Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

Hannah Brooks
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Marriage Coach and HSP Love Expert Hannah Brooks teaches sensitive women how to not only have an easier marriage but to have a marriage where love, understanding, lightness, and connection gets deeper every day.   Highly Sensitive people have unique differences that lead to predictable challenges in committed relationships, and sometimes even the deterioration of love.   Right now your marriage might feel difficult: you may get upset easily, feel weighed down by resentment, hurt, irritation. It does not have to stay this way. Because as a sensitive person you are cut out for the best marriage possible. You just need to learn and apply a few things you were never taught.  You'll hear relatable stories, interviews, advice, and coaching on just what you need to know to use your sensitivity to your advantage in love.   You’ll learn how to stop taking things personally, manage your feelings, feel so secure and good about yourself, feel empowered instead of stuck, and how to influence (without manipulation) how your partner feels and behaves towards you, so you can just enjoy the person you’ve chosen as your partner, and invite so much more love and joy into your daily lives together.

  1. Subtle Defensiveness Spotting

    20H AGO

    Subtle Defensiveness Spotting

    209 (Great to share with your spouse) Why does defensiveness show up so quickly in marriage—especially when an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) wife is trying to express hurt? And why does it often sound calm, logical, and completely reasonable? In this episode on subtle defensiveness spotting, we break down both the obvious and the harder-to-detect forms of defensiveness in intimate relationships—especially the “reasonable explanation” reflex many husbands fall into without realizing it. You’ll hear specific examples of what defensiveness sounds like, how subtle defensiveness shows up in men in real time, why it happens, and what it feels like for highly sensitive women on the receiving end. If you’re an HSP woman who feels unheard when your husband explains instead of empathizes—or you’re a husband who genuinely wants to show up with more emotional safety, connection, and confidence—this episode will help you recognize the defensiveness cycle that keeps couples stuck and learn how to spot it before it quietly erodes connection. We’ll explore: Classic defensiveness in marriage (denial, minimizing, shutting down)The sneaky forms of subtle defensiveness that sound reasonable but create distanceHow to spot subtle defensiveness in real timeWhy men tend towards defensiveness more than women (important to understand for more compassion)How defensiveness quietly erodes emotional intimacyWhat HSP women need in moments of conflict to feel safe and connectedWhether you’re a highly sensitive wife longing for deeper emotional connection or a husband wanting to strengthen your marriage with your HSP partner, this conversation will help you see what’s really happening beneath the surface. Because defensiveness isn’t about not caring—it’s often about caring deeply and not knowing how to stay connected when you feel imperfect. Let’s begin showing that care in ways that truly land. SHOW NOTES:Special limited time course, for the spouses of HSP women: THE SUPPORTIVE PARTNER MICRO-COURSE; 5 Simple Ways to Meet Your Highly Sensitive Wife with Empathy and Love -- only available until Feb 24th.

    35 min
  2. How I Stopped Letting Annoyance and Irritation Hurt My Marriage

    JAN 30

    How I Stopped Letting Annoyance and Irritation Hurt My Marriage

    208  Ever feel easily irritated or annoyed with your partner and wonder what it means about your relationship? Ever thought, “Why is everything that my partner’s doing bothering me lately?”or “Does this mean something is wrong with us?” If so, I've been there too, and this episode is for you. In it, we explore why feeling irritated in your relationship doesn’t mean anything is wrong, how chronic stress and dysregulation fuel annoyance, and what you can do to shift out of irritability and reactivity and back into connection. Drawing from my own experience in my marriage – and nervous system science – I share how I learned to stop letting irritation and reactivity damage my relationship, and how you can do the same. In this episode, you’ll hear 5 tips to shift out of irritation, aggravation, or annoyance, as well as: Why annoyance is a normal part of healthy relationshipsHow to stop making irritation mean something is wrongThe connection between stress, your nervous system, and relationship tensionSimple ways to regulate yourself and soften reactivityHow to rebuild warmth and appreciation with your partnerThis episode is especially for highly sensitive people and anyone who feels overwhelmed, reactive, or disconnected in their relationship.  It will help you use any annoyance, irritation, and reactivity that comes up as the spark that can actually guide you back to your most connected, loving place in your relationship. SHOW NOTES: Learn all about and join Hannah in Foundations of Emotional Well-Being For HSPs; The Root Of a Safer Marriage and Heart here. Doors close Feb 4th, 2026. After that, price goes up forever.  Find Hannah at her website: hspmarriagecoaching.com

    24 min
  3. Why “Talking It Out” Often Makes Things Worse (Especially for Sensitive People)

    JAN 26

    Why “Talking It Out” Often Makes Things Worse (Especially for Sensitive People)

