Coffee with Gays™: Every Sip Is A Story

Blaine LaBron, Ryan Hines, and Reed Rousseau
  • 3.8 (20)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

🎙️ Coffee with Gays™: Season 4 New episodes every Thursday — starting June 5 Coffee with Gays isn’t your typical gay podcast. No WeHo clichés. No curated “safe spaces.” Just real conversations from our unique, unfiltered lens—designed to challenge, entertain, and sometimes piss you off. Good. 👋 Meet your hosts:  🎯 Blaine — insightful, balanced, center-right 📖 Reed — relatable, refreshingly honest 🔥 Season 3 Highlights 🏳️‍🌈 Before It Was Safe — honoring those who made Pride possible 💔 Matt’s Story — outed after 35 years of marriage 🔮 Psychic Valentina — breaking down America’s birth chart This isn’t just a podcast—it’s a conversation. A movement. A mirror.  Subscribe now and join us every Thursday. #CoffeeWithGays ☕️

  1. The Gay Coming-of-Age Novel You Didn't Know You Needed — Our Interview with Robert Raasch | Ep 25

    JUL 31

    The Gay Coming-of-Age Novel You Didn't Know You Needed — Our Interview with Robert Raasch | Ep 25

    🎙️ New episodes every Thursday | Hosted by Blaine & Reed ☕ A Coffee with Gays First-Ever Author Special Yes, Blaine was starstruck. And yes, we left that in. In our first-ever author interview, we welcome novelist Robert Raasch, whose debut novel The Summer Between takes us back to 1978 — before Grindr, before DEI, before the word “community” got co-opted into a rainbow ad. Set in a pre-AIDS Greenwich Village, the book follows Andy Pollock, a closeted high school senior who finds himself (and maybe love?) in the city for one life-altering summer. What follows in this episode is part literary salon, part red-flag dating game, and part emotionally chaotic gay boy banter. Robert opens up about turning personal memory into fiction, how writing can be therapy (until it isn’t), and the process of shaping a story that feels both personal and universal. We talk about the women who shape gay men, the architecture of Chicago, and the fantasy of living in New York before anyone knew what “viral” meant. This one is heartfelt, hilarious, and unexpectedly healing. Come for the book, stay for the banter. ✨ WHAT YOU’LL HEAR Why Robert set The Summer Between in 1978 NYCFirst love stories that still sting 40 years laterHow writing fiction can be the most honest thing you do🚩 A savage round of Red Flag or DealbreakerWhat makes a queer story matter in 2025💬 KEY TAKEAWAYS Coming out is always messy, even in fictionCommunity used to mean showing up in personSome stories are too big for 280 charactersWomen allies are often the blueprint for gay survivalA good book doesn’t end when it’s over🔊 SOUND BITES “Tell your stories. Just write.”“This book felt like flipping through someone else’s memories.”“I ignored the red flag… and then made excuses.”“I wanted a book where the gay kid doesn’t die.”“Writing’s not always therapy. Sometimes it just rips you open.”🕛 CHAPTERS 00:00 — Blaine’s Starstruck Intro & Robert’s Arrival 00:40 — Why 1978? Setting the Stage for The Summer Between 02:56 — NYC Before AIDS: Community, Danger, Freedom 04:18 — Building Andy Pollock: Authenticity & First-Love Feels 08:52 — The Women Who Saved Us — Female Influence in Queer Stories 10:35 — From Early Draft to Final Book (Writing Process) 16:15 — Family Dynamics & Coming-Out Shockwaves 19:46 — First-Love Lessons That Still Sting 22:22 — Open-Ended Endings & Sequel Tease 25:14 — Reader DM’s That Made Robert Cry 26:03 — Casting Dreams: Who Plays Andy on Netflix? 27:20 — Would TikTok Have Ru Support the show Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉 🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials 🕺 Follow us on TikTok 🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel 📸 Follow us on Instagram 🐦 Follow us on Twitter 🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts 🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts ❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio 🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

