Thoughts From My Thirties

Kala Riggins

Life is complicated. And honestly? Most of us are just trying to understand it while we’re still living it. Thoughts From My Thirties is my ongoing conversation with the in-between seasons — the ones where you’re not who you used to be, but you’re not fully who you’re becoming yet. I’m your host, Kala Riggins. I think out loud. I feel deeply. And I care about what’s underneath the surface. Each episode is part reflection, part confession, part real-time processing. The kind of conversations that don’t try to tie everything into a bow… but help you breathe, soften, and realize you’re not behind — you’re human. Because in your thirties, you stop chasing perfect and start craving honest. You stop performing clarity and start asking better questions. And you realize that most of life isn’t about having it figured out — it’s about staying present while you’re becoming. No pressure. No pretending. Just permission to be in process. Welcome to Thoughts From My Thirties. This is where we think. We feel. We grow — in real time. @KalaRiggins

  1. MAR 5

    I Turned 35 and Here’s What I’m Proud Of | A Birthday Brag Session

    Turning 35 made me realize something: you don’t need the traditional milestones to be proud of your life. In this birthday episode, I’m bragging on myself — petty and popping. If you’ve ever felt behind, in-between, or unsure if you’re doing life “right”… this one is for you. This one is for the girl who needs to brag on herself a little more. The thirty-something who’s tired of milestones being used as a measuring stick. The millennial who’s learning: two things can be true… and I’m still that girl. In this birthday episode, I’m not doing the usual deep dive. I’m doing a brag session. In this episode, we get into:• Why I’m proud I’m prompt (and why being late every time isn’t cute) • Being okay in silence + not needing constant stimulation • The freedom of not having the “traditional” milestones (house, marriage, kids) and not feeling less fulfilled • Starting over, starting from scratch, starting in the middle of chaos… and still showing up • My hygiene routine (yes, it’s petty… and yes, I smell good 😭) • My relationship with God: deepened discernment + no longer trying to live without Him • Having refined taste in people, places, and experiences • Being a good friend: safe, nonjudgmental, and built for real conversation • “No longer negotiating with my calling” + why hearing isn’t enough… it’s time to move A few thoughts from my thirties… Timestamp Breakdown00:00 — Brag session rules + “She’s 35. She has arrived.” 02:10 — Golden birthday energy + why we’re not doing the deep reflective thing today 04:40 — Petty flex: I’m prompt, and I’m proud 07:10 — Silence, nervous systems, and not needing constant stimulation 10:30 — Not married, not a homeowner, no kids… and not feeling less than 14:10 — Starting over without reverting back to the “mundane” plan 16:30 — Petty but important: hygiene routine + “you’ll never say I was stink” 19:20 — My relationship with God + the 33-year-old resurrection year 23:40 — Community break: Our Inner Thoughts (keep the convo going) 26:10 — Taste, “outside,” and not living life in isolation 29:30 — I’m a really good friend (and what safe friendship actually looks like) 33:10 — “No longer negotiating with my calling” + James 1:22 36:10 — Face card, skills, and thanking the 2016 YouTube girlies 38:40 — Saying the quiet part out loud: loneliness + still being that girl 44:00 — The duality: low days don’t cancel your identity 47:20 — Closing: brag on yourself + peace in the process of figuring it out Resources + LinksDownload the episode companion resource: I started a resource library for y’all. After each episode, I drop a Kala-coded companion guide so the conversation doesn’t end when the episode ends. Download here: https://spring-basil-85806.myflodesk.com/e85zoionw0 Join my private communityhttps://kalariggins.substack.com/subscribe Our Inner Thoughts is a space to keep the conversation going with: • Monthly Group Thoughts (live virtual discussions) • Inside My Mind Q&A sessions (ask me anything — creativity, strategy, life, love, becoming) Question for you…What’s one petty thing and one popping thing you’re proud of in this season? Drop yours in the comments — and if you’re my friend, go ahead and “amen” me too. 😭 Let’s stay connectedSocials: @KalaRiggins Website: https://kalariggins.com/ Contact: Kala@KalaRiggins.com About MeI’m Kala — host, content creator, and storyteller. I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves. Over here, it’s about thoughts and conversations that help you return to yourself — your voice, your clarity, and what actually matters.

