Charisma Quotient: Build Confidence, Make Connections and Find Love

Kimmy Seltzer

Welcome to the Charisma Quotient hosted by dating, makeover and confidence expert, Kimmy Seltzer. Each week, learn from Kimmy and other experts about how to build confidence from the outside, in. She's consulted thousands of people to revamp their style, boost their confidence and most importantly, find love. Her lighthearted, down-to-earth and practical approach brings a fun and knowledgeable style to the podcast. She alternates the podcast with solo episodes highlighting various topics, interviewing experts, reading questions and answering them with surprising answers and live coaching sessions.

  1. 3d ago

    Bathroom Confessions of Former NFL Cheerleaders (Dating Real Talk Secrets: Episode 2)

    What happens when you finally stop people-pleasing and start trusting your own intuition? How can the confidence you build through dance and cheerleading transform the way you show up in your career, relationships, and even your relationship with your body? And is finding your voice and learning to use it the secret to opening yourself up to love again? In Episode 457 of The Charisma Quotient, "Bathroom Confessions of Former NFL Cheerleaders: Dating Real Talk Secrets," Kimmy is back with part two of her unexpected interview series recorded in the women's bathroom at the National Football Cheerleading Alumni Reunion in Miami. What started as an accidental interview location continues to deliver raw, hilarious, and surprisingly powerful conversations with former NFL cheerleaders about confidence, identity, relationships, and reinvention. One former Miami Dolphins cheerleader opens up about how dance became her joy, helping her navigate toxic environments and eventually recognize the importance of trusting her intuition, setting boundaries, and becoming a recovering people pleaser. She shares the realization that saying yes when you really mean no isn't actually being kind, and why learning that "no" can be a complete sentence changed the way she shows up in her life and relationships. But it doesn't end there. Kimmy sits down with Sarah Martin, who helped break the height barrier for Miami Dolphins cheerleaders after learning the team was finally opening auditions to women under 5'6". Sarah shares how her Filipino upbringing shaped her younger, more submissive self, why her father initially didn't want her to cheer, and how she walked into an audition with more than 500 women convinced she'd be home by lunchtime, only to make the team. She even gives Kimmy an impromptu Hawaiian dance lesson that reveals an unexpected connection between dance, sensuality, feminine energy, and flirting. Then Kimmy meets Terri Gayhardt, who went from an incredibly shy little girl who wouldn't even yell during cheers to becoming a professional Baltimore Colts cheerleader at just 16 years old. Terri shares the historic legacy of the Baltimore Colts cheerleaders, how cheerleading helped her find her voice and become a confident, empowered woman, and what happened when the fairytale of marrying the football player didn't turn out quite as planned. After raising five children and helping raise her grandchildren, Terri gets real about catfishing, matchmaking disappointments, dating later in life, and Kimmy gives her a challenge to start flexing those flirting muscles again. You'll Hear: Why learning to say no and letting go of your people pleasing tendencies can create healthier, more balanced relationships. How body acceptance changes with age and why loving yourself now matters more than waiting until you look different. A live lesson on the art (and empowerment) of hula dance, including its sensual, physical, and storytelling elements The surprising connection between dance, feminine energy, sensuality, body language, and flirting. How Terri Gayhardt went from painfully shy to becoming a professional Baltimore Colts cheerleader at just 16 and eventually finding her voice as a confident, empowered woman. Real talk about divorce, catfishing, matchmaking, dating later in life, and why flirting is a skill you can practice at any age. If you've been feeling disconnected from your confidence, your femininity, or the woman you see in the mirror, Kimmy has some things coming up that you'll want to join… If you're looking for a simple place to start, join her for her live co-ed Flirting Made Easy Workshop, at the end of the month where you'll learn and practice her proven formula to flirting in your 40s, 50s, and beyond!  Go to stophatingdating.com to register! And if you're ready to step up your game in real-life action, check out Kimmy's signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat this September. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, flirt, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as you will work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast!

