EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids

Dr. Taylor Day
  • 4.8 (69)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

welcome to a parenting space actually designed for YOU! where you can get answers about navigating a life that includes autism. I’m Dr. Tay, a licensed child psychologist specializing in autism and neuroaffirming care. I have supported 100s of autistic children and their families and have been in the autism field for over a decade. on this podcast, we focus on supporting your autistic child AND your whole family, including you! every topic is on the table, and your questions (which you can submit through my social media) inspire the episodes created. I share some of my personal stories growing up with a brother who was diagnosed at 23 months of age as well as feature other families' stories so you know you are not navigating this journey alone. this is a space for you to be SEEN. HEARD. SUPPORTED. and get reputable and reliable information about autism instead of searching Google endlessly for hours. I am so dang grateful that you are here. ***disclaimer: not clinical advice, for educational purposes only*** subscribe to this podcast by hitting the plus or follow button so you don't miss an episode.

  1. 6d ago

    228 | when should you push your autistic child… and when should you accommodate?

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇this is one of the hardest questions for parents, especially during back-to-school season when routines are changing, anxiety may be higher, and your child’s capacity can shift quickly. in this episode, dr. tay shares a practical framework she uses often with clinical families: is this a little hard or too hard? you’ll learn how to recognize signs that something may be flooding your child’s nervous system, how to think about accommodations without over-accommodating, and why the goal is not to remove every challenge... but to help your child stay in that “little hard” zone where growth, confidence, and resilience can happen. this framework applies to school transitions, anxiety, exposure work, leaving the house, after-school recovery, and everyday parenting decisions at home. in this episode, you'll hear:how to tell the difference between “a little hard” and “too hard”why pushing too hard can flood your child’s nervous systemwhat shutdown, withdrawal, meltdowns, and rebound effects may be communicatinghow accommodations can make something more accessiblewhy over-accommodation can unintentionally limit skill-buildinghow exposure work can be done in a neurodiversity-affirming waywhy autonomy, agency, and trust matter when supporting anxietyhow to use small exposures to build confidence and capacitywhy back-to-school transitions may require more support at firsthow to introduce this language to your child over time timestamps00:00 introduction to the capacity framework for supporting kids 03:10 the chaos of back-to-school and resource creation 06:02 understanding “a little hard” vs. “too hard” in child tasks 07:26 supporting autistic kids in school and alternative settings 08:57 the role of exposure therapy and gradual challenges 10:37 gradual exposure and building autonomy in kids 13:12 resources and masterclasses for school support 14:40 practical examples of exposure at home 17:07 balancing accommodation and challenge in support strategies 19:22 tapering accommodations and supporting capacity growth 20:51 using parental intuition to gauge hardness levels 21:52 encouraging communication and self-awareness in kids 22:48 summary and resources for back-to-school support resources⚡️ Small Things, Smooth School Year Masterclass — a back-to-school masterclass to help you prepare for the school year, communicate with your child’s teacher, and create proactive supports ⚡️ School Avoidance Masterclass — available inside EVOLVE the membership (sign up here) for parents navigating school avoidance, refusal, or difficulty accessing school. includes monthly masterclasses, weekly Q+A, and ongoing educational support for parents of autistic kids hosted on a private podcast feed ⚡️ episode 196 and 204 are additional resources for this episode ⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, parenting insights, and back-to-school support