    40 min
  2. FEB 12

    Believing in Yourself Is a Full-Time Job (Here’s How to Clock Back In)

    Believing in Yourself Is a Full-Time Job If you’ve been trying to “stay positive” but doubt keeps sliding into the room this episode is for you. This is for the girl who clocked out for a minute. The thirty-something who got tired. The millennial who needs to clock back in. In this episode, we get into: -Doubt creeping in and why it made me question my faith -Why I’m rejecting the idea that doubt and faith can’t coexist -“Detours are not delays” — and how I’m rewiring my mind around timing -Creativity without capitalism: your art doesn’t need entrepreneurship to matter -The “hard body” energy I may be giving off (and how it doesn’t match my real desire: love) -Believing in love when singleness makes you comfortable (and guarded) -The real fear underneath love: “Will it cost me myself?” -Abundance as birthright (not burnout) + letting peace be profitable -Believing God is easy… believing His timing is the real work -Grieving the life you thought you’d have by now (and still trusting you’re not behind) -“Clocking back in” as a mindset: treating belief like a daily practice, not a mood Resources + Links Download the guide: CLOCK BACK IN: This guide is your gentle (but firm) guide to believing in you again. LINK - https://spring-basil-85806.myflodesk.com/e85zoionw0 Join my private community: https://kalariggins.substack.com/subscribe?utm_source=menu&simple=true&next=https%3A%2F%2Fkalariggins.substack.com%2F Our Inner Thoughts: A space to keep the conversation going with: -Monthly Group Thoughts (live virtual discussions) -Inside My Mind Q&A sessions (ask me anything — creativity, strategy, life, love, becoming) Question for you: What area are you clocking back into right now — love, abundance, creativity, faith, or timing? Let's stay connected! About Me: I’m Kala! Host, content creator, and storyteller. I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves. Over here, it’s about thoughts and conversations that help you return to yourself — your voice, your clarity, and what actually matters. Socials: @KalaRiggins My Website: https://kalariggins.com/ Contact: Kala@KalaRiggins.com

    35 min
  3. JAN 30

    Your Job is Making You Boring | How to have deeper conversations with anyone.

    When Did We All Become So Boring? If you can hold a convo, have a personality, and you have range… but lately every interaction feels like a bore... this episode is for you. In this episode, we get into: - Having a job is making us an absolute snooze fest - How we were trained to build identity around work - How job titles became the first identity we were ever handed - Why we lead with work even though most of us don’t even like our jobs - The dating angle: how men can be wrapped in work identity (and how women feed the beast too) - A short-lived romance that proved how refreshing it is to get to know someone without work talk - How being curious + authentic makes you more confident and more yourself - And the fun part: my Kala-coded conversation starters resource to spice up your next interaction Resources + Links Download the guide: Kala-Coded Conversation Starters https://spring-basil-85806.myflodesk.com/e85zoionw0 ... A fun, personality-forward set of prompts to help you stop leading with work and start having better conversations. Join my private community: https://kalariggins.substack.com/subscribe?utm_source=menu&simple=true&next=https%3A%2F%2Fkalariggins.substack.com%2F ... Our Inner Thoughts: A space to keep the conversation going with: Monthly Group Thoughts (live virtual discussions) Inside My Mind Q&A sessions (ask me anything — creativity, strategy, life, love, becoming) Question for you: What’s your go-to conversation starter when you’re tired of talking about work? Let's stay connected! About Me: I’m Kala! Host, content creator, and storyteller. I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves. Over here, it’s about thoughts and conversations that help you return to yourself — your voice, your clarity, and what actually matters. Socials: @KalaRiggins My Website: https://kalariggins.com/ Contact: Kala@KalaRiggins.com