  2. Aug 21

    Bathroom Confessions of Former NFL Cheerleaders (Dating Real Talk Secrets: Episode 1)

    What does sisterhood look like when it stands the test of 40 years? How does cheerleading, often dismissed as just pom-poms and pep rallies, actually shape a woman's confidence, relationships, and life after the spotlight fades? How can spontaneous, "unplanned" moments teach us about authentic connection and the art of reinvention? In Episode 456 of The Charisma Quotient, "Bathroom Confessions of Former NFL Cheerleaders: Dating Real Talk Secrets"  was recorded in the most unlikely of places - the women's bathroom at the National Football Cheerleading Alumni Reunion! Kimmy is swept into the vibrant world of former NFL cheerleaders. What starts as a quick pit stop turns into an impromptu studio filled with these cheerleaders laughter, stories, and generational wisdom. Kimmy first interviews Kera Layne Huntington Aldrich—who cheered for both the Rams and the Raiders—dive deep into the journey of sisterhood that outlasts marriages, divorce, and the ever-shifting chapters of life. Together, they discuss how cheerleading fosters leadership, kindness, and community, challenging outdated stereotypes and illuminating the importance of female support systems. But it doesn't end there. The episode explores how the lessons learned on the field—vulnerability, resilience, and playfulness—translate into dating and personal reinvention later in life. Kimmy "dares" Kera to open up to love again, examining the insecurities, joys, and awkwardness of flirting for a second act. Listeners also hear from Kera's daughter and other women, each sharing what cheerleading means to them and how it has impacted their love life, career path and most of all confidence. Through candid conversations and unexpected humor, the episode champions optimism, gratitude, and finding love when you least expect it—even if it's in the ladies' room. You'll Hear: How a women's bathroom unexpectedly became the perfect place for storytelling and connection. The power of sisterhood and how cheerleading friendships become lifelong bonds. Debunking the "mean girl" cheerleader stereotype—why real cheerleading is about kindness, inclusivity, and leadership. How cheerleading can help women tap into both feminine energy, and how that shapes confidence. Real talk on dating after loss, betrayal, or divorce, including managing insecurities and staying open to authentic love. Heartfelt generational wisdom and how they all reflect on legacy, gratitude, and love. If you've been feeling disconnected from your confidence, your femininity, or the woman you see in the mirror, Kimmy has some things coming up that you'll want to join… If you're looking for a simple place to start, join her for her live co-ed Flirting Made Easy Workshop, at the end of the month where you'll learn and practice her proven formula to flirting in your 40s, 50s, and beyond!  Go to stophatingdating.com to register ************************************************⁣ And if you're ready to step up your game in real-life action, check out Kimmy's signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat this September. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, flirt, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as you will work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

  3. Aug 13

    Why Strong Women Struggle to Receive Love (And How to Change It) With Mama Gena

    What if surrender isn't about giving up, but about unlocking your greatest strength? Could embracing pleasure be the most courageous act you take towards that allows you to receive love? In Episode 455 of The Charisma Quotient, "Why Strong Women Struggle to Receive Love (And How to Change It) With Mama Gena" dives deep with the legendary Regena Thomashauer otherwise known as Mama Gena, founder of the School of Womanly Arts and bestselling author, to explore how powerful, successful women can reconnect with their sensuality and pleasure—even if they feel stuck in "warrior mode.   In this episode, Regena shares her personal journey from trauma and disconnection to discovering that the goddess she had searched for her whole life lived inside her all along. Together, Kimmy and Regena unpack the practical steps to help women shift from overworked and overstressed to magnetic, radiant, and truly alive.  They discuss the rituals and tools—from Spring Cleaning to dance breaks—that help clear old baggage and rewire confidence from the inside out. Plus, you'll hear real-life stories of transformation, learn why flirting can be a spiritual practice, and get a taste of actionable, science-backed methods to spark your pleasure and power, no matter where you are on your journey.  You'll hear practical exercises straight from Regena Thomashauer's new book, On My Knees, all designed to help you reconnect with your sensual self and invite more joy into every day. You'll hear: Why "surrender" is not about submission or weakness, but a portal to greater confidence and connection Regena's remarkable story of healing trauma through the discovery of pleasure and sensuality The science behind pleasure and orgasm and how it can literally rewire your brain and reduce anxiety, depression, and stress Why experimenting with flirtation and sensuality can transform your dating life, and how to do it without feeling guilty or inauthentic   If you've been feeling disconnected from your confidence, your femininity, or the woman you see in the mirror, Kimmy has some things coming up that you'll want to join… If you're looking for a simple place to start, join her for her live co-ed Flirting Made Easy Workshop, at the end of the month where you'll learn and practice her proven formula to flirting in your 40s, 50s, and beyond!  Go to stophatingdating.com to register   And if you're ready to step up your game in real-life action, check out Kimmy's signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat this September. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, flirt, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as you will work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

  4. Jul 30

    Menopause, Dating & Desire: The Conversation Every Woman Needs to Hear with Dr. Debra Durst

