Beyond Success

David Tian
  • 5.0 (28)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Are you a high achiever who's worked hard, found success, but still feels like something's missing? Do you wonder what the point of it all is, and long for deeper meaning or love in your life? Welcome to "Beyond Success," the podcast for high achievers seeking fulfillment, happiness, and true purpose. I'm David Tian, Ph.D., Leadership Coach, Certified IFS Therapy Practitioner (Level 3), and a former university professor. I'm also a proud father and husband. I bring two decades of experience, expertise, and a passion for helping others to each episode, delivering transformational insights and breakthroughs. Join us each week for deep explorations that will challenge your perspective, inspire personal growth, and guide you toward a more fulfilling life. Whether you're striving for personal or professional excellence, "Beyond Success" offers the tools, methods, and strategies to help you find your way. Tune in every week for practical wisdom that can lead to real change. If you're ready to move beyond mere success and discover what truly makes life worth living, this podcast is for you. If you enjoy the podcast, would you consider leaving a short review on Apple iTunes Podcasts? I really appreciate your feedback and love reading the reviews! For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

  1. #75: The Orientation Gap: When Success Stops Organizing Your Life

    1D AGO

    #75: The Orientation Gap: When Success Stops Organizing Your Life

    Success and achievement aren't just some kind of psychological trick or a shallow distraction. They're actually a way to make sense of the uncertainty of life, narrow your options of choices, and shape distracted energy into focused action.  In this way, success and achievement work perfectly. They take you from the fog of uncertainty and grant you the life you always wanted.  Problem is, it's disorienting and confusing after you become successful because it can no longer order your priorities in the way it did before you tasted success yourself. This is why it feels like a mid-life crisis, being burnt out, losing your edge, or judging yourself for not being as appreciative of your success as you think you should be.  But it's NOT some kind of personal failure or character defect. Instead, it's something called the "Orientation Gap." You enter this Orientation Gap when success no longer gives you structure (which is normal once you achieve the success you originally set out for).  When you enter the Orientation Gap, it's your emotions trying to urge you to reorder your priorities based on your new life. But it feels so unproductive and backwards to the way you approach life, that you risk never closing this gap - a mistake most high achievers make.  But by listening to this episode, you'll understand how to close the Orientation Gap and rediscover the pure joy that's waiting for you.  Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why do so many successful people feel empty after achieving their goals and how can you prevent this pervasive emptiness? (0:17) How ambition allows you to relate to uncertainty in a healthier way (and why this very fact also leads to the "ambition trap" that erodes your self-confidence) (5:50)  The internal machinations that happen after success that make you feel disoriented and lost instead of liberated and free (10:54)  Why being in the middle of the "Orientation Gap" is NOT a personal failure (even though it feels this way to your nervous system) (12:02)  What is usually happening beneath your awareness if you assume you're burnt out, worry that you've lost your "edge," or start beating yourself up because you're not as grateful for your success as you ought to be (13:06)  The single biggest mistake to make in the Orientation Gap that can forever imprison you into feeling like you're in a mid-life crisis (16:30)  3 things you must re-order deliberately and consciously otherwise you'll never close the Orientation Gap (and why your mind will try to fight against this re-ordering) (24:28)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you've crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you've built the life you thought you wanted, yet there's still something important missing. I've put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what's really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It's fast. It's practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz

    29 min
  2. #74: Moral Value vs. Market Value: Why a Clear Conscience Outperforms Success

