Be A Better You

Allison K. Dagney
  • 4.8 (59)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

The Be a Better You Podcast (formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast) is hosted by Best Selling Author and Certified Rapid Reprogramming™ Coach, Allison K. Dagney.  As a young adult, I met a man who I believed was the love of my life. We got married quickly and brought three kids into the world. But something was wrong. I was miserable. And I blamed myself for all the problems in our marriage. What I didn't know, was that I was being emotional abused by who I believe is a narcissist. I decided it was time to break free and step into the person I was always meant to be — confident and free to live the life I’ve always imagined.  I escaped, and I turned my personal story of transformation into a memoir. And now I coach women all over the world to help them transform their pain into empowerment, experience peace and joy, and start living life like never before. The views and opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect my personal views, opinions, or professional positions.

  1. 4d ago

    Ep 219: Loving Someone’s Potential Is Keeping You Trapped

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond If you keep finding yourself waiting for someone to change, holding onto the “good parts” of them, replaying their promises in your head, or wondering whether you’re giving up too soon…this episode is for you. In this powerful episode of the Be A Better You Podcast, we’re talking about the emotional trap of loving someone’s potential instead of recognizing their consistent patterns of behavior. This is one of the biggest reasons women stay stuck in emotionally abusive, emotionally immature, narcissistic, or unhealthy relationships far longer than they should. You may think you’re being hopeful, loyal, compassionate, understanding, or “seeing the best in people.” But after emotional abuse, hope can quietly become a coping mechanism that disconnects you from reality and keeps you emotionally attached to who someone could be instead of who they repeatedly show you they are. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why emotionally intelligent women often stay stuck in toxic relationshipsThe difference between healthy hope and emotional self-abandonmentWhy you keep waiting for them to changeHow trauma bonding and co-dependency fuel attachment to potentialWhy words and promises feel so convincing after emotional abuseHow to recognize relationship patterns instead of focusing on isolated momentsThe subconscious beliefs that keep women trapped in cycles of overthinking and confusionWhy “giving the benefit of the doubt” can become emotionally dangerousThe difference between emotional chemistry and emotional safetyWhy emotionally abusive relationships thrive on inconsistencyHow nervous system attachment keeps you hooked on emotional highs and lowsSigns you may be romanticizing someone’s future potential instead of accepting present realityIf you’ve been searching for: “How do I know if I should stay or leave?” “Why can’t I let go?” “Why do I keep hoping they’ll change?” “Am I trauma bonded?” “Why do I ignore red flags?” “Why do I feel addicted to the relationship?” “How do I stop overthinking my relationship?” “Can emotionally abusive people change?” “Why do I keep making excuses for them?” “Why do I feel guilty for wanting to leave?” …this episode will help you understand the deeper emotional and subconscious patterns driving those thoughts. This episode is not about becoming cold, bitter, or cynical. It’s about learning how to see clearly, trust yourself again, and stop building your future around someone else’s unfinished potential. ✨ Ready for deeper healing? Explore the Emotional Healing Training Lab and the self-paced “Should I Stay or Leave?” course linked in the show notes. Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show To learn more about my Programs, Course, and Offers visit the website: www.radiatenrise.com Support Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    31 min

  2. May 26

    Ep 218: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (Guest Lisa Johnson BTGO)

