Anger Secrets

Alastair Duhs

The Anger Secrets podcast is a weekly show that covers everything you need to know about anger management. Hosted by Anger Expert Alastair Duhs, this podcast offers valuable tips, techniques and strategies for controlling your anger, mastering your emotions and creating calmer, happier and more loving relationships. The Anger Secrets podcast is perfect for anyone who is looking for proven tools and techniques to control their anger and create calmer, happier and more respectful relationships with those they love. If you're ready to learn how to control your anger and live the calmer, happy and more respectful life you want, this podcast is for you. Join us on the journey to anger management mastery today! For more information on how to control your anger, visit AngerSecrets.com.

  1. 3D AGO

    175 - Why You Keep Losing Your Temper - And How to Stop

    For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three practical steps to help you control your anger before it takes over. If you've ever said something you regret in the heat of the moment, or felt like your anger erupts before you even realise what's happening, this episode explains exactly why that happens and what you can do about it starting today. Rather than offering generic advice like "count to ten" or "take a deep breath," Alastair breaks down the real mechanics of anger: why it escalates so fast, what's actually driving it beneath the surface and how better communication can transform even the most stuck relationship patterns. Key Takeaways: You can't control your anger if you don't know it's happening. Learning to spot your personal early warning signs before anger peaks is the most important first step.Your anger isn't caused by what happens to you. It's caused by what you think about what happens to you. Changing the thought changes the response.Beneath every repeated trigger is usually a rigid belief, and once you can see it clearly, you can begin to shift it.Active listening is one of the most powerful anger management tools in relationships. When people feel truly heard, defensiveness drops and real conversations become possible.These are skills, not personality traits. They get easier with practice. Resources & Next Steps: If you'd like support controlling your anger and building calmer, more loving relationships: Visit: angersecrets.comBook a free 30-minute phone callAccess the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

    10 min
  2. FEB 28

    174 - How to Discipline Your Kids Without Losing Control

    For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. Have you ever promised yourself you’d stay calm with your kids only to find yourself yelling anyway when your patience runs out? You try the usual parenting tips, counting to ten or staying positive, but in the moment none of it seems to work. In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why most discipline advice fails when emotions are already high, and what actually works instead. You’ll learn how your internal emotional state plays a bigger role than your child’s behaviour, and how small changes in awareness, communication and structure can transform discipline from reactive to calm and effective. What you’ll learn in this episode: -Why your child’s behaviour isn’t the real cause of your anger -How stress and unprocessed emotions influence your reactions -The importance of clear expectations instead of vague rules -How noticing positive behaviour reduces conflict over time -Why empathy helps children calm down faster without removing boundaries -When and how to take a timeout yourself to prevent escalation Want help with this? If you’re tired of yelling and want practical tools to stay calm and connected with your kids, support is available: -Watch the free training on Breaking The Anger Cycle -Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call -Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

    12 min
  3. FEB 21

    173 - How One Man Broke The Anger Cycle: Matthew's Story

    For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. Have you ever felt like small frustrations slowly build up until suddenly you’re snapping at the person you care about most? You tell yourself you’ll do better next time, but the same pattern keeps repeating, leaving you feeling frustrated, guilty or stuck. In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs speaks with Matthew, a husband who found himself caught in a cycle of escalating arguments that were damaging trust in his relationship. Although he didn’t see himself as someone with a major anger problem, underlying stress and unprocessed emotions were turning everyday situations into conflict. You’ll hear how Matthew learned to recognise his early warning signs of anger, slow down his reactions and use practical tools to shift from conflict to cooperation, rebuilding calm communication and creating positive change at home. What you’ll learn in this episode: -Why anger often shows up through small moments rather than big events -How frustration can build quietly until it suddenly explodes -The importance of recognising where you are on the Tension Scale -Why thoughts don’t have to become actions -How changing your perspective can transform your relationship dynamics -Simple tools that help you slow down and respond more intentionally Want help with this? If you recognise yourself in Matthew’s story and want practical support learning how to control your anger, help is available: -Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle -Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call -Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

    17 min
  4. FEB 14

    172 - The One Word That Stops Anger In Its Tracks

    For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs introduces a simple but powerful framework designed to help you interrupt anger before it turns into an explosion. Instead of trying to calm down after an outburst has already started, you’ll learn how to recognise the early warning signs of anger and use a practical four-step process to change what happens next. If you’ve ever felt like anger takes over too quickly, or that you remember coping strategies only after it’s too late, this episode offers a clear and practical solution you can start using immediately. Key Takeaways: -Most people try to manage anger after they’ve already reacted. The real power lies in recognising the moment when anger is rising, not when it has already exploded. -The STOP Model gives you a structured way to create space between trigger and reaction. -Your anger rarely goes from zero to 100 instantly. There is almost always a window where change is possible. -Practicing these skills during low-stress situations helps build automatic responses when high-stress moments arise. -Small physical reminders (notes, cards, visual cues) can reinforce new habits. Resources & Next Steps: If you’d like support controlling your anger and breaking long-standing patterns: -Visit: https://angersecrets.com -Book a free 30-minute phone call -Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

