Filter Optional

Filter Optional

Addiction Counselor Chico West and his wife Shannon lend their years of experience to listeners from all walks of life offering a unique perspective from both the filter (Shannon) and the no filter (Chico). Welcome to Filter Optional.

  1. 5월 26일

    Proud vs. Grateful: Rethinking Parenting, Achievement & the Language We Use | #29

    In this episode of Filter Optional, Chico and Shannon West unpack a conversation that challenges one of the most common phrases in parenting culture: “You must be so proud.” After celebrating their son’s graduation from the University of Texas, Chico and Shannon explore the deeper meaning behind the word proud—and why they’ve intentionally chosen different language like grateful, delighted, and encouraged instead . This episode dives into how pride, achievement, identity, parenting, and ego can quietly become intertwined—and how shifting the focus away from ourselves creates healthier relationships and deeper emotional connection. Key Points Why the phrase “I’m proud of you” can unintentionally center the parent instead of the child  The difference between pride, gratitude, delight, and encouragement How parenting culture often ties a child’s success to parental identity Understanding “basking in reflected glory” and achievement-based validation Why healthy parenting means supporting both successes and failures The connection between pride, ego, self-awareness, and emotional health How gratitude creates deeper joy and connection than pride alone  Takeaway There’s nothing wrong with celebrating the people you love. But shifting from pride to gratitude changes the focus from “look what this says about me” to “look at the person they’re becoming.” That subtle shift creates more humility, deeper connection, and healthier relationships.

    40분
  2. 5월 19일

    Self-Awareness, High Maintenance & Emotional Capacity: Understanding How You’re Wired | #28

    In this episode of Filter Optional, Chico and Shannon West unpack one of the most important — and misunderstood — aspects of emotional health: self-awareness. What does it actually mean to be self-aware? And why do so many people think they are… while still repeating the same unhealthy patterns? Using humor, real-life marriage moments, and practical examples, Chico and Shannon explore the difference between self-awareness, self-absorption, defensiveness, emotional capacity, and understanding how you’re uniquely wired . They also introduce a practical framework around being: High or low maintenance High or low energy High or low productivity …and explain why none of these are inherently “good” or “bad.” The key is learning how to recognize your patterns, regulate your responses, and stop judging yourself (or others) through shame-based labels. Key Points Why most people overestimate their level of self-awareness The difference between self-awareness and self-absorption Why defensiveness is the enemy of growth Understanding internal vs. external self-awareness How high/low maintenance, energy, and productivity affect relationships Why emotional capacity and mental load matter in marriage and family dynamics The importance of introspection, accountability, and noticing patterns over time How self-awareness helps reduce blind spots and improve communication  Takeaway Self-awareness isn’t about perfection. It’s about being willing to honestly examine your patterns, own your impact, and understand how you’re wired without shame. The more self-aware you become, the less defensive you need to be — and the healthier your relationships become.

    45분
  3. 5월 12일

    Trauma & Psychedelics: Can the Brain Really Heal? What Is Ibogaine? | #27

    In this episode of Filter Optional, Chico and Shannon West step into a nuanced and vulnerable conversation about ibogaine therapy, psychedelics, trauma recovery, PTSD, addiction, and mental health healing. As psychedelics gain national attention—and states like Texas begin expanding research into ibogaine treatment—Chico and Shannon unpack the difference between hype, fear, and legitimate therapeutic potential . Drawing from addiction recovery work, trauma-informed care, and personal reflection, they explore how ibogaine may help “rewire” the brain for people struggling with PTSD, traumatic brain injuries, severe depression, and opioid addiction. They also discuss the growing cultural conversation around ayahuasca, ketamine, kratom, and medication-assisted treatment—and why discernment matters. This isn’t a conversation about escapism or recreational drug use. It’s about curiosity, healing, and asking difficult questions about how trauma impacts the brain and what true recovery can look like. What ibogaine is and how it differs from ayahuasca, ketamine, and other psychedelics Why ibogaine is gaining attention for PTSD, traumatic brain injury, and opioid addiction recoveryThe connection between trauma, inflammation, and brain healthHow unresolved memories and emotional pain can stay buried in the nervous systemWhy preparation, medical supervision, and intentionality matter in psychedelic-assisted therapyThe difference between healing tools and addictive escape behaviorsHow perspectives on mental health treatment can evolve over timeHealing sometimes requires looking honestly at what’s been buried. Whether through therapy, recovery work, spiritual practices, or emerging treatments like ibogaine, growth begins when we become willing to investigate the deeper roots of pain instead of only managing the symptoms. Key PointsTakeaway

    36분
  4. 4월 28일

    Marriage and Communication | #26

    In this episode of Filter Optional, Chico and Shannon West sit down with Dr. Jen and Dr. Jake Dean to explore what it really takes to build a healthy, connected marriage—at home and at work. From communication breakdowns and power struggles to identity, self-awareness, and shared goals, this conversation dives into the real challenges couples face—and how to navigate them without shame, blame, or disconnection . Together, they unpack the idea of stepping into the “messy middle” (or the “dark forest”)—the uncomfortable but necessary space where growth, vulnerability, and deeper connection are built. If you’ve ever struggled with conflict, felt disconnected from your partner, or questioned how to balance individual identity with shared life, this episode offers practical insight and hope. Key Points Why communication, conflict, and power dynamics are the most common struggles in marriage  The concept of the “messy middle” and why growth requires discomfort How different expectations about marriage create tension and disconnection The importance of self-awareness and self-leadership in relationships Why identity matters—separating who you are from what you do The balance between individual needs (“I matter”) and relational health (“we matter”) How shame, guilt, and lack of communication block connection Takeaway Healthy marriages aren’t built by avoiding conflict—they’re built by learning how to move through it. When couples develop self-awareness, communicate clearly, and step into the messy middle together, real connection becomes possible.

    47분
  5. 4월 21일

    Healthy Friendships | #25

    In this episode of Filter Optional, Chico and Shannon West unpack what it really means to have healthy friendships—and why most people are asking the wrong question. Instead of labeling people as “good” or “bad,” they challenge listeners to shift their mindset toward something more practical: Is this relationship healthy or unhealthy for me? Through real-life examples—from girls trips and group texts to birthday expectations and social pressure—they explore how codependency, people-pleasing, and fear of judgment quietly shape adult friendships . If you’ve ever felt anxious in a group dynamic, struggled to set boundaries, or questioned whether your friendships are truly supportive, this episode offers clarity and language to help you navigate it Key Points Why labeling people as “good or bad” creates judgment and disconnection The shift to thinking in terms of healthy vs. unhealthy relationships How codependency and people-pleasing show up in friendships The importance of boundaries—and what happens when they aren’t respected Understanding friends for a reason, season, or lifetime Why group dynamics can create anxiety, pressure, and insecurity How to recognize if a relationship allows you to be seen, heard, and respected Takeaway You can’t control other people—but you can control your boundaries. When you stop labeling relationships as good or bad and start asking what’s healthy for you, everything becomes clearer.

    49분
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Addiction Counselor Chico West and his wife Shannon lend their years of experience to listeners from all walks of life offering a unique perspective from both the filter (Shannon) and the no filter (Chico). Welcome to Filter Optional.

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