    59 min

  2. JUL 10

    He Started with Love Bombing, He Put Me in the ER | Ep. 25

    🗓️ New episodes every Thursday | Hosted by Blaine & Reed Blaine opens up about a relationship that nearly cost him his life. What began with over-the-top romance — flowers, gifts (include a cadillac SUV), nonstop texts — quickly spiraled into control, isolation, and a trip to the emergency room. In this deeply personal episode, we unpack how one partner’s “love bombing” turned into fear, gaslighting, and physical violence behind closed doors. Blaine and Reed speak candidly about LGBTQ+ domestic violence, sharing hard truths, a little dark humor, and a whole lot of heart. Yes, the title leans into viral clickbait — but what’s inside is all too real. This was a hard one to record. Blaine opens up about the night he feared for his life, the aftermath in the ER, and the comments that hurt most: “Well, it was your fault for staying.” This episode sheds light on why so many victims can’t just leave, and why victim shaming is not just cruel — it’s dangerous. If you’ve ever felt stuck, scared, or ashamed, this one’s for you. You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. 🧠 What You’ll Hear When romantic gestures cross into emotional manipulationHow love bombing creates trauma bondsWhy Blaine didn’t leave — and why that question misses the pointThe aftermath: the ER visit, the shame spiral, the rebuildingWhat healing actually looks like (hint: it’s messy, but possible)💬 Key Takeaways Love bombing is manipulation wrapped in flattery.LGBTQ+ people face equal or higher rates of domestic violence, yet often lack tailored resources.Leaving is not always safe — especially for queer victims.Shaming survivors only protects abusers.Telling your story can help someone else get out.⏱️ Chapters 00:00 — Introduction & Setup (a “viral” title with a serious story) 01:45 — Love-Bombed: When the honeymoon phase feels like a dream 05:30 — Red Flags: Jealousy, isolation, and the slow creep of control 10:20 — Walking on Eggshells: Gaslighting and daily fear 15:45 — Breaking Point: The night everything turned violent 20:10 — Aftermath: Waking up in the ER and confronting the truth 24:00 — The Shame Spiral: “It was your fault for staying” 30:15 — Support Systems: Friends, therapy, and safe people 35:40 — The Healing Journey: From broken to rebuilding 40:00 — Speaking Out: Why Blaine’s finally telling this story 45:30 — Closing Thoughts: Hope for anyone who feels stuck 🔊 Sound Bites •   "It felt like a fairy tale at first." •   "By the time the first punch came, I already felt trapped." •   “I said: Please don’t kill me. ThinSupport the show Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉 🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials 🕺 Follow us on TikTok 🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel 📸 Follow us on Instagram 🐦 Follow us on Twitter 🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts 🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts ❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio 🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

    57 min

  3. JUN 27

    Because of Them: Pride Then, Pride Now | Pride Arc Finale | Ep 23

    🎙️ Because of Them: Pride Then, Pride Now | Pride Finale New episodes every Thursday | Hosted by Blaine & Reed This episode is a love letter to the icons who made Pride possible—and a truth check on what it means today. As Blaine and Reed wrap up the Because of Them arc, they sit down over coffee for a raw, reflective conversation about how far we’ve come as a community—and what still weighs on us. From the evolution of the Pride flag to the commercialization of queer joy, from honoring Bayard Rustin and Marsha P. Johnson to remembering the 49 lives lost at Pulse, this Pride finale blends history, heartbreak, and hope. We talk about the joy and grief wrapped up in this month, the forgotten voices, and why it matters that we keep telling these stories—even when it’s hard. 🔍 What You’ll Hear Pride vs. Profit: How corporations reshaped Pride—and how we’re taking it backPulse Nightclub Reflections: Reed’s personal connection to the tragedy, and the grief and grit that followedLGBTQ+ Icons & Unsung Heroes: From drag queens to quiet caregivers, the people who showed up before it was safeThe Rainbow Flag’s Legacy: What Gilbert Baker’s original flag stood for—and why every stripe still mattersLove Without Labels: A real convo on monogamy, open relationships, and why judgment has no place at Pride⭐ Key Takeaways Pride started as protest—and it still is.Corporate sponsorship doesn’t make or break our movement.Remembering Pulse reminds us what’s at stake.Flags evolve—because our community does too.Monogamy, polyamory, and everything in between deserve respect.⏱️ Chapter Breakdown 00:00 — Did That Gay Thing Happen? (game)  05:51 — Pride’s Shift in Tone  06:42 — Corporate Influence vs. Grassroots  14:27 — Reclaiming Pride for Community  17:30 — How Pride Celebrations Evolved  20:20 — Unsung Heroes of LGBTQ History  22:46 — Pulse Nightclub & Collective Grief  33:46 — The Rainbow Flag’s Story  42:37 — Legacy of LGBTQ Icons  44:59 — Drag Culture’s Impact  48:01 — More History Makers  50:12 — LGBTQ+ Representation Then & Now  55:21 — Monogamy vs. Open Love  1:00:36 — Why Community Still Matters 💬 Keep the Conversation Going Who made your Pride possible?  📩 Email us at dotell@coffeewithgays.com 📲 Follow @coffeewithgays on every platform and @coffeewithgayspod on TikTok and share your story. Because Pride didn’t start with us—and it sure as hell doesn’t end here. Support the show Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉 🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials 🕺 Follow us on TikTok 🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel 📸 Follow us on Instagram 🐦 Follow us on Twitter 🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts 🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts ❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio 🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