    10 min
  5. FEB 7

    171 - Why Your Partner Never Hears What You're Trying to Say

    For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. Have you ever had an argument that started over something small? The dishes, a tone of voice or being late, and somehow ended with both of you feeling hurt, defensive and completely misunderstood? In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why most relationship conflict isn’t caused by big problems. It’s caused by small moments where listening breaks down, emotions rise and conversations spiral out of control before either person realises what’s happening. You’ll learn three practical communication skills that actually work: helping you feel heard, express yourself clearly without aggression and stop everyday disagreements from turning into damaging arguments. What you’ll learn in this episode: Why good intentions still lead to communication breakdownsThe most common mistake people make when they think they’re “listening”How to express yourself clearly without sounding aggressive or defensiveA simple structure for difficult conversations that reduces conflictHow to negotiate disagreements without damaging trust or respect The three communication skills covered: Active listening: Learning to understand before respondingClear, non-aggressive expression: Saying what you mean without escalating conflictEffective negotiation: Working together instead of against each other Want help with this? If communication in your relationship keeps breaking down, especially when emotions run high, support is available: Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycleBook a free 30-minute Anger Assessment CallLearn more about The Complete Anger Management System Visit angersecrets.com to get started. When communication changes, relationships change with it. And remember: You can’t control other people — but you can control yourself.

    13 min
  6. JAN 31

    170 - Understanding Your Anger Triggers

    For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. Have you ever gone from calm to furious in a matter of seconds, and only afterwards wondered, “Where did that come from?” In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why anger rarely comes out of nowhere. Instead, it’s usually triggered by long-standing patterns that quietly shape how you react in relationships, at work and under stress. You’ll learn what anger triggers really are, where they come from, and why recognising them early gives you the power to slow things down before anger takes control. What you’ll learn in this episode: What anger triggers are and why they feel automaticWhy small moments can activate intense emotional reactionsCommon anger triggers, including feeling disrespected, criticised, or overwhelmedHow past experiences and stress fuel present-day angerWhy awareness is the first step to real anger control Practical tools discussed: Identifying your personal anger triggers through reflectionUsing a diary or journal to spot patterns in your angerRecognising early warning signs before anger escalatesChallenging unhelpful thoughts through cognitive reframingWhen to seek professional support to speed up change Want help with this? If you want support identifying and managing your anger triggers: Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycleBook a free 30-minute Anger Assessment CallLearn more about The Complete Anger Management System Visit angersecrets.com to get started. Once you can recognise your anger triggers, you’re no longer at their mercy. And remember: You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

    11 min
  7. JAN 24

    169 - Is Your Anger Healthy or Harmful?

    For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. Is anger always a bad thing? Or are there times when feeling angry actually makes sense? In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why anger itself isn’t the problem. The real damage happens when anger is either suppressed or expressed in ways that hurt relationships. You’ll learn what healthy anger really looks like, how it differs from destructive anger and how to express anger in a way that protects trust, communication and emotional safety. What you’ll learn in this episode Why anger is a normal and necessary human emotionThe difference between healthy, assertive anger and destructive angerHow unhealthy anger damages trust and connection over timeReal-life examples of responding to anger at work and in relationshipsPractical ways to express anger calmly, clearly, and respectfully Key principles of healthy anger: Healthy anger is expressed, not suppressedIt is assertive, not aggressiveIt focuses on solutions rather than blameIt respects both your needs and the needs of others Practical tips covered: Pause before reacting and reflect on what’s really going onUse “I” statements instead of blame or accusationFocus on problem-solving rather than winningSet clear, respectful boundariesPractice forgiveness to avoid carrying resentment Want help applying this? If you’d like support learning how to express anger in healthier ways: Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycleBook a free 30-minute Anger Assessment CallLearn more about The Complete Anger Management System Visit angersecrets.com to get started. Anger doesn’t need to be eliminated. It needs to be understood and used wisely. And remember: You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

    10 min
  8. JAN 17

    168 - The Small Moments That Are Quietly Destroying Your Relationship

    For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. Why is it that one small comment can turn into a full-blown argument in some relationships, while in others, it barely causes a ripple? In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why relationships don’t usually break down because of the big arguments. They unravel through hundreds of small moments that slowly erode trust, safety and goodwill. You’ll learn a powerful concept that explains why the same words can feel harmless one day and deeply triggering the next, and how small, practical shifts can dramatically change the emotional climate of your relationship. What you’ll learn in this episode: Why small moments often matter more than big argumentsThe difference between positive and negative sentiment overrideHow stress, resentment and anger quietly change how partners interpret each otherWhy neutral comments can start to feel critical or attackingThree simple shifts that help keep relationships emotionally safe and resilient Three practical shifts discussed: Let your partner influence you — resentment grows when one person feels unheardIncrease expressions of appreciation — positive interactions must be intentionalTurn towards each other — small responses build emotional safety over time Want help applying this? If you’re noticing your relationship feels tense, reactive or fragile, support is available: Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycleBook a free 30-minute Anger Assessment CallLearn more about The Complete Anger Management System Visit angersecrets.com to get started. Relationships aren’t usually damaged in one big moment. They change direction through small choices made every day. And remember: You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

    10 min
4.6
out of 5
33 Ratings

About

The Anger Secrets podcast is a weekly show that covers everything you need to know about anger management. Hosted by Anger Expert Alastair Duhs, this podcast offers valuable tips, techniques and strategies for controlling your anger, mastering your emotions and creating calmer, happier and more loving relationships. The Anger Secrets podcast is perfect for anyone who is looking for proven tools and techniques to control their anger and create calmer, happier and more respectful relationships with those they love. If you're ready to learn how to control your anger and live the calmer, happy and more respectful life you want, this podcast is for you. Join us on the journey to anger management mastery today! For more information on how to control your anger, visit AngerSecrets.com.

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