Control or Be Controlled

Darlington Ogbuka

Most people aren’t in control of their lives they’re driven by habits, addictions, emotions, and distractions they don’t question. Control or Be Controlled explores discipline, self mastery, modern addiction, and the psychology of ambition. Through raw solo episodes and real conversations, it breaks down what it takes to take back control mentally, emotionally, and financially. No surface level motivation just honest, direct insight for those ready to live with intention and build consistency, focus, and long term growth in a distracted world. New Episodes Weekly

  1. 13h ago

    Wesley Farnsworth: When Faith Meets Fire—Trusting God When Life Doesn't Make Sense

    Many people believe faith is easy when life is going well. The real question is what happens when it isn't. What happens when the prayer goes unanswered? When the relationship doesn't heal? When the future becomes uncertain? When the thing you thought God was going to do never happens? Wesley Farnsworth—author, speaker, preacher, and host of the Unmasked with Wesley Farnsworth podcast—joins us for a raw and deeply honest conversation about faith, identity, healing, and personal transformation. His message is shaped not by theory, but by lived experience. Through seasons of hidden struggle, failure, disappointment, recovery, loss, and rebuilding, Wesley has learned that faith is not simply believing in God when life makes sense—it's learning to trust Him when it doesn't. Wesley is the author of The Blueprint of Becoming and the forthcoming book When Faith Meets Fire, which explores how God uses seasons of uncertainty, waiting, hardship, and pressure to refine our faith rather than destroy it. Before entering ministry, he spent fifteen years serving in and alongside the United States Air Force. Today, he speaks to churches, recovery ministries, men's groups, and podcast audiences about identity, surrender, perseverance, and what it looks like to keep moving forward when life doesn't go according to plan. In this episode, we explore: • What happens when life doesn't go the way you expected? • What's the difference between believing in God and truly trusting Him? • How do you keep faith when your prayers seem unanswered? • Why does God rarely waste our waiting? • What does it mean to be refined by fire rather than consumed by it? • Why do so many people live behind masks, and how do we begin removing them? • What's the difference between behavior modification and true transformation? • How do we stop letting our past define our future? • Why does honesty often accomplish what willpower cannot? • How do we rebuild after failure, loss, disappointment, or difficult seasons? Connect with Wesley Farnsworth: 🌐 Website: https://www.wesleyfarnsworth.com/ 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wesleyfarnsworth/ ▶️ YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@Unmasked-WF-Podcast 🐦 Twitter/X: https://x.com/unmasked_wf 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unmaskedwfpodcast 📝 Substack: https://substack.com/@wesleyfarnsworth Take Your Next Step: Visit Wesley's dedicated landing page for listeners. Instead of just hearing the conversation and moving on, you'll have one place to learn more about his story, explore his books and resources, subscribe to his email list, and receive free tools designed to help you take your next step. 🔗 https://wesleyfarnsworth.com/start/

  2. 15h ago

    Darrell Berry: Don't Ask, Don't Tell—A Mystery of Biological Warfare and Pentagon Secrets

    Darrell Berry—retired Army officer, intelligence veteran, and author—joins us for a fascinating conversation about his mystery novel. The story deals with a small group of high-ranking Pentagon officers and some congressmen who are trying to get rid of gay men and women in the military, all set against a backdrop of biological warfare. Darrell is a gay retired officer who served during the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" period. He also worked in the intelligence fields of biological agents produced worldwide (though he notes the book contains no secret information). He wrote the book because he loves mysteries, and although it is fiction, many of the ideas about gay service members ring true today. As he puts it: "This is NOT a gay book; it is a book that deals with gay members of the armed service." In this episode, we explore: • Although the book is fiction, is there some truth to the topic? • Did Darrell have a top secret job in the Army? • What was it like to serve during the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" period in the military? • Do you think the near tragedy in the book could happen today? • Are any of the characters based on real people Darrell knows? • Is Darrell considering a screenplay? • What is he working on next? Connect with Darrell Berry: 🌐 Website: http://www.dberrybooks.com/ Explore the Book: Visit Darrell's website to find an introduction to the author, a brief introduction to the book, press inquiries information, and the cost of the book. 🔗 http://www.dberrybooks.com/