    34 min
  4. JAN 15

    Everything I’m Not Changing About Myself This Year

    Everything I’m Not Changing About Myself This Year. If you’re the kind of millennial who did everything “right” — followed the rules, hit the milestones, played the game by the book — and you’re now looking around in your 30s like… wait a minute, this was a scam? This episode is for you.This is your permission slip to stop “fixing” yourself into someone else… and start honoring who you already are. In this episode, we get into: Why “new year, new me” often turns into self-abandonmentThe difference between evolution and erasing yourself* When you need a new perspective instead of a new identityHow adulthood quietly disconnects you from your coreThe parts of you the world keeps trying to dim (voice, creativity, depth)Why your mind and perspective are your most valuable assetsLetting go of performing spirituality & honoring how you connect with GodHow conditioning, comparison, and conformity mute your authenticityThe identity check-ins I’m using to stop slipping into samenessWhy starting over isn’t always growth * How groupthink is making us boring (and why I’m choosing original thought instead) Resources + Links Download the worksheet: Everything I’m Not Changing About Myself This Year — A guided reflection for returning to the parts of you that don’t need fixing. Join my private community: Our Inner ThoughtsA space to keep the conversation going with: Monthly Group Thoughts (live virtual discussions)Inside My Mind Q&A sessions (ask me anything — creativity, strategy, life, love, becoming) What’s one part of you you’re not changing this year — no matter what? About Me: I’m Kala! Host, content creator, and storyteller.I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves.Over here, it’s about thoughts and conversations that help you return to yourself — your voice, your clarity, and what actually matters. Socials: @KalaRiggins My Website: https://kalariggins.com/ Contact: Kala@KalaRiggins.com

    38 min
  5. 10/19/2025

    5 Scriptures That Have Been Guiding My Creative Journey | Beneath It All 🤐

    This is Beneath It All, a mini version of my podcast (Beneath The Seams) — where I share real-time, real-life reflections in between episodes. In today’s episode, we get into: ✨ How faith redefines the creative process ✨ Partnering with God instead of performing for the internet ✨ The difference between divine timing and delayed obedience ✨ Why fear disguised as preparation keeps you stuck ✨ Scriptures that ground your creativity when you doubt your gifts If you’ve ever felt like your creativity is inconsistent, blocked, or losing meaning — this one’s for you. Timestamps00:00 – Let’s take it back to the beginning: God as the first Creator 01:35 – Why I started praying through my creativity, not just about it 03:10 – James 4:17 → Disobedience isn’t always doing the wrong thing — it’s delaying the right one 05:02 – Ephesians 3:20 → God’s pace isn’t punishment, it’s protection 07:48 – Ecclesiastes 11:4 → Stop checking the weather; plant anyway 10:26 – Colossians 3:23 → Creating with excellence as worship 12:14 – Nehemiah 6:3 → Protecting your peace, pace, and purpose — “I can’t come down.” 14:08 – John 10:27 → Discernment over data: hearing God’s voice in your creative process Join My Private Community✨ on Substack → https://kalariggins.substack.com/ Let’s Stay Connected📱 Instagram + TikTok: @kalariggins 💌 Contact: Kala@KalaRiggins.com

