Joy Lab | strengthen your mental health with the science of joy

Henry Emmons MD, Holistic Psychiatry; Aimee Prasek PhD, Positive Psychology
  • 4.9 (166)
  • Mental Health
  • Weekly

Joy Lab isn't your typical happiness podcast. We focus on strengthening your mental health with the science of joy, recognizing that joy can be tapped into even amidst experiences like depression, anxiety, stress, grief, and burnout. You can expect a blend of the best cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques, positive psychology practices, stress management techniques, and mindfulness skills. Each month we focus on building one Element of Joy such as gratitude, self-compassion, confidence, self-acceptance, humility, and self-connection. It's a holistic approach to mental health that's refreshingly free of finger-wagging and toxic positivity and full of practical, whole-person support that's empowering and actually helps. Joy Lab is hosted by two leaders in mental health, Henry Emmons, MD (integrative psychiatrist) and Aimee Prasek, PhD (mental health researcher). You'll probably find this podcast most useful if any of these feel familiar: * You feel caught in cycles of worry, anxiety, or panic attacks. * Stress has settled into your body, with tension, fatigue, and irritation showing up too often. * The news of the world is getting under your skin, affecting your mood and focus more than you'd like to admit. * Day-to-day life feels too "meh" and you want something more. * Your mind feels full, foggy, or restless... maybe at 3am, when it seems especially determined to revisit everything you can't solve. * You've been in a low mood or depression rut for a while and you want tools to move through it. * Burnout has left you exhausted, detached, or running on empty. New episodes drop every Wednesday + the 1st of each month. Each episode is a practical guide to managing depression and anxiety, building resilience, cultivating joy, and navigating life with more steadiness. It's an empowering approach that isn't just focused on what's wrong or endlessly chasing after fleeting moments of happiness. Henry and Aimee bring 50+ combined years of mental health expertise, along with the lived experience to know that "not so bad" is not the end goal for mental health. Joy Lab is here to help you reclaim the resilience and joy that's already within you. Joy Lab is an Ambie-nominated, trusted mental health resource and is powered by Pathways North, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. This content is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Consult your doctor or a qualified health professional before making changes to your health routine. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 (SAMHSA) or contact the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-6264 (Mon–Fri, 10am–10pm ET), text "HelpLine" to 62640, or email helpline@nami.org.

JOY LAB EXPERIMENTS

Weekly practices to build your resilience & joy

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  1. 21h ago

    Being Hard on Yourself Doesn't Keep You Motivated: Here's the Science of Self-Compassion [295]

