Be A Better You

Allison K. Dagney
  • 4.8 (59)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

The Be a Better You Podcast (formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast) is hosted by Best Selling Author and Certified Rapid Reprogramming™ Coach, Allison K. Dagney.  As a young adult, I met a man who I believed was the love of my life. We got married quickly and brought three kids into the world. But something was wrong. I was miserable. And I blamed myself for all the problems in our marriage. What I didn't know, was that I was being emotional abused by who I believe is a narcissist. I decided it was time to break free and step into the person I was always meant to be — confident and free to live the life I’ve always imagined.  I escaped, and I turned my personal story of transformation into a memoir. And now I coach women all over the world to help them transform their pain into empowerment, experience peace and joy, and start living life like never before. The views and opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect my personal views, opinions, or professional positions.

  1. 5d ago

    Ep 222: The Real Reason You Replay Conversations for Hours Afterwards

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Do you replay conversations in your head for hours after they happen? Do you find yourself analyzing texts, worrying that you said the wrong thing, wondering if someone is upset with you, or constantly trying to figure out what other people are thinking? If so, you're not alone—and you may not be dealing with simple overthinking. In this episode, emotional abuse recovery coach Allison explores one of the hidden causes of rumination after toxic relationships: the subconscious belief that you are responsible for other people's feelings. Many survivors of emotional abuse, narcissistic relationships, childhood trauma, and people-pleasing patterns become hypervigilant to the emotions of others. They spend hours mentally replaying conversations, searching for clues, trying to avoid conflict, rejection, criticism, or disapproval. What feels like overthinking is often a nervous system response rooted in emotional survival. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why you can't stop replaying conversations in your head • The connection between emotional abuse and rumination • Why your brain keeps searching for certainty after interactions • How hypervigilance develops in toxic relationships • Why someone else's feelings are not your responsibility to manage • How to begin breaking free from mental loops and emotional exhaustion If you've ever found yourself obsessing over a text message, worrying that someone is mad at you, overanalyzing social interactions, or struggling to stop thinking about what happened, this episode will help you understand what's really happening beneath the surface. Because healing isn't about learning how to think harder. It's about understanding why your mind keeps returning to the same thoughts in the first place. If you're ready to stop overthinking, quiet the mental noise, and finally find relief from emotional looping and rumination, this episode is for you. Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show Ready to stop overthinking your past relationship and start feeling like yourself again? Visit www.radiatenrise.com to explore coaching programs, self-paced courses, free resources, and tools designed to help you break free from emotional abuse, rumination, and self-doubt. ✍🏻 Apply for a FREE Root Cause Assessment & Action Plan Call and discover what's really keeping you stuck, along with the next steps to help you move forward. 📧 Questions? Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com 💬 Come say hi on Instagram or Facebook: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast

    37 min

  2. Jun 16

    Ep 221: You Know They Were Toxic, So Why Do You Still Care?

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond You know the relationship was unhealthy. You know they hurt you. You know you deserve better. So why do you still care? If you've ever found yourself thinking about a toxic ex, missing someone who treated you poorly, or feeling confused about why you're not "over it" yet, this episode is for you. In this episode, we're exploring one of the most frustrating parts of healing after emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, toxic relationships, and heartbreak: caring about someone you know wasn't good for you. We'll talk about why caring doesn't mean you should go back, why it doesn't mean you made the wrong decision, and why these feelings can continue long after you've gained clarity about what happened. You'll learn:  Why you still miss someone who hurt you  The difference between love, attachment, "trauma bonds," and more Why your nervous system craves familiarity, even when it's unhealthy  How hope, potential, and fantasy can keep you emotionally attached  The hidden thing that keeps many women stuck  What it actually looks like to heal after a toxic relationship If you've been searching for answers about why you still love your ex, why you can't stop thinking about them, why healing feels so difficult, or why part of you still cares despite everything that happened, this episode will help you understand what's really going on beneath the surface. Healing isn't about pretending you never cared. It's about understanding why you cared, what you're truly attached to, and learning how to choose yourself without carrying shame for the feelings that remain. 🎙️ Ready to stop feeling stuck? Apply for a free Root Cause Call through the link in the show notes and discover the subconscious patterns, nervous system responses, and emotional loops that may be keeping you attached to the past. Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show Ready to stop overthinking your past relationship and start feeling like yourself again? Visit www.radiatenrise.com to explore coaching programs, self-paced courses, free resources, and tools designed to help you break free from emotional abuse, rumination, and self-doubt. ✍🏻 Apply for a FREE Root Cause Assessment & Action Plan Call and discover what's really keeping you stuck, along with the next steps to help you move forward. 📧 Questions? Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com 💬 Come say hi on Instagram or Facebook: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast

