Peace and Parenting: How to Parent without Punishments

Michelle Kenney, M. Ed
  • 4.9 (351)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

Are you sick of parenting with the ideas of yelling and shame and looking for something that feels better, is different, but still has a sense of boundaries and limits? Welcome to Peace and Parenting! Michelle is a former teacher, counselor, certified parenting coach, mom of two teens, recovering yeller, and perfectionist who parents without using punishments altogether. And guess what? It works! On this show, you’ll learn the how behind having kids who are entirely UNPUNISHED but who are also successful, kind, loving, and know how to follow directions.  Once a week, Michelle shares her insights and expertise on connective parenting through solo episodes and interviews with experts and other struggling parents. If you have exhausted all other options and don't know what to do next, this could be the parenting strategy you've been searching for.

  1. 4d ago

    There's No Such Thing as a Perfect Parent

    When you lie awake at night, what do you replay? Not the hundred things you got right that day. Not the lunches, the drop-offs, the bedtime story you were too tired to read but read anyway. You replay the one moment you lost it. The snap. The raised voice. The look on their face. And you carry it like it's the whole story. Most of us believe that guilt is proof we're good parents. That our mistakes need to be paid for. That if we ever forgive ourselves, we'll stop trying. But it works the opposite way. Guilt doesn't reach your child at all. It just drains the tank you need to show up the next morning. In this episode, I share the nights I went to bed crying, the moment that finally let me put the guilt down, and the four-step repair that matters far more than being perfect ever could. Join us on our Weekly Training every Thursday at 9:30 am PT live on Zoom Interested in coaching? Let's have a conversation Check out my book UNPUNISHED Join us inside Skool Follow Peace and Parenting: Instagram: @peaceandparenting Facebook: @peaceandparentingla YouTube: @peaceandparentingla 💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review. Feeling called to bring this work to other parents? Our Coaching Certification Program trains you to do exactly that. DM me CERTIFICATION on Instagram for details. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    There's No Such Thing as a Perfect Parent

  2. Aug 25

    Kind and Firm: Hold a Boundary Without Losing Connection

    We were told boundaries and connection sit on opposite ends of a dial. Slide toward strict and you get control but lose warmth. Slide toward gentle, and you get closeness but lose the floor. So we spend our days inching back and forth, guilty when we're too hard, exhausted when we're too soft, certain we have to pick one. Here is what Peace and Parenting coach Tim learned by raising four kids, after getting it wrong in both directions. Connection and a boundary were never on the same dial. A punishment is aimed at your child and their behavior. A boundary is aimed at you and what you will do. Once you stop needing your kid to be okay with the limit in the moment, you can stay warm while you hold it. Kind is how you say it. Firm is that you don't have to change it. Join us on our Weekly Training every Thursday at 9:30 am PT live on Zoom Interested in coaching? Let's have a conversation Check out my book UNPUNISHED Join us inside Skool Follow Peace and Parenting: Instagram: @peaceandparenting Facebook: @peaceandparentingla YouTube: @peaceandparentingla 💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review. Feeling called to bring this work to other parents? Our Coaching Certification Program trains you to do exactly that. DM me CERTIFICATION on Instagram for details. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    Kind and Firm: Hold a Boundary Without Losing Connection

  3. Aug 18

    Case Study: What If You're Already Enough?

    Most of us carry a quiet belief that we have to be everything for our kids. If the other parent isn't showing up the way we wish they would, we tell ourselves it's on us to fill every gap. To be the nurturer and the rough-and-tumble one. To make up for what they didn't get, so they never feel the lack we felt. And we run ourselves into the ground trying. In this conversation, Mary, a mom of three, brings Michelle exactly that ache. She feels responsible for holding every role, and she's exhausted. What unfolds is a gentle unraveling of the belief underneath it. You cannot give your child everything, and you were never supposed to. The one thing they actually need is connection, and connection is not about quantity or covering every base. It's about being your fullest, most grounded self, and letting that be enough. Join us on our Weekly Training every Thursday at 9:30 am PT live on Zoom Interested in coaching? Let's have a conversation Check out my book UNPUNISHED Join us inside Skool Follow Peace and Parenting: Instagram: @peaceandparenting Facebook: @peaceandparentingla YouTube: @peaceandparentingla 💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review. Feeling called to bring this work to other parents? Our Coaching Certification Program trains you to do exactly that. DM me CERTIFICATION on Instagram for details. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    Case Study: What If You're Already Enough?

  4. Aug 11

    Your Kid Doesn't Need Two Houses That Agree, They Need One That's Safe

    We've all been told the same thing. Kids need consistency above everything else. The same rules, the same bedtime, the same consequences in every home they live in. So when the other parent won't get on the same page, we panic. We send the articles. We lecture. We build the case. We pour ourselves into a fight we were never going to win, and we call it love. But here is the truth. Your child is not destabilized by two different sets of rules. They already know the rules at school are not the rules at Grandma's. They code-switch all day long, and it does not break them. What actually costs them is the whiplash of two adults at war. You do not have to parent the same. You just have to build one safe home, and that is entirely yours to do. Join us on our Weekly Training every Thursday at 9:30 am PT live on Zoom Interested in coaching? Let's have a conversation Check out my book UNPUNISHED Join us inside Skool Follow Peace and Parenting: Instagram: @peaceandparenting Facebook: @peaceandparentingla YouTube: @peaceandparentingla 💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review. Feeling called to bring this work to other parents? Our Coaching Certification Program trains you to do exactly that. DM me CERTIFICATION on Instagram for details. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    Your Kid Doesn't Need Two Houses That Agree, They Need One That's Safe

