Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST
  • 4.6 (132)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Daily

Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST A gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships podcast If you've ever wished there were a therapy-informed podcast just for gay men, you're in the right place. I'm Ken Howard, LCSW, CST – a gay men's specialist psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Psychiatric Social Worker, longtime LGBTQ+ advocate, and gay men's life/career/relationship coach with over 32 years' experience working almost exclusively with gay male individuals, couples, and polycules. On Gay Therapy LA, you'll get more than clichés or recycled pop psychology. This is a deep-dive podcast for gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships—rooted in real clinical experience with thousands of clients over three decades. We talk about what actually shows up in gay men's lives: Mental health for gay men: anxiety, depression, trauma, shame, internalized homophobia Gay men's relationships: monogamy, open relationships, consensual non-monogamy, polycules, jealousy, trust, communication Sex therapy for gay men: desire, performance, erections, ejaculation, kink, porn, HIV, PrEP, sexual confidence Gay men and aging: body image, muscles, appearance pressure, midlife, older gay men, long-term HIV survivorship Dating and intimacy: hookup culture, apps, ghosting, rejection, attachment, finding and keeping a partner Gay men and success: career transitions, burnout, money, retirement, purpose, and building a life that actually feels good Episodes are mostly just me—so you get unfiltered, no-nonsense, therapist-level insight without fluff, plus occasional guests whose expertise or lived experience can help you grow. Every episode is designed to give you practical tools, perspectives, and strategies you can use immediately in your life, not just "interesting conversations." If you're a gay man who wants better mental health, stronger relationships, more satisfying sex, and a more successful, meaningful life, this podcast is for you—whether you're in your 20s, 40s, 60s, or beyond. About the practice behind the podcast Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is the podcast of my private practice: Psychotherapy for gay men in California (online) Coaching for gay men worldwide (online) I'm the founder of GayTherapyLA.com and GayCoachingLA.com, based in West Hollywood, California, serving gay men all over the world via webcam and phone. My credentials include: California Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) Certified Psychiatric Social Worker AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Certified in Consensual Non-Monogamy and Polyamorous Families Retired Adjunct Associate Professor in Social Work (USC) Through both psychotherapy (California) and coaching (worldwide), I help gay men improve their mental health, strengthen their relationships, upgrade their sex lives, and maximize their quality of life and career, leveraging their past to enhance their future. While this podcast cannot substitute for personal therapy and is provided for educational purposes only, the episodes reflect the kinds of themes and strategies I work on with clients every day. Your questions, comments, ratings, and reviews are very welcome, as are suggestions for future episodes. © 2025 Ken Howard, LCSW, CST. All rights reserved.

  1. 5d ago

    The Gay High Achievement Paradox: When Success Isn't Enough

    You've built the career, earned the recognition, and reached goals your younger self once dreamed about. Why can success still feel exhausting—or strangely unsatisfying? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores the gay high achievement paradox: how the strengths that help gay men succeed can become difficult to set aside when it's time to enjoy the lives they've built. He considers the role of rejection and being underestimated, and the difference between achievement as a means of creating a fulfilling life and achievement as the foundation of your identity. The conversation also addresses the transition from skilled professional to effective leader, delegation and difficult workplace relationships, and why executive authority doesn't translate into equal partnership at home. Midlife, retirement, friendship, intimacy, and making time for postponed interests all raise a larger question: what was your success supposed to make possible? For gay men who want to explore these questions, learn about psychotherapy for California residents at GayTherapyLA.com or coaching at GayCoachingLA.com. Psychotherapy and coaching are distinct services; the appropriate approach depends on your needs and location.

