Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy

Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches

***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!

  1. 4D AGO

    149 | 4 Ways To Go The Extra Mile When Recovering From Sexual Betrayal

    We’ve walked the hard road of betrayal and addiction, and we know that half-measures simply don’t cut it when you are fighting for the heart of your marriage. True healing isn’t about just stopping the bad behavior—it’s about actively pursuing the life God intended for your covenant, even when the path is difficult.   Today, we’re talking about what it really takes to go the extra mile. We’re discussing why settling for the bare minimum keeps so many couples stuck, and how leaning into the uncomfortable work is exactly what separates those who survive from those who truly thrive in restoration.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free! 💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com   RESOURCES:      Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity Episode 140. How Well Do You Really Know Your Spouse When Infidelity Becomes Your Reality   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

    31 min
  2. MAR 9

    148 | Are You Helping or Hindering Your Wife's Betrayal Trauma Recovery?

    In our coaching practice, we see patterns emerge in different areas that tell a bigger story about what is going on in the minds husbands who have betrayed, and their traumatized wives.   Today we are going to talk about the scenario of a husband making suggestions for the recovery and healing of his wife. This is tricky ground. The husband’s motivation can come from a place of genuine concern or from something more self-serving. Is either one of these approaches helpful?     We’ll unpack this quandary, and give you some hope for working out this issue in a way that pleases God and gives him the glory.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free! 💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com   RESOURCES:      Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal Episode 87. Can’t We Just Get Back to Normal? Shortest Path to True Intimacy After Sexual Betrayal   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

    24 min
  3. MAR 2

    147 | Did You Ever Really Love Me? Facing the Heartache of Sexual Betrayal

    Today, we want to talk about an extremely painful question betrayed wives ask their unfaithful husbands.   It’s a question that torments a wife when looking at the history of her marriage through the lens of infidelity.   Those memories of special times spent together - vacations, family events, wedding anniversaries - are tainted by the new knowledge that she wasn’t his one and only love.   She can’t wrap her mind around what his sexual betrayal means for their relationship and it’s devastating to imagine him engaging in sexual or emotional attachments with anyone else, whether on a screen or in person.   This question is, “Did you ever really love me?”   We have a raw conversation over this question from our own experience; finding some answers and also finding hope in Jesus Christ’s unfailing love for us!   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free! 💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com   RESOURCES:      Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 92. Dying to Self: Transformational Moments in Recovery from Sexual Betrayal Episode 136. Stuck in a Rut: 6 Traps that Hinder Recovery for an Unfaithful Husband   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

    24 min
  4. FEB 23

    146 | Hit the PAUSE Button for Triggers After Sexual Betrayal

    Today, we’re tackling Triggers and Trauma Responses, post-betrayal alarms that test our commitment after infidelity is discovered in the marriage.   We talked over this topic in our last Unseen Beauty wives care group gathering and it’s something that all betrayed wives experience. Several of the women gave examples of recent triggers and some were able to give wonderful insights on how to handle them.   Today we’ll share what triggers are, the emotions behind them, and some biblical tools for managing them, like taking thoughts captive.   Plus, we have created a PAUSE acronym to help wives move through triggers in a healthy way. You can find the link to this resource below.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free! 💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com   RESOURCES:      Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) P.A.U.S.E for Triggers download   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 13. His Triggers, Her Triggers – 4 Steps For Dealing With Triggers While Healing From Infidelity Episode 95. Weddings and Pirates and Triggers. Oh, my!   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

    26 min
  5. FEB 16

    145 | From Sex-Addiction to Addiction Whack-a-Mole

    Sometimes recovery isn’t just killing one addiction—it can be like a game of Whack-a-Mole. Kill the sex addiction, and others pop up.   Picture this...you’re in an arcade, inexplicably drawn to the game called Whack-a-Mole. The idea of the game is when a mole pops up you whack it with a padded mallet, and as you strike it, it goes down into its hole.   But another one pops up in another area.   Now your attention is drawn to the one that just popped up. You repeat the process until the timer runs out. You never really win the game, but you may score more points than others based on the speed and accuracy of your ability to whack the moles.   This can have a very similar effect when we are trying to rid our lives of addiction, or simply compulsive behaviors.   We usually start with the one that is bringing the most destruction to our lives and marriages. We may feel we have victory over our primary compulsion, yet another can emerge to take its place.   Why is this?   In our show today we will cover the pitfalls of what we are calling addiction Whack-a-Mole, what it is, how to spot it, and how to actually exterminate all the moles of addiction in your life.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free! 💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com   RESOURCES:      Addiction Whack-A-Mole Worksheet Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 17. Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior Episode 25. Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

    26 min
  6. FEB 9

    144 | Post Disclosure Revelation: Setback or Breakthrough?

    Imagine this: You’ve survived the gut-wrenching reality of Full Disclosure. The truth is out—presumably there are no more secrets.   After a long healing journey, you’re starting to breathe again.   Then… bam. A new revelation drops.   Is it a devastating setback… or the breakthrough you’ve been praying for?   Today, we share a real story and the benefits that can turn pain into progress—stick around!   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free! 💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 52. What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity? Episode 58. Purpose from Pain: Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage?   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

    35 min
  7. FEB 2

    143 | After Disclosure: He Feels Better, She Feels Worse

    Today, we’re diving into one of the rawest pains a marriage can face: infidelity.   Specifically, that pivotal moment when the unfaithful spouse – often the husband – finally comes clean. He unloads decades of secrets, and suddenly his prison of guilt and shame cracks open. Freedom hits him like a wave of hope.   But for the wife? Those same words shatter her world. She’s left carrying the weight he shed, and now she’s trapped in her own prison of grief, betrayal, and isolation. One heart soars; the other plummets.   So what now? How do you navigate this as a couple committed to Christ?   Join us for this raw and candid conversation about our experience with this unfair paradox.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free! 💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 124. From Hurt to Hope Through Rigorous Honesty Episode 92. Dying to Self: Transformational Moments in Recovery from Sexual Betrayal   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

    38 min
  8. JAN 26

    142 | Level Up Your Honesty After Sexual Betrayal

    Is honesty just as simple as telling the truth, or is there more to it?   We are going to unpack that question to reveal some nuances of truth telling that some may not have considered before.   But isn’t truth, truth?   Yes, truth is always truth, but what we’ve discovered through our own healing journey is that inside of the practice of telling the truth, there are layers that are not necessarily obvious.   Today’s topic is not exclusive to the step-by-step process of Full Therapeutic Disclosure, but it is an important foundation for all marriages working to recover from sexual betrayal.   Join us today to learn how to level up your honesty.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free! 💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 124. 124 | From Hurt to Hope Through Rigorous Honesty Episode 92. Dying to Self: Transformational Moments in Recovery from Sexual Betrayal   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

    27 min
4.9
out of 5
147 Ratings

About

***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!

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