Climbing Fish Parenting

Dr. Kristi Clarke
  • 4.9 (9)
  • Parenting

Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes, we're just asking our fish to climb trees. If you're an exhausted parent who's tried everything and nothing has worked—this podcast is for you. You're carrying guilt about your parenting. Your child's behaviors don't respond to the typical strategies. The advice from books, friends, and even professionals just... doesn't fit. Here's what I need you to know: You're not failing. You're just using the wrong map. I'm Dr. Kristi, a psychologist and behavior analyst, and I help parents understand their child's unique wiring and use strategies that actually work. Whether your child has a diagnosis or you just know they're wired differently—whether it's ADHD, ASD, anxiety, sensory sensitivities, or they're just... not like the parenting books describe—this is for you. No fluff. No shame. Just practical, evidence-based guidance from someone who gets it. Each episode gives you real strategies for real challenges—meltdowns, school struggles, bedtime battles, and everything in between. This is where we stop asking fish to climb trees and start helping them swim.

  1. 1d ago

    Why Pool Days Keep Ending in Meltdowns (Even the Fun Ones)

    Two families, same neighborhood pool, same Saturday afternoon. One leaves after about forty minutes — daughter smiling, a little sun-pink, tired in the good way. The other stays the full four hours and leaves in a complete meltdown, son sobbing in the parking lot, nobody quite sure what went wrong. If you'd only seen them arrive, you'd have guessed it would go the other way. In this episode: Why "more fun time" doesn't equal "better day" for a lot of wired-differently kids What's actually loading up during a pool or beach day — sensory input, unpredictable other kids, water vigilance, temperature shifts How this plays out differently depending on whether your child is ADHD, autistic, or anxious How to pick an exit point in advance instead of waiting for signs of trouble The problem was never the pool. It was the dose — and the families who leave happy are reading the tank, not the clock. Resources mentioned: climbingfishparenting.com/newsletter

  2. 1d ago ·  Bonus

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  3. Jul 27

    Supported Momentum — Why Small Wins Build Big Confidence

    A dad spent three weekends trying to get his daughter to jump off the diving board — "just do it, you'll see it's fine" — and three weekends of tears. What actually worked was smaller than anything he'd tried: sitting on the edge with her feet in the water. By the fourth weekend, she jumped on her own. Often, parents think tiny steps are making it too easy, but that is the key to finally making it possible. In this episode: Why pushing straight at a big fear tends to build failure instead of confidence for a lot of wired-differently kids What actually has to be true for a "small step" to function as a real win instead of a smaller version of the same struggle Why two families can both try "small steps" and come out with completely different results How repeated attempts, good or bad, quietly become a story a child believes about their own capability Confidence was never going to come from one big leap — it gets built the same way everything else does, one small, real, supported win at a time. Resources mentioned: climbingfishparenting.com/wiredtofeel (parent led emotion regulation program)

  4. Jul 20

    Stop fixing the child. Start reading the tide.

    Two moms, same friend group, same parenting workshop, same exact tool — a five-step sticker chart with a small reward at the end of the week. One family used it for three weeks and mornings actually got easier. The other used it for four days before it fell apart completely, more conflict than before they'd started. Same chart. Same follow-through. Completely different result. In this episode: What actually determines whether a parenting strategy works or fails — and it's rarely the strategy itself Why a strategy can work beautifully one week and completely fail the next, for the same child How to stop concluding "something's wrong with my kid" or "I'm doing this wrong" when a strategy doesn't land A simple one-question check to run before reaching for a new strategy Your kid isn't the problem, and neither was the last strategy that didn't work — nobody was looking at what was actually happening underneath it. Resources mentioned: climbingfishparenting.com/quiz (free 2-minute quiz to find your child's pattern)

  5. Jul 13

    Vacation Meltdowns: Why Time Off Doesn't Feel Like a Break for Kids who are Wired Differently