    1h 6m

  4. JUN 19

    Life After Coming Out at 60: Matt Starts Over (Part 2) | Ep 22

    Life After Coming Out at 60: Matt Starts Over (Part 2) – At 60, Matt’s life took a dramatic turn when he was outed, abruptly ending a 35-year marriage. In Part 2 of his story, Matt opens up about starting over as an openly gay man in Dallas – from finding love and community to rebuilding family relationships. This heartfelt conversation explores the challenges of dating later in life, learning self-acceptance, and the power of an affirming LGBTQ community. In this episode, you’ll hear about: Embracing your true identity after decades of secrecyBuilding a support network and community from scratch in a new cityNavigating first dates, new friendships, and unexpected feelings of guilt at 60How chosen family and therapy helped Matt heal and find joy againWhy it matters: Not everyone gets to choose how – or when – they come out. Matt’s journey shows that it’s never too late to live authentically and find the community that will lift you up. If you enjoy this episode, follow @CoffeewithGays for more true stories every Thursday. And if you missed Part 1 of Matt’s story, be sure to check out the previous episode! Feel free to share this story with a friend or leave us a rating/review to let us know what you think. ⏱️ Chapters 00:00 — Introduction & New Beginnings 02:50 — Life After Coming Out 05:31 — Finding an LGBTQ Community from Scratch 07:53 — Navigating Happiness and Guilt 10:36 — The Freedom of Being Out 13:17 — Relationships, Dating & Acceptance 16:24 — Ongoing Self-Discovery 19:05 — Observations on Community & Culture 28:26 — Starting Over Later in Life 30:57 — Exploring Sexuality & New Connections 36:18 — Building Friendships & Support Systems 39:28 — Belonging in a Traditionally Conservative Environment 45:04 — Sharing Stories & Personal Growth Support the show Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉 🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials 🕺 Follow us on TikTok 🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel 📸 Follow us on Instagram 🐦 Follow us on Twitter 🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts 🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts ❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio 🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

    51 min

  5. JUN 13

    Not Everyone Comes Out on Their Own Terms: Matt’s Story (Part 1) | Ep 21

    New episodes every Thursday | Hosted by Blaine & Reed We’ve kept this conversation in the vault for nearly a year—because it’s that important. After 35 years of marriage, Matt was outed overnight. Part 1 captures the immediate shock-wave: family fallout, buried trauma, and the first steps toward rebuilding a life that was never supposed to stay hidden. This isn’t just a coming-out story. It’s about the cost of secrets, the long shadow of shame, and what it takes to start over with integrity. 🎙️ Part of our ongoing Because of Them series—honoring the lives and stories that made Pride possible. Some were loud. Some were quiet. All mattered. 🔍 What We Cover The split-second moment Matt’s secret became publicDecades of secrecy and its impact on identity & relationshipsTherapy as a lifeline when truth finally surfacesWhy support systems are critical when the closet door is ripped open⭐ Key Takeaways Coming out isn’t always a choice.Secrets carry a heavy psychological price.Family dynamics stay complicated long after the reveal.Healing starts with truth, therapy, and community.⏱️ Chapter Breakdown 00:00 — Introduction to the Journey 02:51 — The Unexpected Outing 05:49 — The Aftermath of Being Outed 08:58 — Family Dynamics and Reactions 11:59 — Navigating the Emotional Turmoil 15:04 — Confronting the Truth 18:02 — Seeking Help and Support 20:49 — The Impact of Trauma 24:03 — Understanding Identity and Acceptance 26:56 — Finding a Path Forward 33:10 — Rationalizing Identity and Behavior 36:09 — The Complexity of Coming Out 39:12 — The Burden of Secrets 41:36 — The Impact of Therapy on Self-Discovery 45:19 — Navigating Relationships Post-Come-Out 48:00 — Experiences in Treatment Facilities 53:30 — Reflections on Self-Entitlement and Guilt 56:39 — The Evolution of Connections in the LGBTQ+ Community 01:01:45 — Mental Health and Workplace Dynamics 01:03:35 — The Importance of Resources for the LGBTQ+ Community 🔊 Memorable Lines “I was ripped out of the closet.”“I didn’t want to hurt people.”“I was so f*cking entitled.”🧭 Why It Matters Not everyone gets to come out on their own terms. Matt’s story shows how heavy the closet can be—and how powerful truth becomes once spoken aloud. 🎧 Listen now, then queue Part 2 to hear how Matt starts over at 60. 💬 Tell us: Who made your Pride possible? 📲 Follow @coffeewithgays for clips, polls & more. Support the show Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉 🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials 🕺 Follow us on TikTok 🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel 📸 Follow us on Instagram 🐦 Follow us on Twitter 🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts 🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts ❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio 🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

