Why do so many men feel stuck—even when they’re working hard, trying to lead, and doing the “right” things? In this episode of Gaining Ground, Landon and Drew Sherman expose one of the most subtle and destructive patterns men fall into: the blame loop. Blame feels natural. It feels justified. But over time, it quietly drains a man of his power, his clarity, and his ability to grow. Through honest stories from marriage, leadership, parenting, and ministry, this conversation shows how blame shows up in everyday life. From pointing fingers at spouses, coworkers, bosses, or circumstances, to excusing our own inaction, blame becomes a way of avoiding responsibility. And while it may protect our ego in the moment, it ultimately keeps us stuck—relationally, spiritually, and emotionally. Landon and Drew trace the blame loop all the way back to the Garden of Eden, showing how passing responsibility is woven into human nature. But they also make it clear that blame is not neutral. It damages relationships, erodes trust, and keeps men tethered to their past. When men refuse to take ownership, they unknowingly carry unresolved issues into future marriages, jobs, friendships, and even generations. One of the central ideas of this episode is learning to “own your 1%.” Even when a situation feels 99% someone else’s fault, growth begins when a man takes responsibility for the part he can control. That shift—owning what’s yours—restores agency. It puts your hands back on the steering wheel of your life. Blame forfeits growth, but responsibility unlocks it. The conversation also introduces a powerful framework for leadership and masculinity: being a thermostat, not a thermometer. Thermometers react to the environment. Thermostats set the temperature. Men who live in blame simply mirror what’s happening around them. Men who take responsibility change the climate—at home, at work, and in their community—by staying grounded, stable, and intentional. This episode includes real-world examples from marriage, the workplace, church leadership, and prison ministry, showing how responsibility can break cycles that have existed for decades. It makes a compelling case that the strongest men are not the loudest or most aggressive—but the ones humble enough to say, “This part is on me,” and courageous enough to change. If you want to reclaim your power, grow as a man of God, and stop repeating the same patterns, this episode offers a clear path forward. Growth doesn’t start when others change. It starts when you do. Take responsibility. Break the blame loop. Gain ground. IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 – Why blame keeps men stuck 01:00 – The blame loop and taking responsibility 02:45 – How men deflect responsibility in everyday life 04:00 – The cost of avoiding ownership (real consequences) 07:30 – Why blaming others feels natural 09:45 – Adam and Eve: blame from the beginning 11:10 – Why successful men take responsibility 12:40 – How blame damages marriages and families 14:00 – Leadership, humility, and saying “I’m sorry” 18:15 – Owning your 1% (even when it feels unfair) 22:00 – “Blame is the basket that carries your past forward” 24:30 – Breaking generational cycles of blame 29:30 – Thermostat vs thermometer leadership 36:40 – One step to escape the blame loop today 🚀 START HERE! Learn more about the Gaining Ground men’s movement and how you can get involved at https://gaininggroundmen.com. ✅ ATTEND A GATHERING: Join us every First Wednesday at 6:30am in the DFW area at a Compass Church campus. These in-person gatherings are designed to help men reset, refocus, and move forward with intention. Oh, and there’s coffee and breakfast of course. Register now at https://gaininggroundmen.com/gatherings/. 👍 NEVER MISS AN EPISODE! LIKE & SUBSCRIBE: - Gaining Ground | YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/@GainingGroundMen) - Gaining Ground | Spotify (https://tinyurl.com/3pbwbzr7) - Gaining Ground | Apple Podcasts (https://tinyurl.com/bp82b792) 📱 STAY CONNECTED: - Gaining Ground | Instagram (https://instagram.com/gaininggroundmen) - Landon Sherman | Instagram (https://instagram.com/landonjsherman) - Compass Church | Instagram (https://instagram.com/mycompasschurch) - Compass Church | Web (https://compass.church) MUSIC CREDITS: Obsidion (with Boda) - Judah Earl MB01FF8PP2HB5CJ Witch (Instrumental) - Lovedrug MB01ZSS1RUVB0IK
