Charisma Quotient: Build Confidence, Make Connections and Find Love

Kimmy Seltzer
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Welcome to the Charisma Quotient hosted by dating, makeover and confidence expert, Kimmy Seltzer. Each week, learn from Kimmy and other experts about how to build confidence from the outside, in. She's consulted thousands of people to revamp their style, boost their confidence and most importantly, find love. Her lighthearted, down-to-earth and practical approach brings a fun and knowledgeable style to the podcast. She alternates the podcast with solo episodes highlighting various topics, interviewing experts, reading questions and answering them with surprising answers and live coaching sessions.

  1. 5D AGO

    Why Perfectionism & Self-Doubt Are Killing Your Dating Life with Julee Gracey

    Are you caught in the trap of overthinking and overanalyzing your every move? Do you find yourself waiting until everything is "just right" or perfect before putting yourself out there? In Episode 437 of The Charisma Quotient, "Why Perfectionism & Self-Doubt Are Killing Your Dating Life with Julee Gracey" Kimmy chats with powerhouse business coach, author, and former model Julee Gracey, who shares her journey from farm girl to international runway and business stages—and all the life lessons along the way.   Together Kimmy and Julee uncovers how perfectionism and self-doubt can end up shrinking your confidence and stealing your opportunities. They explore real stories of high-achievers paralyzed by analysis and discuss how embracing imperfection sets you on the path to authentic, sustainable confidence, not only in love but in business and life. Listen in as they discuss practical frameworks to cut through self-doubt, why "done is better than perfect," and how letting go of performative confidence can actually help you step into your full power—even if you have to get a little messy along the way.    You'll hear: The hidden ways perfectionism sabotages dating and success—and why you might be stuck in "analysis paralysis." Why overachievers are often the ones secretly struggling most with self-doubt and relationship patterns. A proven framework to move through fear and make decisions with less anxiety. How to stop "shape-shifting" to fit in and start attracting the right people by being unapologetically yourself. The importance of receiving help, hiring a coach, and what to do if you're really stuck.   If you are stuck in analysis paralysis, overthink everything and worry about things excessively that it prevents you from finding healthy love, then hop on a private call with Kimmy to map out a plan and ideas of how to overcome this pattern https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    23 min

  2. MAR 19

    Why You're Not Meeting People IRL (And How to Change That)

    Have you ever found yourself wondering why, despite putting yourself out there, you're just not meeting new people—or forming the kinds of connections you crave? In Episode 436 of The Charisma Quotient, "Why You're Not Meeting People IRL (And How to Change That)," Kimmy dives deep into the real (and surprisingly fixable) reasons you're not meeting people in the wild—regardless of your age, personality, or current habits She shares eye-opening stories from her coaching clients, breaking down the three major archetypes of daters who struggle most with IRL connection. Kimmy then walks through the subtle, everyday behaviors and mindset shifts that can radically open up your social life—so you become not just visible, but approachable and magnetic. If you're tired of the apps, drained by endless swiping, or convinced you're "just not lucky" with serendipitous meets, this practical episode offers fresh hope and clear steps to reignite your in-person charisma. You'll hear: The "truth bomb" about why opportunities to meet people are everywhere—but often missed Surprising stories and case studies from real clients who unlocked their approachability Three common archetypes that struggle most to meet people in the real world Five subtle behaviors that might be sending "don't talk to me" signals Kimmy's step-by-step hacks for making yourself more approachable instantly Ready to change how you show up and meet people? Join Kimmy's next LIVE co-ed workshop How To Meet People IRL.  You'll learn how to use your energy, body language, subtle flirting cues and a social plan to invite connection without forcing it or feeling awkward. Just go to www.stophatingdating.com to register.  Hurry!  Spots go fast!   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    41 min

  3. MAR 13

    Breaking Free from Overachiever Habits in Dating: Coaching with Kimmy

    Are you a smart, successful and high achiever who has your life together but when it comes to dating and flirting you feel completely stuck?  What if the very strengths that make you thrive at work are holding you back in your love life?  In Episode 435 of The Charisma Quotient, "Breaking Free from Overachiever Habits in Dating: Coaching with Kimmy," Kimmy sits down for a coaching call with Elena, a smart, stylish, and accomplished woman who finds herself struggling to tap into her feminine energy, especially in the dating world.    They dig beneath the surface, exploring the root causes behind why high-achieving women often get stuck in the friend zone rather than the flirt zone. Elena bravely shares her experiences growing up in a Latina, Catholic household where strength, leadership, and independence were heavily emphasized—and how those qualities, while powerful in her career, present real challenges in romantic scenarios. Kimmy breaks down three key roadblocks—from childhood conditioning and cultural influences to control as a form of emotional safety—which can make it difficult to relax, be playful, and enjoy receiving attention.    You'll hear: How career-driven habits can sabotage your ability to flirt and connect in romantic settings The difference between leading with masculine energy vs. tapping into your feminine energy (and why it matters) Why many high-achieving women default to "interviewing" on dates and how to break this pattern The impact of early family and cultural messages around strength, attractiveness, and being "enough" Kimmy's targeted advice and specific "homework" assignments to practice receiving attention and getting comfortable being seen   If you have difficulties being playful, flirtatious and having fun with dating, then join Kimmy's next LIVE co-ed workshop How To Meet People IRL.  You'll learn how to use your energy, body language, and subtle flirting cues to invite connection without forcing it or feeling awkward. Just go to www.stophatingdating.com to register.  Hurry!  Spots go fast!   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    43 min

