Climbing Fish Parenting

Dr. Kristi Clarke
  • 4.9 (9)
  • Parenting

Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes, we're just asking our fish to climb trees. If you're an exhausted parent who's tried everything and nothing has worked—this podcast is for you. You're carrying guilt about your parenting. Your child's behaviors don't respond to the typical strategies. The advice from books, friends, and even professionals just... doesn't fit. Here's what I need you to know: You're not failing. You're just using the wrong map. I'm Dr. Kristi, a psychologist and behavior analyst, and I help parents understand their child's unique wiring and use strategies that actually work. Whether your child has a diagnosis or you just know they're wired differently—whether it's ADHD, ASD, anxiety, sensory sensitivities, or they're just... not like the parenting books describe—this is for you. No fluff. No shame. Just practical, evidence-based guidance from someone who gets it. Each episode gives you real strategies for real challenges—meltdowns, school struggles, bedtime battles, and everything in between. This is where we stop asking fish to climb trees and start helping them swim.

  1. 19h ago

    Why Your Teen's Reactions Feel So Much Bigger Than the Moment

    "You don't even like spending time with me." That's what came back after a mom asked her sixteen-year-old for one thing: text me when you get there. One line. Four seconds. And somehow it turned into a conversation about whether they'd ever have a good relationship. In this episode: -Why a request this small can detonate into something that feels like a referendum on the whole relationship -The brain science behind it — a reward system that peaks mid-adolescence, paired with a braking system that's still years from finished -Why this hits an ADHD or autistic teen's reactions even harder, and what's actually different underneath it -The one move to make in the moment, and the repair conversation to have afterward that actually builds frustration tolerance instead of just ending the fight The size of the reaction was real. It just wasn't about the text. Resources mentioned: climbingfishparenting.com/quiz  Learn more about your kid's brain profile.

    19 min
  2. You Might Also Like: The Viall Files

    20h ago ·  Bonus

    You Might Also Like: The Viall Files

    Introducing E1144 - Beatriz Talks CRAZY Love Island Drama, The Summer House Bonus Episode Breakdown from The Viall Files. Follow the show: The Viall Files Welcome back to The Viall Files: Reality Recap! So… that Summer House bonus episode was… certainly filled with a lot of words! Any of them true? We'll get to it. Before that discussion, however, the one and only Beatriz stops by to get into EVERYTHING Love Island USA Season 8. How was her time at the villa? What's up with Melanie and Sincere? Does she know she's beloved? All that, and more! "You know what? He knows where to find me." Nick is on Substack! Subscribe here: https://nickviall.substack.com/subscribe HEY! YOU! DO YOU NEED DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE? Email asknick@theviallfiles.com and be a part of future Ask Nick episodes! Want ad free episodes and incredible bonus content? Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ Subscribe to The ENVY Media Newsletter Today: https://www.viallfiles.com/newsletter To Order Nick's Book and/or learn more about the show, go to: https://viallfiles.com THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Helix Sleep: Go to https://helixsleep.com/viall for 20% off Sitewide, 25% off Luxe Mattresses, and 30% off Elite Mattresses. Nutrafol: Right now, when you buy any Nutrafol Men hair growth supplement subscription, you get two free gifts — a full-size 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner plus a hair serum, a $93 value — plus 20% off a subscription. Take advantage of this great deal at https://nutrafol.com Minky Couture: Visit https://minkycouture.com and use code VIALL at checkout for 50% off all full priced blankets. Shipstation: The sooner you switch, the sooner you start saving time and money. Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at https://shipstation.com, with code viall. Rakuten: Join for free at https://rakuten.com or download the Rakuten app to start saving money today. David Protein: Head to Walmart today to try a bar or stock up on 4CTs of your favorite flavors, like Blueberry Pie and Salted Peanut Butter, sold exclusively at Walmart. To advertise on this podcast please email: ad-sales@libsyn.com or go to: https://advertising.libsyn.com/theviallfiles Timestamps: 00:00 - Intro 05:00 - Bea Joins 22:19 - Love Island 58:54 - Summer House 01:14:42 - Outro Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @nnataliejjoy @bhatz_track @ciaracrobinson @susiecevans @justinkaphillips @baybaeee DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to team@podroll.fm.

