Climbing Fish Parenting

Dr. Kristi Clarke
  • 4.9 (9)
  • PARENTING

Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes, we're just asking our fish to climb trees. If you're an exhausted parent who's tried everything and nothing has worked—this podcast is for you. You're carrying guilt about your parenting. Your child's behaviors don't respond to the typical strategies. The advice from books, friends, and even professionals just... doesn't fit. Here's what I need you to know: You're not failing. You're just using the wrong map. I'm Dr. Kristi, a psychologist and behavior analyst, and I help parents understand their child's unique wiring and use strategies that actually work. Whether your child has a diagnosis or you just know they're wired differently—whether it's ADHD, ASD, anxiety, sensory sensitivities, or they're just... not like the parenting books describe—this is for you. No fluff. No shame. Just practical, evidence-based guidance from someone who gets it. Each episode gives you real strategies for real challenges—meltdowns, school struggles, bedtime battles, and everything in between. This is where we stop asking fish to climb trees and start helping them swim.

  1. 2D AGO

    Why Traditional Morning Routine Charts Fail Kids Wired Differently

    If you've created a beautiful visual schedule—laminated cards, Velcro, pictures for every step—and your child is still melting down every morning, wandering off mid-routine, or standing in their underwear twenty minutes after being told to get dressed, I need you to hear this: That chart isn't failing because you did something wrong. It's failing because visual schedules are step three of a process, and everyone told you they were step one. In this episode, you'll discover: Why visual schedules are reminder systems, not teaching tools (and why that distinction changes everything) The fifteen hidden skills required just to "get dressed"—and why your child isn't being defiant when they can't do it independently The critical difference between a skill deficit and a performance deficit (and why misidentifying this sets everyone up for failure) The three-step process that actually builds morning routine skills that stick Why traditional parenting advice skips the two most important steps—and how to fill in those gaps A real-life example of transforming a forty-two-step disaster into a routine that actually works By the end of this episode, you'll understand exactly why that beautiful chart isn't working and what actually needs to happen before visual schedules can help. Resources mentioned:  Sign up for the newsletter at www.climbingfishparenting.com for this week's exclusive framework that will help you know exactly when your child is ready for step three. Plus, mark your calendar for the live training on February 19th and 21st where Dr. Kristi will walk you through building morning routine skills that actually stick—with step-by-step implementation for YOUR child's specific challenges. Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes we're just asking our fish to climb trees. That's what we fix here.

    16 min
  2. You Might Also Like: Raising Us: A Parenting Podcast

    2D AGO · BONUS

    You Might Also Like: Raising Us: A Parenting Podcast

    Introducing Raising Confident Kids Without Pressure or Perfection | Nia Sioux & Dr. Kristin Neff | A Kids Co. from Raising Us: A Parenting Podcast. Follow the show: Raising Us: A Parenting Podcast Self-esteem plays a powerful role in how kids handle challenges, relationships, and self-doubt – but how can parents ensure confidence doesn’t come with being “the best?” Raising Us host Elise Hu is joined by Dr. Kristin Neff, associate professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, to define self-esteem and share practical tips for building confidence at home. Also joining this episode is Nia Sioux, a dancer, singer and actress who's best known for her breakout role as an original cast member in Lifetime’s hit reality series Dance Moms. Nia talks with us about growing up in front of cameras, her best tips for practicing self-esteem and confidence, and more anecdotes from her new memoir, Bottom of the Pyramid.  Key Takeaways Remind yourself that your own opinion of yourself is what matters most. Reframe the idea of being at the bottom to mean an opportunity for learning and growth. Model self-esteem, kindness, and warmth to encourage your children to do the same. Rewire thought processes to encourage ourselves the same way we would encourage a close friend. Emphasize trying and learning rather than outcome. ⏱️ Timestamps: Keep the conversation going at home with our FREE Conversation Kit companion guide: https://delivery.shopifyapps.com/-/e1bea0cf911a6b78/3f7d25b53f99ac38 Follow Dr. Kristin Neff on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neffselfcompassion Follow Nia Sioux on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/niasioux New episodes every Tuesday: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AKidsCo Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-us-a-parenting-podcast/id1552286967 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2bIRVxM8hbriNxydkSv6VG Or wherever you get your podcasts. 🔗 START HERE 📌 Get free weekly conversation kits: https://akidsco.com/pages/raising-us 📌 Browse A Kids Co. books that pair with episodes: https://akidsco.com 📌 Follow Elise Hu: https://www.instagram.com/elisewho ABOUT THE SHOW Raising Us | Parenting Podcast for Kids, Tweens, & Conscious Caregivers Award-winning journalist Elise Hu (TED Talks Daily, Forever35) hosts Raising Us, a parenting podcast for grownups raising Big-Question Kids. From puberty and identity to tech and body image, each episode gives you tools to spark real conversations with the kids in your life. Created by A Kids Co. (a family media company) the show blends expert-backed insights with real, lived experiences featuring trusted doctors, educators and purpose-driven public figures sharing age-appropriate advice so you don't have to wing the hard stuff. Follow on: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AKidsCo Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-us-a-parenting-podcast/id1552286967 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2bIRVxM8hbriNxydkSv6VG Or wherever you get your podcasts. If you like parenting podcasts like Good Inside with Dr. Becky, The Longest Shortest Time, Raising Good Humans or Ask Lisa, this podcast is for you. Topics Covered on Raising Us: Parenting kids and tweens Mental health for kids Talking to kids about racism, identity, and inclusion Screen time and social media Puberty, anxiety, and big feelings Building emotional intelligence in families Conscious and values-driven parenting Elise Hu parenting podcast A Kids Co. podcast series Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising. DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to team@podroll.fm.