  4. MAR 5

    What's Your Dating Style? How Human Design Reveals Who You Attract With Dr. Karen Parker

    What if your dating challenges have roots far deeper than your last breakup, maybe even back to childhood family dynamics and subconscious roles?  In Episode 434 of The Charisma Quotient, "What's Your Dating Style? How Human Design Reveals Who You Attract With Dr. Karen Parker," Kimmy sits down with Human Design expert Dr. Karen Parker to dive into the intersection of energetic patterns, early life conditioning, and dating success.    Together, Kimmy and Dr. Karen walk through how recurring relationship patterns often stem from old family roles and unspoken rules absorbed in childhood—before you ever go on your first date. Dr. Karen reveals the essentials of Human Design, describing how our energetic types influence not only relationships, but also areas like self-worth, communication, and even financial abundance. She explains the five Human Design types—Manifestor, Generator, Manifesting Generator, Projector, and Reflector and shares actionable tips to reconnect with your authentic self.   You'll hear: Why most dating patterns start in your family system—not your romantic experiences The revealing question Kimmy asks clients who habitually attract emotionally unavailable partners The five Human Design energy types and their influence on love, self-expression, and decision-making Common relationship challenges each Human Design type tends to face (and how to overcome them) Practical strategies for self-acceptance and breaking stubborn patterns in dating.   If you want to find out what type of dater you are take Kimmy's Dating Diagnosis Quiz www.kimmyseltzer.com/quiz . Once you detect your challenges and you're ready to get out of your old dating patterns, book your free call with Kimmy here: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    38 min

  5. FEB 27

    AI and Dating After 40: Can Technology Help You Find Real Love with Joel Comm

    Can technology truly help us become better at love, or is it making things more transactional and detached?  In Episode 433 of The Charisma Quotient, "AI and Dating After 40: Can Technology Help You Find Real Love with Joel Comm," Kimmy dives deep with guest Joel Comm—New York Times bestselling author, digital innovation expert, and host of "AI for Everyone"—to explore these questions and more.    Kimmy and Joel reminisce about real-world connections and the role technology has played in their own journeys—including their hilarious story of reconnecting after years apart thanks to both Facebook glitches and human intuition. Together, they break down how AI is currently being used in dating, from chatbots writing flirty texts to platforms predicting our perfect matches. They discuss the benefits—like better safety, more precise matches, and support for those re-entering the dating pool—as well as serious drawbacks, such as overthinking, decision fatigue, and the loss of authentic connection and in-person chemistry.  Listen at the end where AI actually created a song for this episode! You'll hear: How AI tools are influencing everything from match selection to first-date conversation starters The hidden pitfalls of relying too much on AI for flirting, texting, and dating Joel and Kimmy's real-life story of reconnection—where algorithms failed and humanity triumphed Why body language, humor, and presence are irreplaceable components of attraction Strategies for using AI as a dating resource, not an emotional substitute   If you're tired of overthinking and want to work towards dating people IRL, book your free call with Kimmy here: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    48 min

  6. FEB 20

    Dating, Trauma & Healing After a Narcissistic Marriage: Coaching with Kimmy

    Are you struggling to trust yourself as you consider dating again? In Episode 432 of The Charisma Quotient, "Dating, Trauma & Healing After a Narcissistic Marriage: Coaching with Kimmy," Kimmy does a live coaching session with Rex, who courageously opens up about his five-year marriage that morphed from an intoxicating honeymoon phase into a whirlwind of emotional manipulation and eventual abandonment.   Together, Kimmy and Rex explore not only the recognizable stages of narcissistic relationships—love bombing, devaluation, and discard—but also the deep psychological wounds left behind. Kimmy guides Rex through a process of understanding how childhood caretaking shaped his relationship patterns and how he can break free of the cycle to rediscover who he is beyond being "the caretaker." You'll hear: The warning signs and stages of a narcissistic relationship, including love bombing, devaluation, and discard How childhood family dynamics can set the stage for becoming a caretaker in adult relationships The emotional fallout from being in a narcissistic marriage—especially the impact on men Practical steps for rebuilding self-worth and confidence after being discarded Strategies to overcome the fear of abandonment and re-learn trust in oneself   If you find yourself getting back out there after a toxic relationship and things feel heavy, join Kimmy's co-ed Flirting Made Easy Workshop to learn how to flirt and have fun while dating.   Kimmy will teach you how to flirt without pressure, without games, and without feeling awkward. This isn't about pickup lines or pretending to be someone you're not. It's about learning how to use your body language, energy, and natural charisma to create attraction and connection.  Register here www.stophatingdating.com and grab your spot.    Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    1h 1m

