "hidden benefits" exercise  can dissolve an emotional charge enough to make a decision from a clear head rather than a reactive one.Moving out of victim mentality starts with recognising the beliefs formed early in life that are still running the show.Blended families often work better with house rules for everyone, and separate rules under each parent, rather than forcing one set of rules on both.Keeping the family home at all costs isn't always the financially sound choice – sometimes investments, superannuation or cash reserves serve a woman better long-term.A fully felt emotion only lasts around ninety seconds – learning to sit with it rather than numb it can loosen its grip over time.Reaching out to family and friends, even when shame says not to, is more likely to bring support than judgement. Links mentioned in this episode Women's Divorce Academy membership – https://www.womensdivorceacademy.com/our-programThinkbowl Marketing – https://www.thinkbowl.com.au/Her Money Matters podcast – https://www.hermoneymatters.com.au/podcastMedicare mental health treatment plans (Australia only) – Better Access initiative, Department of Health (covers GP mental health plans and rebated sessions)Coercive control support, 1800RESPECTSend Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    The lesson Helene's first divorce taught her that made her second one easier

  2. Aug 10

    Get your feelings out of your head and onto the page with Rachel Smith

    If you've ever lain awake trapped in a thought loop or composing a message you'll never send, this conversation is for you. Journalist and copywriter Rachel Smith joins Carolyn to talk about what writing can do that talking can't.  Rachel runs Letter To My Ex, a site where thousands of people around the world have written to the person who broke their heart, and she spent years as an anonymous advice columnist reading what heartbreak sounds like from the inside.  Together they look at why closure is so hard to find, why the truth so rarely delivers it, and what actually helps – sitting with the feeling, giving grief a container, and getting the words out of your body and onto the page. You'll come away with prompts you can use tonight and permission to stop chasing an answer that may never arrive. Key takeaways Closure and the truth aren't the same thing. As Rachel puts it, "in so many cases, they're just not gonna tell you really why they made that decision" – and when the truth does come, it often brings more questions rather than peace.Writing breaks the loop. When your thoughts are circling at 10pm, moving them onto the page gives you the perspective you can't find inside your own head.You don't have to journal every day to get the benefit. A ten to twenty minute feelings brain dump, when you need it, does more than a gratitude journal you resent.Give grief a container. Rachel's "five minute cry it out session" let her feel it fully, then get on with her day, rather than being ambushed by it hour after hour.Humour restores perspective – sweary colouring books, breakup cakes, a Tumblr full of other people's unsent love notes. Laughing at it is part of moving through it.What helps isn't more information about your ex. It's acceptance, sitting with the feelings, and finding out who you are again.Writing shows you your own patterns, including what you won't put up with next time. And if it isn't lifting after months or years, that's the signal to get professional support alongside the page. Links from this episode Letter To My Ex – lettertomyex.comRachel's List – rachelslist.com.auRachel Smith's website – rachelsmith.com.au Women's Divorce Academy membership - womensdivorceacademy.com/our-program More support Relationships Australia – counselling and family dispute resolution: relationships.org.auBeyond Blue – free mental health support: beyondblue.org.au or 1300 22 46361800RESPECT – national domestic, family and sexual violence counselling: 1800respect.org.au or 1800 737 732Send Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    Get your feelings out of your head and onto the page with Rachel Smith

  3. Aug 3

    Can't afford to leave? Here's where to start...

