Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life‪!‬ Janet

I’m recording this exactly a year after the death Eusebius McKaiser died at the tragically young age of 44.
He was a national treasure for South Africans – an author, a journalist and broadcaster.  One of the smartest public intellects in the country he was a fierce defender of truth and justice as many politicians found out to their cost!
He was also a warm and generous friend.So instead of the planned episode I wanted to say a few words about my friend Eusebius and re-release one of the podcast interviews he did for Tribe Sober.
The story starts back in 2001 when I relocated from the UK to SA.  I started to watch national tv, trying to get my bearings in this beautiful and complex country.  I spotted Eusebius on a talk show and was impressed. I read a couple of his books and listened to him on the radio.  I discovered he’d been to Oxford University on a scholarship and had won a global award as a Debating Champion.
I first met him in person more than a decade ago…
Ironically I was drunk at the time!
We were at the Franschhoek Literary Festival where I’d been drinking wine most of the day.  This didn’t stop me dragging Long Suffering Husband to the Elephant and Barrel Pub in the evening. 
I spotted Eusebius in the bar.  He was with deep in conversation and I didn’t want to interrupt.  
However husband knew I was a fan and he nudged me towards him – not quite sure what Eusebius thought about this drunken Brit lurching at him but he was very kind.
For obvious reasons I don’t remember much about that conversation but that was the evening that our unlikely but enduring friendship was born.
I finally ditched the booze in 2015 and set up Tribe Sober.  Eusebius signed up for our Dry January Challenge and one of the mailers included my Goodbye to Alcohol letter – he asked me to come to Cape Talk and read it out on his Show.
So I did and we got plenty of calls from people who knew they needed to say Goodbye to Alcohol.  I’ll put a link to that radio program in the shownotes. 
Apart from reading my letter we raised more than R10,000 for Earthchild within 30 minutes.  Just like me he loved the work done by NGO Earthchild and for the last 8 years he helped me to fundraise more than R300,000  which enabled more than 1000 underprivileged children to get a year of yoga and lifeskill classes.
 I then became a regular on his show and many of our current and past members found us via Eusebius.  He loved the work we did at Tribe Sober and often promoted us on his social media.
He came to two of our workshops in Joburg.  The first one as a participant and the second one as my co-facilitator. 
We looked out for each other - he coached me to be a better speaker on the radio and I convinced him to start his own podcast when he left Cape Talk. 
Have a listen to this episode we recorded about 18 months ago
In this Episode
The sober curious movement is growing – we have an endless variety of AF drinks, many online sobriety groups and even our own magazine Hola Sober.
Eusebius believes that people should be free to make “bad choices” in life but did agree with me that education is important. Alcohol is a legal drunk which damages our health and drinkers need to be aware of that.
When tobacco advertising was banned the information about the link with lung cancer was all over the media – if alcohol advertising was banned we would hear a lot more in the media about the link between alcohol and 7 different types of cancer.
Women need to know that drinking more than 3 glasses of wine a week will raise their breast cancer risk by 15%
We tackled a couple of sobriety myths – first of all the myth that we can’t have fun without alcohol – the truth is that once you have navigated those early difficult months of sobriety then it’s easy to have fun without booze – and lovely not to have to pay the price of a hangover the next day! Our subconscious minds have been convinced by a combination of marketing

On this weeks solo episode I talk about our Breaking Free program which we run four times a year. 
Registration for the current program is open until 30th May  - more info here 
 
We limit each Breaking Free group to 20 so you’ll always get personal attention
In this episode:-
I talk about the warning signs of alcohol dependence as well as the benefits of an alcohol free lifestyle
The Breaking Free program has four components…
Four pieces of a puzzle that come together to create a transformation…
The first piece of the puzzle is Community Support so we connect you with the other people on the Breaking Free program
 We put you in a chatgroup with where you’ll also find some TS team members to answer any questions you may have
The second piece is our 4 hour Masterclass – a group session which we hold via Zoom.  Another opportunity to get to know the other people on the program as everyone will share their story at the beginning of the session.  By the end of the Masterclass you’ll understand:-
The importance of a mindset change and the damage alcohol does to our health
We’ll be sharing our tried and tested sobriety toolkit and you’ll end the session feeling motivated and excited about the changes ahead.
While the Masterclass will give you an overview of the Tribe Sober approach to thriving in sobriety the online course will enable you to dive deeper at your own pace.  You’ll get all the theory and training you need to overturn your limiting beliefs around alcohol which is the key….
Just as we’ve been programmed into thinking that alcohol is an essential part of our daily lives our online program will de-program you and enable you to understand that you will be happier and healthier without it!
The third piece is our online course which includes videos, podcasts, articles and book recommendations so you’ll be able to throw the book at your sobriety – you’ll be able to treat it as a 3-month project that will change the trajectory of your future.
The fourth part of the puzzle is the personal support. 
You’ll have a 1.2.1 Zoom call with me so that I can hear your story and give you some personal guidance
My colleague Sue will catch up with you midway through the course to get a progress report and
Last but not least you can book a session with our Coach Lynette who will discuss how you are applying the theory of the Breaking Free program to your daily life
So that’s the four pieces of our Breaking Free puzzle, four pieces that will come together to create an alcohol free lifestyle that you love..
Apart from creating a program that will get results we’ve created a program that is flexible and will fit in with your busy lives…. 
All of the 1.2.1’s can be scheduled to suit your convenience, the online course can be worked through at your own pace so the only timeslot you need to fit in is the four hour Masterclass.
While we’re on the subject of time that’s one of the unexpected benefits of sobriety….. when we no longer spend time drinking and recovering from the drinking we find ourselves with extra time on our hands….
As well as the energy to do something constructive with that time!
Registration for the current Breaking Free program is open until 30th May - more info here

