Ask Jess and Dave

Jessica Fern and David Cooley
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  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Semiweekly

Ask Jess & Dave is the show where nothing's too awkward, too messy, or too human to unpack. Whether you're navigating love, healing old wounds, or just trying to figure yourself out — Jess and Dave are here to tackle your burning questions about love, healing, and the beautiful chaos of becoming a better you. No judgment. No jargon. Just honest conversation, a few laughs, and maybe the insight you didn't know you were looking for.

Episodes

  1. 2d ago

    Ask J&D Episode 5: When An Anxious & An Avoidant Partner Keep Triggering Each Other

    What if doing the work isn't enough? For anxious-avoidant couples, individual healing can only go so far. Because the trigger isn't just inside you — it's in the space between you. In Episode 5 of The Ask Jess & Dave Show, Jess & Dave get into the deeper mechanics of why the anxious-avoidant dance persists even when both partners are self-aware, growth-oriented, and genuinely trying — and what it actually takes to shift the dynamic at the relational level, not just the individual one. Got a question about love, relationships, or inner healing & transformation? Send it to AskJessandDave@theazuriteway.com

    40 min

  2. Jun 15

    Ask J&D Episode 4: Poly-curious or Relationship Avoidant?

    How do you know if someone is genuinely polyamorous — or just looking for a way out?Because here's the thing: when done with real integrity, opening a relationship doesn't shed obligations — it adds them. It implies more accountability. More transparency. More reassurance. More of the unglamorous, unsexy labor of loving people well. So if someone's vision of "more love" somehow comes with fewer responsibilities to the people they already have — that's a tell. They're not expanding their capacity for commitment. They could be looking for the door.Ethical non-monogamy isn't defined by the permissions it grants. It's defined by the work it demands.In this episode, we also explore the tension between a partner's urgency for freedom, exploration, and independence — and the other partner's very real need for safety and secure attachment. And what it looks like when those two things are moving at very different speeds.Drawing on insights from our book Polywise, this episode is essential watching whether you're navigating non-monogamy yourself, questioning a partner's motivations, or just trying to understand what ethical relating actually requires.Got a question about love, relationships, or inner healing & transformation? We want to hear it — send it to AskJessandDave@theazuriteway.com

    32 min

  3. Jun 15

    Ask J&D Episode 3: Is a sexless marriage unhealthy — especially for your nervous system?

    In Episode 3 of The Ask Jess & Dave Show, we explore one of the most quietly painful and under-discussed dynamics in long-term relationships. Because the real question isn't just about sex — it's about what the absence of it means.Is it a conscious, mutual choice? Or is it a symptom of something deeper — emotional disconnection, relational neglect, not feeling seen, heard, or understood? Resentments that have quietly built up over time through criticism, defensiveness, and emotional distance? Those are very different situations — and they have very different impacts on your wellbeing and your nervous system.We also talk about asexuality — what it actually means to be ace, how it differs from low libido or celibacy, and how it exists on a spectrum. Because for some people, a sexless relationship isn't a problem to solve — it's simply how they're wired.Whether you're in this situation, have been, or are just curious — this one is worth a watch!Got a question about love, relationships, or inner healing & transformation? Send it to us at AskJessandDave@theazuriteway.com

    28 min

  4. Jun 15

    Ask J&D Episode 2: Disagreeing on the Facts/Making Negative Assumptions

    Do you and your partner keep fighting about the same things — and can't even agree on what actually happened? Or maybe someone in the relationship keeps assuming they know exactly what their partner thinks or feels, and no amount of "that's not true" seems to change it. In Episode 2 of The Ask Jess & Dave Show, we're getting into two of the most stuck-feeling dynamics in relationships — and what you can actually do about them.

    29 min

  5. Jun 15

    Ask J&D Episode 1: Criticism In Relationship

    In this first episode of Ask Jess and Dave, we dig into the question: What is criticism really doing in a relationship? Not as a communication style to be managed or a bad habit to be curbed, but as a signal — a warning sign pointing toward deeper dynamics that are asking for awareness, understanding, and care. Drawing on our combined clinical and lived experience, we explore what life actually looks and feels like when criticism isn't part of the relational culture, why so many of us have come to accept it as inevitable, and what it means when we do. This is a conversation about what's possible when partners stop tolerating what doesn't belong, and start getting curious about what's underneath it.

    34 min
  • 5 Episodes

About

Ask Jess & Dave is the show where nothing's too awkward, too messy, or too human to unpack. Whether you're navigating love, healing old wounds, or just trying to figure yourself out — Jess and Dave are here to tackle your burning questions about love, healing, and the beautiful chaos of becoming a better you. No judgment. No jargon. Just honest conversation, a few laughs, and maybe the insight you didn't know you were looking for.

Information

  • Creator
    Jessica Fern and David Cooley
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    5
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Jessica Fern and David Cooley
  • Show Website
    Ask Jess and Dave