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Parental alienation as a broad concept is one of the most painful and misunderstood experiences a parent can go through—especially after emotional abuse, divorce, or separation. In this episode, I sit down with Lisa Johnson of "Been There Got Out" to talk about the devastating reality of parental alienation, abuse by proxy, and what happens when an unsafe parent uses children as emotional weapons. We discuss how manipulative ex-partners use children to maintain control, how to avoid feeding into the same toxic dynamics, and what to do when your children begin pulling away from you. Lisa shares powerful insights and we talk about nervous system regulation, emotional self-control, and why becoming grounded—not defensive—is one of the most important things you can do. We also dive into parenting plans, custody agreements, and why iron-clad legal wording matters when dealing with high-conflict co-parenting situations. If you are navigating divorce, separation, custody battles, narcissistic abuse, or emotional abuse involving your children, this episode will help you feel seen, prepared, and empowered. Inside this episode:  • What parental alienation actually looks like  • Abuse by proxy and how children are used for control  • Why reacting emotionally can work against you  • Nervous system regulation during high-conflict co-parenting  • How to respond when your child pulls away  • Parenting plans and custody agreement mistakes to avoid  • Protecting yourself emotionally and legally This conversation is honest, practical, and deeply important for anyone trying to parent through emotional abuse. If this episode resonates, make sure to grab my book Hack Your Mind, Heal Your Heart for deeper healing and subconscious reprogramming after emotional abuse. Connect with LISA JOHNSON & the BTGO team here: https://beentheregotout.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/been_there_got_out/ Get Lisa & Chris's Book: https://a.co/d/09VuyuWK Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show To learn more about my Programs, Course, and Offers visit the website: www.radiatenrise.com Support Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    52 min

  3. May 19

    Ep 217: The Story You Make Up About What Everyone Thinks of You

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Why do you always assume you did something wrong in relationships? Why does your mind immediately jump to “they must be thinking something bad about me” when someone pulls away, doesn’t respond, or seems off? In this episode, we break down the pattern of self-blame and obsessive mind-reading that many women experience after emotional abuse. You’ll learn why your brain fills in the blanks with worst-case assumptions, how trauma wires you to personalize other people’s behavior, and why this leads to anxiety, overthinking, and emotional exhaustion. We’ll also explore the difference between intuition and anxiety, and give you grounded, practical steps to interrupt the pattern so you can stop spiraling and start feeling more stable in your relationships. If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly trying to figure out what others think of you—or blaming yourself when something feels off—this episode will help you understand why and show you a new way forward. Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show To learn more about my Programs, Course, and Offers visit the website: www.radiatenrise.com Support Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    24 min

  4. May 12

    Ep 216: Crystals & What They Actually Do for Healing (w/Guest Christine Luken)

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond What if the clarity you’ve been searching for isn’t something you need to figure out… but something you can learn to receive? In this episode, I sit down with Christine Luken, Financial Dignity Coach, a Crystal Wisdom Codes practitioner, to explore a topic that a lot of people are curious about—but don’t always fully understand: crystals, intuition, and how we access deeper guidance in our lives. We go beyond the surface-level “woo” and get into a grounded conversation about what’s actually happening when people work with crystals. Christine shares how she experiences intuitive downloads (including what she calls “mind movies”), how she learned to trust what comes through, and why crystals aren’t something to depend on—but can act as amplifiers of energy, awareness, and insight. This conversation is for you if you’ve ever felt drawn to something more—whether that’s intuition, spirituality, or simply understanding yourself on a deeper level—but still want it to make sense. And if you’ve ever wondered… are crystals just rocks, or is there something more going on here? We get into that too. This isn’t about blind belief. It’s about awareness, reflection, and reconnecting to your own inner guidance in a way that actually supports your healing. To connect with Christine and get free resources go here: ⬇️ Website: https://www.christineluken.com/  Money is Emotional Podcast: https://www.christineluken.com/podcast/  For women going through divorce: 💔 Divorcing Woman’s Money Checklist http://bit.ly/divchklist  OR First 3 chapters of Financial Dignity After Divorce book: http://financialdignityafterdivorce.com/  Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show To learn more about my Programs, Course, and Offers visit the website: www.radiatenrise.com Support Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    44 min

  5. May 5

    Ep 215: Chemistry Isn't Always a Green Flag (Especially After Abuse)