    42 min

  3. Jun 9

    Ep 220: Why You Keep Mentally Fighting With Your Ex (or your Abuser)

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond If you’ve ever caught yourself mentally arguing with your ex while driving, showering, trying to sleep, or folding laundry… this episode is for you. In this episode, we’re talking about the exhausting mental loops that so many women experience after emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, toxic relationships, divorce, or heartbreak. The imaginary conversations. The replaying of old arguments. The “I should have said this” spirals. The constant need to explain yourself, defend yourself, or finally be understood. You’ll learn why your brain keeps creating these mental fights long after the relationship has ended, what triggers these intrusive thought loops, and why rumination can become emotionally addictive and difficult to stop. We also dive into:  the nervous system’s role in repetitive thought loops  emotional rehearsing during and after toxic relationships   the hidden grief underneath anger and rumination  why logic alone doesn’t stop obsessive thinking  how to begin interrupting these subconscious survival patterns If you’re constantly replaying conversations, mentally fighting with your ex, struggling to stop overthinking, or wondering why you still feel emotionally stuck after the relationship ended, this episode will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface. This is not about “just letting it go.” It’s about understanding the deeper nervous system and subconscious patterns that keep women emotionally trapped in the past long after they’ve physically left the relationship. Apply for a Root Cause Call through the link in the show notes if you’re ready to stop living inside the loop and start healing at the root. Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show Ready to stop overthinking your past relationship and start feeling like yourself again? Visit www.radiatenrise.com to explore coaching programs, self-paced courses, free resources, and tools designed to help you break free from emotional abuse, rumination, and self-doubt. ✍🏻 Apply for a FREE Root Cause Assessment & Action Plan Call and discover what's really keeping you stuck, along with the next steps to help you move forward. 📧 Questions? Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com 💬 Come say hi on Instagram or Facebook: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast

    35 min

  4. Jun 2

    Ep 219: Loving Someone’s Potential Is Keeping You Trapped

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond If you keep finding yourself waiting for someone to change, holding onto the “good parts” of them, replaying their promises in your head, or wondering whether you’re giving up too soon…this episode is for you. In this powerful episode of the Be A Better You Podcast, we’re talking about the emotional trap of loving someone’s potential instead of recognizing their consistent patterns of behavior. This is one of the biggest reasons women stay stuck in emotionally abusive, emotionally immature, narcissistic, or unhealthy relationships far longer than they should. You may think you’re being hopeful, loyal, compassionate, understanding, or “seeing the best in people.” But after emotional abuse, hope can quietly become a coping mechanism that disconnects you from reality and keeps you emotionally attached to who someone could be instead of who they repeatedly show you they are. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why emotionally intelligent women often stay stuck in toxic relationshipsThe difference between healthy hope and emotional self-abandonmentWhy you keep waiting for them to changeHow trauma bonding and co-dependency fuel attachment to potentialWhy words and promises feel so convincing after emotional abuseHow to recognize relationship patterns instead of focusing on isolated momentsThe subconscious beliefs that keep women trapped in cycles of overthinking and confusionWhy “giving the benefit of the doubt” can become emotionally dangerousThe difference between emotional chemistry and emotional safetyWhy emotionally abusive relationships thrive on inconsistencyHow nervous system attachment keeps you hooked on emotional highs and lowsSigns you may be romanticizing someone’s future potential instead of accepting present realityIf you’ve been searching for: “How do I know if I should stay or leave?” “Why can’t I let go?” “Why do I keep hoping they’ll change?” “Am I trauma bonded?” “Why do I ignore red flags?” “Why do I feel addicted to the relationship?” “How do I stop overthinking my relationship?” “Can emotionally abusive people change?” “Why do I keep making excuses for them?” “Why do I feel guilty for wanting to leave?” …this episode will help you understand the deeper emotional and subconscious patterns driving those thoughts. This episode is not about becoming cold, bitter, or cynical. It’s about learning how to see clearly, trust yourself again, and stop building your future around someone else’s unfinished potential. ✨ Ready for deeper healing? Explore the Emotional Healing Training Lab and the self-paced “Should I Stay or Leave?” course linked in the show notes. Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show Ready to stop overthinking your past relationship and start feeling like yourself again? Visit www.radiatenrise.com to explore coaching programs, self-paced courses, free resources, and tools designed to help you break free from emotional abuse, rumination, and self-doubt. ✍🏻 Apply for a FREE Root Cause Assessment & Action Plan Call and discover what's really keeping you stuck, along with the next steps to help you move forward. 📧 Questions? Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com 💬 Come say hi on Instagram or Facebook: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast

    31 min

  5. May 26

    Ep 218: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (Guest Lisa Johnson BTGO)

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Parental alienation as a broad concept is one of the most painful and misunderstood experiences a parent can go through—especially after emotional abuse, divorce, or separation. In this episode, I sit down with Lisa Johnson of "Been There Got Out" to talk about the devastating reality of parental alienation, abuse by proxy, and what happens when an unsafe parent uses children as emotional weapons. We discuss how manipulative ex-partners use children to maintain control, how to avoid feeding into the same toxic dynamics, and what to do when your children begin pulling away from you. Lisa shares powerful insights and we talk about nervous system regulation, emotional self-control, and why becoming grounded—not defensive—is one of the most important things you can do. We also dive into parenting plans, custody agreements, and why iron-clad legal wording matters when dealing with high-conflict co-parenting situations. If you are navigating divorce, separation, custody battles, narcissistic abuse, or emotional abuse involving your children, this episode will help you feel seen, prepared, and empowered. Inside this episode:  • What parental alienation actually looks like  • Abuse by proxy and how children are used for control  • Why reacting emotionally can work against you  • Nervous system regulation during high-conflict co-parenting  • How to respond when your child pulls away  • Parenting plans and custody agreement mistakes to avoid  • Protecting yourself emotionally and legally This conversation is honest, practical, and deeply important for anyone trying to parent through emotional abuse. If this episode resonates, make sure to grab my book Hack Your Mind, Heal Your Heart for deeper healing and subconscious reprogramming after emotional abuse. Connect with LISA JOHNSON & the BTGO team here: https://beentheregotout.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/been_there_got_out/ Get Lisa & Chris's Book: https://a.co/d/09VuyuWK Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show Ready to stop overthinking your past relationship and start feeling like yourself again? Visit www.radiatenrise.com to explore coaching programs, self-paced courses, free resources, and tools designed to help you break free from emotional abuse, rumination, and self-doubt. ✍🏻 Apply for a FREE Root Cause Assessment & Action Plan Call and discover what's really keeping you stuck, along with the next steps to help you move forward. 📧 Questions? Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com 💬 Come say hi on Instagram or Facebook: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast

    52 min

  6. May 19

    Ep 217: The Story You Make Up About What Everyone Thinks of You

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Why do you always assume you did something wrong in relationships? Why does your mind immediately jump to “they must be thinking something bad about me” when someone pulls away, doesn’t respond, or seems off? In this episode, we break down the pattern of self-blame and obsessive mind-reading that many women experience after emotional abuse. You’ll learn why your brain fills in the blanks with worst-case assumptions, how trauma wires you to personalize other people’s behavior, and why this leads to anxiety, overthinking, and emotional exhaustion. We’ll also explore the difference between intuition and anxiety, and give you grounded, practical steps to interrupt the pattern so you can stop spiraling and start feeling more stable in your relationships. If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly trying to figure out what others think of you—or blaming yourself when something feels off—this episode will help you understand why and show you a new way forward. Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show Ready to stop overthinking your past relationship and start feeling like yourself again? Visit www.radiatenrise.com to explore coaching programs, self-paced courses, free resources, and tools designed to help you break free from emotional abuse, rumination, and self-doubt. ✍🏻 Apply for a FREE Root Cause Assessment & Action Plan Call and discover what's really keeping you stuck, along with the next steps to help you move forward. 📧 Questions? Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com 💬 Come say hi on Instagram or Facebook: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast

    24 min

  7. May 12

    Ep 216: Crystals & What They Actually Do for Healing (w/Guest Christine Luken)