  3. Jun 15

    "I'm Bored": What Your Neurodivergent Kid Is Actually Telling You

    You've pointed at the Lego bin. You've listed the options. You've suggested the thing they asked for three weeks ago. And they're still standing there looking at you like you are personally responsible for the problem. "I'm bored" — and it's not even July yet. In this episode: Why the school environment was quietly functioning as an external executive functioning system — and why removing it is a bigger neurological disruption than it looks Why an understimulated brain actually becomes less able to retrieve stored options from working memory, not more — and what to do instead of suggesting activities on the spot How to build an activity list with your child that removes the retrieval demand entirely, and how to layer a personalized challenge around it that works with how dopamine actually functions in neurodivergent brains A specific in-the-moment sequence for the next time you hear "I'm bored" — including why not solving it immediately is part of what shifts the pattern Once you understand what "I'm bored" is actually communicating, it stops feeling like a complaint and starts feeling like information. That's when you can actually do something useful with it. Resources mentioned: climbingfishparenting.com/newsletter

    18 min

  4. Jun 8

    Summer Q&A: Chores That Never Get Done, House Rules That Aren't Sticking, and Yes — Whether Your Kid Actually Needs to Shower

    School is out — and suddenly you're realizing your kid has no idea how to set the table, hasn't showered since Tuesday, and is tracking mud through the kitchen for the fourteenth time this week. Summer doesn't create new problems. It reveals the ones that were always there, quietly held up by structures that are now gone. In this episode: Why chores that seemed manageable during the school year suddenly fall apart — and how to identify which specific executive function step is getting in the way Why house rules stop working the moment kids are on autopilot, and why redesigning the moment beats restating the rule Common reasons kids resist showering in summer — sensory discomfort, time blindness, initiation struggles — and strategies for each There's a gap between knowing the rule and applying it in context. That gap responds to environmental design, not repeated reminders. Resources mentioned: climbingfishparenting.com/newsletter

    19 min

  5. Jun 1

    The Child Only You Know

    You've been in that room. The parent-teacher conference. The conversation with the coach or the family member who loves your child and is still somehow describing a person you don't quite recognize. And you sat there, nodding, holding it together, thinking: that's not my kid. That's a version of my kid. But it's not the whole thing. This episode is about why the picture you're carrying is more clinically valuable than anyone has ever told you — and why getting a map for it doesn't add to your load. It makes what you're already carrying lighter. In this episode: Why parent and teacher ratings of the same child correlate at only 0.30 — and what that number actually means for what you've been seeing at home Why the gap between who your child is at school and who they are with you is not inconsistency — it's the most important data you have What the assessment literature says about parent report that nobody has ever said to your face Why doing this without a map is costing you more than you realize — and what changes when you finally have one Plus: a story about a driver's ed instructor who wrote my daughter off on day one — and what happened by the end. By the end of this episode, you'll understand why you are not the less objective observer. You are the broadest one. And that changes everything. 🔗 Free live training — When Everyone Else Says Your Kid Is Fine: climbingfishparenting.com/webinar

    14 min

  6. May 25

    Why Your Teenager Holds It Together All Day — And What That's Actually Costing Them

