Complex Couples Podcast

Heidi Applegarth
  • 5.0 (6)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome! This is a space where your marriage matters, your values matter, and your choices matter. I’m Heidi, a couples therapist and founder of Complex Couples Coaching. I help couples navigate complex marriages, especially where mixed-orientation, desire discrepancies, attraction changes, or mixed gender identity play a role. My goal is to help you see your relationship clearly and make decisions rooted in integrity rather than fear. Learn to navigate complicated issues so you can make choices and thrive in whatever choice you make. Join me as I share insights about marriage that specifically apply to your situation. I’ll walk you through complicated issues such as: • What to do when your husband or wife comes out as gay, bisexual or trans • Whether mixed-orientation marriages can thrive or just merely survive • How attraction works and if you have to give it up if you want to stay married • Loss of desire in long-term marriage and how to get it back • Navigating high-conflict situations in a way that increases self-respect • Working through feelings of resentment • Rebuilding trust after emotional betrayal or secrets Subscribe and join a community of people committed to allowing marriage to shape them into better humans.

  1. 3d ago

    When People Feel Sorry for You Because of Your Marriage…Do You Feel Sorry For Yourself?

    Why do some comments stay with you long after they're said? In this episode, I explore why other people's opinions can feel so personal. And how understanding what's happening beneath the surface can help you respond differently. Why certain comments affect us more deeply than others. How to tell the difference between feeling understood and feeling defined by someone else's perspective. A simple way to begin finding your footing when outside voices feel overwhelming. This Week's Invitation Think about a comment that's stayed with you longer than you'd like. Spend a few quiet moments asking yourself what made it feel so significant before deciding what you want to do with it. Resources Mentioned Complex Couples Coaching Workshop ➡️ Register here: https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/workshop Connect If this episode was meaningful to you, I'd love for you to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who may need it. My hope is that these conversations help you navigate it all with greater clarity, courage, and compassion. Interested in private coaching? Learn more ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application  Join me on my YouTube channel Complex Couples Podcasthttps://www.youtube.com/@complexcouplespodcast  Have questions?Have a story to share?Share your story with me here: complexcouplescoaching.com/questions Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com Your emails help shape future episodes. You don’t have to face this alone. This podcast is for educational purposes only. It does not replace therapy, and it's not a substitute for professional mental health care. The examples I share are brief snapshots designed to illustrate a principle and may not apply to every situation. Because every relationship is unique, consider these principles thoughtfully and seek individualized professional guidance when needed. If your relationship involves violence, intimidation, or you have concerns for your safety, please seek support from professionals who can help you assess your specific situation and address it appropriately.

  2. Jul 21

    I Just Found Out Your Spouse Is Gay. Now what?

    When you discover your husband is gay, your wife is a lesbian, or your spouse is transgender, it can feel like your entire world has been turned upside down. Questions come quickly. Emotions come even faster.  You may feel pressure to make sense of everything immediately. In this episode, I want to slow things down. We'll talk about what those first days often feel like, why you don't need all the answers right now, and how to begin sorting through your experience without rushing to conclusions. I'll also share parts of my own journey and the practices that helped me find steadiness when everything felt uncertain. If you're in the beginning of this journey, I hope this episode helps you take one deep breath and remember that you're not alone. In This Episode How to process without becoming consumed by fear The difference between healing and avoidance Why it's important not to rewrite your entire marriage overnight Learning to "zoom in" and "zoom out" as you make sense of your story The role of faith, compassion, and hope in the healing process Resources 📘  FREE Guide "When Your Spouse Comes Out: 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/guide  Connect If this episode was meaningful to you, I'd love for you to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who may need it. My hope is that these conversations help you navigate it all with greater clarity, courage, and compassion. Interested in private coaching?Learn more ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application  Join me on my YouTube channel Complex Couples Podcasthttps://www.youtube.com/@complexcouplespodcast  Have questions?Have a story to share?Share your story with me here: complexcouplescoaching.com/questions Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com Your emails help shape future episodes. You don’t have to face this alone. This podcast is for educational purposes only. It does not replace therapy, and it's not a substitute for professional mental health care. The examples I share are brief snapshots designed to illustrate a principle and may not apply to every situation. Because every relationship is unique, consider these principles thoughtfully and seek individualized professional guidance when needed. If your relationship involves violence, intimidation, or you have concerns for your safety, please seek support from professionals who can help you assess your specific situation and address it appropriately.

