EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids

Dr. Taylor Day
  • 4.8 (69)
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welcome to a parenting space actually designed for YOU! where you can get answers about navigating a life that includes autism. I’m Dr. Tay, a licensed child psychologist specializing in autism and neuroaffirming care. I have supported 100s of autistic children and their families and have been in the autism field for over a decade. on this podcast, we focus on supporting your autistic child AND your whole family, including you! every topic is on the table, and your questions (which you can submit through my social media) inspire the episodes created. I share some of my personal stories growing up with a brother who was diagnosed at 23 months of age as well as feature other families' stories so you know you are not navigating this journey alone. this is a space for you to be SEEN. HEARD. SUPPORTED. and get reputable and reliable information about autism instead of searching Google endlessly for hours. I am so dang grateful that you are here. ***disclaimer: not clinical advice, for educational purposes only*** subscribe to this podcast by hitting the plus or follow button so you don't miss an episode.

  1. 1D AGO

    210 | confusion isn't the problem in autism parenting. this is...

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇feeling confused about what to do next with your child? most parents assume that means they need more information. more strategies. more answers. but what if that’s actually the thing keeping you stuck? in this episode, we’re talking about why confusion isn’t a problem to fix and how constantly searching for more information can actually create more overwhelm. if you’ve been overthinking, second-guessing, or feeling like you should “know more” by now… this episode will help you slow down, reconnect, and find clarity in a completely different way. in this episode, you’ll hear:why confusion doesn’t mean you’re failing and how it can actually guide your next stepshow overconsuming information can keep you stuck in a cycle of overwhelmwhat it looks like to “slow down to speed up” in your parenting decisionshow to ground yourself in what you already know to be true about your childwhy not all autism parenting content is relevant to you at every stagea simple “bucket” framework to help you organize what to focus on now vs laterwhy going deeper (not wider) is often the key to clarityhow to take your next step without needing to have everything figured out timestamps00:00 embracing confusion in parenting 03:44 finding your rhythm: the beat of parenting 06:47 judgment and acceptance in parenting 09:25 navigating information overload 12:25 understanding different stages of parenting 15:10 actionable takeaways for parents 17:49 creating clarity amidst confusion 20:33 building foundations for future growth 24:02 the journey of self-discovery in parenting resources⚡️need support in finding your next best steps? join EVOLVE the membership and submit your questions for dr. tay to answer ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services ⚡️ share your insights from this episode with me >> instagram → @the.dr.tay email → tay@drtaycoaching.com

    30 min

  2. APR 1

    209 | what autism acceptance actually means (and why this month can feel like a lot)

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇April is "autism month" and with it comes more conversations, more content, and more opinions. and while that can be incredibly valuable… it can also feel overwhelming. for many parents, this month brings up a mix of emotions: gratitude, frustration, confusion, and sometimes even pressure to feel a certain way about your child’s diagnosis. in this episode, Dr. Tay breaks down what autism acceptance actually means — beyond the surface-level messaging — and why this concept can feel harder than it sounds. you’ll also hear how to navigate the increased noise during this month, protect your own capacity, and begin to define what acceptance looks like in your real, day-to-day parenting. in this episode, you’ll hear:the difference between autism awareness and autism acceptance (and why both still matter)what “acceptance” actually means from a psychological perspective (not just the mainstream definition)why this month can feel overwhelming, overstimulating, or even frustrating for parentshow increased conversations can sometimes lead to conflict, misinformation, or pressurepermission to step back, disconnect, or set boundaries during this monthhow to balance gratitude for awareness with protecting your own nervous systemwhat it looks like to move toward acceptance while still holding space for griefwhy acceptance is not a one-time decision, but an ongoing process in your parenting journeyhow to define what acceptance looks like for you and your family timestamps00:00 understanding autism month: awareness vs. acceptance 09:02 the importance of acceptance in autism 18:09 defining acceptance: beyond the surface 26:51 navigating emotions: acceptance in parenting 34:04 embracing the journey of acceptance resources⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership to have your questions answered and have more in-depth education like you heard in today's episode ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services ⚡️ follow me on instagram → @the.dr.tay tiktok → @the.dr.tay

    37 min

  3. MAR 25

    208 | what does an autism evaluation look like as an adult? (and is it worth it?)