More Info
Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 


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NEWSFLASH! - Our Breaking Free Program is open for enrollment until 30th May - get more info here 
 
I'm Janet Gourand, founder of Tribe Sober and I celebrated my 9th Soberversary on 23rd May, 2024!
Most of our Tribe Sober members know my story – how I quit drinking and started Tribe Sober but as we are getting new podcast listeners every week I’m re-releasing my story along with my Goodbye to Alcohol Letter.
But before that I have some fresh content that will be useful to everyone on this journey….
In this episode:-
Common mistakes when we're trying quit drinking
Mistake number 1 — Waiting for rock bottom
I knew I had a problem but I was in denial for years. Convincing myself that I wasn’t that bad. I couldn’t possibly be an alcoholic because I was holding down a responsible job and raising a family. An alcoholic was that homeless man in the park who had lost everything. That wasn’t me!
Mistake number 2 — ModerationI spent a decade stuck in the Moderation Trap. Once I’d learned that the low risk limits of alcohol are just one and a half bottles of wine a week I decided that I would drink within those limits. It was only when I tried (and failed) to do that that I realised just how dependent I had become.
Mistake number 3 — Fearing failure
I almost never got started on this life-changing journey because I believed I would fail. I just couldn’t imagine quitting alcohol, never having a drink again. I knew that I had tried (and failed) to moderate my drinking again and again. Surely it would be even harder to quit completely?
Mistake number 4 — Worrying about other people
Peer pressure is powerful. I was trapped in my drinking because I couldn’t bear to peel away from the herd and be different. As an introvert and a people pleaser I didn’t want to be the centre of attention as I was bombarded with questions about why I wasn’t drinking.Mistake number 5 — Being influenced by marketingAs a teenager I believed that alcohol was cool. Wine became the essential parenting aid as I joined the mommy juice culture. Mid-life challenges needed wine as did juggling a career with family life. Retirement gave me time to relax and drink even more wine!
Mistake number 6 — Waiting for happiness to strike..
I had relied on alcohol to make me feel good for a such a long time that I missed those chemical highs when I stopped. During my first few months of sobriety I didn’t change anything in my life. I just didn’t drink. I expected to feel happy because I was sober. But I didn’t, I felt flat and rather depressed. I learned that I would need a project to keep my happy brain chemicals firing!
Mistake number 7 — Being depressed about quittingI had to quit for health reasons and was horrified at the prospect of an alcohol free life. I imagined that an alcohol free life would be a grey and boring existence. Alcohol had become so entrenched in my life that I had no idea how I would socialise, relax or have fun without it.
Mistake number 8 — Trying to do it alone
I thought there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t be happy with just “one glass” of wine like some of my friends. I tried (and failed) to quit over and over. I was ashamed of my drinking problem and wanted to fix it myself. I didn’t want to reach out for help or join a community.
LEARNING FROM MISTAKES — 8 TIPS!
TIP NUMBER 1: Do it now! Alcohol dependence is like anelevator and it’s only going down. The longer you leave it the worse itwill get so if you’re worried about your drinking then Do it Now!
TIP NUMBER 2: Forget Moderation! If you could moderate you would have done it by now. People who can moderate just do it naturally. They might have a glass of champagne at a wedding but alcohol is not really on their radar.
TIP NUMBER 3: Have your reasons ready Just smile and say “I’m taking a break from the booze because I’ve not been sleeping well” and remember it’s not your responsibility to make other people