  2. Aug 6

    227 | back to school with an autistic child: the fear no one talks about

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇back-to-school season can bring a lot of chaos: new routines, supply lists, schedules, classroom changes, and the mental shift from summer mode into school mode. but for parents of autistic kids, there is often another layer underneath all of that: fear. will the teacher understand your child? will classmates be kind? will supports actually be in place? will your child be misunderstood, expected to mask, or come home completely dysregulated after holding it together all day? in this episode, dr. tay talks about the complicated emotions that can come with back-to-school season, including uncertainty, anxiety, grief, and the pressure parents often feel to make sure everyone understands their child. you’ll also hear practical ways to move from reactive mode into proactive support, including communicating with teachers early, creating an “about me” card, supporting school visits, and helping your child be understood before misunderstandings happen. in this episode, you'll hear:why back-to-school season can bring up fear, grief, and uncertainty for parentshow the transition from summer to school can impact autistic kids and their nervous systemswhy even a good summer can create fear of regressionhow to name and validate your own emotions instead of pushing them awaywhy proactive communication with teachers matterswhat to include in an “about me” card for your childhow school visits and early relationship-building can support the transitionwhy accepting your child’s autism as part of who they are helps with support planninghow to take meaningful action even when anxiety or grief are present timestamps00:00 introduction: emotions and chaos of back to school 01:36 transitioning from summer to school routine 02:40 the uncertainty of school support and environment 03:39 subconscious fears and parental worries 05:08 support needs and teacher understanding 07:02 naming and validating emotions 08:19 proactive support and communication strategies 09:30 creating 'about me' cards and school visits 15:23 communicating needs to teachers effectively 17:20 managing emotions and taking action 18:46 upcoming masterclass and resources 21:10 final encouragement and wrap-up resources⚡️ Back-to-School Masterclass — learn how to proactively support your autistic child’s school transition, communicate with teachers, and create an “about me” card that helps your child be better understood. join us live on Friday 8/7/26 or catch it on-demand via a private podcast feed. $17. ⚡️ EVOLVE the membership — monthly masterclasses (including the back-to-school masterclass) and opportunity for weekly Q+A, such as deeper support around helping your child understand their diagnosis and building neurodiversity-affirming support at home. $37/mo. ⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, parenting insights, and back-to-school support

  3. Jul 30

    226 | 5 questions that could change your autistic child’s summer

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇summer can bring up a lot for families of autistic kids: disrupted routines, shifting expectations, more time together, camp logistics, screen time questions, recovery needs, and the constant pressure to figure out what your child needs right now. in this episode, dr. tay shares five reflective questions to help you pause, reassess, and create more clarity around your family’s summer rhythm. rather than focusing on a perfect schedule, this episode invites you to think about your child’s nervous system needs, your own regulation, the expectations you may be carrying, and what you actually want summer to feel like for your family. and even if summer is already more than halfway over — or almost over— these questions can still help you make the remaining weeks feel more grounded, flexible, and connected. in this episode, you'll hear:how to identify whether your child needs more structure, autonomy, or recoverywhy anchor points can create predictability without becoming rigidhow subconscious expectations can create disappointment or dysregulationwhy your own regulation matters during summersmall ways to build self-care and support into your dayshow to define what you want summer to feel like for your familyhow the Summer Rhythm Masterclass can help you create a flexible rhythm that works for your child’s nervous system timestamps00:00 introduction: reflecting on summer and key questions 01:00 assessing your child's needs: structure, autonomy, or recovery 02:22 creating predictability with anchor points 03:17 shifting expectations and modeling flexibility 04:34 parent self-regulation and self-care strategies 09:21 envisioning your ideal summer experience 12:18 using AI to develop a summer rhythm 14:07 the summer rhythm masterclass and mindset shifts 15:29 resources, support, and building your summer plan 17:27 conclusion: embracing flexibility and reflection resources⚡️ Summer Rhythm Masterclass — a $17 private podcast training and companion guide to help you understand your child’s nervous system, identify whether they need more structure, autonomy, or recovery, and create a flexible rhythm that works for your family ⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education and parenting insights

  4. Jul 22

    225 | what autism can actually look like: 6 profiles you might recognize

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇autism does not look one way. in this episode, dr. tay walks through several common autism profiles she sees in clinical practice, including more nuanced and high-masking presentations that are often missed, misunderstood, or explained away as anxiety, behavior, personality, or “just being sensitive.” through six composite profiles, dr. tay breaks down how autistic traits can show up across children, toddlers, adolescents, and late-diagnosed adults. you’ll hear examples of differences in social communication, sensory needs, rigidity, masking, emotion regulation, language development, and special interests. this episode is especially helpful if you’re trying to better understand your child’s autistic traits, exploring your own neurotype, or trying to recognize autism beyond the stereotypical presentations. in this episode, you'll hear:how high-masking and nuanced autism presentations can be missedhow anxiety, behavior, sensory differences, and autism can overlapwhat autism may look like in verbally fluent childrenhow demand avoidance and advanced language can mask support needswhat early delays, sensory needs, and gestalt language processing can look likewhy literal thinking and emotional intensity may point to autistic traitshow autism can present in late-diagnosed adults, especially parentswhy diagnostic patterns matter more than one isolated trait timestamps00:00 introduction to autism profiles and why they matter 01:52 understanding the diversity of autism presentations 05:07 profile a: anxious verbally fluent child 08:57 profile b: demand avoidant adolescent 15:09 profile c: preschooler with early delays 19:12 profile d: minimally verbal toddler with gestalt language 22:46 profile e: highly literal and emotionally intense child 25:50 profile f: the late-diagnosed, intellectually intense adult 30:14 summary and resources for understanding autism traits resources⚡️ Autism Traits Guide — a $7 parent-friendly resource that breaks down autism diagnostic criteria and shares examples of how traits can show up across ages, support needs, and presentations ⚡️ episodes 4, 110, and 114 are referenced in this episode ⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education and parenting insights