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇you started this journey trying to understand your child… and somewhere along the way, you started to notice traits yourself in it too. for many parents, this moment is both clarifying and confusing. you recognize the patterns. but then the question becomes: what do I actually do? in this episode, dr. tay walks through what it looks like to explore your own neurodivergence as an adult, including when self-identification feels enough and when you might want more clarity. she also breaks down what an autism evaluation can actually look like for adults (and why it often doesn’t need to be the same long, overwhelming process many families go through with their children). in this episode, you’ll hear:why so many parents begin to question their own neurotype after their child’s diagnosiswhat self-identification can offer and when it may or may not feel sufficienthow masking, learned behaviors, and life experiences can make it harder to recognize autism in yourselfwhy adult autism is often missed or misidentified earlier in lifewhat a comprehensive autism evaluation is designed to assess and why that model doesn’t always fit adult needshow adult evaluations can be more streamlined, collaborative, and focused on lived experiencewhat clarity, validation, and outside perspective can offer beyond self-explorationhow an evaluation can support not just you but your parenting and your relationship with your childthe difference between needing “all the data” vs. needing confirmation and next stepshow to think about whether an evaluation is the right next step for you timestamps00:00 Understanding Neurodivergence in Families 10:04 The Importance of Self-Identification 19:10 Navigating Evaluations and Diagnoses 28:31 Finding Clarity and Supporting resources⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services, including booking a free consult call for our adult evaluations ⚡️ explore DSM-5-TR diagnostic criteria for autism (made accessible by @blackspectrumscholar as part of their free resource library) ⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership to have you questions answered like mentioned in today's episode ⚡️ follow me on instagram → @the.dr.tay tiktok → @the.dr.tay

    31 min

  4. MAR 19

    207 | everything feels connected… where do I even start? untangling complex autism needs

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇do you ever feel like there are a million things going on with your child and no clear place to start? maybe you’re wondering if it’s autism. or anxiety. or adhd. or something else entirely. and every time you try to figure it out, it just feels more tangled. in this episode, dr. tay walks you through how to untangle the overwhelm, without needing all the answers first. using the analogy of a tangled ball of yarn, she breaks down how to find your starting point, build momentum, and take meaningful action (instead of staying stuck in overthinking). in this episode, you’ll hear:why autism (and co-occurring differences like anxiety or adhd) can feel like a “tangled web” and how to start making sense of ithow a comprehensive evaluation can bring clarity (and when it might not be the only next step)how to identify what’s actually driving your child’s challenges, even when everything feels connectedsimple ways to collect data and spot patterns in your child’s day-to-day experienceshow to collaborate with your child’s clinical team (even if you only have limited access to them)when learning more is helpful… and when it turns into overconsumption that keeps you stuckhow tools like AI can support pattern recognition (without replacing clinical judgment)the most important shift: why action creates clarity (not the other way around) timestamps00:00 navigating the overwhelm of “where do i start?” 03:50 understanding autism evaluations and differential diagnosis 07:01 why comprehensive evaluations can bring clarity 09:45 identifying underlying factors (anxiety, adhd, and more) 12:42 using data to recognize patterns 16:34 collaboration, ai tools, and building insight 19:19 taking action and finding your next step 21:55 exploring therapy options and supports 24:59 moving out of overconsumption and into momentum 28:01 final reflections and next steps resources⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership to ask your burning questions and watch the masterclass on looping and cognitive inflexibility ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services, including comprehensive evaluations and group therapy support ⚡️ follow me on instagram → @the.dr.tay tiktok → @the.dr.tay