    The shower drain kept clogging. They used Draino. They snaked it themselves. They called a plumber. Nobody connected it to their daughter. And then a mom went to smooth her daughter's comforter. And saw a clump of hair on the pillow. That pause — before she fully understood what she was looking at — is where this episode begins. Because a lot of parents of teenagers are living in some version of that pause right now. Something is slightly off. The bedroom door is always closed. The headaches every Sunday evening. The grumpiness that sleep doesn't fix. The tears without obvious cause. This episode is about what you might be looking at when you pause. And why it's more predictable — and more readable — than it feels. In this episode: The spectrum of what holding-it-together looks like when it starts to spill — from the subtle signs to the more serious ones, and why all of it is the same thing wearing different clothes Why teenagers know they're struggling in a way younger kids often don't — and what that self-awareness costs them What Brené Brown's research on shame tells us about the wall of anger you get when you see something your teenager didn't want you to see The one thing to try this week that isn't a confrontation, a system, or a conversation you've been dreading A note on the research: most of what we know comes from studies done primarily on male children. If your teenager isn't male or doesn't fit the textbook presentation — I talk about that gap in this episode. If you are worried about your child right now: climbingfishparenting.com/resources. If it is a crisis, please seek crisis support immediately. 🔗 Don't miss what's coming: climbingfishparenting.com

    17 min

  7. May 18

    The Child Who Saves Their Worst for You

    You pick them up from school and the teacher says it was a great day. The report is good. By every external measure — fine. And then you get to the parking lot.  Or the dinner table. Or the moment the front door closes and the backpack hits the floor. And the child who held it together all day is suddenly a completely different kid. And you're standing there wondering what you did wrong — or whether something is wrong with them — or how the same child can be so different depending on where they are. Nothing is wrong with them. And nothing is wrong with you. What you're watching is information. And this episode is about learning to read it. In this episode: Why the hardest moment of the day is almost never school — and what that tells you about what your child's day is actually costing them What Russell Barkley's longitudinal research tells us about why the crash comes after — not during — and why that pattern is more predictable than it feels What the research on masking shows us about the effort behind "fine" — and why that effort has to land somewhere Why your child saves their worst for you — and why that is evidence of your relationship, not a failure of your parenting Resources mentioned:🔗 Make sure you're on the newsletter list so you don't miss what's coming next: climbingfishparenting.com

    13 min

  8. May 10

    What Mother's Day Showed You (That Nobody Else Could See)

    Mother's Day doesn't always look like the pictures. Sometimes it looks like a meltdown in the parking lot. Sometimes it looks like an hour finally to yourself that you spent thinking about your kid anyway. Sometimes it looks like buying the card yourself the night before and signing your child's name — because you knew it wasn't going to happen otherwise, and you didn't want there to be nothing on the table in the morning. If any of that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. In this episode: Why the attempt to make the day special can be the thing that makes the day hard — and what routine disruption actually costs a wired-differently child's nervous system The invisible labor of Mother's Day that nobody talks about — including the emotional work of making your own celebration possible Why your child held it together for everyone else and fell apart with you — and what that dynamic actually means about your relationship The quiet that didn't feel like rest — and why your nervous system doesn't have an off switch just because your child left the room The weight of complicated feelings about your own mother, your mother-in-law, and the people who handled your child just fine and made you wonder, just for a second, if you've been overcomplicating things The reframe that changes how you carry yesterday — and every hard day that came before it By the end of this episode, you'll feel less alone in whatever Mother's Day actually was — and you'll have a different way of seeing what it means to be the safe place for a child who is wired differently. Resources mentioned: Child Profile Quiz: www.climbingfishparenting.com/quiz

    21 min
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Trailer

4.9
out of 5
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About

Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes, we're just asking our fish to climb trees. If you're an exhausted parent who's tried everything and nothing has worked—this podcast is for you. You're carrying guilt about your parenting. Your child's behaviors don't respond to the typical strategies. The advice from books, friends, and even professionals just... doesn't fit. Here's what I need you to know: You're not failing. You're just using the wrong map. I'm Dr. Kristi, a psychologist and behavior analyst, and I help parents understand their child's unique wiring and use strategies that actually work. Whether your child has a diagnosis or you just know they're wired differently—whether it's ADHD, ASD, anxiety, sensory sensitivities, or they're just... not like the parenting books describe—this is for you. No fluff. No shame. Just practical, evidence-based guidance from someone who gets it. Each episode gives you real strategies for real challenges—meltdowns, school struggles, bedtime battles, and everything in between. This is where we stop asking fish to climb trees and start helping them swim.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Kristi Clarke
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    41
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    Climbing Fish Parenting

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