My guest today is Ben Loos, he’s a professor at Stellenbosch University and leads a neuro research group.  His team focuses on neurodegenerative diseases and brain cancers, with a major focus on autophagy
Autophagy is the body’s way of cleaning out damaged cells, in order to regenerate newer, healthier cells – a process which is essential to good health.
Ben's research is at a particularly exciting stage right now as he is busy developing a device that will enable us to measure our autophagy rate – much as we can measure our resting heart rate or our glucose levels. 
He is CEO of a start up called Phagoflux which will bring this product to market.
Knowing our autophagy rate can make a big difference and will motivate us to strive for a healthy lifestyle  –for example if we see it is too low then we can do something about it – we can do some exercise or we can implement a 12 hour fast.
Of course I asked Ben about what impact alcohol has on the autophagy process as well as other aspects of our health. 
In this episode:-
Health Risks of Alcohol: Excessive alcohol consumption is linked to various diseases, including cancer and neurodegeneration, due to its stress-inducing effects on cells and interference with processes like memory consolidation and sleep.
Effects on Memory and Aging: Alcohol impairs both short-term and long-term memory formation, and chronic consumption accelerates brain aging, increasing susceptibility to neurodegenerative diseases like dementia.
Alcohol Dependence and Blackouts: Regular heavy drinking can lead to alcohol dependence and blackouts, which indicate severe brain impairment and are precursors to brain damage. Particularly dangerous as we get older
Alcohol and Autophagy: Alcohol abuse can impair autophagy due to oxidative stress, inflammation, and mitochondrial dysfunction.
Thinking about our general health: Quitting alcohol leads to significant improvements in health, including liver regeneration, reduced inflammation, and better immune function, emphasizing the importance of avoiding alcohol dependency, especially as one ages.
With an autophagy monitoring device like Phagoflux we could monitor our personal autophagy levels, just like checking our blood pressure or glucose levels. If the levels are high, it's a good sign that our cellular cleaning mechanism is functioning optimally. But if it's low, then interventions like exercise or dietary changes could help boost autophagy and improve cellular health.
It's all about empowering us to take control of our wellness at a cellular level and I think many of us ex drinkers are keen to take action to heal our bodies and brains as much as we can.
Autophagy in Healing: Autophagy plays a vital role in cellular healing by removing damaged components and restoring function.
Autophagy Monitoring Device: Fagovlux aims to measure personal autophagy levels, crucial for understanding aging.
Personalized Autophagy: Understanding one's daily autophagy activity can guide lifestyle choices like diet and exercise.
Exercise and Autophagy: Exercise increases autophagy, contributing to healthy aging and reducing disease risk.
Intermittent Fasting: Fasting triggers autophagy by sensing a lack of amino acids, promoting cellular repair and health.
Of course we already know the basic health rules and we try to stay alcohol free, eat a healthy diet and fast occasionally and exercise regularly.
But how motivating would it be to be able to monitor our autophagy rate and see what impact our hard working is having on our health!
Connect with Ben: Contact Ben through the Stellenbosch University website or the Neuro Research Group website for more information.
www. neuroresearchgroup. com
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This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE

Find out more about our FREE Bootcamps - next one is 20-24th May

Today’s podcast comes with a bit of a health warning. 
Moderation is not something we recommend here at Tribe Sober – mainly because so many us were trapped in what I call the moderation swamp.
We tried (and failed) over and over again to moderate our alcohol intake – all because we counldn’t imagine life without out gass of wine!
Personally the whole of my 50’s was spent in that battle to moderate… a battle that I never won and it’s only now I’m well and truly out the other side that I can see the reality which is that once we’ve crossed a line into dependence we can never moderate – we can never go back…
We just need to put all that effort we put into moderation into creating a beautiful alcohol free life – a life we don’t want to escape from..
Having said all that I do know that we have some “sober curious” people listening to this podcast, people who’ve not yet crossed that line into dependence.. so this episode will be of particular interest to them..
But if you were worried about your drinking and you have managed to clock up a period of sobriety then I would urge you to hang in there… it will get better and better and trying to moderate could take you back to Day One again!
So let’s get to my guest who is Pamela Power, who is an author, a television script writer and has published a book called  “My Year of Not Getting Shitfaced”..
In this episode:-
Pamela’s mother was dependent on alcohol
As a result Pamela become a people pleaser - anxiously watching for her mothers behaviour to change as she drank
As a teenager Pamela sampled homemade wines on her grandmother's farm in Ireland
There was occasional drinking during teenage years and university but nothing excessive
Her drinking Increased as she enjoyed socialising with her friends during weekends and social events
This period was pre-parenthood so the responsibilities of motherhood put the brakes on her drinking
In spite of this she found herself drinking more during social gatherings and stressful periods, especially during COVID-19 pandemic
She recognised that there could be a potential problem even though she certainly didn’t fit the traditional addiction narrative
Pamela experienced an embarrassing blackout during Mothers Day and decided she needed to take a break and reassess her drinking habits
Her intention was to experiment with moderation and take periodic breaks as a means of self-awareness and health maintenance
Pamela acknowledges that she had no idea of the low risk limits or alcohol  
She is not alone in this – many people are unaware of those limits. 
To be clear the World Health Organisation says that to be healthy we shouldn’t drink alcohol at all. 
The evidence is stacking up and it's now proven that alcohol is linked to 7 types of cancer and more than 60 diseases.
Moderation means drinking no more than a bottle and a half of wine A WEEK. 
Knowing I had to drink within those limits is actually one of the things that helped me to quit.  Drinking a small glass of wine in the evening was not going to give me a buzz so I might as well quit!
We discussed the societal differences in drinking culture, highlighting the sober curious movement and the way the younger generation seems to be falling out of love with alcohol
The latest stats from UK tell us that a massive 40% of 18-24 year olds don’t drink at all!
Pamela enjoys fine wines but does recognize their addictive nature.
We reflected on the challenges of sober socializing and the benefits of leaving social events early.
We agreed on the importance of finding new sources of entertainment and occupation without alcohol.
I mentioned my concern about the possibility that her book could tempt people to try (or retry) moderation when they really needed to quit as they were already dependent.
Pamela explained that she had read a lot of quitlit and could not identify with any of the authors as their stories were too extreme
So she has written this book