  3. Jul 14

    What If It Was Never About You? When the Story You're Telling Yourself Isn't the Whole Story.

    What if the story you've been carrying isn't the only way to understand what's happening? Sometimes the smallest shift changes everything. There are moments in relationships when it's easy to believe someone else's choices say something about us. In this episode, I explore how the language we use and the labels we accept can quietly shape the way we experience our marriage, our pain, and ourselves. Together, we'll look at how to begin separating what belongs to you from what belongs to someone else, so you can recognize where your power actually lives. Key Talking Points How the stories we tell ourselves can shape the way we experience our relationships. Why someone else's choices may not mean what you've been afraid they mean. Begin to recognize what belongs to you and what doesn't. This Week's Invitation Pay attention to the language you use when you think or talk about your situation this week.  Resources Mentioned Differentiation and the Resolute Spouse by Dr. David Schnarch  Connect 🧭FREE Guide "When Your Spouse Comes Out: 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/guide  ⭐️Want private coaching? ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application  🎙️Join me on my YouTube channel Complex Couples Podcast ➡ https://www.youtube.com/@complexcouplespodcast  📧Questions? Comments? A topic you’d like covered? Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com  This podcast is for educational purposes only. It does not replace therapy, and it's not a substitute for professional mental health care. The examples I share are brief snapshots designed to illustrate a principle and may not apply to every situation. Because every relationship is unique, consider these principles thoughtfully and seek individualized professional guidance when needed. If your relationship involves violence, intimidation, or you have concerns for your safety, please seek support from professionals who can help you assess your specific situation and address it appropriately.

  4. Jul 7

    Daniel Perspective: What If the Label Isn't the Whole Story?

    Have you ever thought about how the same word can mean something completely different to the person hearing it than it does to the person saying it? YOUTUBE: https://youtu.be/zFZwk6KBzvQ  In this episode, Daniel and I explore the role labels play in relationships, identity, and communication.  We talk about: → Why labels can be helpful → Where they can become limiting, and  → How curiosity can help couples move beyond assumptions to better understand one another.   This Week's Invitation Think about a label you've given yourself, or even someone else. Instead of assuming you know what it means, get curious.  Ask questions that help you understand the experiences, values, or stories that might exist underneath that one phrase.   Resources Mentioned North Star The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints    Connect YOUTUBE: 🎙️Join me on my YouTube channel Complex Couples Podcast ➡ https://www.youtube.com/@complexcouplespodcast    ⭐️ Private coaching ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application    🧭 FREE Guide "When Your Spouse Comes Out: 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/guide    📧Questions? Comments? A topic you’d like covered? Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com    This podcast is for educational purposes only. It does not replace therapy, and it's not a substitute for professional mental health care. The examples I share are brief snapshots designed to illustrate a principle and may not apply to every situation. Because every relationship is unique, consider these principles thoughtfully and seek individualized professional guidance when needed. If your relationship involves violence, intimidation, or you have concerns for your safety, please seek support from professionals who can help you assess your specific situation and address it appropriately.

  5. Jun 30

    Is Your Relationship Your Treasure? Is that a good thing?

    What started as a quiet moment in my study after a date turned into a realization about myself that surprised me. I thought I had moved past that.    This Week's Invitation Sit with this question this week: Where is your treasure right now?  Is it your marriage? And is that actually straining your relationship with your spouse?    Connect ⭐️Want private coaching? ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application  🎙️Join me on my YouTube channel Complex Couples Podcast ➡ https://www.youtube.com/@complexcouplespodcast  🧭FREE Guide "When Your Spouse Comes Out: 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/guide  📧Questions? Comments? A topic you’d like covered? Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com The content provided by Complex Couples Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any condition, nor does it substitute for professional mental health services.

  6. Jun 23

    The Self-Deception That’s Easy to Miss and The Power That Is Hidden There

    Upcoming Workshop: Understanding the Real Conflict Register here ➡ https://www.ComplexCouplesCoaching.com/workshop There's a kind of self-deception that has nothing to do with making excuses, and I want to walk you through it. In this episode, I'm exploring something about self-deception I don't think gets talked about enough, and I'm sharing a personal story I haven't told quite this way before. A question I think most of us avoid asking ourselves. A moment from my own marriage that changed how I think about what I saw and didn't say. This Week's Invitation  I want you to sit with one question this week. Is there a moment you've looked away from, and what would you notice about yourself if you looked again? Let’s Connect Upcoming Workshop: Understanding the Real Conflict Register here ➡ https://www.ComplexCouplesCoaching.com/workshop Interested in private coaching?Learn more ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application  Join me on my YouTube channel Complex Couples Podcasthttps://www.youtube.com/@complexcouplespodcast  FREE Guide "When Your Spouse Comes Out: 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/guide  Question, comment, or topic you'd like me to discuss? Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com

  7. Jun 16

    The Biggest Problem I See In My Office. What If They’re Right?