  2. 5d ago ·  Bonus

    You Might Also Like: The Oprah Podcast

    Introducing The Optimism We All Need Right Now with Simon Sinek from The Oprah Podcast. Follow the show: The Oprah Podcast BUY THE BOOK! Start with Why by Simon Sinek  https://amzn.to/4xQ0ETD Simon Sinek’s landmark New York Times bestseller Start with Why transformed how leaders, entrepreneurs and employees think - inspiring them to shift their focus from what they do to why they do it. Simon brought this revolutionary concept to life with his Ted Talk, "How Great Leaders Inspire Action" which instantly went viral - and now ranks as the fourth most-watched Ted talk of all time with more than 90 million views.  In this conversation, Oprah and Simon talk about how to feel more energized, optimistic and engaged in your work and life - especially at times of high anxiety and uncertainty. Simon answers questions from several viewers including a woman who is considering leaving her 9-5 job to become an entrepreneur, one who is still looking for her dream job at age 49 and another who is terrified about losing her identity as she faces retirement. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone who may be feeling a little lost and looking for clarity, direction and optimism.  00:00:00 - Welcome Simon Sinek, author of “Start with Why”  00:05:15 - The golden circle  00:09:15 - Asking for help 00:10:30 - Why vs. intention  00:13:30 - The thread of your life  00:17:40 - The age of the Influencer  00:20:10 - Optimism meaning 00:27:10 - Introverts and extroverts 00:28:40 - Blocking out doubt when chasing your why 00:32:30 - Jobs are not safe 00:34:50 - Find your guiding question 00:41:40 - Is a "dream job" a goal? 00:48:39 - The friend test  00:54:00 - The importance of relationships  00:55:20 - The key to finding your why 00:57:00 - A well-lived life Follow Oprah Winfrey on Social: https://www.instagram.com/oprahpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/oprahwinfrey/ DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to team@podroll.fm.

    You Might Also Like: The Oprah Podcast

  3. Sep 29

    The Psychology of 9/11: Perpetrator Motivations and Our Reactions

    Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores the psychology behind September 11 and its lasting aftermath—from absolutism and dehumanization to grief, survivor guilt, anniversary reactions, and resilience. Drawing on personal memories and his work with gay men, he considers how experiences of vulnerability and loss shape our sense of safety, while distinguishing trauma responses from PTSD.

    The Psychology of 9/11: Perpetrator Motivations and Our Reactions

  4. Sep 21

    Gay Men and Sides: Sexual Self-Empowerment Beyond Tops and Bottoms

    What if anal sex simply isn't part of the sex you want? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores "sides"—gay men who prefer sexual expression without anal intercourse—and credits psychologist and certified sex therapist Dr. Joe Kort for originating and developing the term. Ken reframes being a side not as an absence of sexuality, but as one valid choice within a broad erotic repertoire. He discusses consent, pleasure, sexual health, and the important difference between a genuine preference and avoidance driven by fear, pain, shame, or missing information. The goal is not to steer anyone toward a particular sexual act; it is sexual self-empowerment: understanding your desires, boundaries, health, and options well enough to make choices that truly belong to you.

  5. Aug 25

    Aging Without a Blueprint: Gay Men, Retirement, and What Comes Next

    Many gay men prepare financially for retirement, yet still feel uncertain about what they are retiring into. Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores the "blueprint gap": reaching later life without an inherited picture of what a satisfying retirement should contain. Traditional retirement narratives often assume children, grandchildren, lifelong heterosexual marriage, and an extended family prepared to provide companionship and care—assumptions that may never have applied to gay men. This episode examines retirement identity, chosen family, purpose after work, financial security, LGBTQ+-affirming long-term care, and the AIDS-era loss of elders who might have modeled aging for subsequent generations. Ken offers reflective questions and practical ways to begin building a later life around connection, creativity, community, safety, and personal meaning.

  6. Aug 21

    The Quiet Ambivalence of Open Relationships in Long-Term Gay Couples

    What happens when a long-term gay couple is no longer fully monogamous—but neither partner feels entirely comfortable calling the relationship open? Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores the emotional territory between monogamy and consensual non-monogamy: relationships that change gradually, sexual agreements that make sense intellectually but remain difficult emotionally, and the difference between genuine acceptance and reluctant permission. This episode examines erotic grief, aging, changing desire, hookup-app use, fear of losing a shared life, and the difficult conversations couples sometimes avoid. Rather than arguing that one relationship structure is superior, Ken encourages gay male couples to build relationships deliberately—with honesty, mutual awareness, emotional respect, and agreements that can evolve as their lives change. To learn more about therapy for gay men and gay male couples in California, or coaching services available worldwide, visit GayTherapyLA.com.