    Content warning: this episode discusses domestic and family violence, including deaths. There are links to support services below. If you've sat at the kitchen table late at night working out whether you can afford to leave, this episode is for you. You're not weak, and you're far from being the only one. New ABS figures put divorce near its lowest point since 1976 – in the middle of the worst cost of living stretch in a generation. That's not a sign more marriages are working. It's a sign fewer women can afford to leave. In this episode, I talk through what leaving actually costs in 2026, answer the "just leave" argument doing the rounds at the moment, and finish with three practical places you can start. Free help exists and a lot of women don't know about it – I'll tell you where to look. Support In an emergency, call:  000 (Australia) 111 (New Zealand) 999 (UK) 911 (US and Canada) 112 (Europe, and from your mobile in many other countries)Domestic and family violence support Australia:  1800RESPECT, 1800 737 732, 24 hours. Text 0458 737 732 or chat at 1800respect.org.au Australia 13YARN, 13 92 76, 24 hours, for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people New Zealand:  Women's Refuge Crisis Line, 0800 REFUGE (0800 733 843), 24 hours UK:  National Domestic Abuse Helpline, 0808 2000 247, 24 hours, free  Ireland:  Women's Aid, 1800 341 900, 24 hours, free, with support in over 240 languages  US and Canada:  National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233, 24 hours Canada – find your nearest shelter at sheltersafe.caAnywhere else in the world:  findahelpline.com is a vetted directory of crisis lines by country. Choose yours and it will show you what's available locally, in your language. From WDA Free guide: 5 Financial Mistakes Women Make in Divorce – and what to do instead. https://www.womensdivorceacademy.com/free-5-financial-mistakes Women's Divorce Academy membership – the full resource library covering property and settlement, the legal process in plain English, superannuation, parenting, work and wellbeing. $74 a month, cancel any time. Charges appear on your statement as Stellar Content Group. https://stellarcontent.thrivecart.com/wda-membership/ Free financial help Australia – National Debt Helpline, 1800 007 007. Free, independent, confidential financial counselling. Elsewhere, free financial counselling exists in most countries but goes by different names. Search "free financial counselling" or "free debt advice" plus your country – and look for a not-for-profit or government-funded service, not a company selling you a debt product. Free legal help Australia:  Legal Aid operates in every state and territory, alongside Women's Legal Services and community legal centres. Many offer free initial family law advice. Elsewhere, search "legal aid" or "free family law advice" plus your country or region. In many places a women's legal service or community legal centre will give you a first conversation at no cost. Support for men My work at Women's Divorce Academy supports women specifically but men experience domestic and family violence too, and there are services specifically for them. Australia:  MensLine Australia, 1300 78 99 78, 24 hours. Free professional counselling for men, including men experiencing family violence.  UK:  Men's Advice Line (Respect), 0808 801 0327. Free, and calls don't appear on itemised bills.  US and Canada: The National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233, supports people of all genders.  Australia: 1800RESPECT, 1800 737 732, is open to anyone experiencing domestic, family or sexual violence.  Elsewhere: findahelpline.com will show you what's available in your country. If you're a man concerned about your own behaviour towards a partner, please seek support. In Australia the Men's Referral Service is 1300 766 491. Mentioned in this episode The data in this episode is Australian, but the pattern isn't – if you're listening from somewhere else, the equivalent research and services in your country are worth looking up. Australian Femicide Watch, Sherele Moody's project through the RED HEART Movement – https://australianfemicidewatch.org and petition for a royal commission into femicide – https://australianfemicidewatch.org/campaigns/femicide-royal-commission/Leaving Violence Program – https://leavingviolenceprogram.org.auAnglicare Sydney, Cost of Leaving report 2026 – https://assets.anglicare.org.au/asset/52433ada-8ada-4ee4-b0bc-73a5c3d2bc9a/cost-of-leaving-report-2026.pdfABS, Marriages and Divorces, Australia, 2025 – https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/people-and-communities/marriages-and-divorces-australia/latest-releaseUniversity of Sydney, soaring house prices and divorce – https://www.sydney.edu.au/news-opinion/news/2025/07/15/soaring-house-prices-may-be-locking-people-into-marriages-new-research-shows.htmlANROWS, the facts about intimate partner homicide – https://www.anrows.org.au/publication/domestic-and-family-violence-lethality-the-facts-about-intimate-partner-homicide-html/National Legal Aid (Australia), find your state or territory service – https://www.nationallegalaid.orgFind A Helpline, crisis support directory by country – https://findahelpline.com Send Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    Can't afford to leave? Here's where to start...

