Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Barb Nangle
  • 4.9 (153)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Tired of feeling fragmented and overwhelmed? Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12-Step Recovery is your guide to creating a life of wholeness, authenticity, and healthy boundaries. Join Barb Nangle, a boundaries  coach and speaker, as she shares raw and honest insights from her own journey and the principles of 12-step recovery. Discover how to set boundaries without guilt or shame, overcome people-pleasing tendencies, manage your emotions effectively, cultivate a stronger sense of self, and build healthier relationships. Barb's approach is raw, honest, and sometimes a little bit (okay, a lot) sweary.   Barb doesn't speak for or endorse any particular 12 step program of recovery. Though she's a huge fan of 12 step recovery, and a member of two 12 step fellowships, she cannot speak for them. If you're ready for real talk and practical tools for transformation, tune in! To learn more about Barb, go to https://higherpowercc.com/

  1. Why Knowing Better Isn’t Enough and How to Train Your Nervous System Instead | Episode 332

    12/22/2025

    Why Knowing Better Isn’t Enough and How to Train Your Nervous System Instead | Episode 332

    Send us a text In this week’s episode 332 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m discussing something I often observe, especially during family gatherings: knowing your boundaries, understanding your patterns, and gaining valuable insight, yet still getting triggered. In this episode, I explain why that happens, why it’s not a failure, and what actually helps when your body reacts faster than your thinking brain. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Why your nervous system responds before your intellect, and why “knowing better” isn’t enough in the momentThe difference between insight and regulation, and why affirmations and reasoning often fail when you’re activatedWhy you don’t train your nervous system during an emergency — you train for emergenciesThe four common nervous system states (freeze, rage, fawn, and flight) and what actually helps each oneSimple, body-based practices that build internal safety and shorten recovery time when old patterns get activatedYou’re not weak. You’re not broken. You’re human. This work isn’t about never getting triggered — it’s about helping your body learn that now is different from then. When you train your nervous system ahead of time, you create more choice, more capacity, and a faster return to yourself when things get hard. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it. Start your quiz here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    14 min

  2. 12/15/2025

    The Hidden Rules You Learned Growing Up and How to Rewrite Them | Episode 331

    Send us a text In this week's episode 331 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking about the invisible, unspoken rules you absorbed growing up — the ones you never agreed to, yet have been shaping your entire emotional life. I break down how these hidden rules get installed in childhood, how they operate in adulthood, and how recovery gives you the clarity and safety to finally rewrite them. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: The unspoken “family rules” you learned through tone, punishment, silence, chaos, and inconsistencyHow perfectionism, control, all-or-nothing thinking, and the inner critic develop in dysfunctional homesThe ways these old rules still dictate your choices, boundaries, and emotional reactionsWhat happens when you finally recognize that these rules were never yours to begin withHow recovery helps you create new internal rules rooted in truth, safety, and self-compassion You don’t have to keep living by rules that were created in a dysfunctional system.  You get to unlearn perfectionism, control, fear, and judgment. And you get to replace them with patterns that support freedom, safety, and emotional wholeness. You don’t have to stay stuck in the old survival strategies. The moment you start seeing the rules clearly, you can choose new ones — rooted in truth, boundaries, and compassion for yourself. Are you ready to rewrite the rules you grew up with? Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it. Start your quiz here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    23 min
  3. Lost in Serenity with Guest Renee N. | Episode 330

