156 episodes

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

Absolutely Not Dear Media

    • Comedy
    • 4.9 • 12.3K Ratings

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

    FULLY BOOKED

    FULLY BOOKED

     On this episode of the Absolutely not podcast, Heather is letting you know, School is out for summer and bitch we are fully booked! It doesn't matter if you are hustlin' as a lifeguard, taking the kids to camp or treating yourself to a hoagie by the highway, Summer 2023 bout to be on and poppin! 
     
    Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code [absolutelynot] for $20 off your purchase of $100
     
    Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely
     
    Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely
     
    Follow Ashland on Instagram @ashlandhardseltzer
     
    Right now, for a limited time, you can save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com/absolutely
     
    Produced by Dear Media

    • 55 min
    Core Memory

    Core Memory

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes you down memory lane and drives you right into the "Core MeMories" of your childhood- from the sheer joy you'd feel on a field trip day, to the sadness you felt if your mom was late to chaperone- It's a whirlwind of emotion and its all flooding back after hitting the Absolutely Not Line. 
     
    Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
     
    Receive 20% off PLUS Free Shipping on your order at DRINKOLIPOP.com/ABSOLUTELY
     
    Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today. 
     
    Visit seed.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code [ABSOLUTELY] to redeem 20% off your first month of Seed's DS-01™ Daily Synbiotic.
     
    Go to DailyHarvest.com/absolutely to get up to forty dollars off your first box! That
     
    Produced by Dear Media

    • 1 hr 1 min
    Sorry You're Detained!

    Sorry You're Detained!

     On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back south of the border from her weekend of shows in Toronto. After getting held up at the border, listening to a threesome all night and crushing an international Nordstrom- she lives to tell about it- We also have a surprise appearance from Robin McMahan to spill the tea on the latest suburbian drama! 
     
    Get 5% off + a free Pique sampler pack (with 6 of their best-selling flavors) when you purchase 2+ cartons with code ABSOLUTELY at piquelife.com/absolutely
     
    Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/absolutely
     
    Ashland is gluten free, malt free, zero carbs, sugar free, no fat, and 100 calories. For more follow them on instagram at @ashlandhardseltzer
     
    To grab your two pills a day, head to moonjuice.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off.
     
    Produced by Dear Media
     
     

    • 1 hr 4 min
    No Reservations

    No Reservations

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back in the LA studios fresh from a midwest weekend on tour. She's working, but apparently not enough to save her from being humbled in a burger joint by general manager who takes his job REAL serious.
     
    Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
     
    Match with your dedicated therapist today at talkspace.com, and use promo code absolutely during sign-up to get $100 off your first month.
     
    Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely.
     
    Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months at ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY.
     
    Get free shipping on all water and merch at LiquidDeath.com/ABSOLUTELY.
     
    Produced by Dear Media

    • 1 hr 9 min
    "Trauma in the Drama" with guest Christina Tompkins

    "Trauma in the Drama" with guest Christina Tompkins

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back from a 3-day bender on the West coast. She saw a mormon trying to escape in Salt Lake, a man with a neck tat cry in Phoenix and a drive-by in Sacramento. Three amazing shows but spilling all the tea, with Tina T. 
     
    Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code [absolutelynot] for $20 off your purchase of $100
     
    Go to DRINKOLIPOP.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off plus free shipping.
     
    Visit athleticgreens.com/absolutely for a free one year supply and five free travel packs with your first purchase.
     
    Use code HEATHER at checkout for 25% off your first month or diagnostic test at allarahealth.com
     
    Go to Grove.com/ABSOLUTELY today to get a free gift set worth up to fifty dollars with your first order.
     
    Produced by Dear Media

    • 1 hr 18 min
    Deflection Beauty

    Deflection Beauty

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is celebrating the Rising of the lord, with some street safety tips and life advice. She is so full of knowledge and shit at the same time it's alarming. She hits the Absolutely-NOT-Line  to solve some of y'alls problems and realizes you all need a lot more than Jesus. 
     
    Check out Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
     
    Get a FREE 1 year s pply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely.
     
    Go to Framebridge.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELY to save an additional 15% off your first order.
     
    Use code HEATHER at checkout for 25% off your first month or diagnostic test at AllaraHealth.com/heather
     
    Upgrade your bra today and get 20% off your first order today at ThirdLove.com/absolutely
     
    Produced by Dear Media

    • 1 hr 4 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
12.3K Ratings

12.3K Ratings

Persephone ,

A beam of laughter

I have never written a review before, but I wanted to share how much this podcast is the best part of my week and is always a hoot and a half- so much so my husband listens too!

We love you bitchhhhh 🤍

briannafiala ,

what’s not to love?!

This is and will always be my favorite podcast. Every time I listen, I end the podcast feeling happier. She’s positive, honest, and relatable. Heather is the best!

absolutely what???? ,

Are the voicemails done?

Genuine question….are we never getting voicemails again? That was the best part of the pod so legitimately curious…

Top Podcasts In Comedy

Morbid: A True Crime Podcast
Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett
Cadence13
Team Coco & Earwolf
YMH Studios
Earwolf & Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey

You Might Also Like

Dear Media, Jackie Schimmel
Toast News Network
Dear Media, Amanda Hirsch
Dear Media
Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
PodcastOne

More by Dear Media

Dear Media, Amanda Hirsch
Lauryn Evarts & Michael Bosstick / Dear Media
Dear Media
Dear Media, Aliza Pressman
Dear Media
Dear Media, Will Cole