Resentment-Free Relationships Becky Smith

Building a House of Repair: Embracing Mistakes and Growth

In this episode, we explore the concept of 'building a house of repair, not perfection,' and how this mindset can transform family dynamics and personal growth. 

00:00 Introduction and Summer Greetings

00:13 Introducing the Concept: House of Repair, Not Perfection

01:25 Perfectionism vs. Progress

03:31 Embracing Mistakes and Learning

06:27 Practical Tips for Building a House of Repair

07:34 Final Thoughts and Weekly Challenge


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Acknowledging and accepting your partner's feelings without agreeing with them is crucial for building a strong connection. Understanding the difference between validation and agreement, using active listening techniques, managing frustrations without defensiveness, and resolving conflicts constructively is essential. This guide aims to improve relationship dynamics, reduce conflict, and foster a deeper connection with your partner. Let's talk. Sign up now. https://calendly.com/beckycoach/resentment-free-relationships



00:00 Welcome Back & Today's Focus on Validation

00:22 Understanding Validation in Relationships

03:44 Key Points on Validation and Emotional Connection

04:58 Practical Tips for Validating Your Partner

06:46 Real-Life Scenario: Handling Household Chores

09:38 The Impact of Validation in Personal Relationships

10:46 Conclusion: The Journey of Improving Validation




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Becky discusses the challenges of dealing with a partner's defensiveness during conflicts, particularly for those who often prioritize others' needs over their own. Click here for a safe space to talk. https://calendly.com/beckycoach/resentment-free-relationships

.00:00 Introduction to Navigating Partner Defensiveness

00:45 Lessons from Bear Lake

02:02 Understanding Partner Defensiveness and Conflict

03:01 Strategies for Managing Defensiveness and Conflict

05:33 Setting Boundaries and Self-Care During Conflict1

4:48 Conclusion and Invitation for Further Support


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This episode delves into the concept of personal authority Becky discusses the significance of reflecting on our responses, actions, and feelings to own our personal authority.

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast

00:04 Exploring Dog Training and Personal Growth

01:29 The Concept of Inner Authority

02:05 Applying Inner Authority in Personal Relationships

04:39 Empowering Yourself Through Inner Authority

06:23 Conclusion and Reflections


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In this episode, host Becky delves into the unique experience of re-listening to a book she had read years ago, 'What Alice Forgot' by Liane Moriarty.  Re-experiencing the book offered her new insights, emphasizing how different stages of life can alter one's interpretation of a story. The narrative of Alice, who forgets a decade of her life, serves as a foundation for Becky to explore the significance of perspective in shaping our understanding of ourselves and our relationships. She highlights the positive changes in Alice's interactions when she views her life through the lens of her younger self, noting the decrease in defensiveness and increase in empathy. Becky extends these fictional themes into real-life applications, suggesting introspective questions that encourage curiosity and empathy to improve personal relationships. The episode aims to inspire listeners to consider their past and future selves in navigating current challenges, promoting a mindset of growth and openness.



00:00 Welcome to the Podcast: A Rare Dive into Rereading

01:05 Rediscovering 'What Alice Forgot': A Journey of Perspective

02:11 Exploring the Impact of Perspective Through Alice's Story

03:18 The Power of Perspective: Lessons from Alice's Experience

05:43 Applying Fictional Insights to Real-Life Relationships

08:23 Practical Steps to Embrace Curiosity and Reduce Defensiveness

09:38 Final Thoughts and Encouragement to Explore New Perspectives


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Becky delves into the concept of 'hidden dreams' within relationships, drawing on insights from John and Julie Gottman's work on healthy conflict. Becky highlights how perpetual arguments often mask deeper, unexpressed desires and values. Through the lens of the Gottmans' personal experience and a detailed example of their methodology, she illustrates the transformative potential of uncovering and empathizing with these hidden dreams for resolving conflicts. The episode emphasizes the significance of thoughtful questioning in revealing underlying aspirations and acknowledges that, although not all conflicts are solvable, their manageability improves with mutual understanding and empathy. Becky encourages listeners to embrace the role of a 'dream catcher' in their own relationships and shares avenues for feedback and further discussion on this vital topic.

00:00 Welcome to the Healthy Conflict Series: Unveiling Hidden Dreams

00:21 Understanding Perpetual Arguments in Relationships

01:32 The Gottmans' Discovery: The Technique of Hidden Dreams

01:56 The Iceberg of Conflict: Uncovering Hidden Dreams and Values

02:58 Judging Desires: The Pitfall of Value Judgments in Relationships

03:57 A Real-Life Example: The Gottmans' Cabin Conflict

05:29 The Power of Understanding and Dialogue

08:33 Practical Steps: Questions to Uncover Hidden Dreams

10:30 The Unsolvable Nature of Some Conflicts and the Value of Empathy

11:24 Applying the Dream Catcher Technique in Your Life1

2:28 Conclusion and Invitation to Share Your Experiences

https://calendly.com/beckycoach/resentment-free-relationships




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