  5. Jul 15

    224 | building a business that serves families... and me

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇this episode is a behind-the-scenes look at the next evolution of dr. tay’s work. she shares why she is pivoting parts of her business — not because she is stepping away from the work, but because she is leaning more deeply into the parts of the work that feel most aligned, impactful, and connected to her values. she reflects on her journey from academia to private practice, the pivotal moments that shaped Dr. Tay Concierge Clinical Care, and why she is now creating more depth within her clinical services while also building more accessible educational resources for families. this episode is also about trusting the process, listening to intuition, taking bold steps before everything is fully clear, and building a business that supports both the families she serves and her own nervous system capacity. in this episode, you'll hear:why dr. tay is pivoting her business and what is guiding that shiftthe story behind how her clinical practice beganhow leaving academia shaped the work she does nowwhy aligned work matters for clinical impact and sustainabilityhow dr. tay is thinking about deeper support after an autism diagnosiswhy she is creating an evaluation toolkit for families navigating the diagnostic processhow in-home intensives may support families in a more immediate, real-life waywhy scalable resources and high-touch clinical care can both matterthe connection between parental mental health, intuition, and nervous system capacitywhat is coming next in dr. tay’s resource ecosystem timestamps00:00 behind the scenes: why dr. tay is pivoting her business 02:26 origin story of dr. tay’s practice and business milestones 06:28 the power of seizing pivotal moments and trusting instincts 10:45 the ongoing evolution and diversification of clinical and educational offerings 13:36 why she’s shifting toward deeper family support and educational resources 16:36 creating a comprehensive evaluation toolkit for families 20:01 building a pathway for families pre- and post-diagnosis 22:21 trusting your intuition and planning for future life stages 25:33 the role of intuition and external nudges in business growth 28:12 connecting with the community through social media and resources resources⚡️ Autism Traits Guide — learn how autistic traits can show up across ages, support needs, and presentations so you can better understand what you’re noticing ⚡️ Summer Rhythm Masterclass — learn how to understand your child’s nervous system, identify their unique summer profile, and create a flexible rhythm that works for your family ⚡️ Couples Masterclass — support for couples navigating parenting, communication, conflict patterns, and the mental load of raising an autistic child ⚡️ High Masking Autism CE Training — continuing education training for clinicians who want to better understand and identify high-masking autism presentations ⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com. schedule a consult call and we can chat about the Immersive Evaluations and In-Home Intensives. ⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes updates, and parenting insights

  6. Jul 10

    223 | why getting started is the hardest part

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇if you've ever found yourself researching, planning, making lists... but still feeling stuck, this episode is for you. whether it's making changes to screen time, starting therapy, sending the email you've been avoiding, or finally taking the first step toward a recommendation, the hardest part of behavior change is almost always getting started. in this episode, dr. tay shares a theme that unexpectedly emerged during a group therapy session: thinking isn't action. she explores why overthinking often keeps parents stuck, how to create momentum through small, meaningful steps, and why progress doesn't require the perfect plan... it simply requires getting started. in this episode, you'll hear:why getting started is often the hardest part of behavior changehow overthinking and over-researching can keep parents stuckpractical ways to decide what first step to takethe difference between researching and creating real changehow to build momentum through small, intentional actionsexamples of applying this mindset to screen time, therapy, school, and everyday parenting decisions timestamps0:00 the hardest part is getting started 1:34 overthinking vs. action 2:37 example with overthinking screen time and over-accommodation 7:22 three strategies for getting unstuck and creating momentum 12:52 over-researching as a form of self-sabotage 16:19 call-to-action to do one thing NOW! resources⚡️ listen to the screentime masterclass by joining EVOLVE the membership ⚡️ explore dr. tay's clinical services and other resources at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education and parenting insights