    12/08/2025

    Lost in Serenity with Guest Renee N. | Episode 330

    Send us a text In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking with my long-time recovery friend, Renee N., and her story is absolutely incredible. She grew up in chaos — emotional abuse, addiction, violence, and zero safety — and spent decades dissociated and trying to survive. Recovery changed everything. Renee shares how reading the 14 Traits of an adult child made her feel seen for the first time, how meetings and therapy helped her start telling the truth, and how she slowly found enough internal safety to live in her authentic identity. We talk about people-pleasing, overworking, childhood roles, and the shock of finally experiencing serenity when you’ve lived your whole life in chaos. Now she’s present. She’s grounded. She’s no longer apologizing her way through the day.  And she’s living a life she truly never thought was possible as a transgener woman. This conversation is full of honesty, hope, and the kind of transformation that only happens when you stop surviving and start healing. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive practical tools for living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast. I’d love to hear your key takeaways. Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it. Start your quiz here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    43 min
  4. Healing Old Wounds: How Boundaries Helped Me Reconnect With Someone I Love | Episode 329

    12/01/2025

    Healing Old Wounds: How Boundaries Helped Me Reconnect With Someone I Love | Episode 329

    Send us a text Old family dynamics can feel impossible to change, especially when you’ve spent a lifetime carrying wounds that never had the chance to heal. For years, my relationship with someone I love was distant, tense, and full of unspoken history. I never imagined that could shift… until it did. This week on the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing how boundaries, emotional safety, and recovery helped me reconnect with my brother in a way I genuinely didn’t think was possible. I talk about the internal transformation that made this reconnection happen and why healing often starts inside of us long before it becomes visible in our relationships. The key points I go over in this episode include: How people-pleasing shaped our relationshipWhy internal safety allowed me to show up differentlyThe impact of setting boundaries without guiltHow making amends opened the door to connectionWhat healing old wounds can look like as an adultYou don’t need someone else to change in order for a relationship to transform. When you create safety within yourself, everything shifts. Healing becomes possible, honesty becomes easier, and old wounds finally have the space to mend. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive practical tools for living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast. I’d love to hear your key takeaways. Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it. Start your quiz here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    14 min

  5. 11/24/2025

    How Manipulation Shows Up During the Holidays and How to Get Away from It | Episode 328

    Send us a text Manipulation is often sneaky, sometimes unintentional, and rooted in fear (of abandonment, disapproval, rejection). For those in recovery, recognizing past manipulative habits—learned as dysfunctional ways to get needs met—is key. In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, we break down how manipulation is activated during the holidays, why people-pleasing IS a form of manipulation, and how to choose authentic connection over control. Key Topics Discussed: Why people-pleasing is a manipulative behavior.How childhood survival strategies (rescuing, fixing) become adult manipulative patterns.The subtle manipulation of guilt, obligation, and emotional pressure during the holidays.Deflection: Shifting focus from one's behavior to another's reaction.The shift from trying to control others' emotions to owning your own feelings.You cannot stop others from using guilt or pressure, but you can choose how you show up. Stop managing other people’s feelings and take responsibility for your own to experience true internal safety and freedom. Choose truth over performance, as real connection requires dropping the manipulation and being real. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast. I’d love to hear your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it. Start your quiz here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    13 min
  6. Five Ways to Keep the Focus on You to Create Internal Safety | Episode 327

    11/10/2025

    Five Ways to Keep the Focus on You to Create Internal Safety | Episode 327

    Send us a text The constant focus on things and people outside of your control is draining. I spent too many years of my life in this vicious cycle of external focus and validation, leaving me feeling like a fragmented, boundaryless version of myself. But all that changed with recovery.  This week on the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I am sharing the recording of a guest appearance I did with the international recovery community, Friendly Circle Berlin. I share my story of codependency, how ACA and OA shaped my healing, why emotional sobriety is the centerpiece of my life, and five ways to keep the focus on yourself so you can create internal safety from the inside out.  The five takeaways I go over in this episode include: Shift your focus to what you can control. Practice the power of self-inquiry. Mind your own business (and seek consent).Identify and own your feelings. Pour from the overflow.  You are not shattered; you are whole. The key to lasting emotional sobriety is caring more about what you think of yourself than what others think of you. Start today by choosing integrity over people-pleasing.  Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/  Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it. Start your quiz here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/  LINKS MENTIONED: Friendly Circle Berlin CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Facebook Instagram Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    34 min
  7. Letting Go Without Falling Apart: Real Stories of Boundaries and Self-Care | Episode 326