    Self-compassion isn't easy... most of us are harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. On top of that, we often don't even realize how self-critical, self-judgmental, or harsh we are. In this episode, we'll get into what self-compassion actually is, how it can help us, and why the myth that self-criticism is motivating can actually harm our mental health.    Ready to take action? Learn more about Experiments here.    Related Episodes: Start of this series: Our New Element of Self-Compassion: What It Is, Why It Matters, & What's Coming [ep. 294]   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating. Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North.   Questions this episode was made for: Q: What is self-compassion, and how is it different from self-esteem or self-acceptance? A: This episode uses Dr. Kristin Neff's definition: being supportive toward yourself when experiencing suffering or pain, whether from personal mistakes or external challenges. We also like to think of self-compassion as being a friend to yourself. Self-compassion also builds on concepts like self-acceptance and enoughness (we have lots of episodes on those concepts too).   Q: Isn't being hard on yourself what keeps you motivated? Won't self-compassion just make me lazy? A: Self-criticism can trigger a short-term stress response that gets you to take a quick action, but behavior change is an endurance game, and stress is not good endurance fuel. More impactful drivers of sustainable change are anchored in self-worth, self-efficacy, self-awareness, and self-compassion. That's why we focus on these kinds of strength-building Elements at Joy Lab.   Key moments: [00:00] Welcome to the Self-Compassion Element  [02:00] ~80% of people are harder on themselves than others [04:00] Dr. Kristin Neff's definition of self-compassion [06:00] Self-compassion as friendship  [08:00] What self-compassion does in the body and brain [10:00] Self-criticism is not sustainable fuel for behavior change [14:00] Stress as addiction [18:00] Neff's three components preview — mindfulness, self-kindness, common humanity [19:00] Closing wisdom from Dr. Christopher Germer: "A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life."    Sources and Notes for Our Element of Self-Compassion:  Breines, J. G., & Chen, S. (2012). Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 38(9), 1133–1143. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167212445599  Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 410–429. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000138  Curran, T., Hill, A. P., & Pose, P. M. (2026). Perfectionism is accelerating over time: A cross-temporal meta-analytic review of 35 years of college student data. Psychological Bulletin, 152(3), 255–287. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000518  Germer, C. K. (2009). The mindful path to self-compassion: Freeing yourself from destructive thoughts and emotions. Guilford Press. Gilbert, P. (2009). The compassionate mind: A new approach to life's challenges. Constable & Robinson. Gilbert, P. (2014). The origins and nature of compassion focused therapy. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 53(1), 6–41. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjc.12043  Loftus, E. F., & Pickrell, J. E. (1995). The Formation of False Memories. Psychiatric Annals, 25(12), 720–725. https://doi.org/10.3928/0048-5713-19951201-07   Neff, K. (2023). Self-compassion: Theory, method, research, and intervention. Annual Review of Psychology, 74, 193–218. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-032420-031047 Neff, K. (2021). Fierce self-compassion: How women can harness kindness to speak up, claim their power, and thrive. Harper Wave. Neff, K. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. William Morrow. Sirois, F. M. (2014). Procrastination and stress: Exploring the role of self-compassion. Self and Identity, 13(2), 128–145. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2013.763404  Stevenson, B. (2014). Just mercy: A story of justice and redemption. Spiegel & Grau. Tangney, J. P., & Dearing, R. L. (2002). Shame and guilt. Guilford Press. Tangney, J. P., Stuewig, J., & Mashek, D. J. (2007). Moral emotions and moral behavior. Annual Review of Psychology, 58, 345–372. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.56.091103.070145  Wade, K. A., Garry, M., Read, J. D., & Lindsay, D. S. (2002). A picture is worth a thousand lies: Using false photographs to create false childhood memories. Psychonomic Bulletin & Review, 9(3), 597–603. https://doi.org/10.3758/BF03196318  Woods, H., & Proeve, M. (2014). Relationships of mindfulness, self-compassion, and meditation experience with shame-proneness. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 28(1), 20–33. https://doi.org/10.1891/0889-8391.28.1.20    If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here.

    Being Hard on Yourself Doesn't Keep You Motivated: Here's the Science of Self-Compassion [295]

  2. 22h ago · Subscribers Only

    Experiment: Experiment: Evening Self-Compassion [295]

    This is a practice that's great in the evening, helping you to look back over your day for self-compassion. Noticing where self-compassion showed up, and where it could have, helps you apply it a little more each day. Whatever you find, your attention is preparing the soil and planting seeds for self-compassion to grow. Try it at night, in bed or wherever you are, and treat everything in it as an invitation. 🔓These Experiments are unlocked with a Joy Lab Experiment subscription. Learn more: https://www.JoyLab.coach/experiments Your subscription helps keep Joy Lab ad-free and supports our nonprofit’s mission to improve our individual and collective resilience and make mental health resources more accessible and empowering. Learn more about Pathways North 501(c)(3) at www.pathwaysnorth.org. Tips and reminders for your Experiments: *Everything is an invitation. You are in charge of the experience. Don’t doubt your wisdom if you feel like something doesn’t resonate or that you want to skip a step, pause, or stop. *Too much is too much. If anything feels like too much, then it’s likely too much to do on your own. You can stop the practice, press your feet into the floor, notice the smells and sights around you, and enjoy some full cycles of breathing. You can always come back to an experiment or do it with a licensed mental health professional. *Not a substitute for care. Joy Lab is focused on building wellbeing, resilience, and mental health strengths. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. The podcast, Experiments, and other resources can be a great partner with care from a qualified mental health professional. If you’re working with a therapist or psychiatrist, let them know about your work with Joy Lab. *More support is available. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

    Experiment: Experiment: Evening Self-Compassion [295]

  3. 3d ago

    Our New Element of Self-Compassion: What It Is, Why It Matters, & What's Coming [294]

    Self-compassion is one of our most powerful tools to support mental health. The problem is that a lot of us are real jerks to ourselves... and most of the time, we don't even notice we're doing it. Over the next four episodes, we'll talk about the power of self-compassion, bust the myth that being hard on yourself is what keeps you motivated, explore how to reduce the suffering we pile on top of life's hard stuff, and dig into the common humanity of suffering. Before we dive in to all that next episode, please consider supporting this important work. Rate and review the pod wherever you're listening, share Joy Lab with a friend, and join us for our Experiments.  Ready to take action? Learn more about Experiments here.  About: The Joy Lab Podcast is a Signal Gold Award winner and an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you build your mental health strengths. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating. Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North.   Full transcript here   Key moments: [00:00] New Element: Self-Compassion [02:00] Why Joy Lab stays ad-free and how community support keeps it going [04:00] What's ahead in the Self-Compassion Series    If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here.