  3. JAN 26

    Building a Support System When You Feel Totally Alone

    If you're parenting a child who's wired differently and you feel completely alone in it, that's not random and it's not your fault. Maybe family doesn't understand why you do things differently. Maybe friends stopped inviting you places. Maybe you can't find a babysitter who can handle your child's needs, so you haven't had a break in months—or years. Here's the truth: you're not supposed to do this alone, but the support you need looks different than what most people offer. In this episode, you'll discover: Why parents of kids who are wired differently predictably end up isolated (and why it's damaging your capacity to parent) What support you actually need versus what people think you need How to ask for help specifically (so people can actually say yes) Where to find your people—the ones who already speak your language Why some "support" is actually draining you—and how to fire people from your team How to protect your energy by letting go of relationships that deplete you By the end of this episode, you'll know exactly how to build a support system that can actually help you sustain this marathon—even if it looks nothing like other parents' support systems. Resources mentioned: Sign up for the newsletter at www.climbingfishparenting.com for a specific script for asking for help that makes it easier for people to say yes—plus instant access to the Frustration Tolerance Scripts & Practice Guide. Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes we're just asking our fish to climb trees. That's what we fix here.

    17 min

  4. JAN 19

    Your Nervous System Matters Too: Co-Regulation Starts with Self-Regulation

    "Just stay calm." "Be the calm in the storm." Easy to say, impossible to do when you're already depleted from co-regulating through three transitions before breakfast, making seventy decisions, and absorbing your child's anxiety all morning. Here's the truth: you can't lend your child a calm nervous system if yours is running on empty. And trying harder to "stay calm" when you're already dysregulated? That's not a reasonable expectation—it's not even biologically possible. In this episode, you'll discover: Why your child's nervous system is constantly scanning yours for cues of safety or danger What's happening in your body when chronic stress shrinks your "window of tolerance" How to notice your early warning signs before you're already yelling or shut down The micro-moments of regulation (30 seconds to 2 minutes) that actually work in real-time Why repair after dysregulation matters more than perfect calm When you need professional support for your own nervous system (and why that's not weakness) By the end of this episode, you'll understand what's actually happening in your body when your child is dysregulated, why "just stay calm" doesn't work, and what you need to do to regulate yourself so you can help regulate your child. Resources mentioned: Sign up for the newsletter at www.climbingfishparenting.com for a specific regulation technique that works in under 60 seconds—plus instant access to the Frustration Tolerance Scripts & Practice Guide. Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes we're just asking our fish to climb trees. That's what we fix here.

    17 min

  5. JAN 12

    The Myth of "Doing It All": What Sustainable Parenting Actually Looks Like

    If you're trying to "do it all"—homemade meals, organized systems, consistent routines, patience, self-care—while parenting a child who's wired differently, I need you to hear this: You're not failing because you're not trying hard enough. You're failing because the goal itself is impossible. That vision of "good parenting" wasn't designed for families managing constant co-regulation, sensory needs, and nervous systems that can't handle typical demands. In this episode, you'll discover: Why you're operating from a scarcity model (and how it's setting you up for collapse) How to identify your real non-negotiables (there should be fewer than you think) The "should audit" that will free up massive amounts of energy immediately Why tight schedules always break—and how to build buffers that actually work How to embrace different seasons of parenting without guilt What "good enough" parenting actually means (and why it's better for your child than perfection) By the end of this episode, you'll know exactly what to stop doing, what actually matters, and how to build a parenting approach you can maintain for years without burning out. Resources mentioned: Sign up for the newsletter at www.climbingfishparenting.com for this week's exclusive Swim Strategy—a specific question that will help you figure out what to drop immediately. Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes we're just asking our fish to climb trees. That's what we fix here.