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond What if the clarity you’ve been searching for isn’t something you need to figure out… but something you can learn to receive? In this episode, I sit down with Christine Luken, Financial Dignity Coach, a Crystal Wisdom Codes practitioner, to explore a topic that a lot of people are curious about—but don’t always fully understand: crystals, intuition, and how we access deeper guidance in our lives. We go beyond the surface-level “woo” and get into a grounded conversation about what’s actually happening when people work with crystals. Christine shares how she experiences intuitive downloads (including what she calls “mind movies”), how she learned to trust what comes through, and why crystals aren’t something to depend on—but can act as amplifiers of energy, awareness, and insight. This conversation is for you if you’ve ever felt drawn to something more—whether that’s intuition, spirituality, or simply understanding yourself on a deeper level—but still want it to make sense. And if you’ve ever wondered… are crystals just rocks, or is there something more going on here? We get into that too. This isn’t about blind belief. It’s about awareness, reflection, and reconnecting to your own inner guidance in a way that actually supports your healing. To connect with Christine and get free resources go here: ⬇️ Website: https://www.christineluken.com/  Money is Emotional Podcast: https://www.christineluken.com/podcast/  For women going through divorce: 💔 Divorcing Woman’s Money Checklist http://bit.ly/divchklist  OR First 3 chapters of Financial Dignity After Divorce book: http://financialdignityafterdivorce.com/  Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show Ready to stop overthinking your past relationship and start feeling like yourself again? Visit www.radiatenrise.com to explore coaching programs, self-paced courses, free resources, and tools designed to help you break free from emotional abuse, rumination, and self-doubt. ✍🏻 Apply for a FREE Root Cause Assessment & Action Plan Call and discover what's really keeping you stuck, along with the next steps to help you move forward. 📧 Questions? Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com 💬 Come say hi on Instagram or Facebook: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast

    44 min

  8. May 5

    Ep 215: Chemistry Isn't Always a Green Flag (Especially After Abuse)

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond You feel the spark.  The pull.  The butterflies that make it feel like this could be something real. But what if that “chemistry” isn’t actually a good sign? In this episode, we’re breaking down why intense attraction after emotional abuse can be misleading—and how what feels like connection is often your nervous system recognizing a familiar (and unhealthy) pattern. You’ll learn the difference between true emotional safety and nervous system activation, why calm and consistent can feel boring at first, and how to stop mistaking anxiety for chemistry in dating and relationships. We also go deeper into how to rebuild trust with your body’s intuition, recognize patterns that mirror past abusive relationships or childhood dynamics, and begin shifting out of cycles of overthinking, chasing, and emotional highs and lows. If you’ve ever found yourself drawn to the same type of person over and over again… this episode will help you understand why—and what to do differently moving forward. This isn’t about ignoring attraction.  It’s about understanding what’s driving it. In this episode, we cover:  Why “chemistry” can be a red flag after emotional abuse  The difference between healthy attraction and trauma-based attraction  How your nervous system influences who you’re drawn to  Why calm, steady relationships can feel unfamiliar or wrong  How to trust your body’s intuition again  Practical ways to recognize and interrupt unhealthy relationship patterns If you're ready to stop repeating the same relationship cycle and start understanding your patterns at the root, you can book a free 30-minute Root Cause Call through the show notes. Keywords: emotional abuse recovery, trauma bonding, relationship patterns, dating after emotional abuse, nervous system healing, toxic relationships, healthy relationships, intuition and relationships, attachment patterns, why I feel chemistry with the wrong person, break toxic cycles, subconscious patterns, healing from narcissistic abuse, relationship anxiety, trauma and attraction Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show Ready to stop overthinking your past relationship and start feeling like yourself again? Visit www.radiatenrise.com to explore coaching programs, self-paced courses, free resources, and tools designed to help you break free from emotional abuse, rumination, and self-doubt. ✍🏻 Apply for a FREE Root Cause Assessment & Action Plan Call and discover what's really keeping you stuck, along with the next steps to help you move forward. 📧 Questions? Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com 💬 Come say hi on Instagram or Facebook: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast

    30 min
See All (224)

4.8
out of 5
59 Ratings

About

The Be a Better You Podcast (formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast) is hosted by Best Selling Author and Certified Rapid Reprogramming™ Coach, Allison K. Dagney.  As a young adult, I met a man who I believed was the love of my life. We got married quickly and brought three kids into the world. But something was wrong. I was miserable. And I blamed myself for all the problems in our marriage. What I didn't know, was that I was being emotional abused by who I believe is a narcissist. I decided it was time to break free and step into the person I was always meant to be — confident and free to live the life I’ve always imagined.  I escaped, and I turned my personal story of transformation into a memoir. And now I coach women all over the world to help them transform their pain into empowerment, experience peace and joy, and start living life like never before. The views and opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect my personal views, opinions, or professional positions.

Information

  • Creator
    Allison K. Dagney
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    224
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Be A Better You
  • Show Website
    Be A Better You

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