Today’s guest is going to give us a peek into Hollywood and the fascinating world of movies about recovery
Ted Perkins worked in the film industry for 30 years and has a book out called:-
"Addicted in Film, Movies We Love About the Habits We Hate"
I’ve just finished reading it and it’s fascinating – I had no idea there were so many films about recovery!
The book forms the basis of his Recovery Movie Meetup program
In this episode:-
Ted grew up in a diplomatic family, where cocktail parties were the norm..
Worked as a movie producer for Universal Studios for 30 years, then pursued independent screenwriting
The Movie industry (like so many other industries) is “awash in alcohol” as Ted put it
His drinking was mainly recreational until he began to work independently as a scriptwriter when it became more about managing his anxiety 
His scriptwriting career involved a lot of waiting around for responses regarding scripts he had submitted
Ted shared his personal struggle with moderation and his attempts to control his drinking
He talks us through his unique approach to sobriety – rather than 90 meetings in 90 days he watched 100 recovery movies in 100 days!
In fact I’ve recently interviewed a guy for the podcast who listened to 100 Tribe Sober podcasts in 100 days… and it worked!   He’s sober now and I ‘ll be releasing that interview soon
I’m even thinking of creating a 100 episode playlist to go with it!
Apart from his movie watching Ted also worked with Smart Recovery
His recovery led to him writing his book and developing Recovery Movie Meetups
His book is called: "Addicted in Film, Movies We Love About the Habits We Hate" – available on Amazon – and on kindle – do check it out, its brilliant
Recovery Movie Meetups enables communities to host support meetings using addiction-themed movies… and Tribe Sober will be hosting their first Recovery Movie Meetup with Ted on 11th May
We’ll be watching an addiction themed movie and following it with a discussion – using guided questions
I asked him for his Favorite Recovery Movie: which is the "Lost Weekend" which came out way back in (1945)
I asked him to Recommended a Movie: He suggested "Thanks for Sharing" for its portrayal of various addictions and recovery aspects
We discussed Society's stigma towards alcoholism: that misconception of alcoholics as homeless, contrasting with the majority of people affected who are in fact functional alcoholics
Of course the danger of seeing the alcoholic as a homeless man in the park is that we look at him and think – I’m not that bad so I can carry on drinking!
This suits the alcohol industry very well of course.
AA's branding of the "alcoholic" can be likened to the religious branding of sinners – it’s a way to keep the flock together – to keep them coming to church… or meetings.
We agreed that we had to take the Initiative in our recovery: we can’t just sit around waiting for life to become perfect – we have to rebuild our life, embrace opportunities and create an alcohol free life that we love
Recovery is about reclaiming life’s possibilities
We talked about the Hollywood celebrities who are modelling sobriety and making it cool: Ben Affleck, Bradley Cooper, Anthony Hopkins, Demi Lovato, and plenty of others
I really loved Teds feedback loop – I’m going to read a quote from the transcript of the interview
Over time it'll work itself out and you'll see, …. all of the things that you thought were not going to be possible will become possible and you'll do things that you never thought possible      Then your life in sobriety will then start an automatic feedback loop. Showing you how great life is and will continue to get as you pursue sobriety.
I love that idea of an automatic feedback loop – as the benefits of sobriety start to come in we realise we want to hold on to them….
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This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If