The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne

Kim John Payne/Center for Social Sustainability
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Weekly insights on children and parenting from Simplicity Parenting author Kim John Payne.

  1. #287: Slow, Low and No Means No

    NOV 19

    #287: Slow, Low and No Means No

    In this episode, Kim John Payne explores how parents can set clear, loving boundaries in ways that truly reach their children. He explains that when we slow our speech and lower our tone, children are better able to process what we say and feel our calm authority. Speaking slowly helps a message land without repetition, and a lower, grounded voice communicates steadiness and care rather than frustration. Kim encourages parents to “inhabit” the no, to let it come from a calm, centered place rather than from irritation or haste. He describes how children’s mirror neurons naturally respond to the energy and posture of the adult in front of them. When parents slow down, breathe, and settle their bodies, children follow that movement toward calm and security. A firm “no” delivered with warmth and confidence helps a child feel safe, even if they do not like the limit in the moment. Kim closes the episode by announcing the launch of Simple Family Living, a new online platform offering workshops, guided parenting journeys, and a full, searchable archive of Simplicity Parenting themes. 🏠 Simple Family Living ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    14 min
  2. #286: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Five - Anika Reclaims Her True Self

    NOV 5

    #286: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Five - Anika Reclaims Her True Self

    In this final part of the five-part Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens series, Kim John Payne concludes “Annika’s Story,” the true account of a middle school girl learning to reclaim her sense of self after a painful fall from popularity. Following the cheating incident and the loss of her so-called friends, Annika faces deep loneliness and the sting of exclusion. Yet in the quiet of that isolation, she begins to rediscover who she really is. With the gentle support of her former friend Danielle and a new ally, Skylar, Annika learns that real belonging comes from honesty, kindness, and being true to herself.Kim reflects on how these experiences mirror what so many young people face when trying to fit in, how easily self-worth can become tangled in social approval, and how freeing it is when they realize they can simply be themselves. The story closes on a hopeful note, reminding listeners that even painful moments of loss can become the ground where genuine confidence and connection take root. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    17 min
  3. #285: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Four - The Compromises Anika Makes

    OCT 29

    #285: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Four - The Compromises Anika Makes

    In this fourth part of the five-part Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens series, Kim John Payne continues reading from “Annika’s Story,” following the seventh grader as she becomes more deeply entangled in her desire to fit in with the popular group. When Annika’s mother unexpectedly sees her dressed in a way that reflects the influence of her new friends, Annika experiences a moment of painful self-awareness. Her mother’s silent disapproval becomes a mirror that reveals how much she has changed, and Annika begins to feel the discomfort of living out of alignment with who she truly is.As the story unfolds, Annika’s need for acceptance draws her into increasingly compromising situations, culminating in a serious lapse in judgment that threatens her integrity and reputation. Kim reflects on how these moments, though painful, can become turning points in a young person’s development if they are met with guidance, patience, and understanding rather than judgment. He reminds listeners that this kind of steady support is at the heart of the Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens Care Professionals Seminar, which helps parents and educators strengthen the confidence and self-awareness children need to stay true to themselves. 🍎 Simplicity Parenting Coach Training 📓Emotionally Resilient Tweens & Teens Care Professionals Seminar ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    14 min
  4. #284: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Three - Anika struggles to fit in

    OCT 22

    #284: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Three - Anika struggles to fit in

    In this third part of the five-part series on Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens, Kim John Payne reads aloud “Annika’s Story” from the book he co-authored with Luis Fernando Llosa. The story follows Annika, a seventh grader who moves to a new school and struggles with the temptation to change herself to fit in with a popular group. At first she is thrilled to be included, but little by little she begins to lose touch with who she really is, her confidence, her interests, and her natural kindness. Through Annika’s experience, Kim reflects on how easily children can give up too much of themselves for acceptance and how important it is for parents and educators to help them stay connected to their authentic selves. He reminds listeners that belonging should never come at the cost of identity and that caring adults can gently guide children back to their center when they start to drift. Kim also shares that this theme is at the heart of the Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens Care Professionals Seminar, which helps professionals support families in building true confidence and social resilience. 🍎 Simplicity Parenting Coach Training 📓Emotionally Resilient Tweens & Teens Care Professionals Seminar ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    16 min
  5. #283: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Two - Helping Children Respond to Teasing Without Reacting

    OCT 15

    #283: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Two - Helping Children Respond to Teasing Without Reacting