    12 min
  6. 10/09/2025

    What Compatibility Really Means in a Relationship: Dating in Your 30s

    What does it really mean to be compatible with someone? I’ve been thinking a lot about this — and honestly, I think intellectual compatibility might be my biggest struggle. Not chemistry, not vibes, not attraction… but finding someone who can actually meet me where my mind is. In this episode, I’m talking about: -Why being “chosen” doesn’t make you more special — God already did that -Why I can’t date someone who isn’t spiritually grounded -The 5 layers of compatibility (and why intellect ranks high for me) -The Baby Mama story — and the moment I realized we weren’t equally yoked -Why visionary women struggle to “fit” into a man’s plan -My recent dating app voice notes (yes, you’re gonna scream 😩) If you’ve ever felt too deep, too complex, or too much to be understood — this one’s for you. Let’s go Beneath The Seams! 🤐 -- 00:00 Coming Up — “I’ve never been asked for my hand in marriage, and I don’t wanna be a baby mama.” 02:10 Defining compatibility 09:12 Why intellectual connection matters more than just a vibe 15:40 The Baby Mama story — and the laughter that told me everything 20:02 Spiritual alignment as a non-negotiable 26:45 Lifestyle preferences: hiking vs. brunch & finding middle ground 32:04 Power couples & merging visions 38:20 Storytime: “You’ll miss your blessing” 😭 42:11 Storytime: The 1:30 AM “you up?” text (sir, please) 44:26 Listener prompt — which type of compatibility do you crave most? 🎧 Listen to Beneath The Seams wherever you stream podcasts 💬 Join the conversation in the comments — rank your top 3 types of compatibility 🖤 Subscribe for new episodes every week Connect with me: Website → https://beneaththeseams.com Instagram + TikTok → @kalariggins Email → Kala@KalaRiggins.com Let's stay connected! --- I’m Kala! Host, content creator, and storyteller. I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves. Here, we talk about the messy middle of life and creativity — the doubt, the breakthroughs, the moments that make you want to quit, and the ones that keep you going. (all while looking GOODt!) --- Work With Me: https://kalariggins.com/monetize-me https://cal.com/kalariggins My Website: https://kalariggins.com/ Contact: Kala@KalaRiggins.com

    1 hr
  7. 10/02/2025

    Low-Maintenance Friendships Are Making Us Lonely

    If you’ve ever called yourself a “low-maintenance friend” but secretly crave deeper connection… this conversation is for you. We talk about… -Why the “low-maintenance” trend quietly excuses neglect. -Loneliness as an epidemic—and how we’re drifting from community. -Medium-maintenance friendships: presence, checking in, reciprocity. -Healthy effort vs. toxic draining (discernment matters). -Behavior checks: stop flaking, raise emotional awareness, be curious. -Life stages & growing apart: naming why connection feels harder now. -Faith lens: God gave us each other—community is sacred stewardship. Let’s go Beneath The Seams! -- 00:00 Coming Up! 00:24 Beneath The Seams manifesto (why we go below the surface) 01:40 Welcome back — what this space is & why this topic now 03:02 The trend: why “I don’t require much” is quietly isolating us 05:05 Maintenance analogies: nails, car, faith → relationships 06:42 Personal truth: feeling detached despite having “friends” 09:18 Growing apart as life changes (distance, kids, routines) 11:06 The danger of “low” settings → from monthly to yearly to… strangers 12:55 Naming what you need: depth as a love language 15:08 Loneliness online & IRL; post-pandemic isolation habits 17:10 Healthy effort vs. toxic draining (use discernment) 18:36 The medium-maintenance baseline: 20:28 Presence IRL & putting the phone down 21:44 Reciprocity confession: “Do I have friends because I maintain them?” 23:12 Follow the nudge: when someone crosses your mind, call/text 24:35 The “365-day rule”: are we still friends if we haven’t spoken in a year? 26:04 “Maturity” as a mask for neglect 27:22 Faith lens: Genesis 2:18, Proverbs 27:17, disciples lived *together* 29:05 Behavior checks: stop flaking; the cost of community is inconvenience 31:02 Emotional awareness & curiosity: be in your friends’ business (lovingly) 32:28 Personal commitment: leave the house more; invite community in 34:00 Open invite: are you isolated or thriving in friendship? 35:12 Reviews/help the show grow + share with a friend 36:05 Closing blessing — and see you next week — Resources & Scriptures Mentioned Genesis 2:18 — “It is not good that man should be alone.” Proverbs 27:17 — “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” --- Let's stay connected... / kalariggins I’m Kala! Host, content creator, and storyteller. I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves. Here, we talk about the messy middle of life and creativity — the doubt, the breakthroughs, the moments that make you want to quit, and the ones that keep you going. (all while looking GOODt!) --- Connect with me: Podcast Website: [https://beneaththeseams.com/](https://beneaththeseams.com/) Instagram + TikTok @kalariggins Contact:Kala@KalaRiggins.com]

    39 min
  8. 09/19/2025

    Everything I’m Overthinking About My Creator Journey (And Why I’m Still Showing Up)