    1h 10m

  6. JUN 5

    🎙️ Before It Was Safe: The Lives That Made Pride Possible | Ep 20

    New episodes every Thursday | Hosted by Blaine & Reed This episode kicks off our Pride Month arc with a truth bomb: Pride didn’t start with rainbow merch—it started with people who had to survive silence. We’re bringing you the raw, redemptive story of Matt, a man outed after 35 years of marriage to a woman. His journey cracks open a larger conversation about how far we’ve come—and how far we still have to go. We also dive into the hidden lives of queer Hollywood icons: Cary Grant, Rock Hudson, Katharine Hepburn—and the man who claimed to know all their secrets, Scotty Bowers. 🎥 Want more? We fully unpack the Scotty Bowers documentary, and you can stream it free on Tubi. It’s messy, revealing, and morally complicated—but worth watching if you care about how queer history has been told (and sold). And yes—the pod is officially relaunching. New tone. New vibe. Still brunch-table realness. ⏱️ Chapter Breakdown: 00:00 — Welcome to Pride Month + Personal Reflections 01:13 — Matt’s Story: Outed After 35 Years 03:39 — Relaunching Coffee with Gays 04:42 — Old Hollywood and LGBTQ Representation 07:44 — Cary Grant & Randolph Scott’s Complex Relationship 10:46 — Scotty Bowers and the Secrets of Tinseltown 13:46 — The Moral Dilemma of Outing the Dead 16:45 — Rock Hudson, AIDS, and America’s Wake-Up Call 25:05 — Names, Identity, and Cultural Framing 27:00 — The Legacy of Rock Hudson and Representation 28:31 — Katharine Hepburn’s Queer Subtext 33:19 — Monogamy vs. Non-Monogamy in Today’s Gay World 40:32 — How Safe Are We Really? 45:09 — LGBTQ Activism: Then vs. Now 50:22 — Why Pride Still Matters ✨ In This Episode: The danger and dignity in Matt’s late-in-life coming outThe moral mess of outing celebrities after deathThe dark underbelly of Old Hollywood’s golden ageScotty Bowers: whistleblower or opportunist?Pride vs. performance—where do we stand today?🧠 Why It Matters: Not every hero was a protester. Some were lovers who died without being seen. Some made art. Some just survived. And some—like Matt—are still figuring it out. This episode is for them. And for everyone still walking the line between privacy and pride. 🎧 Listen if you’ve ever: Felt conflicted about visibilityWondered who really "made Pride possible"Wanted to scream during a bad Grindr date📲 Follow @coffeewithgays, hit that subscribe button, and tell us in the comments:  Who made your Pride possible? Let me know if you want this adapted for Buzzsprout preview text or shortened for Support the show Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉 🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials 🕺 Follow us on TikTok 🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel 📸 Follow us on Instagram 🐦 Follow us on Twitter 🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts 🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts ❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio 🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

    57 min

  7. JAN 25

    New Year New Beginnings: Cheers to Change and Growth | Ep 19

    💡 Key Discussion Points: Blaine, Ryan, and Reed kick off the New Year with a candid recap of the holidays, including the ups and downs of Friendsgiving, New Year's Eve drama, and a hilarious White Elephant gift exchange. 🎁 The crew dives deep into personal resolutions for 2025, focusing on self-care, mindful drinking, and tackling big goals while staying authentic. ✨ Blaine shares his thoughts on Dry January and how mindful practices like Allan Carr's The Easy Way to Quit Smoking have shaped his habits. 🚭 Don't miss the fun game at the end where the crew hilariously reflects on quirky quotes from past episodes! 🎮 🎧 Episode Breakdown: [00:00:00] 🎙️ Introduction: Blaine reflects on the team's holiday adventures and shares their goal to make Coffee with Gays more consistent in 2025. [00:05:12] ☕ Holiday Chaos Recap: From Friendsgiving drama to New Year's Eve mishaps, the crew shares personal highlights and lessons learned. Blaine recounts an awkward moment introducing a new date to the group during NYE festivities. 🥂 [00:15:47] 🎁 White Elephant Gift Exchange: A Costco blanket becomes the most stolen gift, and Ryan's infamous charcuterie board sparks plenty of laughs. [00:25:10] 🥂 Dry January & Alcohol Habits: Blaine and Ryan discuss their relationship with alcohol and why Dry January feels like a fresh start after a festive (and boozy) season. [00:35:32] 🚭 Quitting Smoking: Blaine opens up about using Allan Carr's The Easy Way to Quit Smoking and how it has helped him embrace healthier habits. [00:45:18] ✨ 2025 Resolutions: The team outlines their goals for the year, including Blaine's commitment to creating more podcast content, Ryan's massage therapy progress, and Reed's focus on personal growth. [00:58:00] 🎮 Game Time: The episode closes with a hilarious game segment where the crew reflects on quirky quotes from previous episodes, offering laughs and nostalgia for long-time listeners. [01:05:00] 🏁 Closing Thoughts: The crew reflects on their shared journey, their excitement for 2025, and their gratitude for listeners who continue to support Coffee with Gays. Support the show Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉 🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials 🕺 Follow us on TikTok 🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel 📸 Follow us on Instagram 🐦 Follow us on Twitter 🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts 🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts ❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio 🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