    In this second part of the five-part series on Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens, Kim John Payne continues exploring how parents can guide children through difficult social experiences. Drawing from Chapter Four of the book, he focuses on helping children understand their emotional reactivity when they are teased or excluded. Through the story of a boy named Tony, Kim illustrates how teasing often continues not because of a child’s shortcomings, but because strong reactions feed the behavior of the child teasing them. He explains that when children learn to stay centered, they reclaim their power and reduce the payoff for those who provoke them. Kim offers practical ways for parents to teach this skill, such as practicing calm reactions at home, planning responses together, and sometimes even using humor to defuse tension. He also acknowledges how painful it can be for children to face these truths and encourages parents to provide reassurance and hope while keeping conversations short, natural, and consistent. Even when children push back or claim they already know what to do, Kim reminds parents to stay close and emotionally steady. The heart of this episode is a message of perseverance. Children to find confidence and strength within themselves, one small step at a time. 🍎 Simplicity Parenting Coach Training 📓Emotionally Resilient Tweens & Teens Care Professionals Seminar ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    23 min
  6. #282: The Emotionally Resilient Kid: Part One - Being There When Your Child Feels Left Out

    OCT 13

    #282: The Emotionally Resilient Kid: Part One - Being There When Your Child Feels Left Out

    This episode is the first in a five-part series drawn from Kim John Payne’s book Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens, co-authored with Luis Fernando Llosa. As part of the lead-up to his upcoming Emotionally Resilient Tweens & Teens Care Professionals Seminar, Kim begins by exploring how parents can respond when their child is socially struggling, feeling excluded, teased, or left out. He reminds us that every child experiences this at some point and that how we respond can make a lasting difference. He then reads Anika’s Story, from the Ten Story Tool Box in the book. Anika recounts a situation in her middle school years where she gave up too much of herself to fit in the the popular kids, how she came to understand that her morally guided, “inside voice” was not matching the “outside actions” of what her peers were doing. She navigates this tricky path and finds her way to finding true friendship. This series will continue in the weeks ahead, guiding parents through conversations about reactivity, empathy, and emotional steadiness. Together, the five parts form a practical and compassionate roadmap for helping children build confidence and resilience in their social worlds. 🍎 Simplicity Parenting Coach Training 📓Emotionally Resilient Tweens & Teens Care Professionals Seminar ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    19 min
  7. #281: Interview with Richard Freed - Part Three

    SEP 24

    #281: Interview with Richard Freed - Part Three

    In the final part of their conversation, Kim and Dr. Freed shift from exposing the harms of persuasive technology to offering practical solutions. Kim introduces the idea of “four connections” as a foundation for a healthy childhood: connection to nature, to friends through real play, to family, and to one’s inner self. Dr. Freed emphasizes the importance of building community among parents and resisting screen culture together. They highlight resources like Kids, Brains, and Screens by Melanie Hempe and Reset Your Child’s Brain by Dr. Victoria Dunckley, as tools to help families go low or no screen. The episode includes inspiring examples of families replacing screen time with rituals like Friday family nights and creative play. Dr. Freed shares personal stories about parenting without screens and the long-term benefits he has seen in his daughters. The conversation ends with hope and encouragement: that raising children in a humanized, connected environment not only helps them thrive but also fosters qualities that others naturally seek out—empathy, presence, and resilience. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    22 min
  8. #280: Interview with Richard Freed - Part Two

    SEP 17

    #280: Interview with Richard Freed - Part Two

    In the second installment of their conversation, Kim and Dr. Freed take a deeper look at how powerful interests influence public understanding of screens, particularly through organizations that claim to promote children's health. Dr. Freed describes what he calls the “Silicon Valley exception,” where major health bodies are either aligned with or funded by the tech industry, much like tobacco-funded health research decades ago. They examine the contradiction between what parents instinctively know—that screen immersion harms connection, learning, and wellbeing—and what schools and media often promote. Kim shares a revealing story about comparing the pace and editing of Mr. Rogers’ programming to modern children's shows, illustrating the intense sensory stimulation that now defines children's media. They also identify common myths, such as the belief that teenagers need peers more than parents, and expose how these narratives are used to weaken parental influence. The episode ends with a preview of the next conversation, which will focus on what families can actually do in response. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    23 min
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Weekly insights on children and parenting from Simplicity Parenting author Kim John Payne.

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