    If you’ve ever started, stopped, felt sure, then doubted again… this conversation is for you. We talk about… Why your story may include an unusual testimony. Start–stop seasons: and why they still count.How Perfectionist kills momentum.Letting life’s recurring lessons return with a new perspectiveVulnerability as ministry: sharing the heavy parts without self-judgment. Letting your gift serve people, not your fear.The fear of being misunderstood: making peace with visibility, critique, and the reality that conflict is part of the calling. Let’s go Beneath The Seams! -- 00:00 Coming Up! — “I think God is preparing me for an unusual testimony” 01:38 Welcome back + what this space is (safe, unfiltered, inclusive) 02:32 Why I’ve been gone & why I’m choosing honesty over glossing it over 03:35 Today’s frame: everything I’m overthinking about the pod & my creative journey 04:22 Saying the same thing “again” (and giving myself permission to revisit themes) 06:02 Life is cycles: new levels, same core lessons → freeing myself from “it must be new” 07:14 Conflict talk: why “we resolved it, never speak again” doesn’t work for me 08:33 Art imitating life: taking off the producer hat → more raw, still polished 09:46 Killing momentum: the creative shame loop of “if it isn’t great, don’t post” 11:18 My minimum bar to publish: 3 simple checks to hit “upload” anyway 12:20 Vulnerability as a superpower (and why the heaviness still scares me) 13:58 Outfit moment — joggers, styled dress-as-top, sneakers, ASOS bag 14:46 Knowing yourself to be vulnerable; ministry beyond the pulpit 16:06 The “exposure” thing: playing it too safe online vs. how I am in real life 17:24 The viral video & the sneaky fear of being misunderstood 18:52 Prayer insight: “Conflict is part of the calling.” Making peace with visibility 20:31 My pre-record prayer & releasing control of how the message lands 21:28 Root-cause overthinking: why I analyze before I act (and when that helps) 22:30 Unlearning the expected success arc; “unusual testimony” over the “great lock-in” 24:18 Start–stop stories matter: success for those who struggled to stay consistent 25:42 Closing the “misunderstood” loop & choosing impact over approval 26:48 Do we ever fully “overcome” overthinking? Choosing better tools, not self-shame 28:22 Faith lens: weapons may form; faith changes how I weather them 29:20 Refusal to quit + permission to tell the truth about the challenge 30:26 Community check-in: tell me what you’re overthinking 31:02 Promise to grow in consistency 31:48 Final blessing: finding peace in the process → see you next time — Today's Look (Outfit Linked Here) Resources & scriptures 2 Corinthians 12:9 — “My grace is sufficient for you…”Matthew 5:37 — integrity in your yes (mentioned thematically) Join the conversation! Tell me what you’re overthinking this week — drop it in the comments or DM.If this episode gave you breath, share it with a friend who’s been stuck in start–stop.If you love the pod, a quick rating/review really helps us grow. --- Let's stay connected... / kalariggins I’m Kala! Host, content creator, and storyteller. I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves. Here, we talk about the messy middle of life and creativity — the doubt, the breakthroughs, the moments that make you want to quit, and the ones that keep you going. ( all while looking GOODt!) --- Connect with me: Podcast Website: https://beneaththeseams.com/ Book a call https://cal.com/kalariggins Instagram + TikTok @kalariggins Contact:Kala@KalaRiggins.com

    36 min
5
out of 5
26 Ratings

About

Life is complicated. And honestly? Most of us are just trying to understand it while we’re still living it. Thoughts From My Thirties is my ongoing conversation with the in-between seasons — the ones where you’re not who you used to be, but you’re not fully who you’re becoming yet. I’m your host, Kala Riggins. I think out loud. I feel deeply. And I care about what’s underneath the surface. Each episode is part reflection, part confession, part real-time processing. The kind of conversations that don’t try to tie everything into a bow… but help you breathe, soften, and realize you’re not behind — you’re human. Because in your thirties, you stop chasing perfect and start craving honest. You stop performing clarity and start asking better questions. And you realize that most of life isn’t about having it figured out — it’s about staying present while you’re becoming. No pressure. No pretending. Just permission to be in process. Welcome to Thoughts From My Thirties. This is where we think. We feel. We grow — in real time. @KalaRiggins

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