174 episodes

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

Absolutely Not Dear Media

    • Comedy
    • 4.9 • 12.6K Ratings

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

    BIA BIA MIA MIA

    BIA BIA MIA MIA

     On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her trip to Detroit with a new respect for the thin women of Michigan and the attitude of the TSA precheck staff. She hits the hotline and asks the age old questions like "Why dont Boomers drink water?" to "Do people in Charleston have pubic hair?"
     
    Sponsors:
     
    Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $30 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely30
     
    Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely
     
    Rright now you can get $20 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY20 at Nuuly.com
     
    Right now, you can get 15% off your first order when you visit ThriveCausemetics.com/absolutely
     
    f you want to support the show and pick up a pair, goodr is giving my listeners FREE SHIPPING on your first order at Goodr.com/absolutely
     
    Produced by Dear Media
     
    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

    • 1 hr 17 min
    Pulled Pork Party

    Pulled Pork Party

     On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather  hits the Absolutely Not Line and the voicemails are SHOCKING! One caller is getting fired from her job for being with child, while another is out-of-the-blue allergic to pulled pork. It's literally a game of survival. We have deep embarrassing confessions and some triggering core memories. No stone is left unturned on this insane episode! 
     
    Sponsors:
     
    Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
     
    Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely
     
    Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
     
    Go to DailyHarvest.com/absolutely to get up to forty dollars off your first box.
     
    Go to Nuuly.com and enter the code ABSOLUTELY20 and sign up to get $20 off your first month.
     
    Produced by Dear Media
     
    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

    • 1 hr 12 min
    Three Queens and a Mic

    Three Queens and a Mic

    On this week's episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back after way too many difficulties joined by best friend of the show, Raymond Padilla. They talk about everything from the royal family to Ray almost losing an arm after his monkey pox vaccination - and Robin joins in after being bamboozled by the MOMA.
     
    Sponsors: 
     
    Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months at Visitritual.com/ABSOLUTELY
     
    Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. 
     
    Right now you can get $20 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY20
     
    For listeners of the show, Everlywell is offering a special discount of twenty percent off an at-home lab test at Everlywell.com/absolutely
     
    Use code “ABSOLUTELY15” for 15% off Poppi on Amazon and get sippin'. 
     
    Produced by Dear Media
     
    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

    • 1 hr 3 min
    Pest Control

    Pest Control

        On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather hits the hotline with some wildly new and improved SCAMMMMS! After a weekend of dealing with Robin's international catfishing fiasco, Heather is on High alert to the tricks and deals y'all are trying to pull. As if we didnt have enough shit to deal with already- The hotline is filled with 1200 back cracks and a frantic 911 call from Australia!
     
    Sponsors:
     
    Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
     
    Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code absolutelynot for $20 off plus free shipping on your purchase of $100
     
    Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely
     
    Start your 100-day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials, including their best-selling suitcases and bags at AwayTravel.com/absolutely
     
    For listeners of this show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely
     
    Produced by Dear Media

    • 1 hr 19 min
    Bat in the Balenciaga

    Bat in the Balenciaga

      On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather hits the Absolutely Not Line to solve the world's problems. However, after the first voicemail she quickly realizes we need to call animal control. On this week's episode- we've got a lady with a bat in her designer bag, a lady on a cruise to nowhere, and a mom trying to navigate how to save teenagers from turning to the darkside! 
     
     
    Sponsors:
     
     
    Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/absolutely.
     
     
    Go to goodr.com/absolutely and get 15% off when you use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.
     
     
    Use code ABSOLUTELY15 for 15% off on Amazon and get sippin' Poppi soda.
     
     
    Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY​ to ​get $100 off of your first month​ at Talkspace.com
     
     
     
    Produced by Dear Media

    • 1 hr 12 min
    TABITHA'S TAKEOVER

    TABITHA'S TAKEOVER

       On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather has business consultant and friend, Raymond Padilla come to the Absolutely Not Headquarters for a full take over. It's the Board Meeting no one wanted to sit down for, but absolutely needed to attend. We're getting our ducks in a row while simultaneously fixing the world's problems by using the 5 pillars of efficiency. Ray also asks for donations at the end because Heather is sure as hell not paying him for his time or knowledge. 
     
    Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/absolutely
     
    Head over to WooMorePlay.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off the entire site.
     
    Get 35% off site-wide at CozyEarth.com when you use the code ABSOLUTELY.
     
    Get 20% off and free shipping with code ABSOLUTELY EatDeux.com
     
    Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at Article.com/ABSOLUTELY
     
    Produced by Dear Media
     
     

    • 1 hr 1 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
12.6K Ratings

12.6K Ratings

NZDana ,

Warning: You WILL Laugh hard

My only critique of this podcast is it has me laughing so hard I can barely run sometimes. I only listen on my runs (to make my runs fun and this is my reward listening to Heather!) I find myself laughing out loud on my runs, having a hard time breathing and just feeling joy. Her kindness pours through her and my absolutely yes moments are when best friend Ray is on too! One of the best podcasts out there. Make it a reward for you too! What do you not love doing? Pair it with Heather and you will look forward to that thing. Trust me!

nfkxusbakzoce501 ,

Heather is the best

I now love Wednesdays. A friend recommended this podcast and now I’m hooked. Heather is hilarious and keeps it real- I’m dying to see her live!!!

JulieAnnSoeataertKing ,

Always a 5 star show!!!

Hilarious about the water! I drink a ton of water but I never saw my grandma drink a sip of water - and I spent a lot of time with her!!! She did drink a lot of coffee and beer😂. Clear- a harrowing event😂😂😂

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