    Our New Element of Self-Compassion: What It Is, Why It Matters, & What's Coming [294]

  4. 3d ago · Subscribers Only

    Experiment: Morning Self-Compassion [294]

    This short morning Experiment helps you set an intention for our Element, self-compassion, so it stays front of mind throughout your day. What we give our attention to expands in our lives, and self-compassion is a wonderful thing to grow. 🔓These Experiments are unlocked with a Joy Lab Experiment subscription. Learn more: https://www.JoyLab.coach/experiments Your subscription helps keep Joy Lab ad-free and supports our nonprofit’s mission to improve our individual and collective resilience and make mental health resources more accessible and empowering. Learn more about Pathways North 501(c)(3) at www.pathwaysnorth.org. Tips and reminders for your Experiments: *Everything is an invitation. You are in charge of the experience. Don’t doubt your wisdom if you feel like something doesn’t resonate or that you want to skip a step, pause, or stop. *Too much is too much. If anything feels like too much, then it’s likely too much to do on your own. You can stop the practice, press your feet into the floor, notice the smells and sights around you, and enjoy some full cycles of breathing. You can always come back to an experiment or do it with a licensed mental health professional. *Not a substitute for care. Joy Lab is focused on building wellbeing, resilience, and mental health strengths. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. The podcast, Experiments, and other resources can be a great partner with care from a qualified mental health professional. If you’re working with a therapist or psychiatrist, let them know about your work with Joy Lab. *More support is available. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

    Experiment: Morning Self-Compassion [294]

  5. Oct 28

    When the Need to Control Controls You: How to Break the Cycle, Reclaim Agency, & Find What's Yours to Do [293]