  5. Aug 4

    Rewards Are Punishments in Disguise

    For years, I thought I was doing everything right. I had left the yelling behind. I praised my girls constantly; I made star charts. I was a trained teacher and a school counselor, and I believed with my whole heart that catching kids being good was the kind, positive way to parent. I thought I was building my daughters up. What I could not see was that I was quietly teaching them that my warmth was something they had to earn. The thing that cracked it open for me was watching my sensitive oldest, Esme. She had decided her teacher loved her or hated her depending on how many stars she got that day, and she was holding it together at school and falling apart the second she got home to me. That was when I realized the reward system I was fighting at her school was the same one I had been running at home. In this episode, I share what I learned: why praise and punishment are not opposites, why the carrot stops working, and what to say to your child instead so they grow up knowing who they are rather than watching you to find out who to be. Join us on our Weekly Training every Thursday at 9:30 am PT live on Zoom Interested in coaching? Let's have a conversation Check out my book UNPUNISHED Join us inside Skool Follow Peace and Parenting: Instagram: @peaceandparenting Facebook: @peaceandparentingla YouTube: @peaceandparentingla 💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review. Feeling called to bring this work to other parents? Our Coaching Certification Program trains you to do exactly that. DM me CERTIFICATION on Instagram for details. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    Rewards Are Punishments in Disguise

  6. Jul 28

    Play Instead of Punishment

    When your child is being hard, what is the first tool you reach for? A countdown. A consequence. A lecture. A raised voice. Almost every one of those is a version of the same instinct: when my child gets hard, I get harder. It makes complete sense, because that is exactly what we were taught to do. In this episode, I am making the case for the opposite. The single most powerful thing you can do in your hardest parenting moments is not bring more pressure. It is to bring more play. I know exactly what some of you are thinking: play rewards bad behavior. Actually, it does the opposite. A hard behavior is a child who is stuck, and play dissolves the stuckness. Hard moments call for seriousness. Actually, a serious face reads as more of a threat to your child's nervous system, and threat escalates behavior. Play is for little kids. Your teenager did not stop playing. You did. This episode dismantles the three biggest myths that keep parents stuck, then hands you the tools to try tonight. Download the Play Guide Join us on our Weekly Training every Thursday at 9:30 am PT live on Zoom Interested in coaching? Let's have a conversation Check out my book UNPUNISHED Follow Peace and Parenting: Instagram: @peaceandparenting Facebook: @peaceandparentingla YouTube: @peaceandparentingla 💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review. Feeling called to bring this work to other parents? Our Coaching Certification Program trains you to do exactly that. DM me CERTIFICATION on Instagram for details. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    Play Instead of Punishment

  7. Jul 21

    Your Neurodivergent Child Doesn’t Need a Different Parent

    When Cammie's son began struggling with school, anxiety, and sensory challenges, she heard the same message so many parents hear: maybe he needed a different approach. But instead of abandoning connection, she leaned into it, and watched something remarkable happen. In this episode, Coach Cammie shares her family's journey, from heartbreaking school drop-offs to the moment her son was finally ready to walk into school on his own. Together, we explore why neurodivergent children don't need a different kind of parent, they need the same foundation of connection, offered with even more understanding, patience, and trust. Join us on our Weekly Training every Thursday at 9:30 am PT live on Zoom Interested in coaching? Let's have a conversation Check out my book UNPUNISHED Follow Peace and Parenting: Instagram: @peaceandparenting Facebook: @peaceandparentingla YouTube: @peaceandparentingla 💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review. Feeling called to bring this work to other parents? Our Coaching Certification Program trains you to do exactly that. DM me CERTIFICATION on Instagram for details. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    Your Neurodivergent Child Doesn’t Need a Different Parent

  8. Jul 14

    Your Child is Not Disrespectful, They Are Dysregulated.

    For years, I believed that when my daughters pushed back, they were being defiant. Then one afternoon at the American Girl store, my youngest daughter had a public meltdown that completely changed the way I understood children's behavior and my role as a parent. In this episode, I'm sharing why behavior is communication, not defiance, and how learning to read the message beneath your child's actions can transform your relationship. I'll walk you through the mindset shifts and practical tools that helped me stop fighting the behavior and start understanding the child underneath it. Join us on our Weekly Training every Thursday at 9:30 am PT live on Zoom Join our Skool Community Check out my book UNPUNISHED Follow Peace and Parenting: Instagram: @peaceandparenting Facebook: @peaceandparentingla YouTube: @peaceandparentingla 💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review. Feeling called to bring this work to other parents? Our Coaching Certification Program trains you to do exactly that. DM me CERTIFICATION on Instagram for details. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    Your Child is Not Disrespectful, They Are Dysregulated.
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Are you sick of parenting with the ideas of yelling and shame and looking for something that feels better, is different, but still has a sense of boundaries and limits? Welcome to Peace and Parenting! Michelle is a former teacher, counselor, certified parenting coach, mom of two teens, recovering yeller, and perfectionist who parents without using punishments altogether. And guess what? It works! On this show, you’ll learn the how behind having kids who are entirely UNPUNISHED but who are also successful, kind, loving, and know how to follow directions.  Once a week, Michelle shares her insights and expertise on connective parenting through solo episodes and interviews with experts and other struggling parents. If you have exhausted all other options and don't know what to do next, this could be the parenting strategy you've been searching for.

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