    Are menopause symptoms making you question your confidence and attractiveness—especially when it comes to dating? What if the secret to reigniting your energy, sensuality, and sense of self is as much about biology as it is about sexy confidence and mindset? In Episode 454 of The Charisma Quotient, "Menopause, Dating & Desire: The Conversation Every Woman Needs to Hear with Dr. Debra Durst" Kimmy sits down with Dr. Debra Durst, a leading regenerative medicine expert, to talk about the often-unspoken intersection of menopause, sexual wellness, and the dating world for women in their 40s, 50s, and beyond. In this episode, Kimmy shares her experience working with women whose desire and confidence have disappeared after menopause, underscoring the crucial link between hormones, self-perception and sexy confidence. Dr. Durst breaks down the science behind desire—explaining how optimizing hormones can spark not only better sex but also a newfound zest for life and dating, even after years out of the game. They discuss actionable solutions for women seeking to reclaim their sensuality, including comprehensive hormone evaluations, building body image confidence, and practical flirting techniques.  You'll hear: The link between menopause, hormones, and loss of desire—and why it matters for dating at any age Why confidence is not just a mindset, but is also rooted in physical and biological changes Step-by-step insight into what a comprehensive hormone evaluation looks like—and why one-size-fits-all medicine doesn't work The role of body image and self-perception in dating, flirting and sexual satisfaction Practical tips women can make to improve their desire, flirt skills, body image and sexy confidence And if you're ready to step up your game in real life action, check out Kimmy's signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat this September. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, flirt, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as you will work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

  5. Jul 24

    ICYMI: Ditch The Dating Apps and Meet IRL

    Are you tired of the endless swiping and superficial interactions on dating apps? Do you long for the days where you could meet someone in person?  In Episode 453 of The Charisma Quotient, "ICYMI: Ditch The Dating Apps and Meet IRL" Kimmy delves into the world of real-life connections and the lost art of flirting in person. She shares riveting anecdotes of individuals transitioning from disillusionment with digital dating to finding love through sincere real-life encounters and gives tangible tips on how you can too.   In this episode, Kimmy shares success stories of going out with clients who believed the days of meeting people in real life were over and transforming them into flirtatious, charismatic daters who aren't afraid to approach people. She talks about the power of initiating conversations and not being afraid to put yourself out there.  Kimmy outlines simple actions you can take to meet people IRL.  You'll hear about the significance of saying "hi" and sharing intimate details to foster meaningful connections, steps to maintain open body language and position yourself for potential interactions and tips on where to meet people.  Kimmy shares how to address the concerns and anxieties about re-entering the dating world after a long absence     You'll hear: Why chemistry happens in person and the impact of practicing offline social skills  The story of a client who found real-world connection by exercising her "flirt muscle" The domino effect of saying yes to face-to-face interactions and building social confidence  Step-by-step tips for meeting people IRL, including keeping an open mind and body language basics  How where you position yourself in social settings can affect who you meet   And if you're ready to step up your game in real life action, check out her signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat this September. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, flirt, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as we work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

  6. Jul 17

    The Protection Paradox That Keeps You Safe But Single: Coaching with Kimmy

    Have you ever felt like you're doing everything right—putting yourself out there, looking your best, smiling at the world—yet you seem to blend into the background, totally unseen when it comes to love and connection? You might be suffering from the Protection Paradox. You may want love, connection, and partnership, but unconsciously you are doing everything possible to protect yourself from the very vulnerability that love requires.  In Episode 452 of The Charisma Quotient, "The Protection Paradox That Keeps You Safe But Single: Coaching with Kimmy" Kimmy does a coaching session with Layla that explores the transition from vibrant, magnetic energy post-divorce to years of feeling unseen, and what it takes to rediscover openness and self-worth from within, not just through external validation.    In this heart-opening episode, Kimmy dives deep into what she calls the "Invisible Woman Syndrome" and the "Hidden Protection Paradox"—the phenomenon where our fierce desire for connection is silently sabotaged by our own acts of self-protection. Together, they unpack the roots of invisibility, the importance of practice and mindset shifts, and actionable steps anyone can take to break old habits and move toward genuine connection.   You'll hear: The root causes of "Invisible Woman Syndrome" and how self-protection becomes an invisible barrier. Layla's powerful story—her journey from being magnetic to feeling invisible after divorce. A transformational coaching dialogue about building self-worth from within instead of relying on others' validation. Why embracing discomfort is essential to break out of old patterns and reclaim visibility. Actionable "practice mode" dating strategies, including playful mindset shifts and removing pressure from the dating process.   If you're ready to reclaim your self-worth, one place to start is Kimmy's Sexy Confidence Workshop coming up this month. It's designed to help you reconnect with the most magnetic version of yourself so you can stop hiding, stop second-guessing yourself, and start showing up with confidence in dating and in life. You can find all the details at www.stophatingdating.com. And if you're ready for a true transformation, check out her signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat this September. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as we work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