    We're wired to seek control, but that drive often misfires, leaving us more anxious and exhausted than before. In this episode, we dig into the illusion of control and the much more useful concept of identifying things like agency and autonomy. We'll dive into the obstacles and key strategies to redirect energy away from what we can't control and toward what's actually ours to do. Head to the Experiment to practice this shift — and find a little more of what Thich Nhat Hanh calls the only condition for happiness: freedom.   Ready to take action? Learn more about Experiments here.    Related Episodes: This series: E289- What Are You Holding On To? The Science & Skill of Letting Go E290- Letting Go of Intrusive Thoughts & Rumination: The Pink Elephant Paradox, The Whac-A-Mole Problem, & Skills That Actually Help E291- Letting Go of the Stories You Tell Yourself: Is It True? Is It Helpful? Is It Kind? E292- Letting Go of the Need for Closure: Why Life's Biggest Problems Can Only Be Outgrown   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating. Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North.   Questions this episode was made for: Q: Why do I feel such a strong need to control everything, even when I know I can't? A: This episode explains the brain science behind it: our brains are prediction machines wired to seek control as a survival strategy, and that drive can misfire in modern life. There are a lot of low-level stressors we face on a daily basis. If we are trying to "fix" them all, we can get stuck in a cycle that can turn into anxiety, rigidity, and exhaustion.   Q: How do I let go of control without feeling helpless or irresponsible? A: This episode draws a key distinction between control (an illusion) and agency (real influence over your own actions, choices, and responses). We can work to identify the situation more accurately and then ask "what's mine to do?" or "what depends on me?" These questions can determine where to put your energy and where you can loosen your grip.   Full transcript   Key moments: [00:00] Welcome — letting go of control [02:00] The illusion of control [06:00] Why we're wired for control & how it can backfire into things like anxiety, rigidity [08:00] Agency vs. control [10:00] Practicing letting go with the small stuff [12:00] The control spectrum [16:00] What's within our power vs. what isn't. "What is dependent on me?" Epictetus, Stephen Covey [20:00] Control is an illusion; autonomy is real. "What's mine to do?" [22:00] Loosening the grip of control frees us from unfair burdens    Sources and Notes for Our Element of Letting Go: Alloy & Abramson. (1979). Judgment of contingency in depressed and nondepressed students: Sadder but wiser? 10.1037//0096-3445.108.4.441 Botvinick & Cohen. (1998). Rubber hands "feel" touch that eyes see. doi.org/10.1038/35784 Clark & Radomsky (2014). Introduction: A global perspective on unwanted intrusive thoughts. 10.1016/j.jocrd.2014.02.001 Damasio, A. R. (1994). Descartes' error: Emotion, reason, and the human brain. G. P. Putnam's Sons. de Mello, A. (1990). Awareness. Doubleday. Epictetus. (2014). Discourses, fragments, handbook (R. Hard, Trans.). Oxford University Press. Feldman, et al. (2023). Interoceptive ability moderates the effect of physiological reactivity on social judgment. 10.1037/emo0001210 Freud, S. (1957). Mourning and melancholia. In J. Strachey (Ed. & Trans.), The standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 14, pp. 243–258). Hogarth Press. (Original work published 1917) Gottlieb, L. (2019). Maybe you should talk to someone: A therapist, her therapist, and our lives revealed. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Jung, C. G. (1962). Commentary. In R. Wilhelm (Trans.), The secret of the golden flower: A Chinese book of life (C. F. Baynes, Trans.; Rev. ed.). Harcourt, Brace & World. (Original work published 1929) Klass, D., Silverman, P. R., & Nickman, S. L. (Eds.). (1996). Continuing bonds: New understandings of grief. Taylor & Francis. Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying. Macmillan. Langer, E. J. (1975). The illusion of control. doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.32.2.311 Langer, E. J. (2009). Counterclockwise. Ballantine Books. Luo, M. (2004, February 27). For exercise in New York futility, push button. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/27/nyregion/for-exercise-in-new-york-futility-push-button.html MacCormack & Lindquis (2019). Feeling hangry? When hunger is conceptualized as emotion. 10.1037/emo0000422 Mauss, et al. (2011). Can seeking happiness make people unhappy? Paradoxical effects of valuing happiness. doi.org/10.1037/a0022010 Morewedge, et al. (2010). Consuming experience: Why affective forecasters overestimate comparative value. 10.1016/j.jesp.2010.07.010  Moulding, et al. (2014). Part 2. They scare because we care: The relationship between obsessive intrusive thoughts and appraisals and control strategies across 15 cities. 10.1016/j.jocrd.2014.02.006 Nhat Hanh, T. (1998). Fragrant palm leaves: Journals, 1962–1966. Parallax Press. Palmer, P. J. (2016, April 27). The gift of presence, the perils of advice. The On Being Project. https://onbeing.org/blog/the-gift-of-presence-the-perils-of-advice/ Paumgarten, N. (2008, April 21). Up and then down: The lives of elevators. The New Yorker. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2008/04/21/up-and-then-down Rachman, S. (1981). Part I. Unwanted intrusive cognitions. 10.1016/0146-6402(81)90007-2 Radomsky, et al. (2014). Part 1—You can run but you can't hide: Intrusive thoughts on six continents. Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders, 3(3), 269–279. 10.1016/j.jocrd.2013.09.002 Siegel, et al. (2018). Seeing what you feel: Affect drives visual perception of structurally neutral faces. 10.1177/0956797617741718 Singer, M. A. (2007). The untethered soul: The journey beyond yourself. New Harbinger Publications. Quoidbach, J., Gilbert, D. T., & Wilson, T. D. (2013). The end of history illusion. 10.1126/science.1229294 Wegner, et al. (1987). Paradoxical effects of thought suppression. 10.1037/0022-3514.53.1.5 Wilson & Gilbert. 2005). Affective forecasting: Knowing what to want. 10.1111/j.0963-7214.2005.00355.x   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here.

