Pure Desire Podcast

Pure Desire Network
  • 4.8 (726)
  • CHRISTIANITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Your biblically based and clinically informed approach to breaking free from compulsive sexual behavior and healing from betrayal.

  1. 1D AGO

    454 - The Persistent Message of Shame w/ Dr. Jake Porter

    In today’s episode, we’re joined by Dr. Jake Porter to explore the pervasive and often misunderstood role of shame in recovery. We begin by defining shame and examining why understanding its messages is crucial for lasting growth.  Even after significant recovery, shame can persist—like background noise—resurfacing when we least expect it, especially when confronting the pain we’ve caused others. We discuss strategies for recognizing and responding to shame, including how to navigate triggers from loved ones, childhood experiences, or the fear of rejection. Listeners will learn practical ways to continue healing long after the initial addictive behaviors have changed, and how to support others in processing their own shame without amplifying it.  This conversation highlights the importance of awareness, empathy, and self-compassion, showing that recovery isn’t just about behavior—it’s about transforming the internal narratives that drive it. By leaning into this work, we create space for deeper freedom, connection, and emotional resilience. Resources: Dr. Jake's Website Roberts Endowment Fund Compassionate Warrior GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    1 hr

  2. MAR 10

    453 - The Danger of Controlling Our Life by Controlling Other People

    In this episode, Debby Flanagan dives into a common but often overlooked challenge in recovery: trying to control life by controlling other people. We explore how this pattern can undermine relationships, fuel relapse, and distract from personal growth.  Debby outlines telltale signs that someone may be exerting control and offers strategies for self-reflection to recognize if we are doing the same. For spouses or family members, we discuss clear boundary language and how to set limits that protect your health while maintaining empathy. We also explore the freedom—and fear—that comes with allowing others to make their own choices, and how recovering addicts can focus on their own healing instead of trying to manage everyone else.  Debby shares guidance on repairing harm caused by controlling behaviors, from sincere apologies to meaningful amends, and offers practical ways to cultivate personal safety, security, and relational integrity in long-term recovery. Resources: Roberts Endowment Fund Compassionate Warrior Betrayal & Beyond GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    1h 5m

  3. MAR 3

    452 - Not Taking Full Responsibility for Wounding Those We Love

    In this episode, we explore what it truly means to take full responsibility for the damage caused by addiction—and why minimizing, deflecting, or excusing that harm often keeps relapse close at hand.  Joined by Eileen Fagan, we identify subtle signs of incomplete ownership, from defensiveness and justification to shifting focus onto the wounded spouse’s reactions. We also discuss why acknowledging pain we’ve caused is so difficult, even for those well into recovery, and how loved ones or group members can gently guide someone toward honest self-awareness without shaming or controlling.  On the hopeful side, we paint a picture of what real ownership looks like: humility, empathy, repair-focused action, and a willingness to validate pain without arguing with it. We talk about how to avoid the trap of comparison when both partners carry wounds, and how to accept responsibility without spiraling into self-contempt. Ultimately, healthy ownership becomes a lifelong posture—not self-punishment, but a steady commitment to relational repair and integrity. Resources: Roberts Endowment Fund Compassionate Warrior  GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    1h 1m

  4. FEB 24

    451 - Believing Sexual Addiction is Just About Sex

    In today’s episode, we confront one of the most deceptive assumptions in the recovery world: the belief that sexual addiction is “just about sex.” With guest Robert Vander Meer, we unpack how this false narrative minimizes the emotional, relational, and neurological drivers beneath the behavior, making relapse far more likely because the real wounds go unaddressed. We identify common signs of this mindset—statements like “I just need more willpower” or “at least I’ve never crossed physical lines”—and explore how even those engaging only with pornography, fantasy, or lust can still be caught in the same trap. We also offer guidance for spouses and group members who recognize this belief in others and want to speak truth without shaming, rescuing, or lecturing. Together, we name why sexual addiction is fundamentally about pain, attachment, coping, and disconnection—not merely sexual acts. Finally, we discuss subtle ways this belief can linger even in long-term sobriety and how to continue growing in honesty, humility, and emotional freedom. Resources: Roberts Endowment Fund Compassionate Warrior GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    56 min