  4. Jul 28

    ADHD, divorce and co-parenting with Sharon Collon

    This week, Carolyn sits down with Sharon Collon from The Functional Family to talk about parenting through separation when ADHD is part of the picture – whether that's your child's, your own, or both.  Sharon breaks down why transitions between two households cost the ADHD brain more than our neurotypical cousins, and shares tools you can use straight away: a "circular to-do list" that gives kids a visual path back to safety, a family meeting format that runs over dinner instead of turning into a toilet-roll witch hunt, and a reframe of rejection sensitivity dysphoria.  Carolyn and Sharon also talk about what happens when a child comes home dysregulated after time with the other parent, and how to build systems that hold up on your worst day – not just your best one. Key takeaways Kids with ADHD often experience time as "now" and "not now" rather than a clear sequence – visual planners and wall calendars make transitions concrete.A "circular to-do list" gives kids a visual path back to the safety of home, rather than a string of instructions to remember.Family meetings work best short, low-pressure, and paired with an activity – like decorating pizza over dinner – rather than a serious sit-down.Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) means divorce is more likely to land as rejection – naming it takes some of the sting out, for kids and adults.Small, predictable anchors – a goodnight ritual, a private hug signal, a proper welcome home – do more for a child's sense of security than long conversations.If a child regularly comes home dysregulated after time at the other parent's house, build in decompression time first: food, quiet, low demands, no big questions.New systems need the child's buy-in, real simplicity, and around twelve weeks of consistent practice alongside a parent before they stick for an ADHD brain. Links Free guide to talking to your children about your separation or divorce: https://www.womensdivorceacademy.com/free-what-to-say-to-your-kidsFree training in September – The ADHD Family System – www.thefunctionalfamily.com/systemFurther resources ADDitude – Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and ADHD, by William Dodson, M.D.Send Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    ADHD, divorce and co-parenting with Sharon Collon

  5. Jul 20

    Can you really build your business while getting divorced? With Karen Dennett

    Starting or rebuilding a business while your marriage is ending sounds like the worst possible timing – but for business mentor Karen Dennett, it was exactly when things started looking up.  In this conversation, Karen and Carolyn talk about what it actually takes to build something of your own when you’re low on money, energy and self-belief. You’ll walk away knowing how to work out the lifestyle you want and cost it honestly, how to bootstrap lean without a fancy website, why passive income is possible but never as easy as Instagram promises, and how to keep going on the flat days.  Most of all, you’ll hear why the right business friendships – women who get it and genuinely have your back – can make a massive difference. Key takeaways Start with the life you want, then build the business to fit it – not the other way around. Cost your real lifestyle, then check it against your capacity and pricing.You can bootstrap from the ground up. A social media page and a simple way to book can be enough to begin – you don’t need the full bells-and-whistles website.Passive income is possible but not easy. It needs an audience who know, like and trust you – the content is the small part.If you need to take a job to pay the bills, take it. Financial safety helps you make better business decisions and calms the panic.Pausing is not quitting. You’re allowed to pause, pivot and try something different.Find business friends, not just networking contacts – women who understand both the work and the season you’re in.So many women underprice and over-deliver because they don’t yet see their own value. Naming your impact changes that. Links and resources Karen Dennett: https://www.karendennett.com/ Before You Agree to Anything – the financial toolkit for property settlement: https://stellarcontent.thrivecart.com/know-before-you-sign The Separated Mother's Toolkit: https://stellarcontent.thrivecart.com/separated-mothers-toolkit/ Send Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    Can you really build your business while getting divorced? With Karen Dennett

  6. Jul 13

    Finding a softer kind of joy with Charu Moorjani

    Charu Moorjani had everything she thought she was supposed to want. Married at 23, on the right life path, ticking all the boxes in the right order. But on day one of her honeymoon, her body gave her a message she couldn't ignore — she was admitted to ICU in Macau with Guillain-Barré syndrome, a life-threatening immune system disorder that left her on a ventilator for a month. She went on to stay in the marriage for four more years. Until she couldn't. In this episode, Charu shares about what it means to stop outsourcing your happiness, the difference between a scripted life and a lived one, and what she now calls "a softer kind of joy." We also get into self-trust, boundaries as a happiness practice, and why your body might know what your mind isn't ready to admit yet. This one is for any woman who has ever built a life for an audience — and is starting to wonder what it might look like if she built it just for her instead. In this episode: The "scripted life" – and why ticking boxes doesn't deliver happinessWhat Guillain-Barré syndrome on her honeymoon taught Charu about control, stillness and what actually mattersCultural and family pressure to conform – and how it silenced herWhat the early days of separation actually looked like, and why small routines saved herThe confidence that came immediately after leaving – and why it surprised herA softer kind of joy – what it means and where happiness actually livesBoundaries as a happiness practice, not just self-protectionPractising "no" in the mirror – and why it worksGratitude as a daily doorway to joyValues alignment – and why Carolyn gets every WDA member to do a values exercise firstResources mentioned: Charu's book: The Happiness Pathway: When Life Unravels, Weave Yourself a Softer Kind of Joy — https://thehappinesspathway.com/shopWomen's Divorce Academy membership: https://www.womensdivorceacademy.com/our-programThe link between stress and autoimmune disorders in women: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7292717/ Connect with Charu: https://www.instagram.com/thehappinesspathway/ Connect with Carolyn: Instagram @womensdivorceacademy | womensdivorceacademy.com Send Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    Finding a softer kind of joy with Charu Moorjani