    FEB 6

    #74: Moral Value vs. Market Value: Why a Clear Conscience Outperforms Success

    There are several costs you're forced to pay when you treat moral value as optional.  First, it tricks you into commoditizing yourself. Relationships become shallow and transaction-based. Fulfillment disappears. Low-grade tension replaces it.  Next, your mind tricks you into the denial trap. Deep sleep becomes a long-forgotten memory. Your dreams become lighter (if they're still there at all). And your mind is constantly "on edge," never able to relax.  Then, the hidden costs start emerging. Low-grade guilt and toxic shame. But it's not dramatic. It's a subtle, ongoing strain that suffocates any feelings of deep peace, real rest, and carefree joy.  You might get hits of these feelings, but they never last.  Here's the good news:  There is a way back, but you won't like it. Only through cultivating your moral value can you rediscover the feelings of deep peace, real rest, and carefree joy.  It won't be easy. But the alternative - where you gradually let this low-grade tension overwhelm your nervous system, steal all of your joy, and deprive you of fulfillment - is far worse. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The psychological resistance highly intelligent and successful people face when confronted with moral questions (and why you need morality to relax your nervous system) (1:32)  How smart, successful, and decent people get lost in their own denial and self-sabotage their life (5:09)  The real reason behind why you can't fall asleep at night, your dreams are lighter, and peace of mind is always out of your grasp (6:41)  A strange, yet scientifically verified reason why the smarter you are, the more likely you are to fall into the denial trap. (This also explains why intelligent people join cults.) (8:10)  The #1 most common fear of high achievers. (If you're quick to compare, feel constant pressure, or desire acceptance… you likely have this fear.) (9:30)  How success morphs into a shield for your own toxic shame that you've buried (9:51)  What happens subtly and under the surface of your awareness when your mind learns that your market value IS your value (21:43)  The society-wide conditioning (first uncovered by a German psychologist in the 20th century) that's happening to you right now and explains why you lack self-worth (24:16)  Are you trading your happiness for busyness and productivity? Most high-achievers make this deal without realizing it… here's how to void this contract (26:28)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you've crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you've built the life you thought you wanted, yet there's still something important missing. I've put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what's really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It's fast. It's practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz

    44 min

  3. FEB 3

    On Returning to Audio Format

    Hello Listeners -  I'm taking the podcast back to its roots as an audio-only, more improvisational show after experimenting with tightly scripted video episodes on YouTube. The new (old) format gives me more freedom to think out loud, follow ideas where they go, and focus on depth and voice over visuals. Warmly, David Tian, Ph.D.

    4 min
  4. #73: Why Certainty Is Undermining Your Judgment

    JAN 30

    #73: Why Certainty Is Undermining Your Judgment

    Most smart people reach for values when they're under a lot of pressure or stress. It feels responsible. Grounded. Mature. But under pressure, values often do the opposite of what they're meant to do. Instead of anchoring thinking, they shut it down. Instead of sharpening judgment, they end the inquiry. Certainty replaces contact with reality, and the relief that follows feels like clarity, even when it isn't. This pattern didn't come from nowhere. You learned early that sounding sure keeps you safe. Speed earns trust. Confidence gets rewarded. That lesson helped you win, but it also trained your mind to prefer certainty over accuracy. The cost shows up later. Judgment narrows too early. Tradeoffs disappear. And when the first warning signs appear, most high achievers respond by pushing harder and acting faster, which deepens the problem instead of correcting it. In this episode, I explain how this pattern forms, why it's especially common among smart, capable people, and how values can silently become a sedative for thinking. You'll learn how to tell whether your values are helping you see more clearly or helping discomfort go away, and what restores contact with reality when pressure is running the show. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The strange and destructive way reaching for certainty too soon degrades your decision making (2:19) How "Premature Epistemic Closure" (a wicked pattern that affects thoughtful and responsible people) narrows your thinking and cuts off your judgement (3:51) Why your mind enters a zombie-like state when it's faced with uncertainty (5:54) The psychological reason your mind learns to conflate certainty with safety (and how this keeps you on alert and under pressure at all times) (8:49) What to do if you notice a tightening in your body, a sense of being on the hook, or the feeling that time is running out (These are all early warning signs that your values are replacing your thoughts) (11:24) How the very tools you've relied on to help you think morph into the very tools that shut down thinking completely (19:32) The "Clarity Trap Tragedy" effect that distorts your judgement and severs your ties to reality (and why slowing down, not speeding up, is the antidote) (23:30) The danger in choosing value under pressure that nobody ever talks about (25:49) For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you've crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you've built the life you thought you wanted, yet there's still something important missing. I've put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what's really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It's fast. It's practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz

    32 min
  5. #72: No, Everybody Doesn't Have Their Own Truth

    JAN 23

    #72: No, Everybody Doesn't Have Their Own Truth

    Relativism has a seductive force behind it. It offers you short-term relief for your problems - internally, relationally, and professionally. And the worst part is that it works. For a while anyway.  But relativist thinking also comes with a brutal, long-term cost:  It separates you from reality! This separation is subtle. Most don't realize it until the consequences can't be ignored - and that takes a while. And perhaps the hardest thing to wrap your head around is that it becomes more alluring the smarter you are.  In fact, this loss of calibration with reality uses your own intelligence against you! And it all starts from a simple assumption: Everyone has their own truth.  The good news is that it's possible to free yourself from this slow and inevitable fracture from reality. But it won't be easy.   In today's episode, you'll discover how relativism separates you from reality, why it's more tempting the more intelligent you are, and the one question you must answer to realign yourself with reality again.   Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: How to better discern reality from the narrative stories your mind feeds you (This one mistake ends marriages, chokeholds growth, and turns stress up - learn how to avoid making it at) (1:45)   The innocent, yet deadly mistake of thinking that truth is relative (and why it slowly wrings the life out of you) (3:47)  A cognitive safeguard that disappears from your cognitive toolkit the very second you believe that truth is relative (7:05) The strange reason the most intelligent people are the most susceptible to the "Perverted Truth" mind virus that slowly distorts reality (7:24)  Why your growing confidence might actually be a hidden threat (8:50)  How short-term pressure-relief strategies work at first, but then fester underneath the surface waiting to explode (15:00)  How clarity fades without obvious warning signs (and how to spot when you're in this process sooner to avoid complete collapse) (19:03)  One question (that's not sexy or dramatic) to help pull yourself out of the loss of calibration that happens when judgment degrades (21:46)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you've crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you've built the life you thought you wanted, yet there's still something important missing. I've put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what's really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It's fast. It's practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz

    29 min
  6. #71: The Tragedy of Achievement: How Success Undermines Judgment

    JAN 16

    #71: The Tragedy of Achievement: How Success Undermines Judgment

    A tragedy occurs when you reach a certain level of achievement: The mind starts to reorder itself for destruction instead of growth.  Worst part? This happens so subtly that it goes completely unnoticed… until it's too late. As achievements accumulate, decision quality erodes. Feedback arrives later and later, so mistakes don't get corrected. They get built into systems and culture. By the time the error becomes clear, reversing it is costly or impossible. That's the bad news. The good news? There's a simple (but not easy) solution to this… but you might not like it because it forces you to finally slow down. And, the unfortunate reality is that this becomes far harder after success.  When you let your true values guide you (instead of letting achievement become your governing value), you can avoid the fatal consequences that success brings. Again, it won't be easy - but it's the ONLY way to recover from the Tragedy of Achievement.  That's what you'll learn how to do in today's show.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: The "Lost Ship" trap that explains the subtle way success corrupts your decision making (0:30)  How success tricks you into co-opting your values and quietly distorting them (2:10)  The insidious, step-by-step way that achievement reorders the mind (without your realizing it) (3:38)  3 distortions that happen in your mind when you value achievement too much (and how each of these distortions plant the seeds of destruction - personally, professionally, and emotionally (5:35)  Why intelligent and principled (but successful) people drift away from their values without even noticing until they're smacked in the face by a mid-life crisis (7:29)  How treating values like courage, compassion, and integrity as "ethical decoration" instead of the key to growth in every aspect of your life is the single biggest mistake high achievers make (8:39)  Why losing playfulness fills you with a deep sense of humiliation and shame that results in developing blind spots that create more damage (15:09)  The cold, hard truth about why the most dangerous mistakes are made by people who move too fast (not people who hesitate too much) (18:43)  How experience only not only fails to protect against misjudgment, but in many cases, it actually makes it WORSE (20:38)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you've crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you've built the life you thought you wanted, yet there's still something important missing. I've put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what's really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It's fast. It's practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz

    25 min
  7. #70: How Power Distorts What You Notice

    JAN 9

    #70: How Power Distorts What You Notice

    There's a pattern that's so ingrained in the human psyche that Ancient Daoism noticed it long before psychology had language for cognition. It's a pattern that sneaks up on almost every high achiever who tastes enough success. And it subtly erodes your judgement and strangles your emotional intelligence without your realizing.  Worst part? The more intelligent you are, the faster your mind crumbles your judgement.  And while this pattern doesn't usually cause immediate failure, it can lead to something far worse down the road.  Here's the good news: In today's show, you'll discover exactly how this pattern works, how it uses your own intelligence against you, why your instincts about how to solve aren't only wrong (but actually the exact opposite way to restore judgment), and how your emotions are your ultimate weapon against this insidious pattern.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: The counterintuitive way success trains your mind to slowly degrade your judgement (2:24)  How the mind under domination feels like progress and clarity (even though it's silently unplugging all your decision-making wires) (7:06)  A step-by-step explanation of how judgement degrades without your noticing it (this pattern is so ingrained in the human psyche that Ancient Daoism noticed it long before psychology had language for cognition) (8:31)  Why the same disruption that can make billion dollar corporations collapse is probably happening inside your body right now (10:30)   How your intelligence works against you in the crumbling of your judgement (especially if it seems like your intelligence is protecting you) (14:13)  The psychological reason behind why some of the smartest and most successful people are the most miserable (14:32)  Why your "maturity" is holding you back from growth in your career, closer relationships, and a deeper sense of fulfillment (18:15)  How your instincts betray your growth (and what to do to "outsmart" your instincts) (22:31)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you've crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you've built the life you thought you wanted, yet there's still something important missing. I've put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what's really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It's fast. It's practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz

    26 min
  8. #69: How Success Degrades Clarity & Judgment

    JAN 2

    #69: How Success Degrades Clarity & Judgment

    When you're just starting out in your career, the feedback loop is crystal clear. There's a cause and effect to your actions that lead to instantaneous rewards or consequences.  But the more success you achieve, the more muddled this signal becomes.  And the more distorted your signal, the more stressed and burnt out you become… while your confidence and self-esteem slowly evaporate.  Here's the worst part: A muddled signal is a sign from your internal environment that it needs a software update. But it's sneaky - fear disguises itself as prudence and internal consequences are delayed from your external world. And so, you push harder, exert more effort, and fall deeper into this vicious cycle.  But there's a better way…  In today's show, you'll discover why your signal becomes so muddled, how success exacerbates the distortion, and why cleaning your signal and gaining clarity requires a completely different approach to what you're doing now.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: The insidious "Degraded Clarity" trap that sneaks up on you and slowly spoils your success (and why most people don't even notice it) (1:23)  Have you silently watched your sense of ease vanish and get replaced with frustration? Here's the psychology behind why this happens, why it's more common than you think, and what you can do about it (2:47)  The "Tyranny of Metrics" mishap that happens between the external and internal world - and why this explains why your results can lead to peace and serenity (3:38)   The dark side of success nobody talks about (and only a select few actually understand) that undermines your judgment (4:44) What romanticizing the "Garage Phase" of your career means on a psychological and emotional level. (Ignoring this "shot across the bow" can teach your mind the exact opposite lesson.) (7:13)  How adapting to your environment dulls your career trajectory (even though the ability to adapt is a good and natural skill) (8:57)  Why internal constraints - not skill, effort, stress, or ambition - are the culprit behind hitting the invisible "upper limit" of growth (11:02)  How fear LARPs as prudence, experience, and even wisdom (15:52)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you've crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you've built the life you thought you wanted, yet there's still something important missing. I've put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what's really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It's fast. It's practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz

    26 min
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About

Are you a high achiever who's worked hard, found success, but still feels like something's missing? Do you wonder what the point of it all is, and long for deeper meaning or love in your life? Welcome to "Beyond Success," the podcast for high achievers seeking fulfillment, happiness, and true purpose. I'm David Tian, Ph.D., Leadership Coach, Certified IFS Therapy Practitioner (Level 3), and a former university professor. I'm also a proud father and husband. I bring two decades of experience, expertise, and a passion for helping others to each episode, delivering transformational insights and breakthroughs. Join us each week for deep explorations that will challenge your perspective, inspire personal growth, and guide you toward a more fulfilling life. Whether you're striving for personal or professional excellence, "Beyond Success" offers the tools, methods, and strategies to help you find your way. Tune in every week for practical wisdom that can lead to real change. If you're ready to move beyond mere success and discover what truly makes life worth living, this podcast is for you. If you enjoy the podcast, would you consider leaving a short review on Apple iTunes Podcasts? I really appreciate your feedback and love reading the reviews! For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Information

  • Creator
    David Tian
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2021-2026
  • Show Website
    Beyond Success