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond You feel the spark.  The pull.  The butterflies that make it feel like this could be something real. But what if that “chemistry” isn’t actually a good sign? In this episode, we’re breaking down why intense attraction after emotional abuse can be misleading—and how what feels like connection is often your nervous system recognizing a familiar (and unhealthy) pattern. You’ll learn the difference between true emotional safety and nervous system activation, why calm and consistent can feel boring at first, and how to stop mistaking anxiety for chemistry in dating and relationships. We also go deeper into how to rebuild trust with your body’s intuition, recognize patterns that mirror past abusive relationships or childhood dynamics, and begin shifting out of cycles of overthinking, chasing, and emotional highs and lows. If you’ve ever found yourself drawn to the same type of person over and over again… this episode will help you understand why—and what to do differently moving forward. This isn’t about ignoring attraction.  It’s about understanding what’s driving it. In this episode, we cover:  Why “chemistry” can be a red flag after emotional abuse  The difference between healthy attraction and trauma-based attraction  How your nervous system influences who you’re drawn to  Why calm, steady relationships can feel unfamiliar or wrong  How to trust your body’s intuition again  Practical ways to recognize and interrupt unhealthy relationship patterns If you're ready to stop repeating the same relationship cycle and start understanding your patterns at the root, you can book a free 30-minute Root Cause Call through the show notes. Keywords: emotional abuse recovery, trauma bonding, relationship patterns, dating after emotional abuse, nervous system healing, toxic relationships, healthy relationships, intuition and relationships, attachment patterns, why I feel chemistry with the wrong person, break toxic cycles, subconscious patterns, healing from narcissistic abuse, relationship anxiety, trauma and attraction Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show To learn more about my Programs, Course, and Offers visit the website: www.radiatenrise.com Support Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    30 min

  6. Apr 28

    Ep 214: Your Dreams Are Opening a Door You’ve Been Ignoring (Guest Dream Worker Oneiraya)

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Most people dismiss their dreams as random noise… but what if they’re actually one of the clearest ways your subconscious tries to reach you? In this episode, I sit down with spiritual guide and dream worker Maelle (known as Oneiraya — “queen of dreams”) to explore what’s really happening when you sleep, and why your dreams may be far more intentional than you’ve been taught to believe. We dive into the inner dynamics that shape your dream world — including the protector and persecutor parts of the mind that influence whether your dreams feel supportive, symbolic, or unsettling. You’ll start to see how even your most confusing or uncomfortable dreams aren’t random… they’re messages. We also talk about:  • Why some people believe they “can’t dream” (and what’s actually going on)  • How to begin noticing patterns, themes, and recurring symbols  • Simple ways to prime your mind for deeper, more meaningful dreams  • How to build self-trust by learning your own internal language  • The connection between trauma, healing, and dream awareness Maelle also shares pieces of her own story and how her experiences led her into this work — which adds a powerful, human layer to the conversation. If you’ve ever woken up from a dream and felt like there was something there… something just out of reach… this episode will help you start paying attention in a completely different way. Your dreams aren’t here to entertain you.  They’re here to guide you. — ✨ If this episode resonates, you can connect with Maelle / Oneiraya online and explore more of her work around dream interpretation and inner guidance. https://www.instagram.com/oneiraya_/ ✨ And if you’re ready to go deeper into your own patterns and subconscious programming, you can book a free 30-minute Root Cause Call with me using the link in the show notes. Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show To learn more about my Programs, Course, and Offers visit the website: www.radiatenrise.com Support Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    50 min