    10/27/2025

    Letting Go Without Falling Apart: Real Stories of Boundaries and Self-Care | Episode 326

    Send us a text Self-care is the very first personal boundary. It's the essential line between you and burnout, between you and your old perfectionism, and between you and the belief that your self-worth depends on what you produce. Many of us intellectually understand the need for self-care, but when we see it as a non-negotiable boundary, the entire game changes. In this week's episode 326 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I'm sharing jaw-dropping transformation stories from clients and revealing why self-care is the hardest, yet most sacred, boundary to set. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Why self-care is the most difficult boundary, especially for those prone to perfectionism and over-functioning.How simple shifts in self-care (like taking a full lunch break or not working weekends) create massive emotional change.Real-life stories of mothers who finally stopped enabling their adult sons by setting hard financial and physical boundaries.The ripple effect of new boundaries, leading to grounded conversations and a renewed commitment to personal truth in marriage and family.The central thread: Boundaries are about creating emotional safety inside yourself, not about control or punishment of others. You don't have to stay stuck in the cycle of fixing, rescuing, and over-functioning. The moment you learn to take care of yourself first, you show up from peace, not panic, and everything else begins to align. Are you ready to treat self-care as your most sacred boundary? Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/  Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it. Start your quiz here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/  CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Facebook Instagram Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session ​​Wholeness Haven - From fragmented to whole - together. A monthly community for women who've given too much for too long and are finally ready to reclaim their time, energy and wholeness.

    13 min
  8. From Flattened to Free-How to Escape the Bulldozer Cycle | Episode 325

    10/13/2025

    From Flattened to Free-How to Escape the Bulldozer Cycle | Episode 325

    Send us a text The bulldozer cycle, in relation to people pleasing, is the concept of feeling perpetually flattened by the demands and needs of others, trapped in a hidden cycle that leads to burnout and frustration. I’ll be the first to admit that setting healthy boundaries that lead to healing is hard but choosing to stay stuck in the never-ending cycle is harder. You’ve got to pick your poison. In this week’s episode 325 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m teaching you how to go from flattened to free, escaping the bulldozer cycle.  Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: The meaning of the “bulldozer cycle” and how it affects relationships.The difference between being bulldozed and being a bulldozer (even in subtle ways).The importance of self-awareness and responsibility in breaking unhealthy patterns.Practical steps for setting boundaries and regulating your nervous system.Inspirational questions to reflect on your own patterns of being bulldozed or bulldozing others. You don’t have to stay flattened or bulldoze others to feel safe. With courage and the right tools, you can stand tall in your own dignity and create healthier, more authentic relationships. Ready to take the next step? Explore my resources at higherpowercc.com, or book a call to see if private coaching is right for you.  Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/  Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it. Start your quiz here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/  CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Facebook Instagram Work with Barb!  LINKS MENTIONED: Shameless Boundaries Course Curated bundles Book a call to see if coaching is right for you

    16 min
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4.9
out of 5
153 Ratings

About

Tired of feeling fragmented and overwhelmed? Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12-Step Recovery is your guide to creating a life of wholeness, authenticity, and healthy boundaries. Join Barb Nangle, a boundaries  coach and speaker, as she shares raw and honest insights from her own journey and the principles of 12-step recovery. Discover how to set boundaries without guilt or shame, overcome people-pleasing tendencies, manage your emotions effectively, cultivate a stronger sense of self, and build healthier relationships. Barb's approach is raw, honest, and sometimes a little bit (okay, a lot) sweary.   Barb doesn't speak for or endorse any particular 12 step program of recovery. Though she's a huge fan of 12 step recovery, and a member of two 12 step fellowships, she cannot speak for them. If you're ready for real talk and practical tools for transformation, tune in! To learn more about Barb, go to https://higherpowercc.com/

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