    When the Need to Control Controls You: How to Break the Cycle, Reclaim Agency, & Find What's Yours to Do [293]

  6. Oct 28 · Subscribers Only

    Experiment: Notice Holding & Releasing [293]

    Sometimes we’re gripping so tightly we don’t even realize it, and this is a chance to notice that tension and then invite release. Even little practices like this remind your system that you can let go of what doesn't depend on you. And those little reminders and releases add up to create more space and freedom to put your energy where you really want it. 🔓These Experiments are unlocked with a Joy Lab Experiment subscription. Learn more: https://www.JoyLab.coach/experiments Your subscription helps keep Joy Lab ad-free and supports our nonprofit’s mission to improve our individual and collective resilience and make mental health resources more accessible and empowering. Learn more about Pathways North 501(c)(3) at www.pathwaysnorth.org. Tips and reminders for your Experiments: *Everything is an invitation. You are in charge of the experience. Don’t doubt your wisdom if you feel like something doesn’t resonate or that you want to skip a step, pause, or stop. *Too much is too much. If anything feels like too much, then it’s likely too much to do on your own. You can stop the practice, press your feet into the floor, notice the smells and sights around you, and enjoy some full cycles of breathing. You can always come back to an experiment or do it with a licensed mental health professional. *Not a substitute for care. Joy Lab is focused on building wellbeing, resilience, and mental health strengths. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. The podcast, Experiments, and other resources can be a great partner with care from a qualified mental health professional. If you’re working with a therapist or psychiatrist, let them know about your work with Joy Lab. *More support is available. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

    Experiment: Notice Holding & Releasing [293]

  7. Oct 21

    Letting Go of the Need for Closure: Why Life's Biggest Problems Can Only Be Outgrown [292]

    Closure often feels like it should be the goal when we're dealing with grief or going through a tough time. But what if closure is actually a myth and the pressure to "get over it," "fix it," or emerge as a better version of ourselves is doing more harm than good? In this episode, we dig into the myth of closure: the mistaken belief that complex losses and life problems should be processed into some kind of clean, final resolution. We explore why closure is appealing but often not possible, what Carl Jung and Pauline Boss say about insoluble problems and ambiguous loss, and what it actually means to find healing and growth without closure.   Ready to take action? Learn more about Experiments here.    Related Episodes: Start of our Grief Series. ep. 248: Grief, Growth & The Wholeness of Being Human (Grief Recovery & Healing Series part 1)   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating. Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North.   Full transcript here   Questions this episode was made for: Q: Is closure real? Can you ever really "get over" a significant loss? A: This episode explores why closure is more myth than reality for life's most significant losses, and why that's not a failure. Carl Jung argued that the most important problems in life are insoluble: they can't be solved, only outgrown; and Pauline Boss's work on ambiguous loss shows that some losses, by nature, never come to a clear resolution. And that's okay. Q: What should I reach for instead of closure after a loss? A: This episode discusses approaches like "continuing bonds," the idea that maintaining an evolving inner connection with what or who we've lost can be healthy and adaptive. The goal then is not closure but growth around the loss, holding both the love and the pain.   Key moments: [00:00] The myth of closure [02:00] The myth of closure and perfection [04:00] How Kubler-Ross's stages of grief got distorted and Freud's decathexis   [08:00] A drive for closure can lead us to avoid what is true  [10:00] Carl Jung on insoluble problems [12:00] Holding opposites: making the best decision possible without actually solving the problem  [14:00] The difference between closure and completion  [16:00] The first law of thermodynamics applies to grief too [18:00] Continuing bonds theory (Klass, Silverman, Nickman) [20:00] Internalized vs. externalized bonds  [22:00] Example with Alzheimer's diagnosis, the relentless nature of grief without closure [24:00] Pauline Boss and ambiguous loss: [26:00] Both/and thinking     Sources and Notes for Our Element of Letting Go: Alloy & Abramson. (1979). Judgment of contingency in depressed and nondepressed students: Sadder but wiser? 10.1037//0096-3445.108.4.441 Botvinick & Cohen. (1998). Rubber hands "feel" touch that eyes see. doi.org/10.1038/35784 Clark & Radomsky (2014). Introduction: A global perspective on unwanted intrusive thoughts. 10.1016/j.jocrd.2014.02.001 Damasio, A. R. (1994). Descartes' error: Emotion, reason, and the human brain. G. P. Putnam's Sons. de Mello, A. (1990). Awareness. Doubleday. Epictetus. (2014). Discourses, fragments, handbook (R. Hard, Trans.). Oxford University Press. Feldman, et al. (2023). Interoceptive ability moderates the effect of physiological reactivity on social judgment. 10.1037/emo0001210 Freud, S. (1957). Mourning and melancholia. In J. Strachey (Ed. & Trans.), The standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 14, pp. 243–258). Hogarth Press. (Original work published 1917) Gottlieb, L. (2019). Maybe you should talk to someone: A therapist, her therapist, and our lives revealed. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Jung, C. G. (1962). Commentary. In R. Wilhelm (Trans.), The secret of the golden flower: A Chinese book of life (C. F. Baynes, Trans.; Rev. ed.). Harcourt, Brace & World. (Original work published 1929) Klass, D., Silverman, P. R., & Nickman, S. L. (Eds.). (1996). Continuing bonds: New understandings of grief. Taylor & Francis. Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying. Macmillan. Langer, E. J. (1975). The illusion of control. doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.32.2.311 Langer, E. J. (2009). Counterclockwise. Ballantine Books. Luo, M. (2004, February 27). For exercise in New York futility, push button. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/27/nyregion/for-exercise-in-new-york-futility-push-button.html MacCormack & Lindquis (2019). Feeling hangry? When hunger is conceptualized as emotion. 10.1037/emo0000422 Mauss, et al. (2011). 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It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here.