    It's day two of the trip you've been planning for months. Ocean house, grandparents, a countdown your kid had on their wall — and now they're on the floor, sobbing, over which beach towel they got. Not a preference. A full meltdown. Over a towel. In this episode: Why "keep the routine the same" doesn't actually work as vacation advice, and what to ask instead The four things — predictability, autonomy, sensory sameness, downtime — that quietly disappear the moment you leave home How this shows up differently for ADHD, autistic, and anxious kids on the exact same trip A short before-you-go exercise to protect the one thing your kid actually needs most Your kid wasn't failing to enjoy the vacation. Something specific was holding their day together at home, and nobody packed a replacement for it. Resources mentioned: climbingfishparenting.com/newsletter

  6. Jul 6

    Why Some Kids Implode and Others Explode

    Two kids. Same overwhelm, same stress, sometimes even the same diagnosis. And somehow one of them is loud about it, and the other one disappears. In this episode, Dr. Kristi breaks down why the exact same struggle can produce two completely different-looking kids — and why it has nothing to do with which one is "doing better." Drawing on a real case of two brothers with identical diagnoses and opposite presentations, she introduces the psychological framework of internalizing and externalizing behavior: two directions the same overwhelm can travel, and why one of those directions is so much easier to miss. You'll learn: Why the "quiet, easy" kid may be carrying just as much as the one causing all the phone calls home What the research actually shows about internalizing and externalizing in autistic and ADHD kids — and where that research is often misread Why a child's direction isn't fixed, and how the same kid can shift between the two depending on the day, the setting, or what else is going on at home What to actually do differently for a child who explodes outward versus one who goes silent Resources in this episode: Why Your Child Can't Just Calm Down, Dr. Kristi's free video training, now live at climbingfishparenting.com/calm.

  7. Jun 29

    The Skill Nobody's Born With

    A dad spends an entire summer teaching his son to ride a bike — holding the seat, running alongside, letting him wobble. Two weeks later, he's in the kitchen telling that same kid to "just calm down" during a meltdown over a broken cookie, with none of that same patience or teaching. No scaffolding. Just an instruction, expected to land on its own. In this episode: Why emotion regulation is a built skill, not something a child either has or doesn't have The three separate components a child's brain has to build to calm down: noticing escalation, pausing before reacting, and having a tool ready to use How this gap shows up differently for ADHD, autistic, and anxious kids, and why that matters for what to actually teach Concrete ways to start building the skill this week, including practicing the pause when nothing's wrong and building a visible toolbox before the storm hits Your kid isn't broken, and neither is your parenting — the skill just isn't finished being built yet. Resources mentioned: Why Your Kid Can't Calm Down — free training opens July 6 at  www.climbingfishparenting.com/products

  8. Jun 22

    Why Your Teen's Reactions Feel So Much Bigger Than the Moment

    "You don't even like spending time with me." That's what came back after a mom asked her sixteen-year-old for one thing: text me when you get there. One line. Four seconds. And somehow it turned into a conversation about whether they'd ever have a good relationship. In this episode: -Why a request this small can detonate into something that feels like a referendum on the whole relationship -The brain science behind it — a reward system that peaks mid-adolescence, paired with a braking system that's still years from finished -Why this hits an ADHD or autistic teen's reactions even harder, and what's actually different underneath it -The one move to make in the moment, and the repair conversation to have afterward that actually builds frustration tolerance instead of just ending the fight The size of the reaction was real. It just wasn't about the text. Resources mentioned: climbingfishparenting.com/quiz  Learn more about your kid's brain profile.

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4.9
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About

Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes, we're just asking our fish to climb trees. If you're an exhausted parent who's tried everything and nothing has worked—this podcast is for you. You're carrying guilt about your parenting. Your child's behaviors don't respond to the typical strategies. The advice from books, friends, and even professionals just... doesn't fit. Here's what I need you to know: You're not failing. You're just using the wrong map. I'm Dr. Kristi, a psychologist and behavior analyst, and I help parents understand their child's unique wiring and use strategies that actually work. Whether your child has a diagnosis or you just know they're wired differently—whether it's ADHD, ASD, anxiety, sensory sensitivities, or they're just... not like the parenting books describe—this is for you. No fluff. No shame. Just practical, evidence-based guidance from someone who gets it. Each episode gives you real strategies for real challenges—meltdowns, school struggles, bedtime battles, and everything in between. This is where we stop asking fish to climb trees and start helping them swim.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Kristi Clarke
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    47
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    Climbing Fish Parenting