  7. Jul 3

    222 | why more structure isn't fixing your summer

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇if summer has already felt harder than you expected, you're not alone. many parents assume the solution is more structure, a better schedule, or keeping their child busier. but what if the real challenge isn't the schedule at all? in this episode, dr. tay explores why summer often feels so dysregulating for autistic kids and their families, how to identify what your child's nervous system is actually asking for, and why flexibility—not rigidity—is often the missing piece. you'll also learn about dr. tay's framework of the structure seeker, autonomy craver, and shape shifter, and how understanding your child's unique profile can help you create a summer rhythm that actually works. in this episode, you'll hear:why adding more structure isn't always the solutionhow to recognize your child's underlying nervous system needsthe difference between rigidity and flexibility in parentingintroduction dr. tay's three structure profiles: structure seeker, autonomy craver, and shape shifterwhy matching expectations to your child's capacity can change your entire summerhow to create a flexible summer rhythm that works for your family timestamps00:00 why summer feels so hard for many families 03:40 understanding your child's nervous system needs 06:02 when more structure creates more rigidity 09:02 introducing the summer rhythm framework 12:33 looking beneath behavior to identify the real need 16:21 letting go of the "perfect" summer 17:46 matching your child's capacity throughout the summer resources⚡️ grab the Summer Rhythm Masterclass for only $17 — learn how to understand your child's nervous system, identify their unique structure profile, and create a flexible rhythm that works for your family (note: if you are part of EVOLVE the membership, you have access to this masterclass in your private podcast feed) ⚡️ explore Dr. Tay's clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ follow @the.dr.tay on Instagram for practical autism education and parenting insights

  8. Jun 25

    221 | why your hormonal health matters more than you think

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇this episode is a little different... but if you're parenting an autistic child, it may be one of the more important conversations we can have. your health is part of the foundation that supports your family, and that includes your hormonal health. using her own health journey as a starting point, dr. tay explores why understanding your cycle, hormones, and overall health may be one of the most overlooked parts of supporting yourself as a parent. this episode is an invitation to get curious about your body, recognize patterns in your mood, energy, and regulation, and advocate for yourself when something feels off—because your health deserves the same attention and compassion you so often give everyone else. in this episode, you'll hear:why understanding your cycle can improve self-awareness and regulationhow hormonal health can influence mood, energy, and parenting capacitythe overlap between hormonal health and neurodivergencewhy tracking your cycle can help you recognize meaningful patternshow Dr. Tay's own health journey inspired her to better understand her bodywhy trusting your instincts and advocating for your own health matters timestamps00:00 why hormonal health matters for parents of autistic kids 03:05 advocating for yourself when something feels off 06:18 understanding your cycle and recognizing your patterns 10:00 why your health is part of your parenting foundation 15:37 the overlap between hormones and neurodivergence 18:03 trusting your instincts and getting curious about your body 21:18 your health matters too resources⚡️ explore Dr. Tay's clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ follow me on Instagram and share your thoughts about this episode @the.dr.tay

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4.8
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About

welcome to a parenting space actually designed for YOU! where you can get answers about navigating a life that includes autism. I’m Dr. Tay, a licensed child psychologist specializing in autism and neuroaffirming care. I have supported 100s of autistic children and their families and have been in the autism field for over a decade. on this podcast, we focus on supporting your autistic child AND your whole family, including you! every topic is on the table, and your questions (which you can submit through my social media) inspire the episodes created. I share some of my personal stories growing up with a brother who was diagnosed at 23 months of age as well as feature other families' stories so you know you are not navigating this journey alone. this is a space for you to be SEEN. HEARD. SUPPORTED. and get reputable and reliable information about autism instead of searching Google endlessly for hours. I am so dang grateful that you are here. ***disclaimer: not clinical advice, for educational purposes only*** subscribe to this podcast by hitting the plus or follow button so you don't miss an episode.

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