    1h 10m

  8. 11/01/2024

    Election Clash: Bullying, Boys in Girls’ Sports, Gender Care for Minors, & LGBTQ+ Advocacy S4 Ep18

    Note: This episode was recorded on October 27, 2024, before the JD Vance interview with Joe Rogan. We’re intrigued to see that many topics we discussed were also covered. Share your thoughts below! We’re encouraged by a Republican Vice President candidate addressing LGBTQ+ issues, aligning with our call for organizations like Human Rights Campaign to prioritize impactful legislation like the Equality Act. This act would affect 13 million LGBTQ+ Americans, and we believe it should be the focus, rather than niche issues. In this Coffee with Gays episode, Blaine and the crew return from their summer break to tackle what truly matters in election season. They discuss online bullying 🗣️, the "Boys in Girls’ Sports" debate 🏅, HRC’s focus on gender care for minors 🏳️‍⚧️, and why bipartisan support, as seen with the Respect for Marriage Act, is crucial. Tune in for an honest, insightful take on why LGBTQ+ advocacy needs to focus on broad legislation over divisive niche topics. [00:00:00] 🎙️ Intro: Blaine, Ryan, and Reed reflect on past episodes and introduce Reed’s new perspective. [00:07:02] ☕ Show Update & Matt's Story: The team previews an upcoming series on their friend Matt, outed after 35 years in the closet. [00:15:23] 🗳️ Election Season & LGBTQ+ Issues: Blaine examines how LGBTQ+ rights are used in politics by both sides. [00:20:29] 🤯 Online Bullying & Cancel Culture: Blaine discusses Mama Tot’s experience with online bullying after Hurricane Helene. [00:28:00] 🏳️‍⚧️ HRC’s Focus on Gender Care: Blaine critiques HRC’s priorities, emphasizing a need to focus on broader issues like the Equality Act. [00:35:00] ⚖️ Equality Act’s Impact: Blaine explains the Equality Act’s protections and its importance for 13 million LGBTQ+ individuals. [00:40:49] 🏅 Texas HB 25 - "Boys in Girls' Sports": The team discusses HB 25, which restricts sports participation based on birth certificate sex. [00:46:00] 🏛️ Respect for Marriage Act: Blaine highlights bipartisan support for marriage equality protections. [00:50:00] 🏳️‍🌈 Co-opting LGBTQ+ Symbols: Blaine shares his frustrations on pride symbols being used in unrelated causes. [00:58:00] 🎮 Game - Donkey or Elephant?: The team plays a guessing game with political quotes from Democrats and Republicans. Support the show Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉 🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials 🕺 Follow us on TikTok 🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel 📸 Follow us on Instagram 🐦 Follow us on Twitter 🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts 🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts ❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio 🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

    58 min
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3.8
out of 5
20 Ratings

About

🎙️ Coffee with Gays™: Season 4 New episodes every Thursday — starting June 5 Coffee with Gays isn’t your typical gay podcast. No WeHo clichés. No curated “safe spaces.” Just real conversations from our unique, unfiltered lens—designed to challenge, entertain, and sometimes piss you off. Good. 👋 Meet your hosts:  🎯 Blaine — insightful, balanced, center-right 📖 Reed — relatable, refreshingly honest 🔥 Season 3 Highlights 🏳️‍🌈 Before It Was Safe — honoring those who made Pride possible 💔 Matt’s Story — outed after 35 years of marriage 🔮 Psychic Valentina — breaking down America’s birth chart This isn’t just a podcast—it’s a conversation. A movement. A mirror.  Subscribe now and join us every Thursday. #CoffeeWithGays ☕️

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