  5. FEB 17

    450 - Pursuing Health with Less Passion Than We Pursued the Addiction

    In this episode, Harry Flanagan joins us to unpack a subtle but critical danger in the recovery process: pursuing healing with less passion than we once pursued addiction. He explains how this mindset can quietly fuel relapse patterns, create emotional complacency, and leave individuals feeling stuck even while “doing the right things.” Harry also addresses why some people struggle to engage fully in recovery and what they might be missing when transformation begins to feel routine instead of urgent.  We discuss the FASTER Scale and how overconfidence—one of the earliest signs of slipping—can disguise itself as stability while actually signaling vulnerability. Harry offers practical steps for rekindling commitment when motivation fades, and guidance for spouses who fear their partner isn’t taking recovery seriously.  We’ll also explore how to support group members without slipping into fixing or rescuing, and the key behaviors to look for when someone is genuinely invested in long-term healing. He closes with encouraging, grounded advice for anyone feeling their passion for recovery growing dim. Resources: Roberts Endowment Fund GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    1h 7m

  6. FEB 10

    449 - Handling Kids Toughest Questions w/ Laurie Krieg

    In today’s episode, Laurie Krieg shares her expertise on guiding children through some of today’s toughest conversations around sexuality, gender, and God’s design for relationships. From knowing the right time to talk to kids about sex, singleness, and marriage, to navigating confusing cultural messages—including rainbow flags, gender transitions in family, and the realities of pornography and trafficking—Laurie offers practical, age-appropriate guidance rooted in the Gospel. She helps parents understand why starting these conversations with God’s truth is essential and how to respond when kids ask difficult questions. Laurie also previews her upcoming book, providing a roadmap for parents seeking to equip their children to navigate today’s world safely, confidently, and with a biblical foundation. This episode is a must-listen for parents, caregivers, and anyone invested in raising children with wisdom and grace. Resources:Laurie & Matt's Video Series  Pick Up Laurie's New Book Now! GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    56 min

  7. FEB 3

    448 - Parenting Kids During Recovery w/ Rodney & Traci Wright

    In this episode, Rodney and Traci Wright dive into the delicate and vital topic of parenting while walking a recovery journey. Drawing from their book How to Talk with Your Kids About Sex, they explore why honesty, timing, and boundaries are essential when navigating recovery with children at home. From common mistakes parents make to practical guidance on age-appropriate disclosure, they provide insights for protecting children from the emotional rollercoaster while fostering understanding and trust. They also address how sharing recovery experiences with adult children can support both personal healing and family transformation. Filled with practical “dos,” encouragement, and real-life wisdom, this episode equips parents to walk the line between authenticity and protection, helping children grow up healthy, informed, and part of a recovery story rooted in hope and grace. Resources:Get Your Copy of Rodney & Traci's Book! GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    55 min

  8. JAN 27

    447 - Talking To Kids About Sex: Boy Talk

    In this episode, John Fort returns to share insights from his book Father-Son Accountability: Integrity Through Relationships, a practical guide designed to help dads engage openly and confidently with their sons about sex, boundaries, and character. He explains why these conversations are often difficult for Christian parents, the common hesitations dads face, and the positive transformations he’s seen when fathers step into this important role. John highlights what’s new in the second edition and offers encouragement for dads of pre-teens, teens, and even adult sons, showing that it’s never too late to start. Filled with practical tips, real-life stories, and wisdom from years of ministry, this episode equips fathers—and the families around them—to build trust, accountability, and a legacy of integrity through honest, faith-filled conversations. Resources:Get John's Book! Listen To John's Previous Episode GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    48 min
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4.8
out of 5
726 Ratings

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Your biblically based and clinically informed approach to breaking free from compulsive sexual behavior and healing from betrayal.

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