  3. Oct 31

    John Pezoulas: From Bootstrapped to 100% Placement—Executive Search, Startup Life, and Fatherhood

    What does it take to bootstrap an executive search firm from nothing to a 100% placement success rate with an average time-to-hire of just 39 days? John Pezoulas—co-founder of Ready Set Exec and an executive search partner specializing in Sales, Marketing, HR, and Operations leadership—joins us for a candid conversation about talent acquisition, entrepreneurship, and balancing a fast-growing business with a busy home life. With over 15 years of recruiting experience across every level—from temp staffing to executive search—John has seen the full spectrum of how organizations hire, lead, and scale. Beyond recruiting, he's managed P&Ls up to $25M and led teams as large as 300, giving him a practical operator's perspective. As a father of three (including twins), he also shares authentic insights on resilience, leadership, and decision-making outside of work. In this episode, we explore: • Executive hiring and team building in the USA and Canada • Sales, marketing, HR, and operations leadership • Managing large teams, training, coaching, and developing them • The recruitment process and hiring strategies that actually work • Career planning, job search, and navigating the talent market • Startups, entrepreneurship, and bootstrapping from scratch • Remote work and the future of AI in hiring and work Connect with John Pezoulas: 🌐 Website: https://www.readysetexec.com/ 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnpezoulas/ ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ReadySetExec 🐦 Twitter/X: https://x.com/readysetexec Listen to His Podcast: Ready Set Exec: Leadership Podcast Explore Ready Set Exec: Visit the site for free information for job seekers—including free ebooks, knowledge articles, and salary guides—plus their events page and podcast. If a company is looking to hire or a person is looking for an executive role, they want to speak to you. 🔗 https://www.readysetexec.com/

  4. Oct 27

    Erik Oliver: The Tax Strategy Hidden Inside Your Building — Cost Segregation Explained

    What if your real estate investment could generate significant tax savings without buying another property? Many investors overlook the tax opportunities hiding inside buildings they already own. In this episode of Control or Be Controlled, Darlington sits down with Erik Oliver, Director of Client Solutions at Maven Cost Segregation and a nationally recognized cost segregation expert with more than a decade of experience helping real estate investors uncover potential tax savings. Erik explains how cost segregation works, why certain building components may be depreciated over shorter periods, and how strategic depreciation can help property owners improve cash flow and free up capital for future investments. Drawing on his experience working with hundreds of property owners, developers, commercial real estate investors, and CPAs, Erik breaks down complex tax rules into practical strategies investors can better understand and discuss with their tax professionals. In this conversation, we explore: What cost segregation is and how it can help real estate investorsThe tax strategy hidden inside commercial and investment propertiesHow accelerated depreciation may improve cash flowWhat investors need to understand about bonus depreciationCommon depreciation mistakes that could mean leaving potential tax savings unclaimedCost segregation myths, including concerns about IRS audits and tax recaptureWhen a cost segregation study makes financial sense—and when it might notHow investors can turn tax savings into capital for future growthThe questions every property owner should ask their CPA before pursuing a studyWhether you’re an experienced real estate investor, a commercial property owner, a developer, or someone building a property portfolio, this episode will help you better understand an often-overlooked part of real estate tax planning. Because taking control of your investments isn’t just about how much money you make. It’s also about understanding the rules, managing what you keep, and making informed decisions about what comes next. Explore your potential tax savings with Erik Oliver. Maven Cost Segregation offers property owners the opportunity to submit basic property information and receive a free, no-obligation, engineering-based cost segregation proposal. It provides a personalized estimate of potential accelerated depreciation and tax savings before you commit to a study. 🌐 Get your free proposal: https://www.mavencostseg.com/team/erik-oliver/ 💼 Connect with Erik on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erik-oliver-b800657/