  7. Jun 29

    'No one's coming to save you' – How Angela rebuilt after her husband's affair

    Angela knew her marriage was over long before either of them did anything about it. What followed – infidelity, separation, court proceedings, full-time sole parenting in a regional town on a very low income – was by any measure a brutal few years. What she built on the other side of it is extraordinary. In this episode, Angela shares her story honestly and without filter — the dark days, the therapy (nearly two years of weekly sessions), the anxiety and depression she's open about, the boundaries she had to learn to hold, and the moment she stopped waiting for someone to save her and decided to save herself. She's now a buyer's agent, and she brings all of that experience to this conversation. We cover: - What Angela's marriage breakdown really looked like – and the weight of holding it together for years before it ended - How she got through the dark early days of separation - The role of therapy and boundaries in rebuilding her life - How she fell into a career as a buyer's agent and why it was the right fit - What a buyer's agent does — and why the seller's agent is not working in your interest - A woman who knows her numbers controls her future – what that actually means - Credit card limits and car loans – how hidden debt affects your borrowing capacity - The stepping stone property mindset for women rebuilding after divorce - Why she took the word "just" out of her vocabulary – and why you should too - Mental health, medication, and removing the shame from both If you're wondering whether you'll ever be financially okay again – this episode is for you. --- Links mentioned: Financial clarity toolkit – https://stellarcontent.thrivecart.com/know-before-you-sign/ Angela's business Oasis Buyer's Agent – https://oasisbuyersagent.com.au/ Send Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    'No one's coming to save you' – How Angela rebuilt after her husband's affair

  8. Jun 22

    Child support in Australia — How the system works and what to do when it doesn't

    Download your FREE Child Support Paper Trail guide: https://www.womensdivorceacademy.com/child-support-paper-trail If you've ever felt like the child support system isn't working — you're not imagining it. In this episode, I'm joined by Crystal Paduch, founder of Child Support Consultants and a former Services Australia child support caseworker, to talk through exactly how the system works, where it falls short, and what you can do about it. We cover: - Your two main options when you separate: binding child support agreement vs registering with Services Australia - Why your ex saying "let's keep it friendly" might actually be a massive red flag - What happens when a self-employed ex declares very little (or zero) income - How to apply for a change of assessment and what evidence to provide - The three-stage review process: change of assessment → objection → Administrative Review Tribunal - The $2 billion in unpaid child support on the system and what the 2026–27 budget is doing about it - What's changing from July 2027 that will help women share evidence more safely I also share my own experience going through an objection process — and why it wore me out even as someone who works in this space. Links mentioned in the podcast: Child Support Consultants (Crystal Paduch's support service for parents): https://childsupportconsultants.com.au/ Services Australia Child Support online calculator: https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/child-support-estimator Commonwealth Ombudsman report on the child support scheme (2024–25): https://www.ombudsman.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0022/318460/Weaponising-Child-Support-when-the-system-fails-families.pdf Administrative Review Tribunal: https://www.art.gov.au Send Carolyn a text READY FOR MORE SUPPORT? Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through. Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com CONNECT WITH US: Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy  Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW: If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

    Child support in Australia — How the system works and what to do when it doesn't
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About

Divorce with Carolyn is real talk for women about the hard parts of divorce and the beautiful life waiting on the other side. I've been through two divorces, spent years coaching women inside Women's Divorce Academy, and I'm here to be the divorce bestie you didn't know you needed — straight with you, cheering you on, and always bringing you back to what matters.

Information

  • Creator
    Carolyn Tate
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    25
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Women's Divorce Academy
  • Show Website
    Divorce with Carolyn

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