  7. FEB 13

    Reclaiming Sexuality & Desire After 40 with Lauren Elise Rogers

    What does it mean to feel truly alive, sexy, and desired after decades of following the rules or after a long relationship ends? In Episode 431 of The Charisma Quotient, "Reclaiming Sexuality & Desire After 40 with Lauren Elise Rogers," Kimmy invites holistic sexuality educator and intimacy coach Lauren Elise Rogers to unravel the complex journey of reclaiming desire and sexual confidence later in life.    Together, they open up about their own post-divorce experiences—Kimmy's first kiss after years of marriage and Lauren's deep dive into rediscovering herself after a painful divorce in a strictly religious community. They discuss how outdated beliefs about sexuality and worth can shape our experiences, and why it's never too late to ask yourself what you truly want. Through candid stories and transformative insights, Kimmy and Lauren explore how to identify and break free from limiting beliefs, understand the difference between "recreational" and "relational" intimacy, and use self-reflection to plant new seeds in your metaphorical (and sometimes literal) inner garden.   You'll hear: Kimmy's vulnerable story about her first kiss after divorce—and why it was such a crucial turning point. Lauren's powerful journey from a "purity culture" upbringing through marital adversity and into personal liberation. How to identify the old rules and beliefs about sex, intimacy, and relationships that might be holding you back. Strategies to move from "people-pleasing" and self-doubt to embodied confidence and authentic connection, no matter your age or history.. A breakdown of the four cornerstones of eroticism—and what your favorite romantic stories reveal about your subconscious desires.   If you are having some confidence issues in getting back out there and feeling sexy, join Kimmy's co-ed Flirting Made Easy Workshop.   Kimmy will teach you how to flirt without pressure, without games, and without feeling awkward. This isn't about pickup lines or pretending to be someone you're not. It's about learning how to use your body language, energy, and natural charisma to create attraction and connection.  Register here www.stophatingdating.com and grab your spot.    Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    50 min

  8. FEB 5

    Reclaiming Confidence, Flirting, and Visibility After Heartbreak with The Golden Bachelor's Cindy Cullers

    Have you ever wondered what it really takes to rebuild your confidence after a major heartbreak?  In Episode 430 of The Charisma Quotient, "Reclaiming Confidence, Flirting, and Visibility After Heartbreak with The Golden Bachelor's Cindy Cullers" Kimmy welcomes Golden Bachelor finalist, Cindy Culler, for an open and deeply personal conversation about dating confidence in the second act and the power of showing up.    In this episode, Kimmy shares her signature "red dress moment"—the small outward change that catalyzed massive inward growth—and how taking action outside her comfort zone helped her step into confidence after her divorce. Cindy reveals how Kimmy's advice played a vital role in her own post-divorce journey, inspiring her to shed the "mom mode," say yes to new experiences, and ultimately land on national television.   You'll hear Cindy recount the real transformation that happened when she decided to show up boldly—both in life and love—including behind-the-scenes stories from the Golden Bachelor and how she used Kimmy's advice and became a "flirting coach" for her castmates.   You'll hear: Cindy's candid account of moving from the shadows to center stage, and how she reclaimed her sense of self after divorce. Why wearing red—and stepping into visibility—can be a game changer, with research-backed reasons men are drawn to this bold color. How to rebuild confidence from the outside in, not just by thinking, but by taking action. Playful and approachable flirting tips that work (straight from Cindy's Golden Bachelor adventures!) The importance of not settling—setting boundaries, getting clear on what you want, and refusing to play small in love or life.   If you're ready to reclaim your sexy confidence, join Kimmy's co-ed Flirting Made Easy Workshop. Register here www.stophatingdating.com and grab your spot.    Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    53 min
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4.7
out of 5
145 Ratings

About

Welcome to the Charisma Quotient hosted by dating, makeover and confidence expert, Kimmy Seltzer. Each week, learn from Kimmy and other experts about how to build confidence from the outside, in. She's consulted thousands of people to revamp their style, boost their confidence and most importantly, find love. Her lighthearted, down-to-earth and practical approach brings a fun and knowledgeable style to the podcast. She alternates the podcast with solo episodes highlighting various topics, interviewing experts, reading questions and answering them with surprising answers and live coaching sessions.

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