    207 If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation with your partner feeling more overwhelmed, more disconnected, or more upset than when you started — this episode is for you. In this conversation, we explore why so many well-intentioned attempts to “talk things through” actually escalate conflict instead of resolving it — especially for highly sensitive people. You’ll learn what’s really happening in your nervous system during moments of emotional intensity, why communication breaks down when safety drops, and the difference between processing an emotion and unintentionally ruminating in it. We’ll also talk about: Why your “survival brain” hijacks conversations when you’re floodedHow trying to communicate while dysregulated can create a fight–fight loopWhy timing matters more than technique when it comes to hard conversationsWhat it means to regulate first — and communicate second.This episode isn’t about blaming yourself or your partner. It’s about understanding the physiology underneath communication struggles — so you can stop trying to solve emotional problems at the wrong level. If you’re a sensitive person who wants calmer, more honest, more connecting communication — without forcing or over-explaining — this episode will help you see your patterns with more compassion and clarity. SHOW NOTES: Learn all about and join Hannah in Foundations of Emotional Well-Being For HSPs; The Root Of a Safer Marriage and Heart here. Doors close Feb 4th, 2026. After that, price goes up forever.  Find Hannah at her website: hspmarriagecoaching.com

    27 min
  4. Why Traditional Marriage Advice Often Fails Highly Sensitive People

    JAN 19

    Why Traditional Marriage Advice Often Fails Highly Sensitive People

    206 If you’ve ever read a marriage book, heard some relationship advice that seemed logical, or sat in a therapy session and thought, "Why is this so much harder for me than it seems to be for everyone else?"—there is a biological reason for that. Today we dive into what that is, and why a lot of traditional marriage advice just doesn't work for us as highly sensitive people.  The truth is, most marriage advice does not take into account the HSP reality – our highly sensitive nervous systems and brains. So of course it’s going to flop for us if we are not first respecting and honoring our physiological differences and needs. To expect traditional marriage advice to work for us is like expecting an orchid to bloom in a desert. It’s not going to happen.  So tune in to hear the top 5 popular pieces of advice that fail us sensitives, and what actually works instead – all illustrated with HSP-resonant nature analogies (sometimes some good old garden metaphors can really clear things up!) By the end of this episode, you’re going to understand why, to thrive in your relationship, you don’t need to try harder at traditional marriage advice’s top down approach – like communicating with specific phrases– and that nourishing your sensitive system at the root level is what will make the biggest difference–and make the rest come quite naturally.  What does that mean? Tune in to find out.   SHOW NOTES: Learn all about and join Hannah in Foundations of Emotional Well-Being For HSPs; The Root Of a Safer Marriage and Heart here. Doors close Feb 4th, 2026. After that, price goes up forever.  Take the Dysregulation quiz in the episode 190, or here in written format.

    31 min
  5. The Acceptance Switch: Humanity Over Perfection

    12/30/2025

    The Acceptance Switch: Humanity Over Perfection

    205  Why does unhappiness and irritation so often sneak into even the most loving marriages? Usually, it’s through the silent killer of connection: non-acceptance. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the "Acceptance Switch"—that internal shift that moves us from judging our partner’s flaws to making peace with their full, messy, human selves.  I share the raw truth about my two marriages: how a lack of acceptance created a cycle of shame and distance in my first, and how consciously choosing to perceive my second husband’s "shortcomings" through the lens of acceptance has unlocked a level of joy and playfulness I never thought possible. We also explore: The Cultural Root of Intolerance: Why society has conditioned us to reject our partners full selves, including moods and behaviors.The "Human Inheritance": Understanding that your partner’s frustrating patterns aren't personal—they are often a genetic and cultural "ball and chain" they didn't choose.The Growth Paradox: Why true growth and change in a relationship only happen after you’ve established a foundation of radical safety through acceptance.Acceptance vs. Tolerance: Why accepting someone’s humanity is the opposite of being a "pushover."To help you kick off the year with a heart-centered reset, I’m walking you through a New Year Acceptance Process. We’ll unpack the "stories" we tell ourselves about our partners and learn how to see through the fog of expectations to find the sweetness that’s been there all along. Stop fighting your partner’s humanness and start reaping the gifts of making peace with who your partner really is. SHOW NOTES: Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started here. See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.FREE QUIZ: How Much is High Sensitivity Impacting Your Relationship (and are you even highly sensitive)? You want to know. Because, high sensitivity has a major impact on intimate relationships – for better or worse. Take this 3 minute quiz to discover if you're highly sensitive and how deeply it’s affecting you, and your happiness in your relationship. You will also get your next steps to making sure sensitivity works for your relationship, instead of against it.

