48 episodes

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

Absolutely Not Dear Media

    • Comedy
    • 4.9, 8.9K Ratings

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

    WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON

    WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON

    On this solo episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is falling apart at the thin ankles, literally. With a burnt taint, a rolled ankle and nothing to do, she has hit a new LEVEL OF NOPE. She cant even record this episode without her mom walking into the office to make it about her....typical Robin. If you thought the voicemails were wild last week, wait till you hear that the crazies have been up to now. Were week 852 into quarantine and still no one knows what the hell is going on! 
     
    Go to talkspace.com and use promo code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and help support the show!
     
    To learn more about GoMacro’s giveback programs, and to give their tasty bars a try, visit gomacro.com and use promo code ​ABSOLUTELY​ for 30% off plus free shipping!
     
    Produced by Dear Media. 

    • 49 min
    Burnt My Grundle

    Burnt My Grundle

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather relives her emotional journey after having hot coffee spilled on her vagina in the Starbucks Drive-Thru. The Grundle is crispy, the attitude is sassy and for some reason she is super thirsty.....ya know like actually thirsty. Heather hits the Absolutely Not line and from this batch of voicemails its ABSOLUTELY apparent that everyone has lost their friggin minds! 
     
     
    Produced by Dear Media. 

    • 42 min
    A Little Bit of CRAZY!

    A Little Bit of CRAZY!

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather decides to flip the script on Love and find out whats been happening to her single friends during LOVE, LOCKED UP RAW! Just because we are in quarantine doesn't mean people aren't still trying to find the one, or just send penis pics, and she is here to get the scoop from the opposite sex. Her dear friend and former elementary flame, Tommy Bardis is here to break down from the dude's perspective what is happening during this beyond awkward time to date. They will giggle, They will cry, they will be triggered with emotion, but hey, its a lot of Absolutely Yes on this episode! 
    Go to OMAXHealth.com and enter code “ABSOLUTELY”’ to get 20% off CryoFreeze and sitewide!




     
    Produced by Dear Media. 

    • 45 min
    I Hate Everyone with Jackie Schimmel of The Bitch Bible Podcast

    I Hate Everyone with Jackie Schimmel of The Bitch Bible Podcast

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has dear friend and fellow shit talker extraordinaire, Jackie Schimmel in the studio. They both look as equally hideous on zoom as they do in person, so no surprise there. The girls discuss trying to stay motivated, where they are on the emotional roller coaster that is quarantine and how much they are both starting to literally hate, well, EVERYONE. That and more! 
     
    Produced by Dear Media. 

    • 42 min
    AND THATS ON GOD

    AND THATS ON GOD

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast,  Heather is sweating from the leather couch in her Mom's basement and has a whole lot of attitude. She is hitting the hotline hard and taking your calls from quarantine. Since we are all just trying to survive and giggle a little this episode is especially silly and sweaty... did I mention how sweaty she is. That and more on this episode of Absolutely Not!
     
    Go to omaxhealth.com and enter code “ABSOLUTELY”’ to get 20% off CryoFreeze and site-wide!
     
    Produced by Dear Media. 

    • 42 min
    Pia Baroncini - Thriving in Pasadena

    Pia Baroncini - Thriving in Pasadena

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather interviews her sister from another mister, Fashion Icon and fellow podcast host, Pia Baroncini. These two have eerily similar lives that have led them both to marrying Italians and moving back in with their moms. They discuss the character building days of  slinging drinks in NYC to losing their dads and moving into their childhood homes. Pia runs a wildly successful clothing line, LPA THE LABEL that makes hot latex pants that will make anyone pussy pop in a handstand. This epsiode is a raw and real convo about adult lady shit and giving zero f***s. That and more! 

    • 58 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
8.9K Ratings

8.9K Ratings

Jtash12345 ,

Absolutely YES!

Heather, I love you so much! I can’t get enough of the crazy ass experiences you have! Even on your IG stories, I’m dead on a daily basis!!!

thefuturemrsr ,

Absolutely YES

P to P, Heather can do no wrong! I love her energy and her hysterical take on things. She is so open to different walks of life and opinions. Heather is so naturally funny and deserves all of the wonderful things coming her way! I absolutely love her and I couldn’t imagine my day without her Stories.

3fortyduece ,

Absofreakinlutely YES!!!!!

Heather is single handedly getting me through quarantine. She makes me cry from laughing so hard and if you haven’t heard “ovaries on a plane” you’re missing out. I want to be besties with her besties (Raymond and Chris) and freaking love the Italian Stallion, Robin, and the GA Law Lady. Heather deserves it all, she is truly living her best life.....burnt taint and all.

Top Podcasts In Comedy

Listeners Also Subscribed To

More by Dear Media