    Letting Go of the Need for Closure: Why Life's Biggest Problems Can Only Be Outgrown [292]

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    Experiment: Holding Both [292]

    🔓These Experiments are unlocked with a Joy Lab Experiment subscription. Learn more: https://www.JoyLab.coach/experiments Your subscription helps keep Joy Lab ad-free and supports our nonprofit’s mission to improve our individual and collective resilience and make mental health resources more accessible and empowering. Learn more about Pathways North 501(c)(3) at www.pathwaysnorth.org. Tips and reminders for your Experiments: *Everything is an invitation. You are in charge of the experience. Don’t doubt your wisdom if you feel like something doesn’t resonate or that you want to skip a step, pause, or stop. *Too much is too much. If anything feels like too much, then it’s likely too much to do on your own. You can stop the practice, press your feet into the floor, notice the smells and sights around you, and enjoy some full cycles of breathing. You can always come back to an experiment or do it with a licensed mental health professional. *Not a substitute for care. Joy Lab is focused on building wellbeing, resilience, and mental health strengths. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. The podcast, Experiments, and other resources can be a great partner with care from a qualified mental health professional. If you’re working with a therapist or psychiatrist, let them know about your work with Joy Lab. *More support is available. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

    Experiment: Holding Both [292]
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Joy Lab isn't your typical happiness podcast. We focus on strengthening your mental health with the science of joy, recognizing that joy can be tapped into even amidst experiences like depression, anxiety, stress, grief, and burnout. You can expect a blend of the best cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques, positive psychology practices, stress management techniques, and mindfulness skills. Each month we focus on building one Element of Joy such as gratitude, self-compassion, confidence, self-acceptance, humility, and self-connection. It's a holistic approach to mental health that's refreshingly free of finger-wagging and toxic positivity and full of practical, whole-person support that's empowering and actually helps. Joy Lab is hosted by two leaders in mental health, Henry Emmons, MD (integrative psychiatrist) and Aimee Prasek, PhD (mental health researcher). You'll probably find this podcast most useful if any of these feel familiar: * You feel caught in cycles of worry, anxiety, or panic attacks. * Stress has settled into your body, with tension, fatigue, and irritation showing up too often. * The news of the world is getting under your skin, affecting your mood and focus more than you'd like to admit. * Day-to-day life feels too "meh" and you want something more. * Your mind feels full, foggy, or restless... maybe at 3am, when it seems especially determined to revisit everything you can't solve. * You've been in a low mood or depression rut for a while and you want tools to move through it. * Burnout has left you exhausted, detached, or running on empty. New episodes drop every Wednesday + the 1st of each month. Each episode is a practical guide to managing depression and anxiety, building resilience, cultivating joy, and navigating life with more steadiness. It's an empowering approach that isn't just focused on what's wrong or endlessly chasing after fleeting moments of happiness. Henry and Aimee bring 50+ combined years of mental health expertise, along with the lived experience to know that "not so bad" is not the end goal for mental health. Joy Lab is here to help you reclaim the resilience and joy that's already within you. Joy Lab is an Ambie-nominated, trusted mental health resource and is powered by Pathways North, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. This content is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Consult your doctor or a qualified health professional before making changes to your health routine. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 (SAMHSA) or contact the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-6264 (Mon–Fri, 10am–10pm ET), text "HelpLine" to 62640, or email helpline@nami.org.

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