  7. Jul 31

    Five Love Languages Reimagined for Gay Men, Part 2: Gifts, Touch & Attachment

    In Part 2 of Five Love Languages Reimagined for Gay Men, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores why receiving gifts and physical touch can mean far more than they seem. Gifts may communicate that your partner stayed in your mind; touch can offer comfort, safety, and belonging without needing to lead to sex. Ken connects these everyday moments to attachment, the histories gay men bring into relationships, and a central question for couples: does the way I'm loving you actually feel like love to you?

  8. Jul 28

    Five Love Languages for Gay Men: What They Really Mean (Part 1)

    The five love languages can be useful—but for gay men, they often carry deeper psychological meaning. In Part 1 of this two-part episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, reimagines the familiar framework through the lived experiences of gay men. He explores why words of affirmation can be about being seen, why acts of service can become a way of earning closeness, and why quality time is less about hours together than genuine emotional presence. The deeper question is not simply how we express love. It's why certain expressions of love make our nervous system feel safe, valued, and connected. Part 2 will cover receiving gifts, physical touch, and the attachment psychology beneath the five love languages.

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4.6
out of 5
132 Ratings

About

Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST A gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships podcast If you've ever wished there were a therapy-informed podcast just for gay men, you're in the right place. I'm Ken Howard, LCSW, CST – a gay men's specialist psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Psychiatric Social Worker, longtime LGBTQ+ advocate, and gay men's life/career/relationship coach with over 32 years' experience working almost exclusively with gay male individuals, couples, and polycules. On Gay Therapy LA, you'll get more than clichés or recycled pop psychology. This is a deep-dive podcast for gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships—rooted in real clinical experience with thousands of clients over three decades. We talk about what actually shows up in gay men's lives: Mental health for gay men: anxiety, depression, trauma, shame, internalized homophobia Gay men's relationships: monogamy, open relationships, consensual non-monogamy, polycules, jealousy, trust, communication Sex therapy for gay men: desire, performance, erections, ejaculation, kink, porn, HIV, PrEP, sexual confidence Gay men and aging: body image, muscles, appearance pressure, midlife, older gay men, long-term HIV survivorship Dating and intimacy: hookup culture, apps, ghosting, rejection, attachment, finding and keeping a partner Gay men and success: career transitions, burnout, money, retirement, purpose, and building a life that actually feels good Episodes are mostly just me—so you get unfiltered, no-nonsense, therapist-level insight without fluff, plus occasional guests whose expertise or lived experience can help you grow. Every episode is designed to give you practical tools, perspectives, and strategies you can use immediately in your life, not just "interesting conversations." If you're a gay man who wants better mental health, stronger relationships, more satisfying sex, and a more successful, meaningful life, this podcast is for you—whether you're in your 20s, 40s, 60s, or beyond. About the practice behind the podcast Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is the podcast of my private practice: Psychotherapy for gay men in California (online) Coaching for gay men worldwide (online) I'm the founder of GayTherapyLA.com and GayCoachingLA.com, based in West Hollywood, California, serving gay men all over the world via webcam and phone. My credentials include: California Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) Certified Psychiatric Social Worker AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Certified in Consensual Non-Monogamy and Polyamorous Families Retired Adjunct Associate Professor in Social Work (USC) Through both psychotherapy (California) and coaching (worldwide), I help gay men improve their mental health, strengthen their relationships, upgrade their sex lives, and maximize their quality of life and career, leveraging their past to enhance their future. While this podcast cannot substitute for personal therapy and is provided for educational purposes only, the episodes reflect the kinds of themes and strategies I work on with clients every day. Your questions, comments, ratings, and reviews are very welcome, as are suggestions for future episodes. © 2025 Ken Howard, LCSW, CST. All rights reserved.

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