    33 min

  5. MAR 12

    206 | will an autism diagnosis help or hurt my child?

    is an autism diagnosis actually helpful for your child — or could it hurt them? many parents hesitate to pursue an evaluation because they worry about labels, stigma, or putting their child “in a box.” but avoiding the diagnosis doesn’t change whether your child is autistic. what it changes is how clearly you understand your child and how effectively you can support them. in this episode of EVOLVE with Dr. Tay, we break down both the logistical and emotional realities of autism diagnosis. Dr. Tay explains why a diagnosis can unlock support, provide language for self-understanding, and help families move toward greater acceptance and advocacy while also acknowledging the grief and stigma that can arise along the way. this episode is especially helpful if you’re in the pre-diagnosis stage or if your child was recently diagnosed and you’re still processing what that means for your family. in this episode, you’ll hear:why an autism diagnosis doesn’t change your child and instead gives clarity on how to support themthe logistical benefits of diagnosis, including access to services and support systemshow evaluations create a roadmap for understanding your child’s strengths and support needsthe emotional side of diagnosis, including grief and adjustment for parents and childrenwhy many autistic adults wish they had known their diagnosis earlierhow giving your child language to understand their brain can support self-acceptancehow stigma and ableism influence how families think about diagnosiswhy avoiding the label can unintentionally reinforce shame or confusionhow parents can help shape a neurodiversity-affirming narrative about autism timestamps00:00 understanding autism diagnosis: a parent’s dilemma 06:54 logistical benefits of an autism diagnosis 13:36 emotional aspects of autism diagnosis 19:06 navigating stigma and self-advocacy resources⚡️ learn more about autism evaluations through Dr. Tay Concierge Clinical Care https://drtaylorday.com ⚡️ if your child already has a diagnosis and you’re wondering how to talk with them about it, check out the masterclass inside EVOLVE the membership https://drtaylorday.com/membership ⚡️ continue learning from me >> Instagram @the.dr.tay TikTok @the.dr.tay

    25 min

  6. MAR 7

    205 | is medication the missing piece? what it can do for your autistic child

    when should medication be part of your child’s support plan? for many parents of autistic kids, medication feels heavy. scary. final. like something you only consider when everything else has failed. but what if medication isn’t a cure-all or a last resort — what if it’s simply one tool in the toolkit? in this episode, Dr. Tay breaks down the nuanced role medication can play in supporting autistic children, especially when dysregulation, capacity, and mental health are limiting your child’s ability to access therapy, accommodations, or even their own joy. this isn’t about quick fixes. it’s about expanding capacity. in this episode, you’ll hear:00:00 introduction to medication support for autistic children 00:27 common misconceptions about medication 00:56 benefits and considerations for medication use 01:23 medication alongside therapeutic approaches 02:16 research insights on medication and behavioral support 03:08 using medication for anxiety and emotional dysregulation 03:33 recognizing when medication might be needed 04:03 indicators of nervous system dysregulation in therapy 05:06 medication as a tool 06:14 understanding stimulant medications (e.g., adderall, ritalin) 06:43 the “capacity cup” metaphor 07:38 teaching internal regulation alongside medication 09:28 anxiety management and exposure-based therapies 10:39 environmental stressors and medication’s role 12:29 medication optimization and careful dosing 13:20 addressing fears about personality loss and side effects 14:42 weighing risks and benefits to improve quality of life 15:31 advocacy tips for working with prescribing providers 16:42 invitation to medication consideration masterclass 17:11 closing remarks resources⚡️ episodes referenced include 94 and 139 with Dr. Arielle Rubin and 177 with Dr. Stacy Greeter ⚡️ medication consideration masterclass (inside EVOLVE the membership): join here >> https://drtaylorday.com/membership ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + clinical services: https://drtaylorday.com

    19 min

  7. FEB 26

    204 | am I doing too much... or not enough?