  5. Oct 26

    Sherry Shaban: Why Diets Fail, Food Freedom & the Mindset Behind Lasting Transformation

    What if lasting transformation isn’t about pushing harder, eating less, or following another restrictive diet—but changing your relationship with food, movement, and yourself? In this episode of Control or Be Controlled, Darlington sits down with Sherry Shaban, creator of the Make Peace with Food™ Method and a nervous system expert with over 25 years of experience in health, fitness, and life coaching. After a near-paralysis experience forced Sherry to rethink her approach to healing, she discovered a different path to transformation—one that goes beyond physical results to address mindset, identity, habits, and the nervous system. Sherry challenges conventional dieting and fitness advice, helping people understand why they struggle to maintain results and how they can build a healthier, more sustainable relationship with food and their bodies. In this conversation, we explore: ● Why diets often fail and what to do instead ● The difference between achieving results and creating lasting transformation ● How your mindset and identity influence your habits and physical health ● What intuitive eating means and why Sherry challenges restrictive dieting ● The role of the nervous system in self-sabotage and personal change ● How Sherry overcame debilitating back pain and transformed her approach to health ● What it means to treat yourself like an athlete, regardless of your fitness level ● The habits that support consistency, resilience, and long-term progress ● How to build a healthier relationship with food without becoming controlled by rigid rules ● Why becoming unstoppable starts with changing how you think, live, and respond to challenges Sherry also shares insights from her work as a certified hypnotherapist, yoga practitioner, and osteopath, and explains how she brings together movement, mindset, and nervous system regulation to help people create meaningful change. Whether you’re struggling with dieting, chasing physical goals, recovering from setbacks, or trying to break patterns that keep holding you back, this conversation offers a different perspective on what it means to take control of your health and your life. Because transformation isn’t just about changing your body. It’s about building the mindset, habits, and relationship with yourself that allow change to last. Connect with Sherry Shaban and explore her resources: 🌐 Website and resources: https://www.sherryshaban.com/transform 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/makepeacewithfoodofficial 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sherryshaban/ ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZDsDeXdFBPiWbtdZFeQktw 🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@makepeacewithfoodofficial

  6. Sep 24

    Steve Ward: STEPS to a Better Life—How to Prevent Addiction and Help Families Thrive