    40 min
  6. Developing Your Sensitivity For A Better Marriage

    12/16/2025

    Developing Your Sensitivity For A Better Marriage

    204  Developing your sensitivity, instead of overcoming it, may be one of the best things you can do for your marriage. We HSPs often think of ourselves as “too sensitive”, but actually, our sensitivity is the very thing that can make our marriages richer and better than any others on earth! I often talk about how ”working with” your sensitivity is quite key to your happiness in love– and your whole life, and it is true there are many ways we can learn to do that to thrive. And, we can also DEVELOP some of what is already there –  deepen it, sharpen it, fine tune what we naturally bring that already is an asset for our relationships. Today I want to specifically talk about one easy way you can develop your sensitivity for a richer, more deeply intimate, relationship. You’ll learn what that is, how you are already probably pretty good at it, how to refine this gift, and what gets in the way of it all too often.  You’ll also learn about a couple (of many more) other aspects of sensitivity you also want to develop. My hope is you will come away from this episode reminded of the natural gifts you already possess, and some simple easy to implement ideas about how to deepen those gifts for more harmony and a sense of being lovingly in-sync in your marriage. Listen in. SHOW NOTES: Join Hannah in her special end-of-year 3 session program,  A BETTER MARRIAGE IN 1 MONTH: A Mini 1:1 Marriage Coaching Program For HS Women To Start to FEEL the power you have to change the whole emotional culture of your marriage into one of more safety and  warmth, without dragging your partner into therapy. Click here to learn more.  Take The 2 Minute Free Quiz: What's Your Best Next Step To Improve Your Marriage? Find out the most important place for you to focus on to make your unique marriage more loving and connected a sensitive woman.ENJOYING THE SHOW?  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3)

    25 min
  7. Relationship Compare and Despair

    12/01/2025

    Relationship Compare and Despair

    203  "That couple is just so in love…so much more than we are!" "How come we can’t communicate like that?"  "What's wrong with our relationship that my husband doesn't look at me like that?"  Ever sounded like that in your head? Ever compared your relationship, or your spouse, to other couples or spouses…and then felt even more unhappy about your relationship? Clients ask me about this often.  It's so common that there is a term for it: Compare and despair. Today, we are calling it Relationship Compare and Despair, since we will focus in how it affects our love lives. It’s a wired-in thing our brains just do as humans, especially if we aren't totally happy in our relationships. But it hurts and disempowers us, and makes our relationships worse. So how do you stop? In this episode I will tell you, and help you turn this habit into something that, instead of making things harder, can help your marriage get better. You will also learn what is driving the despair that often accompanies comparing, as well as the most important shift to make to put an end to most of the pain or upset you feel in your relationship, so you can effectively shape your relationship into one that feels lighter, more loving, and connected and all the things you want… You can stop letting comparison undermine your love and connection. You can use it instead as an opportunity to make your marriage into the very best one it can be. Listen in to learn how.  SHOW NOTES: Join Hannah in her special end-of-year 3 session program,  A BETTER MARRIAGE IN 1 MONTH: A Mini 1:1 Marriage Coaching Program For HS Women To Start to FEEL the power you have to change the whole emotional culture of your marriage into one of more safety and  warmth, without dragging your partner into therapy.  Click here to learn more.  Take The 2 Minute Free Quiz: What's Your Best Next Step To Improve Your Marriage? Find out the most important place for you to focus on to make your unique marriage more loving and connected a sensitive woman.ENJOYING THE SHOW?  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3)

    31 min
  8. Soft And Strong; The Magic Combo For Lasting Love

    11/18/2025

    Soft And Strong; The Magic Combo For Lasting Love

    202 Want to make sure you aren't settling for unfair treatment, letting your partner's hurtful behavior fly, passively just “taking” your partners rudeness, or being a doormat? Want to stand up for yourself and proactively make sure you get the BEST treatment from your spouse, not just the scraps? Ever wondered if what I share on this podcast lets your spouse get away with too much? This episode is for YOU!!! You’ll learn how, for the best marriage possible with your spouse,  you need to develop both a soft belly, and a strong back. In other words, you need an emotional skillset that allows for true open-heartedness (instead of reactivity and defensiveness) AND you need to take specific strategic "strong" actions that prevent any poor treatment and GET the loving treatment you deserve in your marriage.  I generally teach more about the soft belly piece, because you can’t do the strong back piece well without it–and this part does NOT get enough attention in the relationship advice/self-help world… BUT the strong back pieces (i.e. specific actions and strategies) are 100% essential, too, to have a great marriage. So listen in today to hear what those “strong back” strategies are, and how you can learn more about implementing them, and what you must also be able to do in order for them to create a truly loving connected marriage (instead of a roommate or business-partner type relationship of cold functionality).  The magic lies in the combination of both a strong back and a soft belly, not one by itself. Come hear exactly what I mean. SHOW NOTES Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage way more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form. Take The 2 Minute Free Quiz: What's Your Best Next Step To Improve Your Marriage? Find out the most important place for you to focus on to make your unique marriage more loving and connected a sensitive woman.

    28 min
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About

Marriage Coach and HSP Love Expert Hannah Brooks teaches sensitive women how to not only have an easier marriage but to have a marriage where love, understanding, lightness, and connection gets deeper every day.   Highly Sensitive people have unique differences that lead to predictable challenges in committed relationships, and sometimes even the deterioration of love.   Right now your marriage might feel difficult: you may get upset easily, feel weighed down by resentment, hurt, irritation. It does not have to stay this way. Because as a sensitive person you are cut out for the best marriage possible. You just need to learn and apply a few things you were never taught.  You'll hear relatable stories, interviews, advice, and coaching on just what you need to know to use your sensitivity to your advantage in love.   You’ll learn how to stop taking things personally, manage your feelings, feel so secure and good about yourself, feel empowered instead of stuck, and how to influence (without manipulation) how your partner feels and behaves towards you, so you can just enjoy the person you’ve chosen as your partner, and invite so much more love and joy into your daily lives together.

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