Complex Couples Podcast

Heidi Applegarth

Welcome! This is a space where your marriage matters, your values matter, and your choices matter. I’m Heidi, a couples therapist and founder of Complex Couples Coaching. I help couples navigate complex marriages, especially where mixed-orientation, desire discrepancies, attraction changes, or mixed gender identity play a role. My goal is to help you see your relationship clearly and make decisions rooted in integrity rather than fear. Learn to navigate complicated issues so you can make choices and thrive in whatever choice you make. Join me as I share insights about marriage that specifically apply to your situation. I’ll walk you through complicated issues such as: • What to do when your husband or wife comes out as gay, bisexual or trans • Whether mixed-orientation marriages can thrive or just merely survive • How attraction works and if you have to give it up if you want to stay married • Loss of desire in long-term marriage and how to get it back • Navigating high-conflict situations in a way that increases self-respect • Working through feelings of resentment • Rebuilding trust after emotional betrayal or secrets Subscribe and join a community of people committed to allowing marriage to shape them into better humans.

Episodes

  1. 4D AGO

    Creating Space for Mixed-Orientation Marriages: Now There’s A Booth for You - Debut Episode

    In this debut episode of The Complex Couples Podcast, I share my personal story of being married for 18 years when my husband disclosed that he was attracted to men.  I talk about the disorientation, the fear, the questions, and the conflicting messages I encountered. And all while in a marriage and family program. Most importantly, we explore a question you may be quietly asking: Do I have to end my marriage because of this? This episode introduces the purpose of this podcast: creating a space, what I like to call a “booth”, for couples who don’t feel like they fit neatly anywhere. In This Episode, We Talk About: The moment my husband came out and what it felt like The immediate questions that flooded my mind: If he’s attracted to men, can he still be attracted to me? Is he staying for the kids? Is he staying because of religion? Am I a burden to him? The conflicting cultural messages about mixed-orientation marriages Why I didn’t want to automatically assume divorce was the only path What actually makes marriages thrive (and why ours was not an exception) The importance of choice in marriage Why language around sexuality can feel triggering and how not to let it block growth Why triggers can act as lighthouses for growth You deserve a place where your marriage has room. You deserve tools and information so you can confidently decide what you want. This podcast is not about forcing you to stay. It’s not about forcing you to leave. It’s about helping you: Understand what makes relationships work Learn what facilitates desire in marriage Reduce dependence on your relationship for your personal happiness Make informed, empowered choices This Week’s Invitation Treat your marriage with the same care you would give any other relationship you believed had real romantic potential. And see what happens. Connect Have questions?Have a story to share? Share your story with me here: complexcouplescoaching.com/questions If you need further help with this, this is the work that I do and I’m passionate about.If you’d like to learn more, I created a Free Guide called "When Your Spouse Comes Out: 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." You can download it here.  Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com Your emails help shape future episodes. You don’t have to face this alone.

    16 min

About

Welcome! This is a space where your marriage matters, your values matter, and your choices matter. I’m Heidi, a couples therapist and founder of Complex Couples Coaching. I help couples navigate complex marriages, especially where mixed-orientation, desire discrepancies, attraction changes, or mixed gender identity play a role. My goal is to help you see your relationship clearly and make decisions rooted in integrity rather than fear. Learn to navigate complicated issues so you can make choices and thrive in whatever choice you make. Join me as I share insights about marriage that specifically apply to your situation. I’ll walk you through complicated issues such as: • What to do when your husband or wife comes out as gay, bisexual or trans • Whether mixed-orientation marriages can thrive or just merely survive • How attraction works and if you have to give it up if you want to stay married • Loss of desire in long-term marriage and how to get it back • Navigating high-conflict situations in a way that increases self-respect • Working through feelings of resentment • Rebuilding trust after emotional betrayal or secrets Subscribe and join a community of people committed to allowing marriage to shape them into better humans.