  7. Apr 21

    Ep 213: It’s Not the Coping Mechanism—It’s What You’re Trying Not to Feel

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond If you’ve ever felt stuck in patterns you know aren’t serving you—whether it’s alcohol, emotional eating, overthinking, or constantly seeking validation from someone—this episode will change the way you see it. In today’s episode, we’re breaking down the truth about coping mechanisms and why it’s not about willpower, discipline, or “just stopping.” You’ll learn how your brain and nervous system create coping strategies to regulate emotional pain after toxic or emotionally abusive relationships—and why those patterns can feel so hard to break. We talk about the deeper root of behaviors like needing reassurance in dating, attachment to someone you barely know, and the cycle of reaching for temporary relief instead of addressing what’s underneath. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I keep doing this?”—this episode will give you clarity. You’ll walk away understanding: Why coping mechanisms aren’t the problem—but the solution your mind createdWhat you’re actually trying to avoid or regulate emotionallyWhy you can’t just “stop” without addressing the root causeHow to begin shifting these patterns in a real, lasting wayThis is a powerful episode for anyone healing from emotional abuse, trauma bonding, anxious attachment, or struggling with self-sabotage and emotional regulation. ✨ My new book, Hack Your Mind, Heal Your Heart: A Trauma-Informed Path to Healing from Emotional Abuse, is officially out today—April 21, 2026—and available now on Amazon in paperback and ebook. If you’re ready to break free from these patterns and finally understand your mind, this book will guide you step-by-step. GET THE BOOK HERE Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show To learn more about my Programs, Course, and Offers visit the website: www.radiatenrise.com Support Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    25 min

  8. Apr 14

    Ep 212: The Science of Healing After Emotional Abuse (Interview on The Survivor’s Playbook)

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond What actually happens in the brain after emotional abuse—and why can healing feel so difficult even when you know the relationship was unhealthy? In this episode, I’m sharing a conversation from my recent appearance on Chantal Contorines’ podcast, The Survivor’s Playbook. Chantal is a high-conflict divorce and recovery coach who supports people navigating the complicated reality of leaving toxic or emotionally abusive relationships. Together, we dive into the science behind emotional abuse recovery, exploring why the brain often continues replaying painful relationships long after they’ve ended and what needs to happen for real healing to begin. In this candid conversation, we discuss: • What emotional abuse does to the brain and nervous system • Why people often experience rumination, overthinking, and mental loops after a toxic relationship • The subconscious patterns that can keep someone emotionally stuck • Why leaving an unhealthy relationship is rarely as simple as people think • What it actually takes to retrain the mind and begin healing We also talk about ideas from my upcoming book Hack Your Mind, Heal Your Heart, which explores how subconscious programming shapes the way we think, react, and stay attached to painful relationship patterns—and how those patterns can be interrupted so real change can happen. This episode is an honest, informative conversation between two women working in the world of emotional abuse recovery, trauma healing, and personal growth, sharing insights from the work we do with clients every day. If you’re navigating the aftermath of a toxic relationship, struggling with rumination, or trying to understand why your mind keeps going back to the past, this conversation will help you see what’s really happening beneath the surface. You can learn more about Chantal Contorines and her podcast The Survivor’s Playbook by searching for her online or on your favorite podcast platform. Her work focuses on supporting people through high-conflict relationships, co-parenting challenges, and rebuilding life after emotional abuse. Keywords: emotional abuse recovery, healing after emotional abuse, toxic relationships, rumination after breakup, trauma bonding, brain science of trauma, narcissistic abuse recovery, high conflict relationships, relationship trauma healing, subconscious patterns, healing after toxic relationships. Contact Chantal here: https://www.instagram.com/chantal.contorines.coaching/ Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today Support the show To learn more about my Programs, Course, and Offers visit the website: www.radiatenrise.com Support Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    43 min
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4.8
out of 5
59 Ratings

About

The Be a Better You Podcast (formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast) is hosted by Best Selling Author and Certified Rapid Reprogramming™ Coach, Allison K. Dagney.  As a young adult, I met a man who I believed was the love of my life. We got married quickly and brought three kids into the world. But something was wrong. I was miserable. And I blamed myself for all the problems in our marriage. What I didn't know, was that I was being emotional abused by who I believe is a narcissist. I decided it was time to break free and step into the person I was always meant to be — confident and free to live the life I’ve always imagined.  I escaped, and I turned my personal story of transformation into a memoir. And now I coach women all over the world to help them transform their pain into empowerment, experience peace and joy, and start living life like never before. The views and opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect my personal views, opinions, or professional positions.

Information

  • Creator
    Allison K. Dagney
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    221
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Be A Better You
  • Show Website
    Be A Better You

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