    What if the key to preventing addiction and mental health struggles isn't waiting for a crisis—but taking small, practical steps toward a healthier, more integrated life right now? Steve Ward—founder and Executive Director of STEPS Ministries, author, speaker, and coach—joins us for a conversation about personal effectiveness, emotional well-being, spiritual growth, and the prevention of addiction and relapse. Steve Ward knows what it's like for people who are hurting, because he's been there. He struggled with alcoholism, and other members of his family dealt with substance abuse, mental health issues, and other problems as well. But he saw there are proven ways to not only prevent behavioral health issues but to live life better. Those dark times led him to leave the business world after 38 years at IBM and found a new nonprofit ministry to help people improve their lives and prevent compulsive issues from robbing them and their family of the peace and joy they deserve. He is the author of STEPS: A Daily Journey to a Better Life and Next Right Steps: How to Live Life Better, publishes the STEPS Journey Blog and a parenting blog, and hosts the Next Right Steps podcast. In this episode, Steve Ward shares the personal experiences that led him to found a nonprofit to help hurting people, what STEPS Ministries does and how the organization helps people, and why he believes anyone can take practical steps to improve their lives. He also discusses whether it's possible to prevent substance use and mental health issues—and how to do it. He explains what "proactive parenting" means and how it works, the risks facing teenagers and what families can do to avoid them, and how pre-teens and teenagers can learn practical life skills to help them thrive. Plus, he offers practical ways to deal with worry and anxiety, how to live more intentionally, and how to grow spiritually and learn more about faith and God. If you're struggling, you know someone who is, or you just want to get more out of life, this conversation with Steve Ward will give you practical steps you can take toward a more satisfying and effective lifestyle—and the peace, joy, and purpose you deserve. In this episode, we explore: · What personal experiences led Steve to found a nonprofit to help hurting people · What STEPS Ministries does and how the organization helps people · Why anyone can take practical steps to improve their lives · Is it possible to prevent substance use and mental health issues—and how? · What "proactive parenting" means and how it works · The risks facing teenagers and what families can do to avoid them · How pre-teens and teenagers can learn practical life skills to help them thrive · Ways people can deal with worry and anxiety · How to live more intentionally to make life better · What people can do to grow spiritually and learn more about faith and God · How to live life better one step at a time · How to live intentionally, reduce anxiety, and improve relationships · How parents can help their kids remain healthy and happy · How teenagers can thrive and avoid risks and temptations Connect with Steve Ward: · Website: https://lifeimprovementsteps.com/ · Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/STEPSMinistries/ · Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stepsministries/ · YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@stepsministries · LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steve-ward-steps/ · Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/stepsministries/ Listen to His Podcast: Next Right Steps https://lifeimprovementsteps.com/ Get His Books: STEPS: A Daily Journey to a Better Life and Next Right Steps: How to Live Life Better Available now https://lifeimprovementsteps.com/ Explore Resources: Whether you're struggling, you know someone who is, or you just want to get more out of life, the STEPS website offers articles, videos, podcasts, books, and online resources that offer help, healing, and hope. https://lifeimprovementsteps.com/

  7. Sep 24

    Joella Hopkins: The Aloha Advantage—Building Brands Through Culture, Community, and Connection

    What if the secret to building a brand people genuinely love isn't better design or cleverer marketing—but understanding people, culture, and community? Joella Hopkins—President of Branding Aloha and The Branding Teams, and a proud homegrown Oʻahu entrepreneur—joins us for a conversation about branding, multicultural marketing, and why the spirit of aloha is more than a Hawaiʻi tradition—it's a business philosophy. Joella Hopkins was born and raised on Oʻahu and is a graduate of Moanalua High School. While her career led her to the mainland, where she spent more than two decades building brands, leading marketing teams, and helping organizations grow, Hawaiʻi has always remained home. Today, through Branding Aloha, she helps businesses, nonprofits, hospitality brands, and entrepreneurs build brands that people genuinely connect with. She believes exceptional branding goes far beyond beautiful design or clever marketing—it begins with understanding people, culture, and community. By leading with authenticity, purpose, and strategy, she helps organizations create brands that people trust, remember, and enthusiastically recommend. In this episode, Joella Hopkins shares what branding really is, why some businesses become loved while others are simply chosen, and what growing up in Hawaiʻi taught her about business. She also discusses what mainland businesses can learn from the spirit of aloha, why multicultural marketing is about much more than translation, and what it means that every person has a personal brand. Plus, she reveals the biggest branding mistake companies make, how to build a brand people love, and how entrepreneurship has changed her life. As a proud Latina raised in Hawaiʻi, she brings multiple cultural lenses to her work and a passion for storytelling, entrepreneurship, and building brands that bring people together rather than divide them. If you're a business owner, marketer, or entrepreneur who wants to build a brand that people trust, remember, and recommend—or you're curious about how culture and community can transform your business—this conversation with Joella Hopkins will give you practical strategies, real-world experience, and actionable insights to help you grow while staying true to who you are. In this episode, we explore: · What branding really is · Why some businesses become loved while others are simply chosen · What growing up in Hawaiʻi taught Joella about business · What mainland businesses can learn from the spirit of aloha · Why multicultural marketing is about much more than translation · What it means that every person has a personal brand · The biggest branding mistake companies make · How to build a brand people love · How entrepreneurship has changed Joella's life · The Aloha Advantage: applying Hawaiian values to modern business · Why AI will change marketing—but human connection will always win · Culture isn't a checkbox: the future of multicultural marketing · From Oʻahu to the mainland and back: lessons in entrepreneurship, branding, and coming home · If every listener remembered one thing, what it would be Connect with Joella Hopkins: · Website: https://www.brandingaloha.com · Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brandingaloha/ Learn More: Visit BrandingAloha.com to continue the conversation or learn how the spirit of aloha can transform your brand. https://www.brandingaloha.com