    19 min

  6. JAN 5

    Why Parenting a Child Who's Wired Differently Is So Exhausting (And It's Not Your Fault)

    If you're completely drained from parenting your child who's wired differently—and wondering if you're just not cut out for this—I need you to hear this: It's not because you're weak or doing it wrong. There are very specific, research-backed reasons why this type of parenting is exponentially more exhausting than typical parenting. And once you understand what's actually happening, you can stop blaming yourself and start protecting your energy. In this episode, you'll discover: Why you're functioning as your child's external regulation system (and what that's doing to your nervous system) How you're making hundreds more decisions every day than other parents—and what to do about decision fatigue The invisible translation work that's draining you (and how to stop doing it alone) Why chronic uncertainty keeps you in a constant state of low-level panic Practical strategies to restore your energy between co-regulation moments How to pace yourself for the marathon, not the sprint By the end of this episode, you'll understand the seven specific reasons parenting your child is so depleting—and have concrete strategies to protect your own capacity so you can keep showing up. Resources mentioned: Sign up for the newsletter at www.climbingfishparenting.com and get your Swimming Strategy for the week - a research finding about co-regulation that didn't make it into this episode. Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes we're just asking our fish to climb trees. That's what we fix here.

    19 min

  7. 12/29/2025

    The Power of Validation: Why Your Kid Desperately Needs It

    "Great, another therapy word that sounds nice but doesn't actually help when my kid is having a full meltdown in Target." I get it. But here's the thing: validation is one of the most powerful tools you have for reducing meltdowns, building confidence, and teaching your child to trust themselves. And it's way simpler than you think. In this episode, you'll discover: - What validation actually is (hint: it's not agreeing or giving permission) - Why kids who grow up without validation become adults who don't trust themselves - The 5 specific strategies for validating your child in real, messy situations - How to validate feelings while still holding firm boundaries - Examples of validation at every age (toddlers through teens) By the end of this episode, you'll understand how to acknowledge your child's internal experience without approving their behavior—and why this one shift reduces meltdown intensity, shortens duration, and builds the foundation for self-regulation. Get practical strategies at www.climbingfishparenting.com Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes we're just asking our fish to climb trees. That's what we fix here.

    16 min

  8. 12/21/2025

    Grief and the Holidays: How to Help Your Child (And Yourself) Through Loss

    Your child just asked when Grandma's coming back—for the fifth time this week. Or they're melting down over nothing. Or they seem completely fine while you're barely holding it together. And you're thinking: Am I doing this wrong? Should I hide my tears? Will talking about it make it worse? Here's the truth: Grief during the holidays is complicated—for you AND your kids. And most of us are trying to protect our children from pain in ways that actually make it harder for them to heal. In this episode, you'll discover: Why shielding your kids from grief teaches them that sadness is shameful What grief actually looks like at every age (hint: it doesn't look like adult grief) The question that changes everything: "Am I teaching my child that we erase people when they die?" How to talk about death in age-appropriate ways that are honest but not terrifying Why you MUST talk about your loved one—even when it's hard The exact signs that grief has become concerning and needs professional support How to manage your own grief while still showing up for your kids By the end of this episode, you'll know how to navigate the holidays with grief in a way that honors your loved one, makes space for all the feelings, and teaches your kids that hard emotions are part of being human—not something to hide. Resources mentioned: Get practical strategies at www.climbingfishparenting.com Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes we're just asking our fish to climb trees. That's what we fix here.

    26 min
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4.9
out of 5
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About

Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes, we're just asking our fish to climb trees. If you're an exhausted parent who's tried everything and nothing has worked—this podcast is for you. You're carrying guilt about your parenting. Your child's behaviors don't respond to the typical strategies. The advice from books, friends, and even professionals just... doesn't fit. Here's what I need you to know: You're not failing. You're just using the wrong map. I'm Dr. Kristi, a psychologist and behavior analyst, and I help parents understand their child's unique wiring and use strategies that actually work. Whether your child has a diagnosis or you just know they're wired differently—whether it's ADHD, ASD, anxiety, sensory sensitivities, or they're just... not like the parenting books describe—this is for you. No fluff. No shame. Just practical, evidence-based guidance from someone who gets it. Each episode gives you real strategies for real challenges—meltdowns, school struggles, bedtime battles, and everything in between. This is where we stop asking fish to climb trees and start helping them swim.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Kristi Clarke
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    21
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    Climbing Fish Parenting