  7. Jul 9

    How Your Hyper-Independence Is Blocking You From Love

    Have you ever found yourself saying, "I don't need anyone—I can do it myself"? Do you sometimes wonder if your fierce independence is actually holding you back from the love and connection you truly desire? In Episode 451 of The Charisma Quotient, "How Your Hyper-Independence Is Blocking You From Love" Kimmy dives deep into the concept of hyper-independence and how it's often mistaken for strength and confidence, especially among those successful in their second act of life.  In this episode, Kimmy shares real-life examples, including clients who present themselves as having it all together but struggle with letting someone else in emotionally. She unpacks why and how hyper-independence can quietly become an invisible barrier to intimacy, vulnerability, and deep connection—often stemming from early life experiences, heartbreak, or even professional successes that reinforce the belief we have to do it all alone. Kimmy outlines the hidden costs of hyper-independence—how it can make your life look full on the outside while leaving you emotionally lonely or attracting emotionally unavailable partners. She provides practical steps and exercises to help you open up to receiving, be more vulnerable, and create true interdependence in relationships.  You'll hear: The difference between healthy independence and hyper-independence in relationships Why successful and accomplished people struggle most with receiving love The hidden origins of hyper-independence and how it becomes a survival strategy Key warning signs that your independence may be keeping you single How hyper-independent people unintentionally train others not to give or care for them Tips to reduce this hyper-independence and create more space for love If you resonated with this episode and want help getting rid of the hyper-indepence, one place to start is Kimmy's Sexy Confidence Workshop coming up this month. It's designed to help you reconnect with the most magnetic version of yourself so you can stop hiding, stop second-guessing yourself, and start showing up with confidence in dating and in life. You can find all the details at www.stophatingdating.com. And if you're ready for a true transformation, check out her signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat this September. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as we work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

  8. Jul 3

    From Invisible to Irresistible: Where Are They Now With Lori

    Are you wondering if it's too late to break old patterns or date when you feel like you're starting over?  Are you struggling to move past self-doubt, loneliness, or feeling like your best days are behind you? In Episode 450 of The Charisma Quotient, "From Invisible to Irresistible: Where Are They Now With Lori" Kimmy sits down with her client Lori, a woman who completely transformed her dating and personal life after decades of putting others first and feeling lost after divorce.    In this inspiring episode, Lori candidly shares how she overcame her fear of rejection, loneliness, and the self-esteem struggles that held her back from both dating and expressing her true self after working with Kimmy. Together, they discuss the practical steps and mindset shifts that helped Lori move out of her comfort zone—from joining singles groups and attending retreats to shaking up her wardrobe and practicing the art of receiving.  As Lori's story unfolds, listeners will learn how her willingness to be vulnerable, build confidence, and embrace her femininity unlocked not just a great relationship, but also a deeper connection to herself. You'll hear: What pushed Lori to stop waiting for change and finally seek help on her dating journey The unique challenges and loneliness that come with dating after divorce and losing your social circle How Lori tackled self-image issues and began to see herself as sexy, confident, and worthy Why learning to receive—and not just give—is a crucial skill for finding partnership The game-changing impact of joining workshops, retreats, and even revamping a wardrobe   If this conversation resonated with you and you've been feeling disconnected from your confidence, your femininity, or the woman you see in the mirror, Kimmy has her signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat coming up in September.  This isn't just another wellness retreat where you sit around talking about confidence. It's an immersive experience where you actually practice becoming her. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as we work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

4.7
out of 5
147 Ratings

About

Welcome to the Charisma Quotient hosted by dating, makeover and confidence expert, Kimmy Seltzer. Each week, learn from Kimmy and other experts about how to build confidence from the outside, in. She's consulted thousands of people to revamp their style, boost their confidence and most importantly, find love. Her lighthearted, down-to-earth and practical approach brings a fun and knowledgeable style to the podcast. She alternates the podcast with solo episodes highlighting various topics, interviewing experts, reading questions and answering them with surprising answers and live coaching sessions.

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