    are you constantly wondering if you’re doing too much… or not enough… for your autistic child? in autism parenting, it can feel like every decision is high stakes. you hear “lower demands.” you hear “do exposure.” you hear “presume competence.” you hear autistic voices sharing lived experience. and somehow, you’re still left wondering what actually applies to your child. this episode won’t give you a black-and-white formula. but it will help you understand how to think through this question in a grounded, regulated way — and how to navigate the tension between accommodation and over accommodation without swinging to extremes. in this episode, you’ll hear:why nothing in autism parenting is black and whitehow to filter research, professional advice, and autistic voiceswhat accommodation vs overaccommodation actually meanswhy overaccommodating anxiety can unintentionally reinforce ithow “low demand” can slide into eggshell parentingwhen to gently peel back support to presume competencehow to use trial and error without turning it into self-blame timestamps00:00 the importance of nuance in autism parenting 03:05 navigating accommodation vs over accommodation 11:29 understanding exposure therapy and its nuances 16:08 balancing structure and flexibility in parenting 23:08 empowering autonomy and self-advocacy in children resources⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership and be live for the upcoming masterclass on this topic (March 2026) ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services ⚡️ follow me on instagram → @the.dr.tay tiktok → @the.dr.tay

    27 min

  8. FEB 11

    203 | from shame to strategy: rethinking screen time with Ash Brandin

    ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇 screen time doesn’t have to be all or nothing. in this episode, Dr. Tay sits down with Ash Brandin, @thegamereducator and author of Power On, to talk about balancing technology in a way that feels realistic, empowering, and aligned with your child’s brain, especially in neurodivergent children. this conversation moves beyond fear-based messaging and into nuance — exploring regulation, accommodations, executive functioning, transitions, and digital safety through a neurodiversity-affirming lens. in this episode:why screen time is morally neutral and why that mattershow video games can support executive functioning and skill buildingusing screen time as data about how your child’s brain workswhy some content is more dysregulating than otherspractical strategies for transitions off screenshow to scaffold digital safety over time timestamps00:00 introduction and today’s topic: screen time and technology 00:37 meet Ash Brandin 02:47 Ash’s journey to educating parents on technology 04:50 the importance of neutrality in technology use 06:10 balancing screen time: practical tips and insights 18:18 teaching technology skills: a lifelong approach 22:40 the benefits of screen time for autistic children 25:15 video games as accommodating environments 27:22 observing and learning from kids’ screen time 27:44 addressing hesitancy in using accommodations 29:58 engaging with kids through screen time 30:40 the importance of digital safety 31:48 exploring the book’s structure and key concepts 32:13 understanding access, behavior, and content in screen time 36:28 strategies for managing screen time transitions 40:04 final thoughts and resources RESOURCES ⚡️ follow Ash on Instagram and on Substack ⚡️ order Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family ⚡️ join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning. dive into the included masterclass to dive deeper into navigating screen time and its benefits for autistic kids ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning + submit questions for future episodes: Instagram → @the.dr.tay TikTok → @the.dr.tay

    47 min
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4.8
out of 5
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About

welcome to a parenting space actually designed for YOU! where you can get answers about navigating a life that includes autism. I’m Dr. Tay, a licensed child psychologist specializing in autism and neuroaffirming care. I have supported 100s of autistic children and their families and have been in the autism field for over a decade. on this podcast, we focus on supporting your autistic child AND your whole family, including you! every topic is on the table, and your questions (which you can submit through my social media) inspire the episodes created. I share some of my personal stories growing up with a brother who was diagnosed at 23 months of age as well as feature other families' stories so you know you are not navigating this journey alone. this is a space for you to be SEEN. HEARD. SUPPORTED. and get reputable and reliable information about autism instead of searching Google endlessly for hours. I am so dang grateful that you are here. ***disclaimer: not clinical advice, for educational purposes only*** subscribe to this podcast by hitting the plus or follow button so you don't miss an episode.

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