    Upcoming Workshop: Understanding the Real Conflict. Learn a tool you'll use again and again.Space is limited. Register now ➡ https://www.ComplexCouplesCoaching.com/workshop  Most couples come into my office convinced they know exactly what the problem is. But what if the thing creating the most friction in your relationship isn't what you think it is?  In this episode, I share one of the most common patterns I see in conflict and why it can be so difficult to recognize in ourselves. The relationship dynamic I see more often than disagreements about money, sex, parenting, or in-laws Why we tend to feel so certain we're seeing the situation clearly A simple question that can completely change how you approach conflict    This Week's Invitation The next time you find yourself frustrated with someone, pause before deciding they're the problem. Spend a few minutes wondering what you might not be seeing yet.   Resources Book: Mistakes Were Made, But Not By Me by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson Article: What We Are by C Terry Warner Connect Interested in private coaching?Apply here ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application  FREE Guide "When Your Spouse Comes Out: 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/guide  Join me on my YouTube channel Complex Couples Podcasthttps://www.youtube.com/@complexcouplespodcast  Have questions or a story to share? ➡ complexcouplescoaching.com/questions Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com Your emails help shape future episodes. You don’t have to face this alone.

  8. Jun 9

    Daniel Episode: Post Disclosure Struggles - Seeing Your Spouse in a New Way

    Reminder!  Join a live workshop with Heidi on June 24th! Click HERE to register What happens when one spouse needs answers and the other doesn't have them? How do couples navigate difficult conversations when there is no perfect roadmap? And what helps a marriage grow stronger when both partners are facing uncertainty? Join us for an honest discussion about disclosure, intimacy, communication, and the realities of working through complex questions together. In This Episode One of the biggest surprises we encountered after disclosure Why some questions are harder to answer than others The challenges of navigating uncertainty in marriage How couples can approach difficult conversations with greater understanding What helped us stay connected during a challenging season Why there is no perfect formula for working through disclosure 📧 Questions or topic suggestions:heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com Feeling Stuck in a Relationship Problem You Can't Solve? If you keep asking yourself: Why do we keep having this fight? Why can't I let this go? Why do I feel so angry, hurt, or stuck? Why do I know what I should do, but still can't do it? You may be facing a Two-Choice Dilemma. In this live 90-minute workshop, I'll help you identify the real conflict underneath the conflict and show you a practical framework for moving forward with greater clarity, courage, and integrity. 📅 June 24, 2026⏰ 1:00–2:30 PM Central💲 $39 ➡️ Register here: https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/workshop 🌐 Complex Couples Coaching:https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application   YouTube channel Complex Couples Podcasthttps://www.youtube.com/@complexcouplespodcast  🎙️ Complex Couples Podcast:https://complexcouplescoaching.com/podcast Connect With Heidi If you're navigating the complexities of disclosure, mixed-orientation marriage, or relationship uncertainty, you're not alone. My goal is to help individuals and couples move from confusion and reactivity toward greater clarity, courage, and integrity.

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About

Welcome! This is a space where your marriage matters, your values matter, and your choices matter. I’m Heidi, a couples therapist and founder of Complex Couples Coaching. I help couples navigate complex marriages, especially where mixed-orientation, desire discrepancies, attraction changes, or mixed gender identity play a role. My goal is to help you see your relationship clearly and make decisions rooted in integrity rather than fear. Learn to navigate complicated issues so you can make choices and thrive in whatever choice you make. Join me as I share insights about marriage that specifically apply to your situation. I’ll walk you through complicated issues such as: • What to do when your husband or wife comes out as gay, bisexual or trans • Whether mixed-orientation marriages can thrive or just merely survive • How attraction works and if you have to give it up if you want to stay married • Loss of desire in long-term marriage and how to get it back • Navigating high-conflict situations in a way that increases self-respect • Working through feelings of resentment • Rebuilding trust after emotional betrayal or secrets Subscribe and join a community of people committed to allowing marriage to shape them into better humans.

Information

  • Creator
    Heidi Applegarth
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    24
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 2026
  • Show Website
    Complex Couples Podcast