  8. Sep 24

    Savio P. Clemente: Clarity Fails First—Adaptive Resilience and Performing Under Prolonged Pressure

    What happens to human performance when pressure lasts longer than expected—and what if the first thing to fail isn't your performance, but your clarity? Savio P. Clemente—keynote and TEDx speaker, journalist, board-certified health and wellness coach, and bestselling author—joins us for a conversation about leadership, decision-making, resilience, and what happens when pressure doesn't simply go away. Savio P. Clemente explores what happens to human performance when pressure lasts longer than expected. His work sits at the intersection of leadership, decision-making, resilience, and human performance, helping leaders understand why clarity, judgment, and performance can begin to deteriorate after prolonged pressure—even when they appear to be doing fine on the outside. As a journalist, he has interviewed more than 2,000 leaders, experts, and thought leaders, while his own experience surviving cancer twice reshaped how he thinks about uncertainty, resilience, identity, and decision-making under pressure. His Adaptive Resilience Leadership framework gives leaders practical ways to reduce cognitive overload, regain clarity, and perform consistently when the pressure does not simply go away. In this episode, Savio P. Clemente shares why clarity fails before performance does, what pressure actually does to the way we think, make decisions, relate to others, and recover, and how his own experience surviving cancer twice reshaped his understanding of resilience and identity. He also discusses executive decision-making under pressure, decision fatigue, cognitive overload, burnout and recovery, navigating uncertainty, and the lessons adversity can teach us about how we lead and live. He's especially interested in the space between surviving something and actually returning to full performance—a period that is often overlooked, yet it is where clarity, confidence, and decision quality can quietly change. If you're a leader navigating prolonged pressure, uncertainty, or the kind of stress that doesn't simply go away—or you're curious about how to sustain performance without burning out—this conversation with Savio P. Clemente will give you practical frameworks, research-informed perspectives, and stories from both his work and lived experience. In this episode, we explore: · Why clarity fails before performance does · What pressure does to the way we think, make decisions, relate to others, and recover · How surviving cancer twice reshaped Savio's understanding of resilience and identity · Executive decision-making and leadership under pressure · Decision fatigue and cognitive overload · Burnout and recovery · Navigating uncertainty · Human performance and the space between surviving and returning to full performance · Identity after disruption · The lessons adversity can teach us about how we lead and live · The Adaptive Resilience Leadership framework · How to reduce cognitive overload, regain clarity, and perform consistently when pressure doesn't go away · Head, heart, and gut intelligence for better decisions under pressure Connect with Savio P. Clemente: · Substack: https://thehumanresolve.substack.com · LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saviopclemente/ · Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saviopclemente/ · Website: https://www.saviopclemente.com/ Subscribe to His Newsletter: The Human Resolve®—Savio's weekly Substack newsletter where he shares practical strategies for navigating life and leadership after disruption. Each issue focuses on head, heart, and gut intelligence, helping leaders think clearly, reduce cognitive load, and make better decisions under pressure. https://thehumanresolve.substack.com

4.9
out of 5
26 Ratings

About

Most people aren’t in control of their lives they’re driven by habits, addictions, emotions, and distractions they don’t question. Control or Be Controlled explores discipline, self mastery, modern addiction, and the psychology of ambition. Through raw solo episodes and real conversations, it breaks down what it takes to take back control mentally, emotionally, and financially. No surface level motivation just honest, direct insight for those ready to live with intention and build consistency, focus, and long term growth in a distracted world. New Episodes Weekly